


To Take a Chance

by SavageStar



Series: To Curse the Darkness [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Astronauts, Breastfeeding, Childbirth, Discussion of Abortion, Dominance, Dominant Kylo Ren, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Face Slapping, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Forced Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Death in Childbirth, Imprisonment, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kidnapping, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Lactation, Language Barrier, NASA, Nursing, Orgasm Control, Possessive Kylo Ren, Pregnancy, Protective Kylo Ren, Rape, Slow Burn, Smut, Submission, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tags May Change, Torture, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:14:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 117,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26368528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SavageStar/pseuds/SavageStar
Summary: An Astronaut at the International Space Station.A powerful ruler posed to become Emperor of the most dominant regime in the galaxy.A mysterious event brings them together.Will they take a chance on each other?
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Series: To Curse the Darkness [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916200
Comments: 9
Kudos: 25





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> 12/18/20: Today is the memoriam of the death of our beloved Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren.  
> To honor his memory, no updates will be posted today.  
> The Supreme Leader is dead. Long Live the Supreme Leader.  
> Requiescat in Pace.
> 
> 12/16/20: I have added so much new content that I felt it was only fair to reorganize the tags so that if you're a no-spoilers reader and want to just dive right in, feel free. Otherwise, I tried to group them from most intense or most signficant to least.
> 
> Am I working out shit I am dealing with in therapy? Yes. Yes, I am. You get to guess what it is. Or not, either way.
> 
> My deepest appreciation to Pablo Hidalgo for his fine works, 'The Star Wars Visual Dictionary' series, and everyone who contributes their time and efforts to the Wookiepedia.com Star Wars wiki, without which I would not have been able to bring you such rich and accurate details.
> 
> Also, for your enjoyment - as is my tradition, I have borrowed chapter names from 80's music, and this story is brought to you with song titles from the band "The Cars".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note to my readers:  
> This story follows the efforts of a character who finds herself “a stranger in a strange land.” In order to survive, she will be forced to learn the language of an unfamiliar place.  
> To enrich your experience and immerse you in the fear, frustration and ignorance created by language barriers, I have given you a point of view from each character in every other chapter in the early part of this story where the other one speaks a foreign language. In order to provide a mysterious dialogue that I could easily translate using available online tools, and in a nod to my favorite sci-fi comedy – Red Dwarf – I substituted Esperanto for the foreign language.  
> I hope this doesn’t create too much of a distraction for you, and please know that if you don’t understand the unknown words, that’s ok – I wrote the dialogue with that in mind. While you’re welcome to translate their conversations (try translate.google.com), what you’re really meant to understand is the point of view of the character hearing it; being unable to communicate, feeling lost and unsure how to respond.

Ryelle turned over in the wide, comfortable bed of Commander Kylo Ren, satisfied once again as the echoes of another planet-shattering orgasm thrummed through her loins.

“That was incredible,” she gushed. “You’re just too much.”

“Not so much you don’t keep coming back,” he whispered as he kissed her before rolling off the side of the bed to head for the refresher while Ryelle lay breathless, relishing what was her last visit with Kylo before starting out for the Department of Planetary Management. 

After the difficult mission she’d experienced with Ren on Daxam IV, she decided field work wasn’t for her and instead elected to follow her dreams after all - she was transferring to the DPM so she could work in archaeology, much to her father’s chagrin.

“But that’s just it, I won’t be coming back,” she shouted to him as he cleaned up. “I leave on Zhellday,” Livia informed him as he left the refresher and reached for his pants.

“Already?” he asked. “That’s… so soon. I won’t get to see you again before you go.”

“I know,” she replied wistfully as she stood and began dressing, “but I’m so excited about what I’m going to have a chance to see and do.”

Kylo sat down to strap his boots on. “I’m really happy for you, Ellie.”

“You are never going to stop calling me that, are you?” she asked, smiling at him.

“Nope,” he replied as he rose to embrace her. She was fumbling with her bra hooks, and he wrapped his arms around her back to tug playfully with her bra.

“Need some help with this?” he said softly, his lush lips nuzzling her ear.

“No, because your idea of help is taking it _off_ , I’m trying to put it back _on!_ ” she giggled.

“Alright, fine,” Kylo conceded, leaving her to compose herself as he strode to the kitchen where he poured them each another glass of Corellian wine.

When Ryelle was put back together, she joined Kylo, the two of them facing each other in the lounge next to the transparisteel window of Kylo’s quarters that looked over the rear thrusters.

“So, I hate to bring the evening to a close on a down note before I leave,” Ryelle said solemnly, “but I needed to let you know what I’d found out about that Lieutenant you were asking after,” she said, setting her glass down on the sleek black table between them. Ryelle’s job at the FOSB, while coming to an end, had afforded her access to the information Ren was seeking.

“Niela Sharva,” he replied, “from the medbay.”

“Right,” Ryelle said, “and I got word back a couple of days ago. I would have let you know earlier, but I wanted to do this face to face.”

Kylo’s face hardened as he prepared to receive bad news. He had his suspicions about what had happened to Niela and he didn’t know if he was ready to confirm them.

Ryelle rubbed her hands together, hesitating.

“Ellie, out with it, I want to know,” he encouraged her.

Ryelle swallowed and took a deep breath. “Kylo, she was executed.”

Kylo shuddered momentarily, his jaw tightening at the revelation.

“And there’s more. I’m sorry, this is really difficult,” Ryelle said, her voice tight. “The reason she was killed was most likely that she was pregnant... it was twins.”

Kylo inhaled and then tensed, holding in the reaction that was building inside of him as he recalled that twins ran in his family. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she replied. “I talked to a couple of my contacts in the medical department.”

Kylo was silent for several moments before he drained his glass and set it down, afraid he would crush it in his bare hands if he held it any longer.

“What happened?” he asked in hushed tones.

“Her roommate was keeping tabs on her, for one, and was telling anybody and everybody Niela’s business. For another, she had a test done in the lab to confirm the pregnancy and there was the inevitable gossip in the medbay. Eventually, the stories got around, and the information was relayed to the Supreme Leader. Word is, she was planning to run, but when Snoke found out about the two of you, about the babies, he didn’t want anything interfering with the relationship he was trying to build for you with-”

“I don’t want to discuss her,” Kylo interjected, looking down. Ryelle knew it was distressing to Kylo, remembering the woman who had given him the awful scars that caused him so much pain.

“When did it happen?” he asked.

“It was during the attack on Crait. He brought her to the throne room on the _Supremacy_...” Ryelle related to him softly. “And there’s one more thing.”

Ren raised his eyes to look at her.

“Hux was involved.”

“Of course, he was,” Kylo spat, rising to pace the length of the window as he gazed at the fleet and the stars beyond. He stood silent, the news taking time to process.

“She knew, the last time I saw her, I could tell she was hiding something from me but I didn’t know what and I didn’t press,” he said sadly. “I thought she was falling in love with me but I wasn’t in love with her so I ignored it, I figured she’d get over it. But I would have cared for her, I would have raised the children.”

“Maybe that’s what the Supreme Leader was afraid of. I’m sorry, Kylo, I really wish there had been a better outcome,” Ryelle replied, not knowing what else to say.

“My children. They would have been my first-born children,” Kylo grimaced, the import of what happened starting to unfold in his consciousness, and the repercussions enraged him. “He would take my own children from me for his purposes!”

Ryelle went to his side, trying to comfort him as she laid her head on his strong shoulder.

“I’m going to be Supreme Leader one day, Ryelle. Mark my words,” Kylo said, the rage in his voice thinly veiled as he surveyed the starfield outside the window.

“I believe you,” she said, smiling at him, “and you will make a fine leader. Just don’t forget me when you’re on the _Supremacy_ , ruling the galaxy.”

Kylo leaned down to kiss Ryelle one last time, their mouths locked together in a farewell of love and affection borne of hardship and trust.

“Goodbye, Kylo,” Ryelle said as she departed his quarters, the white of her FOSB jacket the last thing he saw.

With Ryelle’s departure, the momentousness of the fate of Lieutenant Sharva sunk in, and Kylo Ren, aspiring Supreme Leader, put his head in his hands and wept at his loss.


	2. I'm in Touch with Your World

Livia’s focus was riveted to the readout in front of her. For two long weeks, she’d been calibrating instrumentation on the International Space Station with her colleague, Dan, and although the work was routine and monotonous, the opportunity to be in space had been a dream fulfilled for the young astronaut.

In fact, she realized, this was all she’d had to look forward to for the last two years since the car bringing her husband home from work was crushed by a tractor trailer only a year into their marriage. His death had shaken Livia to her core and it had taken her months before she was able to return to work, but once she did, NASA had welcomed her with open arms and she’d thrown herself back into her projects, eager to fill her mind with something besides grief.

All her efforts had paid off. She was now working alongside her colleague Dan McMasters on the United States’ biggest upgrade to the equipment on their side of the facility since 2005, thanks to a fresh influx of funding. They were able to replace all of the old instrumentation, some of which was still using analog counters for heaven’s sake. She was grateful to be able to pull the ugly old numerical barrels out and replace them with sharp new digital readouts. Of course, she realized, it could have been worse – she heard the technology on the Russian side was even older than the Americans’, and they often received calls for assistance from their colleagues at Roscosmos when something broke down.

As she floated in the freefall of the capsule, Livia carefully measured the electronic readings to ensure the wiring was properly attached and the power was being correctly calibrated by the panels. There were no second chances up here, as attested to by the safety briefings she’d received before she could be cleared for the mission. They warned her of dangers such as hull breaches, airlock failures and pressure loss, just to name a few. It had given her pause, making her wonder if maybe she shouldn’t come on the mission after all, but she’d gone too far and worked too hard to quit now.

The shuttle flight up had been nerve-wracking, but she’d managed to make it through without puking in her flight suit and she was enjoying the time she’d spent here. She realized she’d be sorry to return planet-side as she took a long gaze out the small porthole-sized window while the station moved into Earth’s shadow, marveling at the change of light.

A bright flare suddenly caught Livia’s attention as sheets of blue-white light rushed past the window, making it appear as if the station was moving through a long, bright tunnel. Leaning her face against the glass, she craned her head from one side of the window to another to see if she could see where it was coming from. She wondered if it was a solar flare, but the station normally received advanced warning from Houston Mission Control for those. NASA always sent the station clear and early warnings of incidents such as solar incidents, spent rocket components, satellite parts or anything else large enough for them to track from the ground that could pose a threat to the station’s integrity.

“Dan!” Livia called out to the main module where the senior astronaut was manning the main array. “Dan, what is that?” she asked, trying to keep the panic from her voice and failing miserably.

“I dunno, Liv,” he said, his eyes scanning hard across the instrument panel. “Ground control didn’t send us any notifications of anything, so I don’t know what could be out there that’s causing this.”

Suddenly, the station shuddered and shifted as something heavy came in contact with it, and Livia pulled herself hand over hand into the capsule with Dan where they exchanged hard glances.

“We aren’t having a shuttle dock today, are we?” Livia asked, her voice tense.

“No,” Dan said darkly as he flipped the external cameras on at the port and starboard arms of the solar arrays, trying to see what could possibly be outside.

Dan squinted in confusion.

“I can’t see anything,” he said “looks like the cameras are down.”

“No, look Dan,” Livia pointed out as she looked over his shoulder, showing him where space was visible in the lower outer corners of the viewscreens with something in the middle between them, so close it was preventing the cameras from getting a look at it. “Something’s blocking the cameras, it looks like it’s over the _Destiny_ lab,” she surmised. Another shudder rocked the module in which they stood.

“ROS, this is USOS, do you read?” Dan called over to the Russians.

“Dah, USOS, vat is problem?” one of the cosmonauts replied. Livia recognized the voice as Misha’s. “Ve are hearing loud bang, dat is you?” he asked suspiciously. The peace between the Russians and Americans could be tenuous at times, and there were occasional moments of tension and mistrust between the two sides. This appeared to be one.

“No, Misha, that’s not us – can you tell what that is?” Dan asked, then aside to Livia, he whispered, “Contact Houston, will ya? Find out what the hell’s going on.”

Livia drifted quickly over to another comms panel and tried to signal to the Mission Control Center in Houston, swallowing down her panic, but she could see everything and anything that should be relaying signal between the I.S.S. and Houston was dead.

The communications relay crackled when Livia tried to dial in their control center. _Come on, Houston!_ she railed internally as she looked over at Dan who was shaking his head at her. They both startled as a banging noise came from overhead.

“Houston, come in, have you got a visual, over!” she began to lose her cool.

Livia’s blood curdled in her veins as she heard a shearing sound coming through the gangway between the command module and the Destiny lab.

“Dan, we need to shut the airlock!” Livia hollered as she scrambled over to the control panels where he stood.

But it was too late.

Hurtling into the lab were men in white plastic armor, wearing white helmets and sporting thick black rifles. They must have had magnetic boots, for they clamped onto the floors and easily marched into the main module where Dan and Livia had automatically raised their hands in surrender.

“Can you send a mayday call?” she whispered as they got closer.

“I tried,” he replied, “no signal.”

As the soldiers fanned out into the module, keeping the astronauts in their sights, they filled the space so completely the last two almost couldn’t squeeze in among their comrades, and the taller one definitely needed the room. He was all in black including a mask and a cloak that floated sinisterly around him, was well over six feet tall, and he looked like a linebacker, while the other had rich red hair, a hat sitting smartly atop his head, and a great black coat.

The invaders spoke unintelligibly to each other.

“Who are they?” Livia whispered to Dan.

“No idea, but they’re definitely not ours,” he responded tightly.

The one in the mask started directing the white soldiers around, pointing where he wanted them to go and using a language Livia didn’t recognize, but could have been Russian.

“Hey,” Dan barked as one of the soldiers headed for the habitation module. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Dan, shut up,” Livia hissed at him.

“No, dammit, I’m not going to be boarded without proper authorization–” and as Dan launched himself across the module to grab one of the soldiers’ arms, the astronaut was shot point blank by a rifle, a fiery bolt of light leaving the tip of the weapon and blowing a hole in Dan’s ribcage the size of a fist.

She screamed, covering her mouth with both hands before passing out…

~~~~~~

Livia woke in a brightly lit room, the ceiling high above her. She realized she was lying on the floor as if she’d fallen here. But she hadn’t fallen here, she thought as she replayed her memories. She’d fallen in the command module after watching Dan be murdered right in front of her eyes.

But where was she now? It was unfamiliar to her, stark and utilitarian. There was no instrumentation, no panels, not even a door from what she could see. She must be on the Russian side of the station, that was the only explanation. Somehow, they’d managed to bring a shuttle up without being detected, and then boarded the station. Maybe cloaking technology? She’d heard the Chinese were working on it…

No, wait. This couldn’t be the station. There was gravity! She was on the floor, not floating in freefall. Could she really have slept through re-entry? They must have drugged her, but she didn’t feel like she had been knocked out by chemicals. Trying to sit up, she looked down at her hands to discover she was locked in a weird, thick pair of manacles, and for a moment, excitement flooded her.

 _Not here, not now,_ she thought to herself as she tried to ignore the sudden erotic thrill. _There’s a time and place for feeling like that and this isn’t it._ Livia looked at the manacles, their design foreign to her, and she knew with certainty they weren’t toys, they were the real deal.

A panel the size of a door suddenly slid aside, and Livia scuttled backwards as the big black-clad leader entered the room while the red-haired man in a black uniform stood in the doorway behind him, a sarcastic look on his face.

She was able to get a better look at the masked man’s appearance this time as she stared up at him, observing the details of his helmet, the cape he was wearing, and his commanding-looking boots, and Livia noted he had very, _very_ large feet… she shook the thought from her head. _What am I doing thinking about that at a time like this?!_

He kneeled down to where she was sitting hunched against the wall, trying to make herself as small as possible. “Kiu vi estas?” he said to her, his voice firm and demanding, but she just stared at him as fear crawled up her spine. “Kio estas via nomo?” he spoke again, possibly the same phrase, she wasn’t sure.

“I don’t… I don’t know what you’re saying,” she responded. “Can I get an interpreter? I only speak English.”

The two men spoke to each other in what sounded like angry tones, as though they were arguing, but Livia could understand nothing they said. The red-haired one pointed at her and let loose a string of irate words as the masked one crossed his arms and said very little. Eventually the red-haired man exited the cell, leaving her alone with the man in the mask. 

She found this bizarre. How could you try taking over the International Space Station, taking Americans hostage, and not even speak enough English to communicate with them? She’d say this was amateur hour, but amateurs can’t afford a space shuttle.

“Vi diros al mi, kiu vi estas!” The masked man pointed his gloved finger at her and sounded stern as he spoke at her again but she held her hands up, appealing to him, her wrists straining against the manacles. She did not want to upset this man after watching what happened to Dan.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry, I don’t speak Russian,” she responded. “All I know is _dah, nyet, spasiba, privyet_ and _dos vedanya!”_

He looked down at her for several moments. “Vi eble ludos stulte, sed ĝi ne helpos vin!” he uttered before pivoting in his heavy boots and leaving the room, his cloak whirling behind him as the door shut with a heavy sound that filled her with dread.

Livia was at a loss. She didn’t know where she was, what was going on, who these people were or why they had taken her. She sat in the corner of the room, trying to reason out what to do and realizing she had nothing useful at her disposal. Taking a mental inventory of what she’d had on the station, she tried checking the pockets of her blue coveralls as best she could with shackled hands but found all her tools had been confiscated – even the laminated picture of her late husband she faithfully carried on her at all times was gone.

Considering what she knew of the Russians, she was just grateful she was still alive and hadn’t been tortured yet. Although the U.S. had a good surface relationship with them, the Cold War was still on in the hearts and minds of many in the post-Soviet government.

Hours went by, and Livia was becoming very uncomfortable. She was hungry and thirsty and she needed a bathroom, and soon, and she became concerned as she wondered how they might treat her. Would they withhold food and water? Would they torture her? Leave her in her own waste? She pushed the fearsome thoughts from her mind lest she panic. _It’s not time for that yet,_ she told herself.

~~~~~~

“You’re the one whose idea it was to bring her back here, you should be the one to interrogate her,” Kylo complained to Hux through his vocoder as they marched through the long hallway from Hux’s ready room back to the detention area later that day.

“But Ren, you have such a way with the women,” Hux derided his colleague, clasping his hands behind his back.

“At least one of us does,” Ren countered, eliciting a scowl from the general. 

They entered a lift together and Ren faced off with his nemesis. “I’m sick of doing your dirty work, Hux.”

Hux simply smiled at him. “Ah, dirty work for a dirty soul,” he taunted Ren.

Armitage’s words dug deep into Kylo’s heart, for he could not dispute that his soul was soiled with the death and destruction of countless beings.

“Careful, Hux,” Ren warned him as he stalked across the cab, cowing the officer. “You may not like how ‘dirty’ I can get.”

As the door opened, Ren departed the lift abruptly to head down the corridor leading to the woman’s cell. From there he would escort her to the interrogation chamber to carry out Snoke’s will.

When the door to her cell opened, he remained in the doorway and tried to get through to her again. “Come with me,” he said gruffly. She remained scrunched up on the floor staring at him, quivering with fear. He didn’t care if she was afraid, he just wanted her to comply.

“Come!” he repeated, pointing at the doorway. Ren wasn’t accustomed to people not jumping when he said to do something, but she acted like she had no idea what he wanted from her.

Reaching the end of his tolerance with her refusal to comply, Ren stomped across the small cell and grabbed her by the scruff of her coveralls, hauling her to her feet as a yelp escaped her lips.

“Bonvolu ne vundi min!” she implored him, trying to hold her hands out in surrender despite the fact that they were trapped in the manacles.

Ren ignored her pleas as he dragged her down the hallway, an iron grip on her bicep, his strong hand dragging her along as if she were light as a feather.

“Mi volas esti kondukita al la Usona ambasadejo, mi volas paroli kun la ambasadoro!” she demanded loudly, but Kylo simply ignored her as he continued forcefully escorting her.

As they travelled down the sleek black hallways, Kylo was oblivious of the troopers, officers and assorted personnel who stared at him. He was content to disregard them as long as they continued to hug the walls while he strode through their wake, heedless of their fear or concerns. He was content with the fact that none of them dare make eye contact with him.

Meanwhile, his captive seemed fascinated with the mechanical life on the ship and nearly tripped them both up as she tried to get a better look at one of the mouse robots, a smile crossing her face when she encountered one, making Ren think she was an imbecile. Later, as they passed a black astromech droid, she almost stopped dead and Ren rammed into her, pushing her ahead as she continued looking behind her. “Roboto!”

“Keep moving!” he yelled at her.

“Tio estas nekredebla!” she exclaimed, her eyes wide.

Finally, Ren dragged her to the level where the interrogation room was located, and as the doors slid aside, she panicked, as he feared she might. 

“Ne. Ne! NE!!” The woman began scrambling to get away from Ren as he held onto her manacles. She was unable to break free from his iron grip, so instead she dropped to the floor like a toddler having a tantrum, screaming at the top of her lungs as Ren dragged her toward the table. Her defiance was adding to his annoyance at having to deal with one more captive in this manner.

Coming to the end of his patience, Kylo used the Force to lift her bodily across the room and slam her against the table, manipulating the manacles to grab her ankles, locking them in place.

She looked terrified, tears beginning to fall down the sides of her face.

“Bonvolu,” she begged him, “ne faru ĉi tion! Mi diros al vi ĉion, kion vi volas, mi nur bezonas tradukiston, kiu parolas la anglan! Angla, ĉu vi ne komprenas! Mi estas usonano! Usono! USONO?”

A protocol droid joined Ren, right on schedule.

“I need you to speak with this woman,” Kylo Ren addressed the protocol droid.

“Of course, sir,” it responded, “what is it you would like for me to communicate to her?”

“I want her name,” he stated, “and I want to know where she’s from.”

“That should be simple enough,” the droid replied with confidence, turning to address the woman. “Young lady, what is your name?” the droid asked in Galactic Basic.

“Mi ne komprenas,” the woman replied.

“Oh, my,” the droid paused and then mimicked surprise, drawing his head back.

“What?” Ren demanded.

“I am afraid she speaks a language not contained in my databanks, sir,” the droid replied with disbelief.

“Try again, that’s not possible, she’s human. Or at least, she looks it,” he said, admiring her shapely curves that the coveralls did little to hide. “How many human languages can we have in this galaxy?” Ren demanded.

“I shall try again, sir,” it replied as it turned back to Livia. “Young lady, you must tell me who you are and where you come from,” it tried this time in High Galactic.

“Mi ne parolas la Rusan, mi parolas nur la Anglan,” she pleaded, her voice full of desperation. “Ĉu vi parolas la Anglan?”

“Oh, my,” the droid said again as Ren scowled. “This language is not in any way similar to anything for which I have been programmed, sir.”

Kylo took in the information the droid provided and dismissed it, calling for a different one, engaging in the exercise all over again, with Ren becoming more frustrated and pushing the woman to the verge of tears.

“Could she have a speech impediment or brain damage?” he asked the second droid.

“It is possible, but quite unlikely. She forms words and sentences with some sort of pattern to it, but not one I recognize. Her language could simply be an archaic form,” the translator replied. Ren dismissed the second protocol droid as well, and he stared at the woman, her eyes wide in fear and her limbs trembling in the restraints as so many before her.

Resigned, he did the only other thing he could to gain information. He approached her and unlocked the wrist manacles she’d been brought in, intending to transfer her hands up to the restraints attached to the table. Once she was loose, though, she began trying to gesture with her hands, though nothing she did was making any sense to him.

“I don’t understand you,” he barked at her as he wrangled her hands up into the restraints while she began screaming in terror, desperately trying to fight him. She scratched at his arms in her wild struggles, and Ren reached out with the Force to hold her down by her arms and throat, just enough to get her attention. She stared in fright as he put her in the arm clamps, struggling wildly. Ren stood back and allowed her to continue, hoping she’d wear herself out, which eventually she did.

“Permesu al mi iri!” she cried out.

Ren ignored her, instead leaning in towards the young woman while his hand reached out toward her temples, closing his eyes and prying into her mind to find anything of value as she squirmed and whined.

He could see she was afraid of what he would do to her – she pictured him as an ugly old man under his mask, molesting and torturing her. This made him snicker, her perceptions being so far-fetched, as he especially did not plan on hurting her since she had nothing that he specifically was trying to obtain, and he held no personal animosity toward her.

He delved further, seeing her with her colleagues on the station; her technical work there; the shuttle flight from her planet to the station; the offices on her planet where she worked and studied; the work that she was involved in; her small home on the backwards little planet full of antiquated vehicles and pathetic ‘technology;’ a man lying in an oblong box… the box was put in the ground and buried, it looked like a funeral; she was standing next to the box, very sad, as people greeted and hugged her; an adult male, the one he had seen in the box, alive and in a bed next to her as she slept; what looked like a bedroom, where she was wearing shackles of black leather; she was naked, kneeling on the floor, the man whipping her, and instead of fear, she is experiencing ecstasy from it…

She was screaming in Ren’s face now, but the mask shielded him. He looked up to see her sobbing, staring daggers at him, furious that he had thrust himself into her memories where she didn’t want him intruding.

“Kiel vi auxdacas!” she raged and spat at him, her saliva splattering against his visor. He reached out and backhanded her for her insolence, to which she gasped. Nobody spat on Kylo Ren without reprisal.

The strike had terminated her outburst immediately. In fact, Ren was shocked how quickly and completely she responded to his discipline of her and he was actually worried he’d struck her too hard, as she appeared listless and disoriented while she sighed, her eyes half-closed. Had he not known better, he’d have thought she was drugged.

He reached out to her mind again, this time to share in the condition she was experiencing. What he felt was shocking - she was _turned on_. The slap had raised a response in her of excitement and compliance as her mind perceived the threat, harm and anger as pleasure. She both wanted to obey him and to experience more as her body reacted to the physical punishment by releasing chemicals that translated into sexual stimulation.

He didn’t know what to think of her behavior as he’d never seen or heard of anything like it. Her head had limply dropped to the side and as Ren lifted her up by her hair, a look of bliss was now visible on her face.

Ren decided to test the theory.

He stepped close to her, holding her by her wrists underneath the restraints, gripping them tightly as he pressed the entire length of his body against hers where she lay helpless in the clutches of the interrogation table, his mask pressed firmly against her forehead as he leaned in and threatened her.

“You will tell me what I want to know, or I will hurt you,” he said, his voice full of animosity as he loomed over her.

The woman sobbed incoherently, afraid of the consequences of failing to answer him.

Ren stepped back and smacked her full force across the face with his gloved hand, the sound of the leather against her skin creating a loud *crack* that filled the small room as her head snapped to the side.

She gasped, and as Ren reached out in the Force, he detected that she was feeling a rush of excitement between her legs and a warmth spreading through her entire torso as her mind grew fuzzy with a bloom of euphoria.

He was stunned. Would anything he did to her make her willing to comply with his interrogations, or would it just make her a wet, hungry mess? He thought better of pursuing any further questioning as he felt he’d put her through enough for now. “Sleep,” he said, placing his hand on her temple, her consciousness slipping away…


	3. All Mixed Up

“And the two in the other module?” asked Ren through his vocoder as he took the final report offered to him by the technician who had been on the team investigating the errant space station.

“Appears to be suicide. They were found dead at their controls, foaming at the mouth,” Lieutenant Valry answered.

“They’d rather die than be taken…interesting,” Ren commented, tapping the datapad against his glove as he paced his day room. “What of the station itself?” asked Ren.

“Nothing more than space junk, really,” Valry ventured. “We can either dismantle it for resources or destroy it, sir.”

“Destroy it,” answered Ren. “I doubt it holds anything of value and if anyone comes looking for it, they’ll find nothing. We’ll leave no trace.”

“Very good, sir,” Valry saluted him, leaving Ren’s office to execute the order.

Ren scanned the information quickly, reading between the technical jargon to find what he was looking for: it was suspected that the space station that had suddenly appeared on their scopes had been transported to their location as a result of hyperspace wormhole activity. 

The station was a primitive vehicle from a wholly unknown system, and it was barely capable of space “flight,” if you could call it that. It didn’t possess antigrav technology, lightspeed capability or have any advanced navigational function. In fact, it was a miracle any of its occupants survived traveling inside of it; the station’s modules lacked sufficient shielding from solar and magnetic fields to keep the occupants safe from radiation, and it was well-known that prolonged exposure to freefall due to a lack of anti-grav caused blood clots, as well as atrophy of bone and muscle. It was simply barbaric. The level of courage it would have taken to climb into that death trap must have been monumental.

Ren tossed the datapad haphazardly against his desk, realizing the effort to take over the station had hardly been worth it, though he wondered at a race of people so brave but so foolhardy.

And yet, he thought of the woman, hands held out in supplication, pleading with Ren, her eyes full of tears. She certainly didn’t look very brave to him, but while he felt keeping the woman hardly seemed beneficial to the Order since her civilization was so far behind their own that she had nothing of value to offer, he was fascinated by her behavior; how his anger had turned her on, the way her body welcomed his violence.

However, he was sure the Supreme Leader would want to execute her and be done with it. When he thought of what Snoke would do to her, something nagged at the back of Kylo’s mind. He projected the inevitable; Snoke would want her executed, which reminded him of Niela, and how, through no fault of her own, the young medic who’d cared for him during his rehabilitation from his clash with the scavenger had been put to death on his account.

He didn’t see any reason this woman should also die. She hadn’t betrayed anyone, hadn’t attacked anyone or taken anything from the First Order. She’d merely been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Kylo had to find a way to save her, but it had to be in a way that Snoke would consider of value to the First Order.

Kylo knew if this woman was to die at his hands it would add a further layer of guilt to the growing mountain of consequences that giving his life over to the dark side had created for him. He remembered Niela, and what he’d lost; the twin babies that had been stolen from him, his successors, probably Force-users, and he felt cheated. He was angry, and he decided he would have restitution.

“Lieutenant Valry,” Ren called into the comm unit on his desk.

“Yes, Commander,” the man answered promptly.

“Transfer the prisoner to the guest quarters near my office,” Kylo requested into the comm unit.

“Right away, sir,” Valry answered.

Now to have a difficult conversation with Snoke.

~~~~~~

Ren’s plan was to find a way to convince Snoke to spare her. He couldn’t fathom allowing another young woman to be sacrificed literally on the throne of Snoke’s ambition should she prove to be of little significance to the First Order.

“She may yet be of some use to us,” Ren suggested to Snoke, “but quite frankly, until we are able to teach her the language, there’s little else we can discover beyond what I’ve been able to pry from her mind, which is extremely scattered. Eventually, we may be able to learn something from our visitor, and I would be especially interested to know about any Resistance activity on her world. Then, once we have gained all we can from her, I would like her to be put under my charge, as my companion.”

“Companion?” Snoke replied, curious at his apprentice’s suggestion.

Kylo looked up and stood at attention, his hands clasped in front of him, his eyes staring daggers into Snoke, standing up to his master with determination for the first time in their long relationship.

“Yes,” Ren confronted him with an unusual lack of fear, standing under Snoke’s scrutiny. “After all, I believe you owe me a debt in exchange for what you took from me.”

Snoke leaned forward on his throne, his eyes narrowing.

“To what are you referring, my young apprentice?” the elderly man snarled toward Kylo threateningly.

“The female medic… the mother of my _children,_ Supreme Leader,” Kylo replied, his voice deepening in anger, the secret of Niela’s death undermining Kylo’s respect for and trust in his master.

“And you feel you can keep the woman from interfering with your duties?” Snoke asked, ignoring the revelation that Kylo was aware the Supreme Leader had executed the young lady who had been pregnant by Kylo.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Ren responded, standing his ground. “I’m confident I can keep my feelings separate from my purpose.”

The Supreme Leader languorously tapped his steepled fingers together as he surveyed his young charge. Snoke was unaccustomed to being questioned by Ren but he was cornered, the truth of Sharva’s execution having met Kylo’s ears by some path of gossip. Accordingly, he could not deny this small request when the young warrior seemed willing to overlook the earlier transgression in exchange for what Snoke believed would be, in the end, a small favor.

“Very well,” he conceded after some time, “but the moment she becomes a distraction, you will rid yourself of her,” Snoke threatened, “or I will.”

“Of that I have no doubt, Supreme Leader,” Kylo responded tightly, keeping his demeanor calm lest Snoke see how much animosity he harbored toward his master as he departed the chamber to visit the captive who would serve as compensation for his recent heartbreak.

~~~~~~

“Wake up,” Kylo whispered, stroking his gloved hand down the arm of his female captive. She moaned slightly, shrugging herself away from his fingers.

 _I need to give her a name_ , Kylo thought to himself, _I can’t keep calling her ‘the woman’._

Looking down at her, he noticed for the first time that there was a patch on her uniform that contained what looked like lettering: “S A L I N S K Y.” He had no idea what it meant or even how to pronounce it because it clearly wasn't Aurebesh. It was situated under another patch that was made up of a blue square with small white dots spaced out evenly across it and situated in the corner of a field of red and white stripes. It must be some type of military insignia, Ren thought.

She sighed and rolled onto her side on the small bed, and Ren took the opportunity to observe her in detail for the first time. She had wavy, dusty blonde hair which had been pulled up in a small, round band, various strands of it having escaped and curled around her face. Her nose was long and slim, her pale cheeks dusted by a pink tint, and her lips were plump and parted as she breathed unevenly.

Her figure was slight. She was tall for a woman, coming up to Ren’s nose if he remembered correctly. Her breasts looked to be just a handful (which Ren couldn’t wait to determine personally), her waist narrow and her legs long. She was laid out on her side, her knee pulled up and her hip cocked forward, her buttocks rounded. Ren was tempted to reach out and stroke her plump backside, but then she rolled over, whispering to herself.

It was nonsensical, just gibberish he couldn’t understand. Ren had to find a way to communicate with her other than sifting through her thoughts and memories, and it would require her to learn Galactic Basic. He didn’t know how long it would take, but the sooner they started, the sooner he could begin to connect with her, and the sooner he could build a rapport with this strange and alien creature.

~~~~~~

“Can you help her learn Basic or not?” Ren, ensconced behind his mask, was challenging the instructor, a middle-aged woman he’d summoned from the education sector. She was vacillating as he questioned her and he was quickly losing his patience.

“I don’t know, sir,” Lieutenant Maranna advised the young commander. “I don’t normally teach adults.”

“Well, then you’ll find out, won’t you?” he asked tersely. “I’m going to have you reassigned to the young lady. You’ll instruct her daily. How many hours a day would you recommend?”

“It depends on how quickly you want her to speak Basic, and how intelligent she is,” she replied.

Ren was tapping his fingers on his black lacquer desk, his tolerance with the grammarian at an end since she seemed unable or unwilling to give him a straight answer.

“Fine,” he announced with annoyance, “eight hours a day, then.” he said, adding a notation to the calendar on his datapad.

She nodded in deference to the fearsome leader and managed a thin smile. “Very well, sir. I will begin tomorrow morning. Would you please make arrangements for my reassignment with the school?”

Ren nodded and dismissed her, setting the datapad down on his desk and going back to The Woman’s quarters to check on her.

The door slid open and he found the common room lights off, a low light coming from the bedroom. Ren found her lying in the bed, her back to the door, appearing to be asleep, but Ren could sense her and he could tell she was awake. He sat on the bed next to her back as he looked over her shoulder to see if her eyes were open.

“I’m bringing you a teacher tomorrow,” he said, and when he realized the vocoder made the words sound more threatening than they were, he decided to take his mask off. Besides, it was time he revealed himself to her.

Reaching behind his helmet for the levers that would release the locks, he pressed down, hearing the telltale _click-hiss_ of the tiny hydraulics that kept the headgear in place.

Noticing the noise, The Woman looked over her shoulder and her face widened in surprise. She moved quickly to sit upright, taking in his countenance for the first time. She didn’t appear to believe he was the same person inside of the helmet since she looked down at where he held it in his hands and then back up at him. It was then that Ren noticed her cheeks were flushed, and he could sense through the Force that she was having a visceral reaction to him – she found him attractive, and she was trying to hide her feelings.

The door toned then, a service droid bringing the food he’d ordered brought to her quarters. Setting his helmet down, Ren went to the door to receive the tray and brought it over to the small dining table set up in her room, motioning her to join him, a plate set for each of them. She was hesitant at first, but after sitting across from him at the sleek, round table, she reached out to carefully lift the lid on her plate and peered with confusion at what was on the dish.

There was a portion of Chandrilan squall tendermeat with fresh colla sauce, one of Ren’s favorites from when he was growing up on the dish’s namesake planet. She seemed suspicious of what it was and poked at it with her fork.

“It’s squall,” Ren advised her, knowing she couldn’t understand him but making the effort all the same. “You’ll like it.”

She looked at him askance.

“Squall,” he repeated, tapping the bird with his fork.

“Sqwawl?” she repeated, touching her own fowl with her fork.

“Yes, squall,” he confirmed.

She tapped her plate with her fork, wanting to educate him instead. “Telero,” she said.

“Plate,” Ren corrected her, so she repeated it back to him. “Plate.”

She pointed to herself. “Livia,” she said softly.

“Livia,” he acknowledged her, his face relaxing as he learned her name. Ren hesitated for a moment, then followed suit. “Kylo,” he said self-consciously, his palm spread against his chest.

“Ky-lo,” she said with a hint of wonder in her voice, the name one she’d never heard before. She reached her hand out to him as if asking him to give her something. “Estas bone koni vin, Ky-lo.”

“What are you looking for?” he said, his eyebrows knit in consternation, thinking she wanted something from him.

She put her outstretched hand in his opposite one and although he wanted to pull away, he decided to let her go through her exercise. What harm could she do to him, this small, primitive woman? She clasped his hand in hers and moved it up and down gently. What was she doing?

“Donu manon al mi,” she said, as if she was teaching him something, but then appeared confused and concerned. “Vi ne scias doni manon,” she said, as if discovering something, her face falling, asking him, “Vi ne estas Ruso, ĉu?”

“Eat your dinner, it’s getting cold,” Kylo advised her as she let go, pointing her attention back to her food.

Livia inspected her meal carefully, finally cutting into it and taking a tiny bite, seemingly suspicious of how it would taste. She appeared put off by the flavor, a small grimace passing over her face as she chewed and swallowed. However, she continued eating, finishing the entire dish. She also drained the glass of water he’d set in front of her and then looked at him, holding the empty glass out to him.

Ren reached out for it but she wouldn't allow him to pull the glass from her hand to fill it in the kitchenette. Instead, he walked over to the panels that enclosed the small kitchen facilities and slid them open to show her the sink and cooking facilities. Her face relaxed as she watched him refill his own glass from the sink, then following suit as Kylo showed her how to draw water from the sink and where all the supplies were.

Walking back over to the table, she looked behind the curtain covering the expanse of transparisteel window behind it. At first, she simply peered around the edge, but her jaw dropped when she saw what the curtain was concealing, and she ripped the curtain aside in a flourish as she dropped her glass and it shattered on the floor, water spilling everywhere.

He couldn’t understand the reason for her sudden upset.

Livia stood at the window with her hands over her mouth, moaning and mumbling to herself, a look of shock and terror on her face. 

Ren came around to set his hands on her shoulders. “What is it, Livia?” he asked softly.

“Ni ne estas sur la Terra! Ni ne estas sur la kosmostacio!” she exclaimed, her voice panicked. “Kie ni estas?! Kies ŝipoj estas tiuj?!?” She turned to Kylo and grasped at his jacket.

“Livia, it’s alright. I don’t know what’s upset you, but it’s just the fleet, we’re not under attack,” he said, trying to reassure her. He closed the curtain to shield her from having to see whatever was disturbing her. “Come here,” he said, enveloping her in an embrace.

She yelped as she noticed a small service droid scooting its way around the mess she’d made, sucking up the liquid and sweeping away the shards of glass at a rapid rate. She seemed overwhelmed by everything and held on to Kylo as she shook uncontrollably. “Kylo,” she said softly, her hands tightly gripping the fabric of his gambeson as she uttered the only word she knew that he could understand. 

“It’ll be alright, Livia,” he responded as he held her shivering body close, trying to provide her the only comfort he could. “It will get better, I promise,” he said in his deep baritone. He only hoped he could deliver on his commitment as he wondered if he’d taken on a bigger task than he could handle. Only time would tell.


	4. Getting Through

The only thing that kept running through Livia’s mind after she looked out the giant viewport and observed a fleet of spaceships was that she had gone mad. Either the grief from her late husband’s death had snuck up on her, or she had experienced some kind of brain injury on the station, but there could not be any possible way she was on a ship somewhere out in space with people she didn’t recognize.

But she didn’t think she was crazy. She, like every astronaut, had undergone intense physical and mental health screenings before being allowed to participate in the program. This meant she was clearly no longer on Earth. She didn’t think she was anywhere _near_ Earth. She was apparently on a spacecraft like one of those she had seen out the viewport window.

Regardless, it was all coming into focus for her: the laser-beam rifle that killed Dan, the weird manacles, the vessel she was on, the robots, all of it. Nobody here was Russian, after all. Instead, she was somehow amongst aliens; honest-to-goodness, not-of-this-earth, space beings, despite the fact that they looked human.

There had been theories proposed and quashed year after year throughout the space community on Earth regarding planets in the Milky Way galaxy that were potentially capable of supporting life, as well as the possibility of reasonable space travel being engineered in their lifetime, but there had been no signs of it so far. No communications from other worlds, nothing.

She needed to get home. She wasn’t prepared to deal with this level of weird.

She slept fitfully, her dreams full of visions of Dan with a hole through his chest, calling to her, of herself floating free in space unable to breathe.

~~~~~~

Kylo came back in the morning, waking her as he entered her bedroom carrying a large bin which he set on the floor next to her. In it were piles of black fabric.

“Mi alportis iujn vestaĵojn por vi,” Kylo said. He was without his mask and cloak today and appeared more relaxed.

Livia, still wearing her flight suit, swung her legs over the side of the bed and picked up a piece of fabric from the bin. It was a tank-style shirt, and there were several more like it beneath. Then leggings, but not the skinny-yoga-pants type, just slim pants that were cut for the inside of boots. There were several jackets and tunics that looked similar to Kylo’s as well, and on the bottom were some very strangely cut pieces of clothing that she took for underwear. She held them up, trying to figure out how to get them on, and Kylo’s face began to flush. She realized it must be making him uncomfortable, so she put them back underneath all the other pieces.

She appreciated the clothes and was eager to get cleaned up and changed into something warmer than what she was wearing because the environment of the ship was rather cold. It must be why everyone she saw was bundled up in such thick suits and uniforms like Kylo was, and she realized the environs of deep space must make for chilly temperatures onboard.

“Thank you,” she said as she smiled at him, not knowing if even the sentiment of what she was saying got through to him, 

“Thahnk yoo?” he repeated.

She didn’t know how to explain it to him, so she rose and took one of his hands in both of hers. He began to pull back against her, but she smiled at him, bending over his gloved hand and putting her forehead to his fingers in deference. “Thank you,” she repeated.

Livia believed he understood her body language as he placed his gloved hand against her cheek, brushing his thumb across her cheekbone and his face softened, a smile playing around his lips. 

It had felt awkward for her, and reminded her of the training she’d experienced as a submissive, the last person to whom she’d submitted being her late husband. Though Kylo was nothing to her, she felt beholden to him - he was feeding her, and now he was clothing her. She was reliant on him for her very survival now, and she knew it. 

She didn’t normally allow herself to submit to a man this easily, this quickly, but something about Kylo demanded it of her and she felt compelled. As their eyes met, the familiar feeling was rushing through her again like it hadn’t in years and she had to distract herself from her circumstances to fight it down.

She pointed at the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower now, okay?”

He stood facing her, waiting to see what she’d do.

She went into the bathroom and shut the door, latching it for privacy. Kylo seemed to want to be nicer to her as time had passed, but despite that, she hadn’t forgotten that he’d pried into her thoughts and backhanded her yesterday, so she wasn’t ready to trust him and she locked the door as a bit of insurance.

However, she was struggling to figure out the bathroom. She was in awe of the fact that they had developed anti-gravity technology, allowing water to be dispensed in space without it floating off and getting into everything.

As she tried to decipher the labels on the levers and knobs, she was becoming frustrated. She hadn’t found the sink to be that complicated when she’d used it last night, but the shower was. Finally, she gave up and opened the door to find Kylo sitting at the table with the curtain open.

He rushed to close it for her benefit, and she waved him into the bathroom with her. She pointed to the controls, hoping he’d understand what she wanted. He looked at her knowingly and began teaching her.

“Jen la _varma_ akvo,” he said slowly, pointing to the mark on the left; “jen la _malvarma_ akvo,” as he pointed to the right.

She pointed at the left and looked at him expectantly, hoping he’d repeat it.

“Varma,” he said.

Moving the right, she prompted him again.

“Malvarma.”

“Okay got it, varmuh, malvarmuh,” she said almost to herself. “Now I just need to figure out which is hot and which is cold.” She began pulling on the center knob to start the flow, but Kylo reached over her shoulder and flipped a lever instead, sending a cascade of water into the shower stall before turning and leaving her to her shower.

“Thank you,” she said again as he closed the door for her.

Livia managed to figure out the “varmuh” side dispensed hot water. She learned how to mix the two to get it just the right temperature, and she luxuriated in the generous volume of water the shower provided. She scrubbed herself with the odd-looking sponge and the wonderfully scented body wash that had been furnished, a sense of familiarity that the shower provided giving her some security. 

When she was finally dried off and dressed, she emerged from the bathroom in one of the outfits Kylo had provided her.

When he caught sight of her, his expression changed as if he was a bit startled, but he recovered and put his usual dour face back in place. He had set out some food on the table, apparently a sort of breakfast, and he leaned over to pull out a chair for her to sit with him and eat.

Kylo already had a mug of dark, steaming liquid and she wondered if it was something like coffee. Livia reached out to tap his mug, looking at him hopefully.

“Ho, vi volas iom da kaf,” he said, fetching another mug of the brew from the kitchenette and setting it in front of her.

Livia put her nose over it and inhaled the fragrance of the hot beverage and was pleased as she sipped at it and it tasted familiar. “Coffee!” she said, smiling.

“Kaf,” Ren corrected her.

“Kaf, okay.”

“Hoh-kay?” he asked, perplexed.

Livia nodded her head in explanation, “Yes, okay.”

“Hoh-kay,” Kylo said as he smirked at her.

The breakfast consisted of items that looked like breads, fruits, and a weird creamy liquid that resembled milk but had a blue cast, to which Livia made a face. She saw Kylo raise his eyebrows at her and worried he felt she was being ungrateful. She was afraid if he didn’t think she was thankful for the food, he’d stop feeding her, so she reached out and poured a glassful of the milky substance and drank it, smiling slightly at him while trying to gag down the liquid that reminded her of the sour taste of kefir. Ren himself drank only the kaf while he read the screen of what looked to Livia like a tablet. She took a couple of pieces of fruit and a portion of bread, and the two of them ate breakfast in silence. The curtain next to the table was once again closed, but Livia was curious and pulled the fabric aside, observing the variety of ships spread out in the space surrounding the window. There were many large, triangularly shaped ships, and much smaller ones that reminded Livia of Tinkertoys.

Livia’s daydreaming was interrupted by a droid that came over and began removing dishes and putting the food away. She was amazed by it all and she wished she could have expressed to Kylo what she was seeing through her eyes and how different it was from what she knew in her own world.

Just then there was a sound like a beep and Kylo went to open the door where an older woman was standing, dressed in one of the stiff uniforms she’d seen yesterday. She spoke to Kylo briefly after he’d let her into the room and Kylo seemed familiar with her. Livia thought she heard her name spoken and the woman then smiled at Livia, her hands crossed neatly over her skirt, an item that looked like a computer tablet in her hands.

Kylo came to Livia and said to her, “Vi estos bone, mi revenos poste,” as he departed, leaving her in the charge of the lady, but Livia’s gaze followed Kylo’s retreating figure, and she ran to catch him at the door before he exited, fearing he wouldn’t come back as he left her in the hands of someone new.

“Don’t go!” Livia pleaded, hanging onto his gloved hand.

Kylo sighed and pushed Livia back into the room, joining her hand to the older woman’s and patting it, trying to reassure her it was alright for her to be left alone with her new acquaintance.

The older woman appeared nervous to be alone with Livia, and for Livia, the feeling was mutual. The lady pulled her hand away from Livia’s and made a slight bow as she said, “Mi estas Leŭtenanto Maranna, kaj mi estas ĉi tie por instrui vin kiel paroli Bazan.”

Livia merely looked at her, no comprehension whatsoever on her face.

“Vi estas Livia?” the lady asked, Livia’s name sounding stilted in the woman’s mouth.

“I am Livia,” the young woman pointed to herself, confirming what the woman was saying to her.

“Tre bone, almenaŭ ni havas komencon,” the lady said, then pointed to herself. “Mi estas ‘Jinett’,” which Livia repeated.

Livia sat at the table where the lady indicated as a small computer screen was set in front of her. She began showing Livia pictures of objects with a word spelled out in strange lettering underneath and enunciating the words for her, having her repeat them. It became apparent to Livia that Jinett was here to teach her the language, and Kylo must have made the arrangements.

The only problem was that Livia didn’t recognize any of the pictures. They were objects with which she was unfamiliar, like fruit or tools or animals, and while she could make out the general difference between a fruit and a tool and an animal, she couldn’t distinguish one fruit from another. It was exhausting, and Livia was struggling to relate the words to the pictures.

What made things more complex was that the language the lady spoke wasn’t a romance language, so Livia was not hearing any familiar sounds or word forms such as “-zione” for Italian, or the French “-ienne.” None of it sounded like anything she’d ever heard before.

Livia’s lessons stretched from hours to days, all day, every day and Kylo would visit her many evenings, ordering a dinner brought for the two of them to her room, which she hadn’t been let out of since she’d arrived. But Kylo did not come to dinner every night, making for lonely evenings for Livia.

However, when he would finally return, Livia didn’t ask him where he’d been. She’d been raised by an Italian mother who had taught her to never ask a man where he was. “If a man wants you to know,” her mother advised her, “he’ll tell you. Better not to ask questions you don’t wanna hear the answers to!”

Livia was left alone when Miss Jinett or Kylo were not visiting with her, although there were still two guards stationed outside her door. Any time Livia tried to open the doors to leave, they would block the doorway, those awful rifles in hand.

She watched the fleet from the window most days, realizing the vessel she was on was traveling from one location to another. Some days a planet she didn’t recognize would be in view, another day it might be a moon, or even nothing at all, the void of space decorated with unfamiliar constellations.

The isolation, however, gave her a lot of time to think, though she made an effort to keep up with at least a minimal amount of exercise. Other times she tried to read the children’s books Miss Jinett had left her, stories of the First Order (which she assumed to be the people among whom she was held captive), reading like junior propaganda. There were stories of heroes and battles, and several books had mentioned the “Rebellion” and the “Resistance”, reminding Livia of the kinds of wars in third-world nations.

One day, Miss Jinett began teaching her out of a book that she thought might have shown a picture of Kylo, but when Livia got excited and pointed it out, the instructor quickly put it away before Livia could ask her anything about it.

Slowly, as the days went by, Livia began to grasp the language, and one evening when Commander Ren returned after an extended absence, removing his mask and dropping it tiredly on the sofa, Miss Jinett presented Livia to him and had her relate what she had learned.

“Go ahead, dear,” Miss Jinett nudged Livia’s elbow.

“I… I know how speak Bazic,” Livia said shyly.

“How _to_ speak Ba _sic_ ,” her instructor prompted her.

“How to speak Basic,” Livia copied her.

“And what else?” prompted Miss Jinett.

Livia nodded to Miss Jinett for reminding her. “Thank you Commander Ren for teach me language,” Livia said nervously.

“That’s good, Livia, you’re making progress,” Kylo said, a smile breaking across his face as he excitedly pulled a datapad from inside his jacket. “Now, tell me, where are you from?” he asked, displaying a constellational map of the galaxy. Livia took it from him, manipulating the map as she studied formation after formation, her face tightening in consternation.

“This our galaxy? I see no my _Earth_ ,” she said as she scrolled past nothing that she recognized.

“What is _Earth_?” Kylo asked.

“ _Terra_ , my planet, I see no.” she replied, looking scared.

Kylo took the datapad back from her, a look of concern crossing his visage.

Despite the fact that she hadn’t been able to find her world, Livia continued to work hard to learn how to communicate ideas all the same and eventually she could form short sentences. Several weeks later, after Kylo returned from another extended term, he found she was able to have her first true conversation with him over dinner.

“I know more Basic!” she announced to him excitedly the evening he returned.

“That’s good,” he acknowledged her excitement as he sat down to the first hot meal he’d had in days. “Tell me more.”

“Commander, what you are to do with me?” Livia asked him. 

“Do with you?” he asked, sounding confused as his fork speared through a particularly large piece of meat.

“What are your… um, what word is… ideas for me?” she asked, her face full of trepidation.

“Plans?” he volunteered as he chewed.

“Yes, plans,” she said, relieved he’d understood her, this being one of the most complex conversations they’d had so far.

He set his fork down, looking very serious as he addressed her, unable to reveal to her his true intentions as discussed with Supreme Leader Snoke. However, his demeanor made Livia nervous, nonetheless.

“Have you ever been edziĝinta?” he asked.

Livia shook her head. “I know not – edzigeenta?”

“Did you ever live with a man?” he replied, knowing the answer but wanting her to share the information voluntarily so he could broach the subject gently.

“Oh,” Livia answered, taken aback, sadness passing over her face as her green eyes shadowed. “I did. He... pass away.”

“Passed to where?” Kylo asked.

Livia shook her head. “Is a nice way say he die.”

Kylo nodded knowingly. “I’m sorry, Livia.” He hesitated before asking her the next question, clearing his throat in nervousness. “Would you like to have a man in your life again someday?” he asked carefully.

It was Livia’s turn to put her fork down. “I know not,” she replied.

“Do you ever get soleca?” he asked, leaning toward her.

“Solaykuh?” she asked.

“Sad, by yourself, alone,” he tried explaining.

 _Lonely,_ she thought for a moment. “Some days, yes,” she answered, then looked at him. “I think you lonely not. You have many people.”

Kylo sighed, disputing her observation. “No, in fact, I get very lonely,” he said, hesitating before reaching out for her hand. “I was hoping you would help me be less lonely.”

Livia looked down at her slender hand almost engulfed in Kylo’s strong one, his large thumb stroking her palm, the sensation sending a warm flush through her gut. She sat in stunned silence for a moment, letting his long, rough fingers play with hers. “Kylo, what I want is go home. I want not stay here.”

Kylo wanted to laugh at her stilted grammar, her failure to adapt to the contractions of the language, but the sadness communicated in her awkward sentences provoked his pity instead.

“Livia, I’m sorry. We can’t send you home. We don’t know exactly where you’re from, how you arrived here, how your ship travelled here.” He knew it would be a lost cause for him to try explaining wormhole activity to her, and even worse to reveal to her the likely scenario that she wasn’t even from this galaxy.

The news he gave her was devastating. “Are you say me I not to go home, I must stay to here all time?” she asked, sounding horribly disappointed.

“I’m afraid so,” he replied. Seeing how upset she was, he came around the table and knelt down next to her, taking her hands in his and leaning in close. He was so near, she could see the gold flecks in his rich brown eyes, the sprinkle of freckles across his cheeks, the rich stubble on his face evincing a high level of testosterone.

“I will do all I can to help you, to make you feel at home here, because I want you to be my _amanto_ ,” he said gently.

“I know not uhmonto,” she said, “what that is?”

Kylo struggled for a word she might recognize. “Friend… but more than a friend, um…” he searched for a way to express to her what he was envisioning, and his cheeks turned pink as he licked his lips uneasily.

“Oh,” she said in response. “Maybe I know.”

Kylo looked down at her hands held in his own, his palms turning sweaty, then let go of her.

“I have an early morning, I need my rest,” he said tightly as he retrieved his helmet and swept from her quarters with not a look backward.

Livia was sad thinking she had upset him and she sat at the dinner table alone, grappling with the circumstances fate had dealt her. She was lost, held captive on a ship in the unknown with no way to go home, barely able to understand the language and with a strange man who wanted to make her his… something… unsure what that might entail. She felt trapped, and though her emotions made her want to run screaming for an escape, her logic told her she was in no position to even begin thinking about that. What she needed to do was figure out how to play the hand she’d been dealt.


	5. Free

Sitting alone at dinner one night, Livia toyed with the food on her plate, pushing it around with the fork as she mulled things over in her mind. She thought about Kylo, and the First Order, and what must have been going through the minds of Mission Control when the space station disappeared off their scopes. Would they try to find her? Would they even know how?

Livia looked around her at the room she had essentially been kept prisoner in. It was spacious enough, the size of a typical Earth apartment and furnished satisfactorily. A droid came and took her laundry, a droid brought her meals, a droid cleaned the room, and Miss Jinett came faithfully every day to teach her Basic.

But her life was dictated by Kylo, and she was ready to change that.

The next day, Livia asked Miss Jinett to teach her the word for _free._

“What, dear?” she asked, taken aback.

Livia tried explaining the concept of freedom. “To be one’s own self, to be able to come and go as a person wants all on their own.”

“Oh!” Miss Jinett seemed extremely uncomfortable with what Livia was asking. “Well, my dear, I don’t think that’s something you need worry about right now-“

“Yes, it is,” Livia said with defiance edging her voice.

“Livia, you are being cared for admirably by the First Order when you could have been held in jail instead. I don’t know what more you could ask for,” Miss Jinett stated emphatically, appearing flustered as she gathered up the small datapads containing the storybooks that Livia had been reading.

“Miss Jinett,” she said firmly, commanding the instructor’s attention, “I want to be _senpaga_. I want to leave here and try to go back home.”

Lieutenant Maranna stood abruptly, her chin held high as she clutched the datapads in her arms, her patience with Livia at an end.

“Young lady, you belong with the First Order now. Commander Ren will not be setting you free – _this_ is your home now, and you’d best get used to it!” The older woman marched out of Livia’s quarters and past the troopers still stationed outside her room as the door shut with a sense of finality.

The next day, Jinett came and taught Livia as usual, acting as if nothing untoward had happened between them, so Livia went along with the farce as she studied verbs and conjugations, the grammar rules almost as complicated as English.

“Lieutenant Maranna,” Livia asked, having been taught to pronounce the instructor’s rank, “what is Kylo?”

“Kylo Ren is a commander,” the Lieutenant informed her.

“What does that mean?” Livia asked. “What does he do?”

“Do? Well, Commander Ren is a very _potenca_ officer. He is in charge of many people.”

“Potenca?” Livia asked for clarification.

“He is very able, many people do as he says,” the Lieutenant explained, writing out the word for _powerful_ in the Aurebesh alphabet so that Livia could learn it.

“But who is he?” Livia asked as she traced the letters. “What can you tell me about him?”

“About him? Oh, um,” the woman stammered, “you should probably ask him yourself, dear.”

“Don’t you know?” Livia asked her.

“Yes, but it’s best you two get to know each other on your own terms,” the Lieutenant doing a terrible job of obfuscating. Livia wondered what she was hiding.

Later that evening, she had a chance to ask Ren himself when he finally returned to visit with her after an extended absence.

“I learned the word for ‘commander’ today,” she said coyly as she passed Kylo some vegetables.

“Oh?” he replied. “What is a commander?” he asked, testing her.

“Lieutenant Maranna said you are very, um, power-ful,” Livia said, struggling to remember the word.

Kylo laughed a little. “She did, huh?”

“Kylo, I want to know more about you,” she asked him directly as they ate dinner. “Lieutenant Maranna acts like you are a big secret. I do not know if I said that correctly.”

“I get the idea,” he replied. “Look, Livia, my life is _komplika_.”

Livia shook her head, lacking comprehension.

“Hard, my life has many stories,” he explained almost with sadness as he looked down at his bare hands, themselves telling stories.

“I want you to tell me about your stories, I want to know more,” she said, her eyes pleading with him. “I am lonely, you are gone much and I have only Lieutenant Maranna to talk to.”

Livia reached across the table, taking one of his hands in hers, wondering at the scars and damage that had been inflicted on them and maybe inflicted by them.

Kylo held his fear and truth inside, wary that if she knew who he really was and how he became Kylo Ren, she would hate him like everyone else did. It was why he had explicitly forbidden Lieutenant Maranna from teaching Livia anything about him for the time being. But maybe this was the time to start, to teach her what _he_ wanted her to know, to lay out his truth now before she heard something else from another source. Better to have Kylo’s version of himself come straight out of his own mouth than have someone else make that first impression upon her and for Kylo to try to correct it.

“Very well, Livia,” he sighed. “I’ll have you brought to my chambers tomorrow and we’ll talk.”

~~~~~~

The next day, the two troopers stationed outside Livia’s room came to escort her to Kylo’s quarters.

She had gone out of her way to put her hair up in an attractive style to please him but she had no make-up, and she made a mental note to ask Kylo if he could find her some.

She walked between the troopers, unfettered, as they passed down several hallways, up a lift that moved so quickly it nearly made her sick, and down more, even darker hallways until they arrived at a pair of doors at the end of a very dark corridor.

Once there, one of the troopers reached out to touch a sensor pad and then stood back, waiting. The doors slid apart to reveal Kylo in a very plain black outfit.

“Leave us,” he commanded the troopers as he held a welcoming hand out to Livia, ushering her into his chambers. His arm guided her into the main room which was expansive but spartan and featured two low couches with a sleek, black table between them next to a large window overlooking the vacuum of space.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he saw her gaze travel to the vista beyond, standing behind her and watching the stars with her through the transparisteel pane.

“Yes,” she said smiling, “I am getting used to it.”

“Your hair,” he said softly, his finger lifting a tendril next to her ear and playing with it as desire surged in his loins, “it’s very… pretty,” he said, the word feeling unfamiliar in his mouth.

She blushed as her breath started coming faster. “Thank you,” she replied, her voice soft and fleeting.

“Please, sit,” he said, offering her a seat on one of the couches, eager to hide the discomfort he was experiencing. He sat opposite her, a pot of tea and two cups sitting upon the low table in the middle, illuminated by starlight from outside. It was the same table at which he’d had his last meeting with Ryelle, the same table where she’d delivered him such terrible news.

“So, where should I begin?” Kylo asked, trying to push the dreadful thoughts from his mind as he draped his arm over the back of the sofa, his one ankle resting on the opposite knee.

“Where did you grew up?” she asked as he poured them each a cup, the one he passed Livia looking miniscule in his large hand.

“Grow up?” he corrected her.

“Yes,” she said, feeling embarrassed. “Grow up.”

Kylo looked disconcerted and he took a deep breath. “I was born on a planet named Chandrila where I lived with my mother and father until I was ten years old. Then they sent me to my uncle so he could train me to be a _militisto._ ”

The word _warrior_ didn’t register with Livia, so Kylo tried again. “Fighter, soldier.”

She nodded in understanding, but he held back from telling her more about his Jedi training, about the Force, about his abilities. “After many years, I left my uncle and found some other warriors who needed my help, and we became friends. They’re still with me today,” he said.

“I can meet them?” she asked.

“Someday, yes,” he replied. “So, after a few more years, I...” he paused, unsure how to tell her this next part, though he’d been rehearsing in his mind for weeks exactly what he was going to tell her. “I met a powerful man who said he would help me.”

“Help you do what?” she asked, sipping at her tea.

Kylo hesitated for a moment. “He would help me get back at the people who hurt me over the years.”

“To have revenge?” she asked carefully.

“Yes,” he said, sounding surprised she was familiar with the term already, his eyebrows knitted together. “How did you learn that word?” he asked.

“A storybook Lieutenant Maranna gave me to, I read, it was about First Order,” Livia explained, “they will revenge the Resistance.”

Kylo muttered something under his breath. “So that is how I grew up, what about you?” he asked in return.

“I lived in city _Philadelphia_ , a country called _America_. I had a large family. I had my mother and father, three brothers, and grandparents lived with us. I went second school, then I went college on... um... they gave me money to go school because I was very good student,” she tried explaining, unsure if he understood.

“They gave you a _scholarship,_ ” he said, providing her the words which she repeated back to him. He could see that despite the lack of technology on her planet, she herself was bright and she was working extraordinarily hard to learn Basic.

“So, then I finish college and went more college, and when I finish I become a... ‘space person’? We have a special word, it is _astronaut_.”

Kylo laughed. “Why do you have a special word? Doesn’t everyone go into space? Do you all live on the planet all the time?” he asked incredulously.

“Yes,” she explained. “Only a few of us go to space yet. We only start going to space fifty years ago, we still are learning.”

Kylo’s face dropped. Primitive indeed.

“I see you are... scared?” she asked.

“No,” he replied, “ _surprised_. _Scared_ is when you have fear.”

“I see,” she said.

“Were _you_ scared?” Kylo asked. “I read the details of your ship, you could have died so easily.”

“Yes, I was scared,” she said looking down at her hands. “It was hard, but I wanted go.”

“You’re very brave,” he replied, but she didn’t comprehend. “Strong in here,” he said, patting his chest, to which she smiled.

“Kylo, I want ask you to something,” she ventured carefully. “How you use your mind to do things?”

 _There it is_ , he thought. The difficult conversation he wasn’t prepared to have about the Force.

“Maybe I can tell you another day,” he said, unable to meet her eyes.

“No,” she said adamantly, her hands gripping her knees and her face serious. “You will tell me now, please. I have waited many weeks ask you many ideas, and I want know many things.”

Kylo was shocked into silence. No one dared speak to him with such fervor except Hux, and he momentarily forgot she had no idea who he was, which had been a compelling reason he had decided to bring her into his life in the first place. If he reacted with her the way he did with everyone else, it would give proof to the perception of him as a tyrant.

“Livia, that is something I don’t think you are ready to know,” he finally answered her. “You have to give me more time. Ask me anything else,” responded as evenly as he could manage.

Livia’s lips drew into a pout, which Kylo actually found adorable, but he could sense she was feeling anything but.

“You are a sayer,” she replied angrily.

He couldn’t help but laugh at her, the strange accent she carried combined with her bizarre word usage a total mismatch to her irritation with him.

“What?!” she demanded, angry that he was not only keeping information from her, but he also wasn’t taking her seriously.

“I can’t help it,” he explained as he smiled at her. “You’re cute when you’re mad. _Sayer_ is not a word,” he explained to her. “What do you mean?” he asked, trying to be helpful.

“You say not true things!” she replied, folding her arms in front of her.

“Ah,” he said, understanding. “You mean I’m a _liar_.”

“Yes!” she exclaimed, jumping to her feet and stalking off toward the window to watch the twin suns breach the horizon of the planet they were orbiting.

Kylo came up behind her to rest his hands gently on her shoulders, the scent of her hair rising to his face, enticing him with its delicate fragrance.

“Livia, I’m afraid to tell you too much, too soon. I don’t want you to be _superforti_.” he said gently.

“What is _superforti_?” she asked, still facing away from him. 

“Overwhelmed, um, to give you too many facts and make you upset.” He could feel her relax underneath his hands, his concern deflating her anger.

“Soon you will tell me?” she asked, turning to look up at him.

“Yes, but you must _fidi_ me as to when that must be,” he said firmly as he took her hands in his.

“Fidi... believe?” she asked.

“Yes, but more than believe,” he replied, his face earnest. “Trust is to believe not just in what is being said, but in the person saying it as well. Do you trust me?” he asked, holding her in his arms but gently, so that she didn’t feel threatened or trapped.

Livia swallowed, considering his question. When he looked at her now, she thought she saw vulnerability in his eyes. _Did_ she trust him? He hadn’t hurt her since that first day, except that he was essentially holding her prisoner.

“Will you set me free?” she asked.

“Livia, I can’t set you free, there’s nowhere for you to go because we can’t take you back to your world,” he tried explaining to her but feeling his patience wearing thin. “You’re safe here, you have all you could need-”

“But freedom, no! You say like Lieutenant Maranna!” she protested, pulling away from him. “Kylo, where I come from freedom is very good,” she said, her voice raised. “My people fight many wars to get freedom and keep freedom. We die for freedom, it is all to us, it is big in our life. We go all over _Terra_ for it, we sing about it, we make words about it, we make pictures about it! It is everything to us, and one day you can make me free,” she said, the demand in her voice clear.

She reminded him of his mother, the freedom fighter, the rebel general, and it sickened him. Kylo crossed the short distance between them, his tolerance for her tirade at an end. He would not be dictated to by this slip of a girl, no less one as backward as she, and he grabbed Livia by both arms, holding her in his grip tightly this time.

“Let me tell you something, Livia. Your world is gone, your people are gone, and now you are amongst _my_ people,” he shouted. “You are nothing but a stupid little girl who can barely fly in space. You don’t tell me what to do, _I_ tell _you_ what to do!” He was now furious, shaking her in his grip as she tried to pull away from him, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Okay, maybe Kylo,” she began sobbing, “but you are big mean man, you care no about me!”

“That’s not true!” he shouted back as he let her go, feeling frustrated she could say that to him. He turned aside, trying to calm down. “You don’t know what I’ve done to have you here with me!” As soon as he said the words, he regretted them, not wanting Livia to know what he had bargained for the opportunity to have her near.

“What you have done?” she asked, relenting a bit as she wiped her tears on her sleeve.

“It’s not important,” he deflected, turning his back on her as he looked out the window, the suns having both cleared the planet and casting a long shadow of Kylo’s form across the room.

“If you want me trust to you, you must to tell truth,” she tried reasoning with him as she touched his elbow.

He looked down at her and let out a sigh, hesitating. “I have things I am made to do, Livia,” he explained. “I have someone _I_ have to obey, someone who tells _me_ what to do. I have to make that person happy, and they did not want me to keep you here. They wanted me to...” and here he paused, seeking the safest explanation, “to send you away.”

Livia believed him up until the last part where she could tell he was dissembling.

“Send me away?” she asked, challenging his earlier explanation. “Or hurt me? Kill me?” Kylo’s jaw twitched and she nodded. “What if they say hurt or kill me now?”

“He won’t,” Kylo tried reassuring her.

“What if _you_ say hurt or kill me?” she asked angrily.

Kylo was becoming irritated with her and he felt she was trying to taunt him into a conflict. He wouldn’t have it.

“Then you had best hope you don’t make me angry,” was his response, the rage in his voice barely restrained. He went to a control panel on his desk and pressed a button, the door sliding open and the two troopers coming inside.

“Take her back to her quarters,” Kylo instructed them as they guided her from his chamber.

Livia turned to look back at him as she left but he was already facing away from her and she felt she’d made a huge mistake in pushing Kylo as far as she had by picking a fight with him. As they proceeded down the hallway, she could hear crashing and exploding sounds coming from Kylo’s quarters, which frightened her. She was afraid Kylo would come after her and hurt her, and she could tell the troopers were afraid, too, because they picked up their pace, their faces locked forward, reluctant to look behind them.

She played her conversation with Kylo over in her mind the entire long walk back to her quarters, and though she didn’t like its outcome, she didn’t see a circumstance under which things could have gone any differently. However, she didn’t mean for things to go as badly as they had.

Livia, despite the years her late husband had groomed her to become his submissive, his slave, had often struggled with something he referred to as “topping from below.” David would accuse her of this when she gave the appearance of being compliant while also pursuing her own objectives or trying to control the situation. Just as she had tonight with Kylo.

Now, what if Kylo changed his mind and decided to listen to his boss and send her away or even kill her? For the first time, the realization was dawning on her just how powerless she was. Her entire life was at the mercy of Kylo’s will.

Likewise, Livia realized there was no other way out. She didn’t possess enough knowledge of the workings of the ship or its technology to try to escape, and even if she did, as Kylo had impressed upon her, there was nowhere to go – her planet, her solar system, her galaxy was long gone. The station may have been transported long distances through space or even time and she may as well accept that Earth was now just a memory and no longer a reality.

But what would her new reality look like?


	6. Hello Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention this was a slow burn?  
> I mean, like, Adam Driver on Saturday Night Live sloooowww.....  
> Hang in there. It's about to take off.

As Livia lay in the bath that night (‘night’ being relative to the ship’s clock, not the rotation of any nearby planet, she had learned), she again replayed her fight with Kylo.

Was she being unfair to him? _Should_ she trust him? Or was he just a big bully, keeping her prisoner and depriving her of her rights? Unfortunately, she was no longer in a position of having any rights, her American citizen’s rights evaporating the moment she’d left the confines of the space station.

She realized with resentment that the rules of life had changed; she was now dependent on Kylo for everything – food, shelter, clothing and more. She knew she had very little to work with, very few resources, and she was going to have to use everything at her disposal to make her life as comfortable as possible. She was going to take every advantage in helping herself in her new situation and through Kylo she would have to make everything happen. 

Maybe her only path in life now was to become an active member of the First Order. She thought about what kind of job she could do, how she could try to translate her skills into something useful aboard the vessel. Maybe Kylo would let her do that after her Basic improved…

Her door toned, and she couldn’t imagine who it was at this hour. She didn’t think it could be Kylo - he was probably still mad at her. She stepped from the tub, wrapping a large, fluffy towel around herself as she reached for the panel to open the door.

There, in spite of her assumptions, stood the Commander. His hair was damp and his face was sweaty, and he looked like he’d run the entire way to her quarters. At first, he appeared determined, as if he had a lot to say and couldn’t wait to say it, but then he spied her in the towel. Her hair was tied up in a bun with damp curls clinging to her slim neck, her skin flushed pink from the hot water, and he hesitated.

“Hello,” she said, genuinely surprised to see him.

He stepped into her quarters, the door sliding shut behind him.

“You and I need to have a talk,” he said, collecting himself.

“I think we talk early today?” Livia said gently, not wanting to provoke him.

“ _Earlier_ today, yes, we did.” he corrected her. “There were some things I didn’t get to say that you need to hear and I didn’t want to go to bed angry with you.”

“I can to dressed, please?” she asked respectfully, which did not go unnoticed by Kylo. 

“Yes, you can _get_ dressed,” he nodded, sitting down at the dining table to await her as she retreated back to the refresher.

She dressed in one of the tank shirts leaving off her bra, and for bottoms she put on only a pair of underwear. She didn’t normally walk around flaunting herself in front of men this way, but desperate times…

She saw from the look on his face that she completely disarmed him as she stepped from the refresher in only a tank top and panties, her skin chilled from leaving the bath and her nipples hard against the thin fabric of her shirt.

“Where are your clothes?” he gulped.

“I not wear them for bed,” she replied playfully, “this what I wear, I am getting ready to bed.”

“Ready _for_ bed. Go put some clothes on,” he ordered her, sounding irritated.

“Yes, sir,” she replied saucily, giving him a sidelong glance as she went into the bedroom to put on a tunic and pants, some of the clothes he’d originally given her.

“Sit down,” he said more gently after she was dressed.

Livia sat across from him, her feet propped up on the chair and her arms hugging her knees.

“So, what you are wanting talk about?” Livia asked.

“Livia,” Kylo began, “I have a very busy life, so I spend a lot of time alone. When you came to us, I thought maybe it would be good for me, and that I could be good for you. But, whatever happens, I need you to know that I will not hurt you. I will find a way for you to have a life and do things on your own.”

Kylo’s words reassured her, and she actually felt compassion for him as he sat before her baring his heart.

“Kylo, I am try be your friend, as you trust me,” she said, her grammar worsening the more tired she became, but Kylo understood what she meant; that she was trying to befriend him but couldn’t if he wouldn’t trust her.

“And I want you to trust me, also, Livia. I could have done any number of things to hurt you when we captured your ship, but I didn’t,” he said, defending himself. “I have protected you and taken care of you, and I think I’ve earned your trust.”

Livia rested her chin on her arms, considering his plea.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, the fear of her spurning him showing in his eyes.

She nodded slightly, and he sighed, not realizing he’d practically been holding his breath.

“Alright,” he nodded. “Tomorrow, I’ll send for you and you can visit with me again, and we’ll try to get to know each other a little more.”

He rose from the table and leaned over Livia before he left, planting a small, hesitant kiss on the top of her head as he stroked her cheek.

“Good night,” he said softly as he turned and disappeared behind the doors that _whooshed_ closed behind him, and Livia felt a part of her going with him when he left.

~~~~~~

The next day found Livia being escorted to Kylo’s quarters once more but she wasn’t sure if these were the same two troopers since there was no way to differentiate them.

“What I can call you?” she asked them in the lift. They both looked at her, then each other, then faced forward again, maintaining their silence. Livia found their conduct to be creepy.

As they approached Ren’s quarters, they began to slow, their trepidation apparent in their strides. To their surprise, Livia was the one to reach out and press the door signal after they hesitated and they again looked at each other.

Kylo answered the door in the same type of outfit he’d worn the day before, the same as Livia was wearing hers, and they sat back in the same spots on the couch.

“Do you not tired of wear same thing every day?” she asked, looking down at her own clothes. “I wear different clothes every day at Terra. Except of my job.”

“Except _for_ your job. We need to work on your prepositions,” he observed as he poured their tea. “But to answer your question, no,” he said stiffly, “I’m busy, I don’t have time to worry about my clothes.” Then he looked at her expression more closely. “Why, do you want some new clothes, some different ones?” he asked solicitously.

“Yes, please,” she replied, “and um, for my face,” she mimicked putting on lipstick.

“You want cosmetics?” he asked, a smile breaking across his features.

“Cos-met-ics,” she copied him, “yes, please,” she answered sweetly.

He sat watching her for a moment, thinking. “Would you like to go buy some things?” he offered. “Pick them out for yourself?”

“I can?” she asked in surprise.

“Not just yet,” he answered, “but soon. I’ll have to make the arrangements, see if Lieutenant Maranna can take you.”

“Why you not take me?” Livia inquired gently.

“Why _can’t_ I take you? Because I’m busy, I don’t go shopping. I have other people do it for me,” he said dismissively.

“You must be very big,” she said.

“Big?” he asked, confused. “You mean, important?”

She nodded.

“Well, what I _do_ is important, I don’t know how important _I_ am,” he said, thinking of how he seemed to be constantly disappointing the Supreme Leader. Changing the subject, he brought Livia’s past up again.

“So, you mentioned your husband died. What happened?” he asked gently.

“I tell you, but I can have my picture back?” she asked.

“What picture?” Kylo replied, genuinely confused.

“I had picture my husband in clothes when you take me. After I come here, it is gone,” she explained.

Kylo seemed disappointed to hear this. “I’ll ask around, see if the team who did the transport has your belongings.”

She nodded in appreciation. “We met school, he was very smart, very kind,” she described David, glossing over the Dominant-submissive relationship they’d engaged in. “We marry after school and he had good job, but his… ship, no, um, vehicle? A bigger vehicle hit it and he died.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Kylo said to her, gently fondling her fingers as she related her history. “How long were you married?”

“One year only,” she said.

“And how long ago did that happen?”

She was thinking to herself, trying to do the mental math to convert Earth months and years to the galactic calendar. “Two and one half years?”

“Two-and-a-half,” Kylo nodded, not only in understanding but in thinking to himself that the brevity of her former relationship would make it easier for him to get her to forget her late husband and refocus her affections on him. He would just need to go slow.

“Well,” he said gently, “I’m sorry that happened to you, Livia. I’m sure you were very sad to lose him.”

“Yes,” she said, looking down at her hands, her ring finger in particular. “I not can have my ring ever,” she said sadly.

Kylo looked at her, not understanding what she meant.

“On Terra, when we marry, we change rings and we wear it always to show we love each other,” she struggled with the translation. “I could not wear it on station, they made me to leave it at Terra. Now I never have it back,” she said, her voice full of disappointment.

“What was his name?” Kylo asked softly.

“David,” she replied, smiling. 

Though he was glad to see the expression of happiness on her face, a twinge of jealousy panged in his gut until he had an idea to distract her from thoughts of her past.

“Livia, you asked me how I do things with my mind, do you remember?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said.

“And when I first met you, do you remember what happened, how I tried to see into your mind, and I saw David?”

“Yes,” she replied, a look of apprehension crossing her face. “That not was kind.”

“That _was_ not kind, I know, I’m sorry,” he said. “Please know, I was trying to help you, I wasn’t trying to hurt you, but sometimes I see things and it hurts the person I’m trying to help.” 

Now Kylo knew this was an absolute lie – often, the very act of prying into his victims’ minds was part of the punishment, but it hadn’t necessarily been true in Livia’s case.

“That is a special power, a power I have become very strong with. It’s called the Force, and very few people can use it,” he explained. “It can be very dangerous or very helpful, but I will only try to use it to help you. I promise.”

She nodded with as much understanding as she had, not truly comprehending the nature of ‘The Force,’ but knowing that he was trying as best he could to explain how he was able to do such things.

“You can kill people with it?” she asked.

Kylo was becoming frustrated with her preoccupation with death. “Why are you always talking about killing people?” he asked.

“Where I from, people very afraid of die. We want live to forever, but we know we are not and we are afraid things of danger, can hurt us, can kill us,” she explained.

“Yes, well,” he said, “you’re not that different from most of the universe.” Rubbing his forehead, he tried to better explain the Force before she formed some very bizarre ideas. “The Force is a power that moves through everything. If you can learn to feel it, you can learn to control things in it. So, I can make this table move because it’s in the Force,” he said, placing his palm against the table between them. “I can speak to your mind because it’s in the Force-“

“You can fix people?” she asked. “They are in the Force. We all are in the Force, yes?”

“Fix people?” he asked.

“Broken people, broken body,” she tried clarifying as she leaned forward, eager to hear his answer.

“You mean heal people? Well, no,” he tried explaining, “I’ve heard stories of people who could heal with the Force, but that was a long time ago. Everything I learn takes training. Some powers have not been used in many thousands of years and the people who knew how to use them are gone, so there’s no way to learn them.”

She nodded in understanding, seeming disappointed.

“Is there something you need healed?” he asked.

“I- my body cannot make children,” she answered solemnly as she set down her teacup. “On Terra, we cannot heal that.”

Kylo realized this may have been the reason he saw only a husband and no children in her memories. However, it was welcome news to him, since once he started bedding her he wouldn’t have to worry about her being impregnated as Lieutenant Sharva was, that he wouldn’t have to deal with the heartbreaking consequences, though he would make sure she was given a physical to verify that before any such activity took place. He made a mental note to call the medbay and get her reports tomorrow.

“I’m sorry, no,” Kylo answered her. “That’s not something I can fix.”

She nodded knowingly, clasping her fingers in her lap.

The mood had shifted and Kylo felt awkward in the silence until Livia broke the stalemate.

“Kylo,” she began, “I want a job.”

He was stunned.

“You want a what?” he asked incredulously.

“A job, I want something do,” she replied.

“But you have something to do, you’re studying to learn Basic right now,” he answered.

“But that not much. If I had job I could use Basic talk at people and make better because I use it more,” she reasoned.

Kylo sat back and rubbed his face. “I don’t know, Livia.”

“I can do easy job at start,” she offered. “Cook, clean-”

“No, you don’t want to do that,” he said flatly, “besides, we have droids for that, people don’t do those jobs. Are there that many people who do those jobs on Terra?” he asked incredulously, hearing one more thing about her world that made him think of them as primitives.

“My mother do that job,” she said, feeling embarrassed but knowing she shouldn’t let Kylo make her feel that way. Her mother had worked hard to take care of their family, and cleaning houses was nothing to be ashamed of.

“Or maybe I go school again, and learn how fix things here, machine things at the ship?” she volunteered. “I fix things at the station, I was doing when you find me. I went school on Terra to be... what is word... a person knows things they work, how are made.”

“An engineer,” Kylo volunteered. He couldn’t seriously believe she was an engineer, not in any way that would be of any reasonable use to the First Order. “Why don’t you let me talk to a few people and see what would be best for you. Maybe they can give you an aptitude test and see where your strengths lie,” he suggested, trying to stall her.

“Okay,” she conceded, realizing she had probably pushed him about as far as she dared to for one day. “Thank you for bring me visit you,” she said as she smiled brightly at him. “More tea?” she offered.

“No, I have an assignment, I need to leave in a couple of hours,” he said dismissively, rising from his seat.

“I can come with you?” she asked hopefully.

Kylo chuckled, “No, absolutely not!”

“Why no?”

“Why _not_ ,” he corrected her. “Because it’s going to be very-” he stopped himself from saying ‘dangerous’, knowing he couldn’t share the details of his mission with her due to its classified nature. “Because it’ll be boring and you’ll just get in the way.”

“How long you are gone? You are see me when you are here again?” she asked.

“I don’t know, Livia, it will depend on how long it takes to complete the mission, and yes, I will come see you,” he volunteered. “In the meantime, I want you to keep working on your Basic.”

“Yes, sir,” she said sadly, and Kylo regretted she had to leave him. “Goodbye, Kylo,” she said, turning to leave.

“Wait, Livia,” Kylo said, catching up to her as she approached the door. “Give me a kiss goodbye? For ŝanco.”

“Ŝanco?” she asked as she turned back to him.

“Yes, it means good, um... good chances, good fortune,” he explained, holding her hands in his.

Her breath caught as she decided whether or not to kiss him. “Yes, I want you good luck your mission,” she finally whispered, tilting her head up as Kylo leaned down to gently place his plump, red lips on her soft, pink ones.

Kylo only pressed his mouth to hers, not seeking to intrude with his tongue just yet. He had reminded himself to go very slowly with her, but just the sensation of their lips touching filled him with a rush of lust he was unprepared for, to the point that he almost regretted asking her because he now felt an undeniable desire smouldering within him.

As they separated, she looked up at him, breathless, her cheeks tinged pink.

“Alright?” he asked her.

She merely nodded, unable to speak.

“Let me walk you back to your quarters,” he volunteered. As he opened the door, he dropped her hand, making Livia wonder if he was afraid for his men to see him holding hands with a woman, that maybe they would think he was soft and lose respect for him.

They walked in silence the entire way back to her quarters, the two troopers following at a respectable distance except when they rode in the lift together, the silence awkward.

When Kylo finally left her at her room, he bent over her hand and kissed her knuckles.

“I’ll see you soon, Livia,” he said before he turned back toward his own quarters while the troops remained behind on guard at her door, his strong strides taking him out of her sight more quickly than she was ready for.


	7. Everything You Say

“Go _to_ school,” Lieutenant Maranna recited.

“Go _to_ school,” Livia repeated.

“Go _to_ work.”

“Go _to_ work.”

“Now, how about ‘sleep’?”

“Go _to_ sleep,” Livia replied, bored with the exercises. “Lieutenant, why I am having to say all these?”

“Because Commander Ren is not happy with your progress,” she replied stiffly, as if she felt Livia had gotten her into trouble. “I need to correct some errors in your grammar. Now, let’s work on your subject-verb order. Just now, you said ‘Why I am.’ It should be ‘Why am I.’”

“I do not know, why are you?” Livia said jokingly.

“Young lady, I have better things to do than waste my time with a barbarian! Now pay attention!” the Lieutenant berated her, bringing Livia’s attention back to the datapad, sentences laid out across its surface.

Livia’s face fell. “What is _bar-barian_?” She knew it had to be an insult, she just didn’t know what it meant.

“Never you mind,” Maranna replied, “so it’s ‘Why am I.’ _‘I’_ is the subject of the verb _am."_

“Yes, ma’am,” Livia replied, feeling small. “ _Why am I._ ”

“Very good. Now, let’s work on your contractions,” Maranna suggested. “ _I am_ can be shortened to _I’m_. Unless you’re writing a formal letter or giving a speech, sentences can include contractions.” Livia nodded her head in understanding. “What would be the contraction for ‘you are’, Livia?”

“Y-you’re?” she asked.

“Very good,” the Lieutenant responded, pointing down at the datapad “and what about ‘he is’?”

Livia’s head perked up. “He is back!” she exclaimed, smiling as she rose to her feet.

“No, Livia, it’s- oh, my, he _is_ back! Greetings, Commander!” Lieutenant Maranna stood also, as Commander Ren entered Livia’s quarters, his helmet tucked under his arm.

“What is wrong, Kylo?” Livia asked, observing some bruises to Kylo’s face.

“ _What’s_ wrong,” he corrected her tiredly, dropping his helmet, battered and dusty, on the floor with a resounding _clang_ . “What’s _wrong_ is your grammar is still horrible,” he complained, turning on Lieutenant Maranna. “Didn’t you work with her while I was away? I’ve been gone a week, I would have expected to see much more improvement than this.”

“Commander,” the woman replied, “it’s been very difficult given her age.”

“I am trying Kylo, but she said I am a bar-barian. Does that mean I am not able to learn?” Livia asked him.

Kylo glared angrily at Lieutenant Maranna and the woman blanched as she hugged her datapad tightly to her chest. His jaw worked as his eyes tensed in anger.

“Did I say something wrong?” Livia asked, sensing the tension in the room.

“Livia, I’m going to be in my office next door. Stay here,” he said, quietly seething as he grasped the lieutenant by the arm and forcibly escorted her out of Livia’s quarters.

As the door closed behind them, Livia caught sight of Kylo’s forgotten helmet lying on the floor and she picked it up and placed it on the table, gazing at the abraded finish and stains, wondering what had made them, and she could smell the soft scent of his hair cleanser emanating from the lining.

Her musing was interrupted when she heard Kylo upbraiding Lieutenant Maranna in his office, and she could even hear loud noises as well. She hoped the Lieutenant would be okay. She hadn’t meant to get her teacher in trouble.

Suddenly, things went silent and Livia realized she’d been very tense. She set the helmet aside on the sofa where she sat next to it and tried to calm herself, but she found she was extremely nervous awaiting Kylo’s return. Several moments later, Kylo appeared in her doorway, his cloak removed and his face tense and sweaty over the bruises.

Without being prompted, Livia went to the kitchen to pour Kylo a glass of water and brought it to the table for him, where he sat and gratefully accepted it from her.

“Livia,” he said tersely, “don’t ever let anybody talk to you like that again, do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry I let her do that,” she apologized, thinking she’d brought it on herself, “I did not know it was not okay that she said I’m a barbarian.”

“There’s nothing for you to apologize – wait. Did you say ‘I’m’?” he asked in surprise.

“I – yes, I did,” she replied, smiling to herself.

“That’s good, it sounds like you’re making progress after all, I’m happy to hear that,” he said, gulping down half the glass.

“What is a barbar-ian, Kylo?” Livia asked as she sank into the chair across from him.

Kylo felt guilty. Although he’d never actually called Livia a barbarian to her face, he had in fact thought it, several times.

“It’s an ugly way of describing people who lack advanced culture,” he explained.

“Oh,” she said in understanding. “We have that term in Terra, too; _‘necivilizita’,_ ” she said, “for people who lived long ago and fought with sticks, did not have running water, things like that.”

“You get the idea,” Kylo nodded, finishing off the glass. Seeing he was very thirsty, Livia took it from him to refill it.

“I think your people, you see us as barbarian?” she asked softly as she stood next to him, setting the full glass back down.

Kylo didn’t want to lie to her, but he also didn’t want to hurt her feelings. “No, Livia,” he said, wrapping his arm around her waist. “I might have wondered when I first met you and we couldn’t communicate, but I know you’re a very clever and intelligent woman.”

She smiled down at him, looking relieved but then noticing his injuries again.

“What happened to your face?” she asked as she reached out to touch it gently. “Does it hurt, are you okay?”

“Don’t touch,” he reprimanded her, batting her hand away, “it’ll heal eventually.”

She wanted to ask him where he’d been that such a thing had happened to him, but she bit her tongue.

“I do not like see you are hurt,” she said, sitting down next to him again.

“Yeah, well, I don’t either, but sometimes things need to be taken care of,” he replied, sighing.

“I’m glad you came to see me, but you look very tired,” she said. “Do you want to go your room and rest? I will understand.”

Kylo looked relieved. “Actually, yes, thank you, Livia. I’ll come see you again tomorrow, alright? After I find you a new teacher,” he said, pulling his exhausted body to a standing position.

“New teacher?” Livia asked.

“Lieutenant Maranna won’t be instructing you anymore,” he responded brusquely.

“Okay,” Livia answered, wanting to ask him a dozen questions but feeling none of them would benefit her and would probably only enrage Kylo. “Sleep well,” she said.

Kylo put a small kiss on the edge of her forehead before exiting her quarters. “You too, my little barbarian,” he said, winking as the door shut. Livia smiled to herself at his teasing and wondered who Kylo would bring to teach her Basic now.

~~~~~~

“Captain Halowin,” the man introduced himself after ringing Livia’s door. “I am here to see Miss Livia.” He was an overweight, stiff-looking man, his face square with gray eyes to match the hair at his temples.

“I am Livia,” she replied, stepping aside to allow the rotund officer into her room. “Are you my new teacher?” she asked, not completely happy with Kylo’s choice for her, as he appeared very serious, but maybe that’s what Kylo wanted for her.

“I understand your last instructor was Lieutenant Maranna,” the middle-aged man said, his dictation even more pronounced than the Lieutenant’s.

“Yes, sir,” Livia replied, her hands folded neatly on her dining table. “Would you like a cup of tea?” she said, indicating the steeping pot in front of her.

“No, thank you,” he replied stiffly. “Now, before we get started, I’m going to give you a brief assessment to determine the level of your language skills.”

“I do not know all of what you said to me, but okay,” she replied.

“Hokay?”

“Oh, here we go again,” Livia mumbled, “it means, ‘yes’, ‘alright’.”

“Please strike that word from your vocabulary, young lady,” the officer admonished her.

The captain laid out a datapad and the screen lit up with row upon row of vocabulary words, sentence completion questions, multiple choice and the like. Many of the words she thought she knew or were very similar to other words, but in the end Livia’s score did not impress the captain.

“ _Terure_ ,” he replied.

“What means, ‘ _terure_ ,’ Captain?” Livia asked.

“Atrocious, terrible,” he replied, looking down his nose at her as he pulled up more screens on his datapad.

“I think I see,” she said softly, placing her hands on the table. “Do you know what happened to Lieutenant Maranna?” Livia asked.

“I believe you weren’t making satisfactory progress, so Commander Ren selected me to replace her,” he replied stiffly.

“Oh, that is sad. I thought we make good learning, but yesterday she called me bar-barian and then the Commander, he yelled at her,” Livia replied.

“Did he?” the captain responded, turning pale.

“Yes, he was very angry with her,” she said.

The captain swallowed visibly.

“Are you sure you do not want some tea, Captain?” Livia asked solicitously. “Or a glass of water?”

“Yes, some water would be very nice, thank you,” he said shakily. Livia was starting to see something she wasn’t at all sure she liked. If a man Captain Halowin’s age and competence was afraid of being reprimanded by Kylo, she wondered if she shouldn’t be more afraid of him, too.

The captain spent the rest of the day adjusting to Livia’s level of learning, making a plan to fill in the holes in her knowledge where necessary and to wrap up lessons that had not yet been pursued to completion, such as her use of contractions.

“’Do not’?” he asked her.

“’Don’t’,” Livia responded.

“Yes. Now, ‘Can not’?” he prompted her again.

“’Can’t’,” she answered confidently.

“Very good, Livia, I think that’s enough for today,” the captain announced, nodding to her as he packed up his things. “I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Captain,” she answered, walking him out.

After the captain left, Livia thought over the incidents she’d observed since she’d been brought on board; Lieutenant Maranna’s refusal to tell her anything about Kylo, the fight Livia had with him, the hollering she’d overheard from his office, and then the captain’s reaction to Kylo’s termination of Lieutenant Maranna’s position. He seemed especially upset by that revelation and it rattled Livia. What could make a grown man pale at the news of a colleague being fired?

Later that night, she decided to ask Kylo when he appeared for dinner. His bruises actually looked worse than the day before and Livia was worried about him, though he at least seemed more rested.

“How you are feeling today?” she asked gently. She remembered how irritated he was by her fussing over him before, so she didn’t try to touch him today.

“How _am_ I feeling? I’m fine,” he replied quietly, sitting down to the hot meal the droids had delivered just prior to his arrival. “How’s your new teacher?” he asked.

“He works hard with me,” she said and then hesitated before adding, “but he looks afraid.” She looked Kylo in the eye when she said it, looking for a response.

“He should be,” Kylo said carelessly as he shoved a forkful of vegetables into his mouth, gulping them down. “If he fucks up like Maranna did, he’s going to wind up the same way,” he said thoughtlessly, then caught himself as he realized what he’d let slip in his fatigue.

“What way is that?” Livia asked softly, though she had her suspicions already. “And what means _fuck_?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kylo dissembled. “Eat your dinner,” he said firmly, pointing at her plate with his fork before stabbing his steak and tearing at it with the sharp knife in his other hand.

“Yes, sir,” she said demurely, nibbling at the food on her plate. The tension in the room was heavy, and Livia had a hard time eating.

Watching her, Kylo became irritated. “Are you going to eat it or play with it?” he demanded angrily.

She fought down the urge to reply in kind and instead answered him respectfully. “I’ll eat it, sir,” she said, cutting her food up in normal size bites and choking them down as best she could.

“You know, Livia,” he exploded suddenly, his voice irate as he shoved himself back from the table, “I’ve put a lot of effort into giving you a nice place to live, clothing, food, lessons, everything, and you do nothing but give me aggravation! You could have just obeyed your instructor, stuck to your lessons, and everything would have been fine!”

“I’m sorry, sir,” she replied gently as she put down her utensils, not feeling he was owed an apology but giving him one in an effort to keep the peace all the same.

“You should be!” he continued railing at her as he stood and began pacing the floor. His face was becoming flushed and she was afraid the scene that had played out in his office yesterday was about to play out again in her quarters. “You’re a selfish little _hundino_!” he shouted at her.

“I’m sorry,” she responded, not knowing what _hundino_ was but suspecting it was something like ‘bitch’. Her appeasement seemed to blunt his anger a bit, especially when Livia, leaning on the training she’d been given as a submissive, swallowed her pride and knelt near his chair, her head bowed. “Thank you for all you've given me, Kylo.”

His rage abated and he went back to the table, plopping down in front of his unfinished dinner plate. He extended his hand down to Livia, humbled by her attitude toward him as he pulled her to her feet.

“Come here,” he said.

Livia rose and stood in front of him.

“Sit,” he said, patting his leg. Livia almost laughed – she hadn’t sat in anyone’s lap since she was a little girl. She thought maybe she wouldn’t fit, but when she considered how big Kylo was, she got over her reservations.

“I’m sorry, Livia,” he said softly as he rubbed her back. “Things on my mission went… badly.” Kylo’s thoughts harkened back to his pursuit of the Resistance fighters, the loss of the information he was seeking, and the battle he’d barely escaped with his life when his comrades had been badly injured which left him outnumbered. However, he couldn’t tell Livia about that. It wasn’t time to tell her his business yet, and he didn’t want to worry her.

“I knew, you have been unhappy until you came back,” she said.

“ _Since_ I came back. I’ll be fine in a couple of days,” he tried reassuring her. “Just give me some time.”

Livia nodded her head. “Are there things I can do to help you?”

“No,” he shook his head, “just keep up with your studies and do what your teacher tells you.”

“Yes, sir,” she answered him.

“Now come here,” he told her, “I need you.” Kylo gathered her close to him, trying to favor his wounds and bruises as he leaned her in against him. As he did, the comfort brought him a sense of relief that almost made him cry, and he had to fight to keep his composure.

He felt self-conscious after a couple of minutes and patted her backside to shoo her off of him.

“Alright, bedtime for both of us,” he said, standing up and putting his dish in the sink.

Livia wasn’t sure what to say, if anything, but Kylo made the decision for her when he leaned over to kiss her forehead and left her quarters without another word, his face looking grim.

~~~~~~

Vicrul was waiting outside Kylo’s quarters when the commander approached. He noted how serious Ren looked.

“How’s our little barbarian today?” the warrior joked.

“Ugh,” Ren huffed as slid his quarters’ doors aside, “don’t mention that word again. I almost killed her instructor for calling her that to her face. Livia’s the least of my worries today.”

“Sorry I asked,” Vicrul replied, following his leader inside.

Kylo discarded his cloak, draping it across the back of a chair as he sank down hard on the sofa, putting his face in his hands. Vicrul sat as well, setting his helmet down next to himself as he reclined across from Kylo.

“I swear, this gets harder every year, not easier” Ren complained as he looked up at Vicrul. “We’re supposed to be fighting to gain stability over the galaxy, not lose it. I thought that last mission was going to be my undoing.”

“Yeah,” Vicrul commiserated, “I didn’t think we were going to make it. Ap’lek’s still in the medbay.”

“How is he?” Kylo asked, concerned. “I feel bad, I’ve been too busy to go see him.”

Vicrul tilted his head and shrugged. “Eh, he’s a tough fucker, enough bacta and he’ll probably be back at it next week.”

Kylo nodded appreciatively, dreading the thought of losing even one of his comrades.

“So where do we stand?” Vicrul asked.

Kylo sat back, rubbing his shoulder. It had been bothering him since it was nearly yanked out of its socket during their recent incursion. “Hux has been giving me nothing but trouble in the recon meetings,” Kylo complained.

“Of course,” Vicrul piped in.

“And Supreme Leader is livid. It’s like he thinks you just turn up and everything falls into place. I don’t know much about his field experience, but I bet it’s short.”

“Everything always looks easier from the comfort of a command post,” Vicrul agreed.

“So, there’s supposed to be more intel coming in about an hour from now,” Kylo related. “If it’s what we think it is, we’ll be moving out later tonight, so get some rest and then get the team rounded up, I’ll be in touch.”

“You got it,” Vicrul agreed as he stood and headed for the door. “Hey, Kylo,” he called back over his shoulder.

“Yeah?” the Commander asked.

“Don’t let that little girl get to you,” the older man advised him. “It’ll fuck you up in the field,” he said before donning his helmet.

Kylo nodded as the door slid shut behind Vicrul. He sat back, thinking about his earlier conversation with Livia.

It _was_ starting to fuck with him. He’d choked her instructor when he’d found out the old biddy had insulted her student. Nobody would be allowed to talk to Livia that way, especially not some dour, useless bureaucrat, and that’s all she was to Kylo, especially since her ability to teach Livia to speak Basic seemed to be limited to a grammar school education. Livia was worth more than that, and she needed to know that if someone tried to hurt her, tried to hurt what belonged to him, that he would take whatever steps were necessary to protect his own, even to the point of death.

For now, Kylo went into his inner chamber to meditate since he wouldn’t have time to sleep tonight. There were more people out there in the galaxy who didn’t know their place, and Kylo’s job was to go out there and let them know exactly where they belonged.


	8. Running to You

“The escape routes are probably going to be here and here,” Captain Phasma indicated on the digital display map the team was studying in advance of the next incursion.

“What do you mean, ‘probably’? I don’t send my team into ‘probably’!” Kylo railed at her and then turned on Hux. “I thought you said you had good intel, this is hearsay. I could get better intel down at the local bar!”

“Then I suggest you do it, Ren!” Hux snapped back at him. “ _My_ men have the courage to go in there based on this information, should I offer them as replacements?”

Vicrul took exception to Hux’s comment and stepped forward, cracking his knuckles together just to watch Hux shrink back.

“I know what you’re willing to send your men into, Hux,” Kylo sneered at him. “And me as well.”

Kylo’s reference to their last mission put Hux on the defensive. The general knew Ren suspected he had sent the ground assault into an ambush.

“There is no way we could have known they would have help from the locals,” Hux argued.

“Gentlemen, if we’re ready to develop a plan of attack?” Phasma interrupted them.

Kylo, ever ready to fulfill his duty to the Supreme Leader, shook off the friction with Hux to discuss logistics with Phasma, laying out a stratagem to root out the Resistance on Ajan Kloss. When they felt they had the best possible approach, Kylo directed his shuttle crew to meet him at the appointed time.

As he stood in the hangar, thoughts of Livia surfaced, and he considered going up to her quarters to say goodbye since she didn’t know he was departing tonight. Kylo was unsure how long he’d be deployed on this mission and he didn’t like leaving without letting her know.

“You alright, Commander?” Cardo asked as he traipsed by Kylo, adjusting his grenades as he headed for the Night Buzzard.

With Vicrul’s words echoing in his ears, Kylo pushed Livia from his head and readied his mind for battle. “Yes, let’s go,” Kylo replied, stalking toward his shuttle where the landing party was assembled.

~~~~~~

It wasn’t like Kylo to disappear on her for days on end when he hadn’t said goodbye first. Maybe there had been an emergency? Or maybe he was still upset with her and he was punishing her? Thoughts of what could have happened to Kylo nagged at Livia, making it difficult for her to focus on her lessons.

Today’s lesson involved a series of definitions to which Livia was to provide the words which represented them.

“Organization,” she answered Captain Halowin.

“No, the answer is ‘association,’ try again. What about this one?” he prompted her.

“Cooperation?” she guessed.

“Yes, very good,” he replied. “One more, what about this?”

Livia looked at the word. “Punishment,” she said.

“Close,” he replied, “it’s ‘discipline’. This is a very important word in the First Order, we must have discipline.”

“Is ‘discipline’ both a noun and a verb?” she asked. “It is on my world.”

“Yes, so that may be why you confused the two. You can discipline someone, but you can also _have_ discipline as a person. Both are essential to the First Order.”

Livia saw her opportunity try to get information out of Captain Halowin.

“What kind of discipline?” she asked.

“What?” the Captain replied.

“What kind of discipline does the First Order give?” she questioned him.

“Well, it depends on the offense,” he answered.

“If someone steals?” she asked.

“They would likely be stripped of their commission and expelled from the ranks,” he replied.

“What if they did not obey an order, like from a General or someone like that?”

“A court martial may be in order,” he answered solemnly.

“And what if it was Commander Ren?” she asked.

The Captain turned serious. “Young lady, I think it best you not ask questions about things which do not concern you,” he said as he closed the datapad.

“Captain, wait. I need to know. What is going on with Commander Ren? Are people afraid of him? Why?” she pleaded with him.

“I’ve heard you are not from our galaxy, Miss Livia, so I will excuse your ignorance where our culture is concerned,” he said stiffly. “Now, there’s something else we need to do today.”

Captain Halowin put another datapad in front of Livia, this one larger.

“Commander Ren would like me to have you evaluated for vocational aptitude,” the captain announced to her, opening the screen and pulling up a page for her to read.

“Just do your best,” the captain prompted her, sounding none too hopeful.

But Livia was relieved - here was something she could finally understand. There were mechanical layouts and mathematical computations, and now that she had enough Aurebesh under her belt to decipher numbers, she had no problem figuring out the problems, finishing the assessment far sooner than Captain Halowin expected.

“Very good, Livia,” the captain announced, fascinated at her score as he packed up his things, eager to provide the results to Commander Ren. “I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

Left alone once more, Livia considered the Captain’s responses regarding Kylo which left her more confused than before. Was he defending Kylo, or was he shielding her from knowing about him? She had to find out more. She was coming to realize, there was information everyone was obscuring from her and she had to get to the bottom of the mystery surrounding her captor.

~~~~~~

It had now been two weeks since Livia had seen Kylo, and she decided she had to take action. The next time her instructor came, she confronted him.

“Captain Halowin, I must know where is Kylo, it is very important.”

He sighed at her grammatical errors. “ _Where Kylo is - it’s_ very important,” he reminded. “Now, what is so important?”

“He has never left me this long, and he did not say - didn’t say - goodbye before he left.”

“Commander Ren is a very important and very busy man, he doesn’t have time to _malfrui_ with young ladies,” the Captain advised her.

“What is _malfrui_?” she asked.

“Waste time,” he explained, sounding exasperated.

“I am not a waste time!” Livia said, sounding indignant. “I am important to him!”

“I’m sure you are,” the Captain said, patronizing her. “Now, let us get to your lesson.”

“No,” Livia replied, digging in her heels. “I will not - I won’t do my lessons until I see Commander Ren!”

Captain Halowin looked perplexed, as if no one had ever defied him before and he seemed unsure what to do. He thought maybe the logical thing would be to report her misbehavior to Commander Ren as he’d been instructed, but that seemed to be capitulating to Livia at the same time. He thought about what the commander would want.

“Very well, but you will remain here,” he said. “I will go speak with Commander Ren and then we’ll see what he has to say.”

The Captain’s response gave her pause. She was afraid if she made Kylo angry by demanding he come to her, she would regret it, but at the same time, she felt sure that something was wrong.

“Fine,” Livia replied, crossing her arms over her chest in irritation.

The Captain was gone for nearly an hour, and when he returned, his face was solemn.

“What is wrong?” she asked the captain.

“Livia, sit down,” he advised her. She took a seat on her small sofa and leaned forward, eager for news.

The Captain folded his hands in front of his large abdomen and cleared his throat as he stood in front of her. “It appears Commander Ren has been injured during a recent mission.”

Livia was stunned and had no response as her mind tried to process what this meant to her, to Kylo. She looked like she was about to cry.

“Now, now, my dear,” the captain consoled her, “he is on the mend, but he has been unable to speak to anyone for several days and that is why you have not heard from him.”

“I must go to him,” she said, rising to her feet and heading for the door expecting the captain to come with her.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,’ he said, stepping between her and the doorway. “You are a - well, you’re being, um...” the captain balked.

“What?” Livia demanded. “Say what you mean, Captain!”

“You are not allowed to see him, Miss Livia,” he stated.

“You will take me now!” she yelled at him. “He is very important to me and I must see him!”

The captain was amazed at the vehemence of this creature. She was nobody and yet she was ready to fight tooth and nail to see Kylo Ren. Why, the captain had no idea.

“Clearly, we will not be conducting any lessons today,” he said, gathering his things back up and heading for the door. “I will return tomorrow, perhaps you will have calmed down by then.”

As soon as the Captain opened the door, however, Livia made a break for it.

Her cooperative nature over the last several months had lulled the troopers stationed outside her door into a false sense of security, and it took them a moment to even realize she had escaped, then another moment to move the rotund captain out of their way as Livia had tripped him and he now lay blocking the middle of the hallway.

Livia remembered in detail the exact way to Kylo’s quarters although she’d only visited him there a couple of times, and she ran for all she was worth, grateful she’d kept up with her exercise.

She reached the lift and managed to punch in the correct key code for his floor which led her to think she was home free, but as it ascended towards Kylo’s level, it stopped suddenly and wouldn’t move again, no matter how many buttons she pushed. She could feel when it reversed course and started moving back down, and she realized with disappointment she’d probably been caught and would be taken back to her quarters. Despite the failure, she congratulated herself on her efforts.

When the lift stopped, the doors opened to reveal her two troopers, a large metallic-looking trooper and the officer in the all-black uniform with the brilliant red hair. He was wearing a very large but very fake smile, and her instincts told her that nothing good was going to come from this.

“It appears that Ren’s pet has gotten out of her cage,” Phasma commented to Hux as they observed the young woman staring back at them from the inside of the lift, her feminine voice surprising Livia.

“I’m not a pet, and I do not live in a cage,” Livia said. “Who are you?”

“Oh, but she is a barbarian, apparently,” Hux replied.

“That is an ugly way of saying people who lack culture,” Livia tried quoting Kylo, indignant that this man would call her a barbarian to her face. Then she remembered what Kylo had told her. “Commander Ren said I should never let anybody talk to me like that.”

Hux laughed at her. He _laughed_. This was too much. Livia stepped forward and slapped him. In response, the big metallic trooper grabbed her arm and twisted it in such a way that it made Livia shriek in pain and collapse to the floor.

“I see you’re just like him!” Hux glowered at her while rubbing his face where the skin had turned bright red in response to the blow Livia had landed squarely in the middle of his cheek.

“What shall I do with her, General Hux?” the trooper asked as Livia struggled to escape her grip.

“Throw her in Detention Block C,” he said, smiling smugly at Livia as the trooper dragged her up by her wrist. “I’ll be down to torment - I mean, visit - her later.”

~~~~~~

The detention cell was small, cold, and bare of anything except a vacc tube and a sink. The grates on the floor were very uncomfortable against her skin, so Livia alternated between pacing and sitting.

She could hear various noises outside her door, some routine, but some frightening. She would occasionally hear cries or yells that were either pain or anger, she couldn’t tell which. Nevertheless, they all unsettled her. Either people were desperate or angry enough about being held here that they were willing to shout out against their imprisonment, or they were frightened or abused enough to cry out in pain or fear. Either way, she was terrified what it might mean for her.

At least she had access to clean water, and she availed herself of the sink to keep her body hydrated. The water was fresh and clear, and she might even be able to bathe herself from it if she had to.

Her cell door suddenly opened to reveal the General. Hucks, she thought his name was. He wore a sarcastic look on his face and she was suspicious of his motives after his comments to the large trooper who had arrested her and dragged her down to the prison level.

“Well, well,” the general said, stalking over to where she sat in a corner of the room. “So this is the pet project Ren has been hiding from us.”

“I’m not a pet,” she responded tightly.

“Then, what are you?” he challenged her.

“He wants me to be his, um…” Livia tried to remember the word for friend Kylo had mentioned to her. “His _amanto_.”

The general snickered. “Oh, does he, now? I can’t imagine him taking a woman such as you into his life like that.”

 _Like what_? Livia wondered. She thought Kylo had meant as a girlfriend. Was it something else?

As he continued pacing around her, he went on with his harangue. “He must be very desperate to be willing to take on an illiterate, primitive being such as you.”

“You do not know things about me,” she protested. “I’m very intelligent, Kylo said so.”

“So intelligent, you can barely speak the language,” he mocked her. “Maybe what he sees in you has nothing to do with what’s in your head,” he replied.

No matter the language barrier, even Livia understood the insult Hux made against her with those words.

“Stand up, girl.”

Frightened, Livia carefully rose to her feet, wary of the general making any quick moves towards her. Instead, he stepped closer into her personal space, so close she could smell his sharp cologne, and reached his hands out to brush her hair back over her shoulders to observe her face more closely. She swallowed nervously, trying not to show him any fear and at the same time restraining her desire to punch him in the face. He must have picked up on her intentions, for he stared at her with a warning look in his eye.

“Don’t even think about trying to attack me,” he threatened her, “or you will greatly regret it. If you think Ren is _brutala_ , wait until you cross _me_.”

“ _Bru- brutala_?” Livia asked for clarification.

“Vicious… violent… merciless…savage...” the general leaning in closer with every word as he explained the term to her, a couple of the terms familiar to her.

“What do you mean, Kylo is not violent,” she objected.

“Oh, my dear,” he countered, snickering, “how little you know of our fearsome commander. He’s been hiding his true self from you, hasn’t he, attempting to show you his ‘good side’, if he has one,” he scoffed.

Livia’s face turned pale with fear as some of the mystery surrounding Kylo was beginning to unravel with Hux’s revelation. She backed up against the wall, piecing together the information the general was feeding her with what she’d already learned, or failed to learn, from her instructors; the experiences she’d had with Kylo so far; the injuries she’d seen he’d sustained at least twice now since she’d met him. She licked her lips as her mouth went dry.

“Who is Kylo Ren?” she almost whispered to the general, hoping he at least would be willing to tell her the whole truth.

“Kylo Ren is a killer,” the general stated, folding his hands in front of him with a self satisfied grin. “He is a cruel man with a deep desire for power and a temper like a spoilt child. He is dangerous and foolish. Have you not seen the signs of his nature, young lady?”

Livia didn’t answer him, looking away from the general as the facts started to fall into place. “I think he has been wanting for me to like him,” she said softly. “He said he would help me.”

“Well, you can clearly see now he has been lying to you,” the general responded with smug satisfaction at putting down his rival. “Your life has been nothing but a joke to him, a silly diversion. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t care about anybody, hardly even himself!”

The discovery was too much to take in as Livia considered how she was supposed to have been doing something constructive with the time and opportunities given to her here. Livia had abandoned her plans to return home and instead had adopted the goal of building a life within the First Order with Kylo as her touchstone. What would she do now that she didn’t dare rely upon him?

“I need to think,” she said quietly, turning away from the general. 

“While you’re thinking, consider this. They call him Jedi Killer for a reason. He brutally murdered his fellow students at the academy where he was studying when he was just a boy. He’s murdered countless people since then, and he is a student of the dark side, a user of the evil side of the Force who utilizes his power to intimidate and eliminate anyone who stands in his way. I suggest you remember that from now on if you wish to remain safe.” And with that, the general turned hard on his heel and marched from Livia’s cell, leaving her alone to think about his revelations.

~~~~~~

“Where is Livia?!” Kylo demanded of the troopers stationed outside her quarters.

One trooper’s voice crackled hesitantly over his helmet’s mic. “She escaped, sir. General Hux, he, um, he took her to the detention level.”

Ren fought the urge to smash the two troopers together, crushing their skulls like fragile eggs. Instead, he stalked as fast as his injuries would allow him to the lift that would take him to the detention area, deep within the bowels of the immense Star Destroyer.

Arriving there, he encountered two staffers who seemed not at all surprised to see him.

“Where is she?!” he roared at them. They knew exactly who he wanted and they looked at each other to see which one was willing to go with Ren to open the cell for him. “NOW!” Ren shrieked at them, the volume of his voice crackling through the vocoder. They both exited the command pod after one released the latch on her cell door and led the way down the hallway where she was being held prisoner.

The staffers flanked the open door just moments before Ren limped into her cell to retrieve her from her imprisonment.

“Livia,” he gasped as he removed his mask, knowing she was here but the shock of seeing her in these conditions disturbing him all the same.

She shrank back from him, not at all pleased he had made an appearance, and he mistook her fear for resentment.

“I’m sorry I was gone so long and left you alone. I wanted to come say goodbye before I left, but I just didn’t have time,” he explained as he knelt painfully next to her. “And you should never have been brought here, I’ll make sure Hux never does this to you again.”

But her aversion to him had little to do with what transpired over the last few weeks. What made her cringe from his presence was what she’d learned about him from the general, the truth she realized he’d been hiding this whole time, the truth that now made everything clear.

“Come, let me take you back to your quarters,” he reached out to her, the movement causing pain in his joints, the wounds he’d suffered the mementos of his latest battle.

“No,” she said softly. “I don't want to go with you. Please leave me here.”

“Livia?” Kylo said. “I can’t leave you here, you need to be back in your quarters where you’re safe.”

Livia thought for a moment about what she was about to say. “I won’t be safe with you, I know what you are. I want to stay here where you can’t hurt me.”

Kylo’s face fell and his heart felt like it was being crushed. “Livia, what are you saying?”

“The general told me. You are Jet-eye Killer. You have hurt many people, killed many people. I don't want to die, Kylo. Please leave me here if you care for me,” Livia pleaded with him, fear in her eyes.

Hux. What Kylo feared, what he’d tried to forestall, had unfortunately come to pass. The one person he trusted the least had gotten to Livia before he did, had told her the truth that he’d wanted to hide from her. He’d never gotten a chance to share his side of who he was so that he could see if she was willing to overlook his faults. It’s not who he wanted to be forever, not even who he wanted to be in the present, but Kylo knew it was a lost cause now. It was over.

Sorrow was building in Kylo’s heart and he was terrified if he stayed, she would see weakness in him. He struggled to stand and then donned his helmet to hide the tears pooling in his eyes as he left the cell, marching out of the detention area and going back to his quarters, where he destroyed every single thing he could put his hands on, and then some.


	9. Double Trouble

Livia lay on the cold, hard floor of her cell, thinking about the twists and turns her life had taken ever since she’d lost her husband. His passing had caused her to throw herself into her work to avoid dealing with the loss, and for the last couple of years her focus had been solely on her work at NASA.

With the station gone, she had nothing to do with herself until Kylo had set her to learning the language so they could communicate and she could assimilate into the First Order.

But now Kylo was gone as well. She didn’t know what she would possibly be able to do with her life now - she was alone in a strange world, unable to leave and no clear path ahead of her. She felt like she was backed into a corner.

Which is exactly where she was when General Hux found her the next day. She had curled up between two walls, her head resting in the angle in between, fast asleep. The hissing of the door woke her and she rubbed her eyes against the bright light in her cell. 

Livia had made up her mind that her lack of power and resources was going to force her to ingratiate herself to anyone and everyone she dealt with, whether she liked it or not, such as people like General Hux.

“Good morning, General,” she said pleasantly, standing to greet him.

He seemed taken aback by her pleasant tone.

“Well, good morning. I trust you had no trouble since my last visit?” he asked, clasping his arms behind his back in his usual stance.

 _You mean, trying to sleep on the rigid floor in this freezing box?_ she thought but didn’t say it. “No, thank you, everything was fine,” she lied.

“Very good. I understand Commander Ren came to visit,” he replied.

Livia felt butterflies in her stomach at the mention of Kylo’s name. She missed him, the Kylo she knew, not the Kylo that Hux had revealed to her.

“Yes, he did,” she confirmed, her voice sad.

“I see you are unharmed. You must not have had a very deep conversation,” he said, his voice sounding disappointed.

“No, we did,” she answered.

Hux looked perplexed. He would have expected Ren to lose his mind if the girl had confronted him over what she knew.

“I’m surprised he left you here,” Hux commented, “I thought he would have rescued you, taken you from here and returned you to your quarters.”

“I asked him not to,” she replied. “I told him I would be more safe here.”

 _So there was the truth_ , Hux thought - _she_ had _confronted Ren about what she knew_. But now what would Hux do with her? The whole point of throwing her in here was to annoy Ren, to make life difficult for him, make him pay for the ways he always made things difficult for Hux.

“I want to say I’m sorry to you, General. I should not have hurt you,” Livia apologized. “I was scared. I hope you will forgive me.”

Now Hux was even more taken aback, but he was suspicious at the same time.

“Apology accepted, but your punishment will be determined at a disciplinary hearing later today. Someone will come to retrieve you when it’s time.”

“Thank you, General,” she replied softly, her head down.

Hux was bored - his inability to get a rise out of Ren or the girl was frustrating and he left her cell without responding.

Livia was now terrified. She knew she heard the word ‘discipline’ and she thought she heard the word ‘hearing.’ Would she be sentenced to imprisonment? Corporal punishment? Even death?

She tried to remember what Captain Halowin had said about discipline. She wasn’t an officer, so they wouldn’t be able to strip her rank and expel her, but would they just leave her somewhere to fend her herself? Drop her off on a planet with nothing and no one? Livia began to panic. She had to find a way to take control of her life, once and for all.

~~~~~~

A short time later, two troopers appeared at Livia’s cell door, one of them approaching her while his comrade covered her with a rifle. She was handed a plastic pouch and then the two troopers retreated back into the hallway.

Livia carefully opened the pouch to find inside a small photograph, encased in laminated plastic, the face of her late husband gazing back at her, and her breath caught in her throat as she took in David’s face for the first time in months.

Along with the photo was a small note hand-written in Aurebesh, and Livia had to work to decipher it.

_Livia,_

_I believe this is the picture you were asking for._

_I hope it is in as good condition as when it was confiscated._ _  
_ _I know how important it is to you._

_-Kylo_

Livia felt badly that although she had rejected him, Kylo had still extended this gesture of kindness. Kylo cared about her, she knew he did, and he had tried to show her, but in turn she had spurned his efforts to reach out to her.

But how could she accept his overtures towards her when he treated others the way that he did? What if he came to treat her the way he treated everyone else?

As she looked again at the picture of David, the same spark and warmth that used to flare in her heart seemed dimmer now for some reason. Livia felt he was becoming only a memory, and that, as fleeting as the star systems in the ship’s wake.

~~~~~~

The disciplinary hearing took place several hours later with Livia being placed in shackles and brought into a large, dark room cast in shadow where Kylo, the shiny metal woman trooper, and General Hux stood by as several white troopers escorted her into the room.

Kylo stood impassive behind his inscrutable helmet and Livia saw him flinch as he shifted his weight to alleviate his discomfort, stiffening impatiently as Hux glared at him, the general clasping his hands characteristically behind his back.

Once Livia had been moved into the middle of the room between Hux and Ren, a hum began emanating from the wall opposite and a hologram of a creature almost two stories tall materialized in front of them. He had a scarred and twisted face and looked extremely displeased, frightening Livia to the point that she looked at Kylo, considering turning to him for solace, but then remembering he was as likely to hurt her as the creature before her.

“So, this is the woman whom you promised would not distract you from your duties, Kylo Ren,” the man declared in a booming voice that shook Livia’s constitution as her hands fidgeted nervously in the shackles. Livia was shocked to discover this was the man with whom Kylo had discussed her fate, the man who didn’t want Kylo to help her.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Kylo answered abashedly as he knelt in front of his master, the effort obviously causing him a great deal of pain.

“And yet here we are at a disciplinary hearing called by General Hux because you have been unable to control her,” the man’s voice sounding more agitated the longer he spoke.

Livia felt self-conscious that she was being discussed as if she weren’t even in the room and wondered if she should be kneeling in front of the massive image also.

“I was unavailable, Supreme Leader,” Ren explained. “I was recovering from the injuries I incurred due to bad intel I received for our last mission.” Kylo glared at Hux as he said it.

“That intel was perfect!” The general defended himself. “Your pathetic crew of misfits blew it when they rushed in too early!”

“They entered the battle when it was necessary, when they walked into a trap that you knew about!” Kylo screamed in accusation as he pointed in the general’s direction, the effort wearing on him.

“Don’t blame me because your pathetic band of idiots can’t see an ambush—”

“Enough!” the man called Supreme Leader interrupted angrily. “Your incessant squabbling is puerile!”

“Supreme Leader,” Kylo went on, rising with difficulty. “Circumstances have changed, and I have plans for the woman.”

“I’m sure you do,” Hux snidely suggested under his breath, only so loud that Kylo and Livia could hear him.

Ren ignored his nemesis to address Snoke.

“Based on a test that was given to her, she’s proved that her capacity to understand engineering principles is exceptional,” Kylo informed him. “Therefore, I’d like to request she be trained as an engineer and placed on my flight crew.”

Livia’s mouth dropped in shock, while Hux sputtered in disdain as Phasma rolled her eyes behind her helmet.

“An engineer? This barbarian?” Hux mocked Livia to her face.

The Supreme Leader, however, considered Ren’s proposal.

“Yes, perhaps this will give her something to do besides making a nuisance of herself,” Snoke seemed to agree. “What is your name, girl?”

“I am Livia Salinsky, sir” she replied. “I’m sorry for the trouble I made. It is my fault that things went bad. It’s not Commander Ren’s fault, it’s not the general’s fault. It’s my fault,” she confessed.

Hux shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose in dismay, thinking her to be a fool, as Kylo stood silently.

The Supreme Leader sat back, his hands folding together as he sat silently in thought.

“I find it irksome,” he said finally, looking between Ren and Hux, “that every time the two of you children come into my presence you point the finger of fault at each other, and yet this girl, knowing nothing of our ways, comes before me professing her own faults in the face of uncertain consequences.”

While some of the words were more complex than what Livia could understand, most of what the leader said let her know that he was more displeased with Hux and Ren than he was with her.

“Miss Salinsky,” the gruesome man drew her name out menacingly, “your punishment is waived at this point in time. I suggest you remember you are our prisoner, not our guest. You shall not be allowed to wander the ship unescorted in future, and you shall keep your hands to yourself, or there will be severe consequences,” he declared, as he leaned forward on his throne.

“Thank you-”

“But, Supreme Leader,” Hux protested. cutting off Livia’s attempt to voice her gratitude for his leniency. “She attacked me! A high-ranking officer! She must be punished for her insolence!”

“Silence!” the leader shouted, making the room shake with his voice. “The courage it took for her to admit her culpability in this situation should shame the both of you! Would that one of you were to appear before me and own up to his responsibilities in this manner when events take a turn for the worse.”

Ignoring Hux, he then turned his attention back to the commander. “Kylo Ren,” the Supreme Leader said, “I want you to transfer the girl to _your_ quarters and keep her under your direct supervision from now on. You must keep her under a firmer hand,” the Supreme Leader directed him.

“Oh, well, if she’s going to be housed with Ren,” Hux observed, “that’s punishment enough, I suppose.” The general looked between Livia and Kylo, considering the possible ramifications, and his lip curled thinking of the potential for her being punished at the hands of Ren. “I suppose she’ll get what’s coming to her sooner than later,” he replied, a smug look on his face.

Ren was fuming. The Supreme Leader was thrusting him and Livia together despite the fact that she wanted nothing to do with him, and Hux was having a laugh at Ren's expense. He supposed Snoke was doing this to prove a point to Ren, to rub his nose in his failure of not being able to manage things with Livia as he’d promised.

“General, Captain, you and your troops are dismissed. I would speak with Kylo Ren and the young lady alone.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader,” Hux said, the ingratiating tone sickly sweet to Ren’s ears.

As Livia and Kylo stood before the grand image of the Supreme Leader, they looked sidelong at each other uncomfortably, afraid of what lay in store for them.

“How are your injuries?” the Supreme Leader inquired of Ren, though his worry seemed more a matter of self-interest than true concern for his apprentice.

“They’re healing,” Kylo reassured his master, “I’ll be prepared for the next offensive.”

“Very well,” the Supreme Leader leaned forward, one elbow resting on his knee. “In the meantime, I understand this young woman’s world is far from here, possibly in another galaxy and no longer within our reach, meaning she has no way to return home. Is this true?”

Hearing that information repeated by another person made it seem all the more real for Livia.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Ren replied.

“You understand, this has left her at a great disadvantage.”

“I’m aware,” he answered.

“Then you must remember that you have made a commitment to this woman, a commitment to me. You must learn to honor your commitments. And let me remind you - this will be the last time I will have any such conversation with you regarding her conduct. Now go, and do as you promised,” the Supreme Leader said, dismissing them both.

Kylo gently took Livia by the elbow and guided her from the chamber and as the door closed behind them, she stopped, balking against Ren. “Wait, please, can you take these off of me?” she asked, holding her shackled hands up to him.

Remembering that she’d escaped from her own room and knowing what punishment could lay in store for him if she ran, he wasn’t ready to trust her yet. “Not until we’re back in my quarters,” he said. Observing her look of disappointment, he snapped at her. “If you hadn’t run away the first time, you wouldn’t have to wear these now!”

Livia shrank back at his sharp rebuke and as the two of them proceeded back to Ren’s quarters, she was ashamed to be wearing such obvious fetters, garnering attention which embarrassed her as people observed the restraints. 

As Livia resigned herself to her circumstances, her humiliation caused warmth to flush through her nether region as the shame elicited the uncontrollable rush of excitement to which she was prone as it pricked at her submissive nature. She put her head down, trying to avoid their accusatory stares, her cheeks burning hot with shame all the way back to his quarters, which felt like it was on the complete opposite end of the ship from where they were currently situated. When they finally reached Kylo’s quarters, she discovered with great discomfort that she was actually wet between her legs.

Ren pushed her inside the room and forced her down by her shoulder onto one of the sofas before he walked over to a bar at the side of the dining area where poured himself a shot of liquor. He tossed it back quickly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before hauling off and throwing the glass against the wall full force. The shattering noise startled and frightened Livia, and she cringed behind the shackles still encasing her wrists.

He tore his cape from his shoulders, flinging it across the back of the couch next to Livia, his scent on the fabric wafting past her and adding to her already-stimulated state. Kylo paced the slick, black floor of his quarters, the tension in the room making Livia nervous, and when he looked over to her, he noticed she was trembling but trying her best to hide it.

As the liquor soothed his nerves, he took a deep breath, regaining his composure and thinking of how he was reinforcing every negative thing she had been told about him if he continued his outburst.

Ren knelt at her side, intending to release Livia’s shackles, but she pulled away from him in fear, backing herself into a corner between the cushions, her face full of fear.

“It’s alright,” he tried calming Livia, “I’m not going to hurt you. Give me your wrists, I promised I’d take these off when we returned.”

As their eyes met, something strange happened between the two of them.

Through the Force, Ren could feel an overwhelming sense of wantonness radiating from Livia, so strong it nearly knocked him over. He sat there, not moving, as he observed her to see what was happening, what she might say.

She seemed uncomfortable, for she shifted in her seat, rubbing her thighs together, her breath coming in short, panting gasps.

“Livia,” he confronted her gently, “are you excited?”

Still locked in his gaze, Livia shook her head almost imperceptibly, denying the truth of which Kylo could not but be absolutely certain.

“Don’t lie to me,” he rebuked her darkly. “Are you excited,” he stated more than questioned.

Her cheeks were flushing pink as she gulped. “Stop, please,” she begged him.

Kylo watched her, looking intently at her, peering into her psyche that was vibrating with energy. He could see without eyes that she wanted him with the very fiber of her soul, but a wall larger than the greatest ship in the fleet was keeping her from surrendering to him.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his eyes searching hers, tugging at the manacles that held her fast in his possession. “Are you certain you want these off?” Kylo almost whispered as he looked down at her shackles, not wanting to remove them, pleased at the reaction it was creating in her, and him as well.

Livia couldn’t answer him, and her response was making Kylo feel powerful in a way that the Force never did. He knew he had her helpless in his control, and her fear was stoking his desire for her. He rested his hand on the heavy manacles still keeping her captive, gripping them gently to keep her immobile as he placed his other hand behind her head and pulled her towards him to place his lips to hers which were hot with anticipation. Her mouth opened immediately, a small whimper escaping her throat as Kylo continued to hold her hands in his strong grip, keeping her ensnared in his embrace.

The emotion in Livia was boiling over, and Kylo couldn’t ignore her longing for him. He thought he’d felt it months before but he couldn’t be certain then that it wasn’t fear or frustration and he ignored it as he tried to take things slowly with her. However, this was different from how she’d felt to him up until now. This was a roiling, greedy sensation, full of ardor and sensuality, borne of passion and hunger.

Still kissing her, Kylo pressed his strong, thick fingers between her thighs and she broke the connection between their mouths as she inhaled sharply at the intrusion. Undaunted, he kept his eyes fixed on hers as he slid his palm up the inside of her thigh until he could feel the warmth coming to a pinnacle, and when his fingers created a pressure point between her legs, she choked in surprise - and _came_.

Livia cried out in release, pulling the cold, hard shackles up to her chest, straining to pull her hands free as her head was thrown back on the couch and her thighs clamped down on Kylo’s penetrating fingers. She tried to swallow her wails of ecstasy, her head thrashing back and forth as an orgasm wracked her body, her breath coming in staggered, desperate gulps.

Kylo stayed perfectly still, watching Livia endure the waves of pleasure pulsing through her body, over and over, taking in the delicious pulses of energy her mind and body were emanating. When the frenzy had passed and she was gasping for breath, he sat back in wonderment.

“That was…” he began.

“No!” Livia protested, “I’m sorry! You must not look at me!” She tried hiding her face behind the shackles, bowing her head.

“Livia, it’s alright,” Kylo said, trying to pull her hands down so he could see her face. “Livia?”

The woman curled over in a ball as she sobbed, trying to hide herself from Kylo so he could not see what he had done, the effect he’d had on her.

“Please, take them off,” she begged, holding her wrists out to Kylo in desperation, still keeping her face turned away in humiliation.

Eager to ease her discomfort, Kylo produced the keyfob and pressed it to the sensor that would release the hasps. As the manacles fell to the floor, Livia burst into tears.

“Livia, what happened?” Kylo asked in utter confusion.

She put her face in her hands, crying with what seemed like relief until she had nothing left.

“Kylo, I… I have a truth I have not told you,” she said softly. “I know it’s not fair, when I have asked you to tell me about your truth, but there is a way that I am,” she started explaining. “When I’m in fear, not able to move, not free, or I’m punished... then I am…”

“It’s alright,” he replied, “I think I understand.”

“You do?” she asked, looking up at him in disbelief.

Kylo’s thoughts went back to the day he’d met her, the day he’d dug into her memories to see her in shackles, in the throes of climax.

“I’ve seen it before, in your mind. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now,” he replied.

“You cannot use it with me,” Livia pleaded.

“And why not?” Kylo said gently, brushing her hair out of her face.

She looked shocked he would even consider engaging with her that way.

“I am - I don’t know the word,” she said, frustrated.

“You don’t know what word? Is it _ashamed_?” he volunteered. He knew it, could feel it through the Force without her telling him.

“Yes,” she agreed solemnly.

Kylo was quiet for a moment, then sat on the couch next to her, holding her hand.

“I am ashamed sometimes, too, Livia,” he said. “There are things I do, things I have done, for which I feel shame.”

“What are you ashamed of?” she asked, wiping her nose on the handkerchief Kylo handed her. She wanted to hear the truth, once and for all, from his own mouth.

Kylo looked at her, unsure how to tell her what he’d been withholding from her all this time, what he hadn’t wanted to tell her, and he felt like a hypocrite. How could he tell her to overcome her sense of shame when he was hiding his true self from her in an effort to win her admiration, an effort that had apparently backfired on him?

“I… I’ve-” Kylo stopped, unable to bring himself to reveal his true nature.

“Kylo, please,” she pleaded with him.

Looking at her soft green eyes, pleading with him, he knew that he was running out of chances to come clean with her before she refused to trust him ever again, but at the same time he was terrified she would repeat his confessions to others, even if she didn’t turn her back on him.

“Alright,” he acquiesced. “You want to know, I’ll tell you. And then I expect you will turn your back on me, and I’m prepared for that,” he replied, looking down with resignation. He took a deep breath and sat back as he prepared to share with her the knowledge of who he was.

“It’s true, what Hux told you,” he said, defeat in his words as he began to admit to her who he was, what he had done. “I have taken the lives of many people.” He looked down at his hands, his scarred, battle-worn hands that had put a lightsaber to the throat of man and woman, young and old, weak and strong alike - even his own father.

Livia didn’t move a muscle, she merely listened attentively, hoping to hear from Kylo himself what she had not been privy to up to this point.

Kylo told her told her the deeper story of his descent into the dark side at the hands of Snoke, the destruction of the Jedi academy as he escaped his uncle’s attempt to murder him in his sleep, the meeting with the Knights of Ren and his alignment with the First Order.

Then, even more difficult stories were told. How there had been sacrifice to the dark side required of him through the death of his father, how he had suffered at the hands of both his nemesis in the Force and by Snoke, and his ongoing conflict with Hux, who saw the Force as something to be suspicious of and who felt a rivalry with Kylo for Snoke’s favor. And finally, how Snoke held Kylo’s very life in his hands, dictated his actions, controlled his future and how Kylo had struggled against himself and the dark voice of Snoke in his head as he’d attempted to walk away from the dark side the last day he’d last seen his father.

Livia’s attention was rapt as Kylo spoke. She leaned forward, hanging on his every word as he laid out his life’s path to her, and she was overwhelmed.

“I almost, I - I thought I could do it. I had handed him the lightsaber, I was so close, and I don’t… I don’t know what happened,” Kylo lamented, tears forming in his eyes. “I took his life,” he whispered, “I didn’t want to, but the pull to the darkness was stronger...”

As Livia’s fingers brushed gently over Kylo’s hand in a gesture of comfort, she observed scars and bruises on his head and neck and hands, and she suspected they were everywhere. This man was abused and beaten in more ways than one. _It’s no wonder he’s angry and violent,_ she thought. _He’s reacting to how he’s been treated._

The past few months of hunting down the Resistance while trying to keep Hux from sabotaging his efforts, the Supreme Leader tormenting him and demanding more and more from him, his brush with the female force-user that had disturbed his psyche, it was all too much. The effort to be honest, to lay bare his soul to Livia took more out of him than he could handle. With his body broken and his soul tortured, Kylo turned away from Livia.

“I can’t do this anymore, I have to stop,” Kylo said, his face worn with care. “It’s time for you to go to bed, Livia.”

He picked up his helmet and fled his quarters without looking back, leaving Livia alone with a different picture of Kylo, one which she didn’t know how to interpret.


	10. Just What I Needed

Kylo was lying on one of the sofas in his living room, the glow of the stars through the transparisteel window casting a faint light on his visage. Livia was in his bed where he’d left her to sleep alone, unable to face her after confessing to her what caused him the sense of shame he told her that she herself shouldn’t be feeling.

After walking out earlier, he’d gone to his training rooms to work off his anger, but now he tossed and turned on the couch, sleepless. His many transgressions played through his mind, from the classmates he’d killed the night Luke had tried to murder him in his sleep, to the countless numbers of foes he’d mowed down on the battlefield in pursuit of his objectives, to those who merely angered him or stood in his way.

But his greatest sense of shame was the weakness that kept him shackled, body and soul, to Snoke. Since the days when he was barely of age, Snoke had overshadowed Kylo’s entire life, making all his decisions, directing the course of Kylo’s development, forming Kylo’s persona, determining who Kylo was becoming as an adult. Essentially, he wasn’t his own man - he was Snoke’s.

And Kylo came to the conclusion that it was time that came to an end.

~~~~~~

The next morning, Livia found Kylo lying on the sofa, his shirt and boots discarded on the floor, his arms above his head. She observed his body was a maze of lacerations punctuated by bruises and Livia was horrified at the wounds he’d suffered, so much so that she gasped audibly, waking Kylo into a state of alarm.

Kylo scrambled to his feet in defense as he pulled his lightsaber telekinetically to his grasp and activated it, brandishing the sword over her, ready to strike.

Livia screamed and drew back, falling over the table in her panic.

Kylo’s breath was coming hard and fast as his mind caught up to his surroundings. Luke was  _ not _ standing over him, he was  _ not _ in his hut back at the academy. Putting the weapon away, he circled around to help Livia up off the floor from where she’d landed as she attempted to escape him.

“Livia, are you alright?” he asked solicitously as he helped her up. She was holding her head, and Kylo reached around to feel where she had a small lump forming.

“Dammit,” he muttered.

“I’m okay,” she tried reassuring him. “Just let me sit.”

Livia perched on the cold leather sofa, Kylo’s oversized tunic draped over her as a nightshirt.

“Sit here for a minute, I’ll be right back,” Kylo said, returning with a small cloth wrapped around some ice, which he put to the back of her head.

“I can do it,” she said, taking the cold pack from him as she asked, “what happened?”

Kylo looked down, his jaw working as he tried to form an honest but non-committal answer.

“I had a bad dream,” he replied.

“Oh,” she responded. “Does that happen a lot?”

Kylo nodded somewhat, keeping his gaze averted.

“What was that thing you had? The light?” she asked.

“Lightsaber. It’s the weapon I wield in battle,” he replied. “It uses a laser matrix and I don’t ever want to see it in your hand, do not ever touch it, do you understand me? It’s very dangerous, and you have to be specially trained to use it.”

“No,” she said, “I wouldn’t want to touch it, I can see how dangerous it is.”

Kylo nodded. “In the meantime, I’m putting you in your own quarters where I can’t hurt you,” he assured her, leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. “I’m so sorry.”

“Please don’t say sorry,” she asked him, her hand resting on his arm. “I know you can’t help it.”

“I could have killed you, Livia,” he said, his words full of regret as he rose and went to the refresher to get cleaned up.

As days went by, Kylo continued sleeping on the couch, Livia continued sleeping in his bed, and Captain Halowin continued Livia’s language lessons, with neither she nor Captain Halowin mentioning the incident of her escaping her quarters. The captain seemed none the worse for wear, and the brief interlude had done nothing to stymie Livia’s progress in Basic.

When Kylo returned one evening, he was in a foul mood, removing his helmet the moment the doors slid aside and tossing it across the room where it clattered against the walls.

“I shall take my leave, I’ll see you tomorrow, Livia,” the captain said as he slipped from Kylo’s quarters as discreetly as possible.

Kylo started removing his cape, struggling with the clasps in his irritation and Livia sat watching him from the dining table. She fussed with the datapad Captain Halowin had left behind in his haste to depart, and she thought of occupying herself with it so she could ignore Kylo’s ire, but instead she stood and approached him.

“Supreme Leader won’t let me move you to new quarters,” he muttered angrily as he continued tugging at the fastenings, ready to tear the cloak to shreds in his frustration.

“Can I help with your cloak?” Livia offered gently.

Kylo looked at her, his eyes narrowed in anger, but began to calm as he saw her expression, gentle and welcoming. He scarcely nodded his head and said, “Go ahead.”

Livia reached up to his shoulders and worked her fingers between the fabric, unlatching the metal clips from his vest and gathering the fabric in her arms as it slipped from his shoulders.

As he took the cloak from her, he could sense the rising turmoil in Livia as her sensual self discerned the agitation in Kylo. She was trembling, her body once again reacting to the stimulation of fear that he was generating in her, and Kylo’s eyes dilated in response to her anxiety as he laid the cloak aside and moved closer, testing the effect of his presence upon her.

Livia’s breath was coming faster, her chest rising and falling with the increased agitation as she reacted to Kylo’s fearsome visage.

“You like that I’m angry, don’t you,” he asked her matter-of-factly.

“I- oh, uh, no, of course not,” she equivocated with him.

“Don’t lie to me, Livia,” he hissed. “I can sense through the Force when you’re being dishonest with me.”

She grimaced at the revelation.

“Fine, yes!” she blurted out, “but I shouldn’t, it’s not okay! I should not want you to be angry.”

“It’s not that  _ you  _ want me this way,” he leered down at her, “it’s that your  _ body  _ wants me this way.”

Kylo snapped up her wrists in his gloved hands before she could even react, his grip like iron wrapped in velvet, and although Livia yelped in surprise and struggled, Kylo knew it was not nearly with the fervor she was capable of were she to be truly in danger.

“Is that all you have?” he softly taunted her as he backed her into a wall, pressing his chest to hers and reaching down with his mouth to latch onto her neck with his teeth.

“Ah!” she cried out, “stop, please, it hurts!”

“I know,” he murmured, his mouth buried in her hair. “That’s how you like it.”

The accusation he laid against her desirous nature brought a fresh wail of protestation from Livia, but Kylo vowed to show her no mercy because he knew they all rang false.

Stepping back to take in her reaction, he wanted to test her. “Kneel,” he commanded her, and Livia dropped to the floor almost instantaneously, without thought or objection.  _ She’s  _ trained  _ for this!  _ Kylo thought in amazement.

“Remove my boots,” he commanded her next.

“Yes, sir,” Livia acquiesced softly. Stealing furtive glances up at Kylo to ascertain if he was watching her, she located and unfastened the buckles to remove his footwear and deftly slid each one off of him, setting them aside and awaiting his next command.

Testing the waters, Ren made her await his next move as he removed his gloves. Seeing her ability to kneel patiently without complaint, he commanded her, “Bow at my feet.”

Livia looked at him for a split second before she spoke her consent and complied. He could feel the wanton rush between her legs when he bid her submit to him, could detect the way her quim became quenched with wetness as she sat hunched on the floor, her head bent over where it touched the tops of his bare feet and her hair fell in soft cascades over them onto the dark tile floor.

Her deference filled him with a rush of power as it bolstered his masculinity, and his cock hardened watching her prostrate herself before him, willingly, the action filling her with passion for him.

“You belong to me now,” he announced fervently as he looked down at her, his voice sounding more sure to his own ears than he’d heard it in quite a while. “You are my prisoner and I own you, do you understand?”

His words both frightened and excited her, and Livia sat up to lift her gaze to his face, so high above her. “Yes, sir,” she answered softly.

“Master,” he said firmly, correcting her. Again, a flush of lust rushed through her, amusing Kylo.

“Yes, Master,” she replied.

“Good girl,” he acknowledged her obeisance. “Now come, undress me,” he instructed her as he retreated into his bedroom, standing at the foot of his bed.

As Livia attempted to unfasten his clothes, she encountered a series of small clasps down the front, unlike anything she’d seen on Earth, and the unfamiliar catches were difficult enough for her to navigate, especially given that her hands were shaking with apprehension. Eventually, she was able to handle the fasteners of his gambeson and tunic and set them aside. As she did, she could smell his musk, the deep masculine scent of him reminiscent of leather and sweat and mechanical things, and it was heady.

Once she disrobed his chest completely, she was a moment too late masking her response as she took in his stature, which was exquisite. He had fine skin that was pale without appearing sickly though it was marred by a myriad of wounds and bruises he’d suffered on his last mission, his chest and arms were well-sculpted through what could only have been years of dedication and hard work, and his bearing was domineering. Livia wanted to faint.

“You’re not done undressing me,” he commented when she paused.

She balked at removing his pants, for she could only imagine what lay underneath.

“It’s as you believe,” he replied to her unspoken thought as his hands firmly grasped her wrists, encouraging her to complete her task. “Finish,” he said gently but firmly. “Now.”

“Yes, Master,” she replied.

Livia was a mess. Her womanhood was throbbing with anticipation and she could barely concentrate on the task at hand as she knelt in front of him again, but found it difficult, especially when presented with the fact that his manhood was firm within his garments, straining against the fabric.

She finally managed to loosen his trousers and carefully slid them down his finely carved legs, his thighs and calves speaking of his ability to move swiftly, though they also bore evidence of the skirmishes in which he’d plunged himself. She could only presume what fear his foes must experience when facing him in battle.

Livia assisted him in stepping out of his pants legs, and in doing so once again experienced her submission, reveling in the sensation as the idea of kneeling at her Master’s feet excited her. She was helpless, surrendering her agency, and the response was comforting and familiar to her. In her rapture, Livia rested her face against one of Kylo’s legs and clasped her arm against it, pressing her cheek against his thick, strong calf and closing her eyes. “Thank you, Master,” she sighed.

Kylo was pleasantly surprised to discover Livia was enjoying her experience, and he reached down and stroked her head as he shared in it with her.

“Come, Livia,” he replied, “you will now serve me.” As she looked up at him, he hooked a finger under his briefs. “Take these off,” he demanded of her.

Livia could see his phallus was swollen in excitement and her apprehension was at a zenith. She knew this was the point from which, once passed, she could not return. She swallowed against the nervousness rising in her as she faced regret at the thought of breaking her fidelity to her late husband.

Kylo was encountering the echoes of her reminiscence through the Force, her experiences of longing, remembering and guilt. When her reach toward him wavered as she hesitated, Kylo gently gathered her hands in his and looked deeply into her eyes.

“He’s gone, Livia, but you’re still alive,” Kylo reminded her, “and no one is going to judge you. Years have passed, and it’s time you allowed yourself to move on.”

She looked at Kylo in defeat, realizing she’d been holding on to a memory that was becoming harder and harder to recall. Considering his counsel, she nodded at him in resignation as she set his manhood free of its fabric confines.

Livia had to consciously tell herself not to gape at what her hands revealed, for his manhood was magnificent. It was large, much larger than the average male though it fitted him perfectly, the proportion ideal to his stature, and the shape was smooth and well-formed. The head was velvety soft and warm, and as Livia’s hands drifted across it, the small drop of liquid beading at the end clung to her fingertip and she could not stop herself from separating her lips and placing the miniscule bit of moisture on the tip of her tongue.

He tasted sweet and clean, and when she looked up at him again, she observed his chest heaving in and out as he drew great breaths with the anticipation rising in his gut.

“Take me in your mouth, Livia,” he charged her, “I’m going to make you forget him.”

So overwhelmed was she by his physical presence, his aura, his scent, she lost all inhibition as she licked her lips in anticipation and gladly and lovingly drew his cock into her hungry, waiting mouth. Her lips and tongue swirling with relish around his penis, its succulent flesh inundating her with the hormones for which her body had been starving. She could smell him, the pleasant scent of his essence overwhelming her senses, and she wanted to suck heartily at him but she was afraid she would overstimulate him and incur his displeasure. Instead, she paced herself, taking long, languid strokes with her lips, forming a soft but firm “O” around his shaft as her tongue laved him underneath, stimulating the bundle of nerves running along the fleshy ridge.

She could hear Kylo moaning, and his hands came down to cradle her head as his hips began a rhythmic rocking toward her face, the head of his prick approaching the back of her throat incrementally further with each stroke until the spongy knob was pressing hard against the back of her pallet, her gag reflex threatening to end its cooperation as it was experiencing more and more pressure.

Livia hands grasped at Kylo’s firm, muscular buttocks for balance, and she held on as he bucked and penetrated her face with his hard member. It was delicious to her, and long-forgotten urges now filled her as she sucked eagerly at him, anticipating with excitement the moment she would push him over the edge. Indeed, she reached a hand underneath of him to tenderly fondle his heavy testicles, her finger softly caressing the sensitive patch of skin behind them, eliciting a grunt from her master as she did.

“I’m going to cum,” Kylo breathed through gritted teeth, “you will swallow it.” His voice was hoarse but his dictate certain, and Livia hummed her assent as best she could to acknowledge his request and assure him that she would comply with his demand as she continued to maintain the cadence they had set.

The rhythm soon brought him bursting over the peak as his testes tightened upon themselves and he flooded her throat with hot, forceful spurts of his seed. Livia drank of him as fast as she could, for she feared she would drown if she did not, so copious was his ejaculate and so vigorously did he cum that she struggled to keep up with his production. His climax was prolific, and she felt she was in the presence of a true man for the first time in her life as she lapped up every drop of him.

Kylo sighed raggedly as he came down from his climax and he sat to relax at the foot of his bed while he helped Livia up from her position of subjugation at his feet.

“Now that we’ve saved the best for last,” Kylo said as she stood in front of him and he began to disrobe her.

Unable to put up any resistance, she allowed his thick, strong fingers to unclasp her pants as she pulled her tunic over her head. Standing in her bra and panties, she shivered as she looked at Kylo hungrily.

“I know you're nervous,” he stated gently.

Livia wavered before nodding slightly.

“It will be alright,” Kylo assured her, “You’re going to feel good, you need this.”

Knowing he had her assent, he continued undressing her, slowly reaching behind her with his fingers and deftly freeing her breasts from their confines before tugging her panties down over her hips to allow them to fall to the floor.

Seeing her naked in front of him for the first time, he exhaled appreciatively.

“So lovely,” he observed as his warm hands graced the sides of her ribcage and encircled her slim waist. Livia was firm but curvaceous, her hips rounding sweetly, and Kylo pulled her toward him and buried his face between her ample breasts, rubbing the stubble of his face over her sensitive skin as he inhaled her delicate scent. His head tilted back to look at her face and take her in as his thumbs brushed across her tiny, pale pink nipples.

Her reaction was instantaneous - Livia flung her head back and moaned, grasping his arms in ecstasy as he touched her naked body passionately for the first time, her response bringing him satisfaction.

“You’re going to cum hard for me,” he warned her, eliciting a small gasp from Livia as his hungry mouth latched tenderly onto a nipple and his hand slipped between her legs to explore her womanhood.

He slid one of his fingers between the lips of her pussy, softly separating her labia as he sought out her clitoris. His touch was smooth as water over her tissues, the sensation like a wave of pleasure enticing her. So overcome was she with stimulation, her hands clasped at his shoulders like talons.

“Master!” she exclaimed.

“Calm down,” he whispered to her before he moved to her other nipple, wanting to give them both equal attention, “I want this to last for you.”

Livia attempted to slow her breathing, but his expert ministrations were driving her insane with desire. She could feel her cunt was slick with excitement, and if he continued, she knew she would be unable to withhold her release for long.

“You’re - I’m - I’m going - oh!” she stammered, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Shhh….” Kylo cautioned her. “You’re not allowed to cum until I tell you.”

“No! Master, please!” She pleaded with him as she tried to squirm away from him but his thick arm snaked behind her to stop her retreat as he refused to relent. “I can’t stop! It’s coming!” she gasped as she nearly hyperventilated.

“Look at me, Livia,” he demanded of her as his firm fingers continued stroking her. She instantly turned her gaze to his eyes where he held her hypnotized.

“You do not cum without my permission. Ever,” he stated unequivocally. “Do you understand me?”

She shook her head up and down vigorously, but it did not satisfy Kylo.

“Say it,” he told her, his tone indicating he would accept no less.

“I- I un- oh, no, oh! I under-understand, Master!” Livia managed to choke out through the intense throbbing that was gripping her body as Kylo’s fingers mercilessly tormented her toward an inevitable pinnacle.

“Please!!” she begged him as she pressed her thighs against his hand in an effort to thwart his actions. “Please let me - ugh! cum, oh, p-please Master!”

Kylo did not answer her but merely continued stroking her flooded cunt as she cried for relief. Her juices had coated his hand completely and smeared against the inside of her thighs. He had been waiting to get hard again, and it didn’t take long as Livia’s wails of ecstasy mixed with misery to titillate him. He slowly and gently removed his fingers from her vulva and laid back on the bed, using her fluid to lubricate himself as he stroked his prick to readiness.

“I want you to fuck me, Livia,” Kylo entreated her, his cock erect and glistening with her juices.

She took in the sight of him once more, amazed that he had the vitality to have recovered so quickly.

“Now,” he added when she didn’t immediately comply.

At his command, Livia moved swiftly to obey, straddling his thighs with her own. She looked down at his cock, sizing it up and considering her ability to accept it.

“You can do it,” he reassured her.

Licking her lips and swallowing hard, Livia shut her eyes and positioned herself so that the tip of him was just touching her wetness, and she began stroking herself back and forth over him, letting the head separate her labia with each stroke, until finally, he was positioned at her entrance.

Kylo exercised self-control and compassion for her by remaining still and allowing her to lead the dance while he reached out to gently encircle her breasts as his fingers fondled her nipples.

Unable to stand any more, Livia began to sink down onto his massive member, the thick flesh spreading her wide open as she winced with pain and pleasure.

“Oooohhh, Kylo,” she moaned, sounding strained by the act, “it’s so big, ahhh, it’s filling me up, it hurts!!”

“It’s a good hurt, keep going,” he encouraged her. “I know you can take it all.”

Eventually, his cock filled her all the way to the top of her canal, and she could take no more as the pressure burned against the walls of her pussy and she was afraid to move. She sat still, letting her body become accustomed to the massive thing inside of her that was stretching her so wide.

When Kylo could sense her discomfort subsiding, he reached out his fingers to gently massage her clit. “Good girl, Livia, you’re doing well,” he assured her.

“Ohhh…” she moaned as the passion began rising in her again and she rocked her hips back and forth atop his firm phallus. The more she pressed down onto Kylo’s cock, the deeper he was able to go, until Livia found she was rubbing herself against his groin, their bodies locked in a maddening bout of coitus.

She held onto his hands to keep from collapsing forward on him and her hips drove in deep thrusts back and forth, Kylo’s cock penetrating her over and over, the head stroking her spot deep inside and delivering pleasure with every inch of movement.

Soon, Livia felt the pulsations within her reaching a crescendo and she begged Kylo for what her body was demanding of her. “Master, please, have mercy,” she beseeched him, “I must cum!”

“Go ahead, Livia,” he granted her permission as he clamped her fragile wrists in his strong, vise-like hands.

Kylo’s restraint of her was what finally sparked the explosion within Livia. She tensed against his grasp and screamed as hot torrents of euphoria coursed through her mind and muscles, her cunt clasping tightly to Kylo’s cock as pulses of pleasure released a rush of pleasure through her pussy.

Kylo found himself rolling her over onto her back to continue plunging into her hot core and he undulated his groin in long, intense movements, each stroke thrusting his cock deeply and powerfully inside Livia, who was now a whining, babbling mess. She was senseless, lost in the mind-altering experience that went on far longer than Kylo had expected, but it was to his advantage, for her reaction provided the catalyst that launched him toward his own release. Seeing how he had decimated her sexually brought Kylo all the way to the edge again where he burst through, his insides releasing another orgasm and he filled her canal with his thick, creamy cum as he rammed his manhood into her a few final times.

Spent, he rolled away from her, the two orgasms draining him, especially in the wake of the injuries from which he was still recovering.

As Livia came back to herself, the implication of what she had done pricked at her conscience, and she began to weep, turning her back on Kylo and burying her face in one of his pillows so that he would not see her tears.

He knew what she was thinking. He could tell by the emotions emanating from her that she felt guilty. She felt she’d betrayed the memory of her husband, despite the pleasure she’d derived from their coupling.

Kylo rolled over to curl himself behind Livia, draping his arm around her breasts and gently cradling her.

“It’s alright, Livia. You have nothing to be sorry for,” he comforted her.

“Then why do I feel so bad?” she asked between whimpers.

“Because you’re loyal, and you don’t know what it means to turn your back on someone,” he said as she turned to face him. “But you’re not turning your back on him, don’t you see that? You’ve been alone all this time, and now you have a chance to experience life again. Don’t waste it punishing yourself.” Kylo then kissed her shoulder and rolled over to get cleaned up as he left Livia in the bed.

She wiped away her tears as she considered what Kylo said to her. The traditional year of mourning had come and gone, and still she had stayed loyal to the memory of her late husband, but as she replayed her tryst with Kylo, she searched within herself, and she began to see that it was possible she was using David’s death as a way to avoid accepting the truth of who and what she was: a woman with a submissive nature desperate for the firm hand of a stern and loving master. Maybe it wasn’t right and it wasn’t normal, but she didn’t care. This was who she was, and she was done apologizing for it.


	11. Shake It Up

Livia rolled over, sore but satisfied and the memory of the night before came back to her, sending a rush of adrenaline through her. It had happened; she had been intimate with Kylo, it wasn’t a dream.

“Are you ready to go begin your schooling?” Kylo called to her from the refresher, a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Am I starting today?” she asked eagerly as she sat up and smiled at him, covering herself with the sheet.

“Yes,” he confirmed, getting dressed. “I’ll take you over and introduce you to your new instructor. You won’t need to work with Captain Halowin on a daily basis anymore since your language skills are up to par, at least enough to attend the Academy.”

Livia jumped out of bed, eager to finally be doing something worth her while.

“Thank you, Kylo,” she said, sounding sincere. “I know now what you meant about how difficult it was for you to ask for things from Supreme Leader for me.”

“You’re welcome,” Kylo said tightly. “Just please, don’t try to run. Do everything they ask of you, and work hard at it, just like you did with Captain Halowin.”

“I will, Kylo,” she reassured him, standing on her tippy-toes to place a light kiss on his cheek before stepping into the shower to get ready for the day.

When she came out of the refresher, she discovered that Kylo had another surprise - he had procured uniforms for her, a light gray cadet version of the uniform she saw the officers wear, only hers had no pips or insignia other than the First Order sunburst on the shoulder, for which she felt a small twinge of guilt that she was no longer sporting the flag of the United States of America. But that was okay with Livia, because she was just happy to be doing something, anything with her time that challenged her mind and made her feel useful. America was long behind her, and although she would never see it again, it would continue to live in her heart and mind…

“Before you put those on,” Kylo disrupted her daydreaming, saying “I’m sorry to have to do this to you, Livia, but this was a stipulation of the Supreme Leader.” Kylo knelt down by her naked leg, producing a slim, black band which he snapped around her ankle before she could object. At the clasp, a small light flashed intermittently, showing it was activated.

“Kylo, what is this?!” Livia protested in panic, the band reminding her of ankle monitors used on Earth to keep track of felons and other ne’er-do-wells. Seeing one on her own ankle made her anxious and ashamed as she pulled her bath towel more tightly around herself.

“It’s what you think it is,” Kylo said quietly. “I’ll be able to track your whereabouts and should you disappear, it has the ability to deliver a shock that can incapacitate you. I suggest you don’t test it,” he advised her darkly.

“But, Kylo,” she nearly cried, “I don’t want this!”

“Do you want to be able to leave quarters? Because this is the only way,” he said, his voice stern. “You made that decision the day you escaped. You have to earn our trust back before you’ll be allowed your freedom again.”

“I’ve hardly  _ had  _ any freedom since you brought me here!” she argued.

“And I can take back what little freedom you’re enjoying now, if that’s what you want!” Kylo raged at her, his finger poised threateningly in her face. “Do you want to go back to sitting around doing nothing all day, or do you want the chance to learn something useful and become a productive citizen of the First Order? That’s what you asked me for, wasn’t it?”

Livia remembered how her behavior had pushed Kylo into a corner with the Supreme Leader, and how fortunate she was to have the opportunities she did.

“Yes, I’m sorry,” she replied, chastened. “Thank you for what you’ve done for me. It’s just that on Terra, these are for bad people, people who break serious laws. It’s shameful.”

Kylo gently pulled Livia into his arms and tried reassuring her.

“Only you and I will see it.”

While Livia wanted to tear the thing off of her leg, the submissive part of her now recognized something else about the anklet; it was a leash of sorts, a way for Kylo to control her, to discipline her, to keep her under his authority, and realizing that made her wet.

Kylo sensed the flush of excitement in her and stared down at her questioningly.

“You like it, don’t you, and you’re ashamed that you like it,” he taunted her as he lifted up her chin with his thumb and forefinger, drawing her face up, but her eyes wouldn’t meet his.

“Look at me,” he commanded her.

Livia’s eyes flashed up to him through her long lashes.

“Yes, Master,” she answered, quivering.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I like it.”

“Show me,” he said, “spread your legs and let me feel how much.”

His words pushed her further into submission, and, shutting her eyes against the shame, she moved her feet apart, spreading her legs for her master’s long fingers to slip between her lips and discover the wetness there.

“Ooohhhh,” unable to hold back, she moaned softly as she grabbed onto Kylo’s shoulders to support herself, her knees weak, and Kylo put his slick fingers into her mouth.

“Suck,” he commanded her, but she had already greedily pursed her lips around his digits, her tongue lapping his fingertips clean before he pulled them out with a soft *pop*.

“Come here,” Kylo said as he pulled her behind him to sit on the sofa, exposing his manhood for her.

“Ride my cock,” he commanded her.

“Yes, Master,” Livia replied, obeying instantly as she dropped her towel to the floor and straddled his lap, wrapping her slender fingers around his rigid prick and guiding it into her taut, wet cunt with gasps of pain and pleasure. The head lodged deep inside her, rubbing her sensitive spot at just the right angle to bring moans of ecstasy from her as Kylo grasped her pert breasts in his strong hands and leaned his head back, relishing the feeling of her luscious pussy sliding up and down his throbbing erection.

“That’s it,” he encouraged her, “make your Master cum.”

“Oh, Master!” she cried out, the authoritative moniker driving her wild with desire. “Please cum in me!”

“I will, baby girl, you just need to take care of your Master and make me feel good,” his hoarse voice charged her. “Fuck me hard with that tight pussy.”

“Yes, Master,” she breathed as she continued to thrust his cock inside of herself, revelling in the feeling of serving him.

Livia was moaning uncontrollably now, and Kylo could feel her wetness flowing down over his ball sac which was swelling heavily against his buttocks. He held her firm ass in his hands, helping her slide up and down him, directing her cadence as she fucked him harder and harder while she braced herself against his shoulders.

Livia thought about the ankle bracelet she now wore, the technological restraint he now had on her, and it caused her chasm to pulsate around him, massaging his manhood with its velvety grasp. 

“I want to cum, Master, please!” Livia begged, remembering Kylo’s dictate that she needed his permission to orgasm. “I need it, my body is ready!”

“No,” he denied her breathlessly, “not until your Master cums. Your first job, before any other, is to please me.”

Whining in desperation, Livia continued to grind herself around his erection, taking it as far within herself as she could without hurting herself. “Please, Kylo,” she pleaded.

Ren slapped her hard across the face, shocking her so that she had to fight against her body’s instinct to cum in reaction to his dominance.

“You will call me Master when you’re serving me,” he demanded.

“Always, Master,” she gasped, disappointed in herself that he’d had to correct her.

“Make me cum,” he demanded of her. “Do it, now!”

Livia lifted Kylo’s hand to her mouth and put his index finger on her tongue, sucking it languidly as her eyes closed in ecstasy, remembering the feeling of his cock in her mouth, and Kylo began groaning as he held her tightly, pulling her against his chest as load after load of hot cum erupted from his penis, way up inside of her.

“Now, Livia, cum for your Master,” he breathed as his climax ebbed, and at his word, Livia’s climax followed, crashing over her like a wave of beautiful pressure exploding within. She wailed in relief as her cunt clamped down on Kylo’s still-hard cock and her body arched backwards, quivering uncontrollably as the sensation gripped her with rapture and she soon collapsed against Kylo’s chest, the final shockwaves of both their orgasms shuddering between them.

“Good girl,” Kylo praised her as she sat up to look him in the eye.

“Thank you, Master,” she sighed. “You made me cum so hard.”

“I know,” he said, pushing her off his lap and standing up. “Now, go get dressed, you have a busy day.”

~~~~~~

The trip from Kylo’s quarters to the Academy classrooms where she’d be studying was far away, as usual. It seemed that everything was far from everything else on this ship, and the trip was punctuated by Livia pulling at the collar of the stiff new uniform and readjusting her hat as she tried to memorize the path so she could make her way back.

“Stop fussing,” Kylo chastened her as the lift came to a stop, and she stepped out ahead of Kylo, who caused the two officers attempting to enter the lift after her a bit of consternation as they scurried aside for the tall Commander.

“Good morning, Commander,” they saluted him in unison and then stared after Livia with curiosity as they observed her chatting casually with Kylo Ren, the Jedi Killer.

Livia had never seen Kylo interacting with other officers except General Hux and her instructors up until now, and because Hux was a general, he didn’t have to salute Kylo.

“Should I be calling you Commander in public and saluting you now?” she asked earnestly as she tried to keep up with his long strides down the corridors of the ship.

“I’d prefer it,” he said, then whispered to her, “just as I’d prefer you call me Master in private.”

Livia blushed and felt her cunt react as she remembered the way he’d corrected her earlier.

“It’s going to be tricky having to remember all your titles,” she said jovially.

“Just be sure you don’t use the wrong one in the wrong place,” he said seriously, and she knew he meant it.

“Yes, sir,” she replied, her face sober.

“We’re here,” he said, pointing to the hallway where she was to find her instructional classroom. “Be back at quarters within a half hour of the end of class, or your monitor will go off.”

“Yes, sir,” Livia replied, Kylo’s admonition reminding her that she was still being held prisoner.

Kylo then produced a datachip and handed it to her. “This is a charge chip, it’s got credits loaded on it for meals or anything else you should need while you’re away from quarters. There should be enough in there for you to get what you need. What you  _ need _ , Livia,” he stressed to her. “Don’t spend it just to spend it.”

“But sir, I don’t know how much things should cost, how do I know how much to pay for things?” she objected.

“The best guideline I can give you is that no piece of clothing should cost you more than twenty credits, toiletries five, food two,” he advised her as he signalled at the classroom door.

When the door opened, an austere older gentleman appeared and saluted Kylo.

“Commander Ren, good morning, sir,” the instructor said, looking down his nose at Livia.

“Captain Tarvill, this is Cadet Salinsky, she’s reporting for Interstellar Studies. I leave her in your capable hands,” Kylo said, then turned and retreated down the corridor, leaving Livia facing the Captain.

Livia wasn’t sure if she should shake the captain’s hand or salute him, so she merely greeted him. “Good morning, Captain Tarvill,” she said, trying to sound confident and failing miserably. She hadn’t been this nervous since her first day of college.

“Please,” the captain said, standing aside to allow her to enter, “have a seat.”

The room was dark, the rows of seating resembling a small theater and Livia kept her gaze down as she searched for an empty desk along the front row, wanting to try to stay close to the instructor so that she could hear him as clearly as possible. She then panicked, wondering if she should have anything with her as she would have for her first day of class on Earth; a notebook, a pen, a computer? She’d brought nothing, and she dreaded being called out for failing to bring something so basic.

However, she needn’t have worried as she found an empty seat close to the podium, and she noted that every desk had a small datapad and stylus already laid out. Livia let out a silent sigh of relief as she slid into the chair, noting that the other students had removed their hats and put them on the small rack under their chair. She did the same, smoothing her hair back and noticing a rising sound of whispering behind her.

_ ‘Oh, no,’  _ she thought to herself. _ ‘Word has travelled ahead of me. How can things travel so fast on a ship this big? _ ’ She could tell from the sound of the voices that the other students were younger than her. At twenty-nine, Livia was young for an astronaut, but not young for a cadet, apparently. It reminded her of being in college and the middle-aged mothers and housewives in her classes who had returned to finish their degrees. Was that what she looked like to them?

A particularly attractive brunette slid into the seat on her right and gave her a look, her half-smile making Livia suspicious of what would come out of her mouth.

“Hi,” she said to Livia.

“Good morning, how are you?” Livia said in reply, trying to make conversation.  _ Ugh, too much! _ she berated herself.

“I’m alright. What’s your name?” the girl asked.

Livia wanted to say,  _ “You first,” _ but instead, she gave her last name. “Salinsky. How about you?”

“Salinsky? That’s a funny name, where are you from?” the girl asked, her face wrinkling in distaste.  _ Oh, crap, here we go. Just like in high school,  _ the atmosphere reminding her of the bullying she’d faced for being a nerd.

“Here and there,” Livia replied non-commitally.

A young man sat on Livia’s left and leaned forward to see around her to her neighbor.

“Go easy, Synia,” he said to the brunette, then to Livia he held out his hand. “Name’s Brin Sartan.”

Livia shook his hand, grateful for a friendly face.

“Livia Salinsky,” she said in reply.

“You look a little old for a cadet,” he replied sheepishly.

Livia blushed. “Yeah, well, better late than never, as they say.”

“Do they?” Synia asked dubiously. “Where do they say that?”

Livia realized her use of English idioms would get her in trouble if she didn’t watch it.

“It’s old,” she tried dissembling. “My grandparents used to say a lot of strange things.”

“So why are you here?” Synia asked more as a challenge and less as small talk.

“Aptitude test,” Livia said tightly, “it showed I’d be good with engineering.”

“Oh, really?” Synia said suspiciously. “I thought it’s because you’re sleeping with Kylo Ren.”

Gasps erupted from the students behind them and Synia smirked as she levelled the accusation at Livia like a weapon. The blood drained from Livia’s face as she tried to stay calm and ignore the comment as the room went silent.

“Don’t mind her,” Brin whispered to Livia, “her dad’s a colonel, she thinks everybody’s beneath her.”

Livia smiled tightly at Brin and sat at attention, not wanting to be caught chatting when it was time for class to start, which was promptly at that moment.

“Cadets, please come to order,” Captain Tarvill tapped on his podium with a swagger stick and the noise level died off as the students filled their seats. “Synia, I’d like to see you after class,” Captain Tarvill eyed the young student angrily.

The instructor began by re-introducing the course for Livia’s sake, explaining how it would be a survey of the scientific, technical and economic aspects of space exploration as well as space propulsion concepts and physics, exoplanets and astrobiology, which reminded Livia of the SETI project back on Earth.

Oh, what all of her colleagues wouldn’t give to see what she was seeing right now, she thought gleefully, excited to be able to take advantage of the opportunity. Livia finally felt she was back on solid ground so to speak - this was something she could get her teeth into, not conjugating verbs, although she thought with gratitude of the kind offer Captain Halowin had extended to her of tutoring her through any difficult terminology she might encounter.

However, Livia also realized there was a chance she could tip her hand regarding her origins if she either knew too little or too much compared to her fellow students. She would have to be judicious in her participation in class, and she wondered how much her instructor might already know about her. Lieutenant Maranna and Captain Halowin had been sworn to secrecy, so they should not have discussed any of her background with anybody else. Which made Livia wonder how Synia knew about her and Kylo…

“Miss Salinsky?” Captain Tarvill called on her.

“Yes, sir.” she startled, angry at herself that she’d been caught daydreaming.

Captain Tarvill sighed, sounding annoyed. “Shall I repeat the question?”

“Yes, please, sir,” Livia asked timidly as Synia snickered next to her.

“What are some of the drawbacks of electromagnetic propulsion?” he asked.

_ Oh, boy, _ she thought, _ I can really screw this up, one way or another. _ Livia looked at the display screen, breaking down the words he’d spoken with the ones on the visual and figured out what he was asking.

“Electromagnetic propulsion relies on a steady supply of uninterrupted energy. Any failure in the energy source can cause system-wide failure,” she responded.

The captain nodded at her silently for a moment before reacting. “Very good, Salinsky.”

Livia realized she’d been holding her breath until Captain Tarvill called on another student, and the class went on in much the same way until the signal was given for the mid-day meal break. She wasn’t sure whether to bring her datapad with her as she was afraid it would get stolen, but she noticed all the other students left theirs.

She also wasn’t sure where to go. It was already two weeks into the course by the time Livia started and there had already been a routine established among the students; who sat where, who hung out with whom. But Livia was caught between the students who would have been college freshmen had they been on Earth, and the instructor who was far too old to be her peer. Livia considered returning to quarters for lunch, but opted to head down the hallway and hide in the bathroom when Brin tapped her shoulder.

“Hey, you coming to get something to eat?” he asked.

“I think I’m going to go take a walk,” she responded.

“Don’t do that,” Brin dissuaded her. “Don’t let her do that to you.”

“Do what?” asked Livia.

“Let her intimidate you,” Brin answered. “She’s used to getting her way all the time, I’ve known her since we were kids. Are you hungry?”

Livia nodded.

“Then eat,” Brin said. “That’s what you do when you’re hungry. Come on.”

Livia smiled in gratitude and followed him to the mess hall, stepping in line behind Brin and selecting things she recognized from her meals with Kylo. But there wasn’t much that was familiar to her and she came to realize, the food she’d been eating was a much higher quality than this, but she didn’t want to point that out in front of Brin.

“Is that all you’re going to eat?” he asked.

“I ate a big breakfast,” she answered, observing the overladen tray in front of Brin. “You’re hungry, huh?” she asked.

“Starving! Old man Tarvill’s lectures are so boring I start dreaming about food mid-morning.”

As Livia and Brin found a small table near the far side of the room, there was a commotion as Synia and her girlfriends entered the mess hall. They were animated, and Synia looked none too happy, having met with Captain Tarvill after class, presumably to be scolded for her misconduct. Livia tensed, remembering what would happen in school when a student was reprimanded for bullying another student - the bullying got worse.

The rest of the day went by uneventfully, and the class was assigned a reading in vacuum engineering, which Livia was looking forward to as she was curious to see what advances had been made in this galaxy that Earth had yet to achieve.

Kylo had been sent away on a mission, Livia discovered when she returned that night, and he didn’t come back for quite a while, leaving Livia the time to study in the evenings. She’d wished she could share her enthusiasm for her classes with him, but she decided to save it all up for when he returned.

Things at the academy progressed about the same for the first week of classes, and then the second. Brin became her lunch buddy while Synia not only directed her own animosity at Livia, but she got other girls in the class to join in.

Until the day that Livia had had enough.

She came back from lunch to open her datapad where a crude photo of Kylo in a provocative pose popped up on the screen. He was naked from the waist down, holding his penis, or  _ a  _ penis, but the picture was clearly doctored as it looked nothing like the way Kylo did when he was nude, although it was enough to make Livia’s face red with shame and she heard tittering from around the room. Typed along the bottom were the words, “Do you like my cock?”

Livia wanted to jam the datapad down Synia’s throat, but instead she glared at the little bitch as she sat down next to Livia, a smirk plastered across her face. Livia leaned over to whisper to her.

“Yes. In fact, I don’t just  _ like  _ his cock, I  _ love  _ his cock. It’s delicious. It fills my cunt until I want to die, and I’d climb over broken glass to suck his cock for just five seconds.”

Synia shrank back in horror at the way Livia stood up to her.

“And by the way,” Livia added, “I can tell this picture is fake, because this is only half the size of the real one.” And she wiped the screen, dumping the picture into the erased files archive and loaded up the afternoon’s lesson, her hands shaking with the stress of the confrontation.

Synia was silent the rest of the afternoon, but the moment class let out, she bolted for the door and Livia prided herself on making Synia run away.


	12. Dangerous Type

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the tags:  
> *This chapter is violent*

That night, Livia was at the dining table, studying, when Kylo finally returned.

She was glad to see him but noticed immediately that his face was full of fury as threw his helmet down at the door, causing her to worry about what had happened on his mission. However, as he headed across the room straight for her, she realized his anger wasn’t about the mission, it was about her, and when Livia rose to greet him, he backhanded her dead across the face and knocked her to the floor, the taste of leather and the tang of copper filling Livia’s mouth as her lip split wide open and she whimpered briefly.

“Did you think I wouldn’t hear about it? I wouldn’t find out?” he shouted down at her full of rage, tearing his cloak off and casting it aside. “Get up!” he railed.

Livia was dizzy, her ear ringing as she struggled to find her footing, using the dining chair to help her stand. She finally pulled herself up to face him, holding her shaking hand over her bloody lip. She was in shock and couldn’t form a coherent reply.

“How DARE you discuss our sex life in front of everyone!” He slapped her again, now across the other cheek, the crack of his glove against her skin echoing around the room. Livia had almost anticipated him striking her the second time, and she managed to stay standing through it.

“Who do you think you are?! You’re just my whore, do you get that? You’re nothing! You don’t get to parade around in front of the crew like you’re some fucking empress or something! You don’t get special privileges because I dump my loads in you!” And with each pronouncement, Kylo stalked her backwards until she was pressed against the back of a sofa, leaning backwards and cowering from Kylo’s rage and cruel words.

“I’m sorry, Master,” she apologized, tears streaming down her face. She was confused because she didn’t think what she’d said to Synia today was even remotely what he was accusing her of. _Should I even try to explain?_ she wondered. Instead, she relied upon her submissive’s training and fell to her knees at his feet, bowing her head to the toe of his boot and grasping at his ankle. “Forgive me,” she begged of him, praying he’d have mercy on her.

“No,” Kylo said, kicking her away from him, his voice full of venom. Livia heard his belt drop and his pants being unclasped. “It’s not going to be that easy. Take off your clothes.”

Livia rose and disrobed quickly, doing everything she could to avoid incurring any more of Kylo’s wrath as she stood naked before him.

“You love my cock, huh? I wonder if you’ll love it up your ass.”

Kylo grabbed her by the arms and spun Livia away from him as she tried to process what he meant, the truth dawning on her as she began to protest in terror, knowing the damage his massive member could do as he roughly pushed her face down over the back of the sofa. Ignoring her desperate attempts to escape, he pressed the head of his engorged penis against her other entrance, the one he’d never yet used with her.

“NOOOOO!!” she shrieked in fear, but it was too late - Kylo thrust his raging hard-on into her tight hole, tearing her tender tissues as she screamed in agony, the absence of foreplay and lubrication combining to send fiery bolts of pain erupting through her as she involuntarily tried to writhe out from underneath of his punishing discipline. However, Kylo restrained her mercilessly with the Force as he began plowing her without pity, preventing her from escaping no matter how hard she tried. Livia had not had anal sex in years, and she wailed in misery, the hurt greater than she ever thought possible from such an act.

“This is the cock you said you love so much, so take it and shut up,” he commanded her angrily as he fucked her as deeply as he could get his prick into her. “Take it all, every inch of it!”

Livia tried to stifle her cries of torment, covering her mouth where she could feel her split lip, afraid that if she didn’t stop making noise, he would punish her even more while she was pinned helplessly between the massive piece of black leather furniture that was bolted to the floor and the immovable mountain that was Kylo Ren.

“This cock is your god, you will worship it,” he demanded of her as he violated her from behind. “You are never, EVER, to discuss outside of these walls what I do to you in here, am I understood?!” he berated her, punctuating his words by slamming into her with his thick phallus.

“Yes, Master,” she assented, drawing her hand away from her mouth just long enough to reply as she continued to sob.

“I am Kylo-Fucking-Ren, and I am not a subject of gossip, do you hear me?!” he shrieked.

“Yes, Master!” she babbled, tears now pooling on the slick leather of the sofa cushions.

“It’s nobody’s business how I fuck you!”

“No, Master!” she responded again, considering pleading with him for quarter but knowing he would give her none as she continued burying her sobbing deep in her throat.

“You’re lucky I fuck you! You don’t have any right to talk about what I look like, or how it feels to be fucked by me, or any of it!” he screamed, continuing to rape her from behind. “Maybe I’ll bring that girl back here and fuck her in front of you, how about that, would you like that?”

“No, Master,” Livia replied tearfully.

“Well then, don’t fucking talk about me again, you little cunt!” he threatened her as he began to beat her backside with the flat of his hand, adding a layer of suffering to Livia’s agony that she didn’t think possible as she started to hyperventilate, her vision going black as her body tried to find a way to cope with the searing pain of his thick cock impaling her.

The stimulation of spanking Livia filled Kylo’s sac and as he saw how red and hot he’d made the skin of her ass cheeks, he finally climaxed. He roared through his orgasm, pumping his cum deep inside her rectum as his gloved hands gripped painfully onto her buttocks and he drained himself inside her.

The fog of rage cleared his head and his climax subsided, but as he pulled his cock out to put it back in his pants he saw the blood on his penis, saw what he’d done to her body. Kylo was horrified. Her anus was torn and bleeding, and stretched wide from where his cock had forcefully rent her open, and she sniffled and whimpered in pain and humiliation.

“Oh, gods, Livia.”

Kylo reached over to draw her up gently by the shoulders, and the look he saw on her face made him want to retch. She looked stunned and her face was pale and immobile, her lip ruptured and swollen on one side, her cheek puffy and bruised on the other and she was shaking as her breath came in ragged gasps.

“Livia, I’m so sorry,” he apologized, cradling her as the impact of what he’d done to her began to dawn on him as his anger dissipated. He lifted her in his arms, carrying her naked, ravaged body back to his bed and he laid her there, turning the lights low before grabbing his comm unit and calling down to the medbay for someone to come attend Livia immediately.

“Livia, I’m sorry,” he repeated while he found a blanket to pull over her to keep her warm as the medic had instructed and to protect her modesty as he knew she’d want, and he realized how heartless it appeared that he still wore his gloves. He tore them off and threw them aside as he knelt next to her bedside before holding her bloody hand in his.

Livia was breathing shallowly and still couldn’t make eye contact with him. It was as if she wasn’t even there, as if her consciousness had gone elsewhere, but Kylo knew she was present - he could feel the terror and sadness she was experiencing, because he had caused it. He had been the one to drive her psyche to close in on itself to protect her from the hurt and fear he’d put her through. And all for what? His wounded pride, the embarrassment of having to hear through the ranks that Colonel Nuress’ daughter had reported that Livia was bragging to everyone in class about her relationship with Kylo.

The door signal toned and Kylo waved it open for the medical team to enter. “Doctor Zimms,” she announced herself and a nurse followed, and though they’d never been called to Kylo’s quarters under these particular circumstances, they knew better than to ask Commander Ren ‘what happened.’ They also knew better than to ask him to leave, and Kylo almost removed himself, so averse he was to seeing the destruction he’d wrought on his lover’s body, but he also knew only a coward would walk away and leave her after what he’d done. He had to stay and deal with the consequences.

Kylo turned up the lighting so they could assess their patient. “Can I help?” he asked as the doctor peeled the blanket back, but he could almost hear them saying he’d done enough damage and that he should stay away.

“Yes, can you turn her over?” the nurse asked. “Let’s put her on her side if you don’t mind,” When he did, the nurse inhaled when she saw the blood on the bedcovers. The doctor and nurse were at Livia’s back while Kylo sat with her face turned toward him so he could talk to her. “Livia, it’s going to be alright,” he tried to comfort her, holding her hand. “They’re here to take care of you, you’ll be better soon.”

Livia merely whimpered, shutting her eyes and grimacing in pain as the doctor pulled her buttocks apart to investigate where the blood was coming from. She asked the nurse for a sedative and an anaesthetic, and then advised Kylo, “We’ll need to give her stitches, in case you want to step out.”

Kylo shook his head and held on to Livia’s hand, reaching up to smooth her mussed hair and trying to soothe her. “It will be over soon, Livia, you’ll be feeling better, I promise.” Kylo was almost embarrassed to have the doctor and nurse see him this way, but he owed it to Livia.

She winced as the hypospray was applied and the sedative administered, but Kylo could tell it was working when her face began to relax, and soon she was unconscious. “How long will she be out?” he asked.

“This one will be short, just long enough to suture her up, but we can give her another to help her sleep through the night,” the nurse advised, to which Kylo nodded in agreement. “Please,” he asked. The nurse seemed surprised, wondering if Kylo Ren had ever used the word ‘please’ with anyone.

Kylo saw the doctor produce a scanner to inspect Livia’s face, then whisper “no concussion” and “nothing broken” to the nurse who was taking notes. She went on to inspect the rest of Livia’s body for any other wounds or injuries not readily apparent to the naked eye.

“You know that she’s sterile?” the physician advised Kylo as she consulted the results on the scanner.

“Yes, she mentioned that,” Kylo replied, remembering the conversation he’d had with Livia when trying to explain the Force.

The doctor was soon repairing the damage Kylo had done to Livia as he stood by anxiously, and she advised him to keep her on a liquid diet for several days. “I’ll come back tomorrow, and in the meantime, she can use these,” she informed him, handing him a vial of pain relievers.

“When can she return to duty?” he asked. The doctor seemed surprised, but Kylo knew Livia would want to be back in class as soon as possible.

“Let’s wait and see how she heals before we start making those plans,” she replied.

“Thank you,” Kylo replied. “And thank you for coming so late, all the way up here,” he said, realizing that having the medical team come to his quarters would help keep Kylo’s business confidential.

“Of course, Commander,” the doctor replied, and she and the nurse left without another word.

Kylo returned to Livia’s bedside where she lay on her side, her knees bent and her face resting on an ice pack. He reached over and tucked a lock of hair off to the side of her face, away from the sutures on her lip, while his own lip began to tremble as tears rolled down the side of his face. The guilt was an altogether unfamiliar feeling, and he nearly used a Force meditation to push it aside, but he decided he wanted to feel it, needed to experience the aftermath of what he’d done to her.

He thought he’d be able to control himself better after his experiences with Niessa and Ryelle, but the gossip had made him so angry, so embarrassed, he felt Livia had earned the punishment. But had she really? Alright, so they played their roles of master and slave, and he was truly a dominant male and she truly a submissive female, but he’d crossed a line, and he knew it. She’d trusted him to use her only so far, and he’d abused that trust, abused her, hurt her badly. Maybe hurt her permanently.

Kylo changed the bedding around her, sweeping away the evidence of her injuries, and put her in a sleep shirt before climbing in next to her and cradling her in his arms as he lay awake into the wee hours berating himself for his conduct toward her and wondering how he could face her in the morning.

Eventually, Kylo decided to find out if what he’d heard was indeed the way events with Synia had transpired and he took advantage of Livia being asleep under sedation to reach into her mind. But what he found there surprised him, for he discovered two things; that Nuress’ daughter had been bullying Livia from day one of class, prompting Livia to lose her cool when confronted with an obscene picture of himself, details that had been left out of the story he’d been told; and that Livia, for all he’d done to her, was actually in love with him. Or she had been. Kylo was sure that by the next day, that feeling would have been wiped from her heart without a trace, and the pillow on which he slept that night was soaked with the tears of shame, regret and self-recrimination…

~~~~~~

The morning found Kylo stalking down the hallways towards Livia’s classroom while she herself was still sound asleep, intent on confirming the truth of what had happened between her and Synia, and when he appeared at the doorway of the lecture hall, Kylo’s masked and caped presence sent the room into a terrified silence.

“Captain Tarvill,” Kylo growled as he stalked over to the instructor, “I want her datapad.”

The officer didn’t need to be told whose, he simply sprinted to Livia’s desk to retrieve the slim computer and handed it to the commander without a word.

As Kylo opened the small computer in front of Synia’s desk, he searched for where Livia’s mind had shown him the offending picture would be, in the erased file archive, and the girl squirmed in her seat, her former bravado evaporating as she was anticipating the inevitable confrontation. There, in the archive, was the file. When Ren pulled up the image he was sickened, knowing this was the culmination of two weeks of harassment by the snobbish bitch in front of him.

“Miss Nuress will be missing class today,” Kylo said to Captain Tarvill, who paled at Ren’s announcement while the other students shifted uncomfortably and Synia herself began to snivel.

“Yes, Commander,” the captain managed to reply. He briefly considered notifying Colonel Nuress, but he had a sinking feeling that the colonel would find out for himself very shortly.

“I want my dad,” Synia managed to choke out.

“You’ll be seeing him in person in just a moment,” Kylo said as he hauled her to her feet, his other hand still clutching Livia’s datapad as the two swept from the room.

Kylo half-guided, half-dragged the petulant young woman through the hallways of the _Finalizer_ towards the Colonel’s office where Kylo had directed him to be present this morning, not informing the man of the reason for his visit. In fact, the Colonel was genuinely surprised to find Commander Ren was entering his office with Synia in tow, so much so that he completely forgot to greet the commander and instead focused entirely on his daughter. The colonel’s face was a mixture of terror and confusion, and Kylo was enjoying the fear and duress he was imposing on the two of them, the negative emotions feeding his dark side energies.

Ren shoved Synia into a chair in front of her father’s desk, looming over her from behind as he shoved the datapad into her lap.

“Show him,” Ren commanded her, his voice barely controlled.

“Daddy!” she began blubbering.

“SHOW HIM!” Kylo raged at her as the temptation to crush her face was bubbling just under the surface.

Synia panicked and re-opened the datapad where the image popped back up to the screen before extending it toward her father, her hand shaking so badly that the colonel had to take the pad from her in order to ascertain what was displayed. There, he saw a carefully doctored picture of Commander Kylo Ren, naked from the waist down and the offensive words scrawled along the bottom.

“What… what is this? Where did this come from?” the colonel stuttered, hoping Ren’s reply would take him in a wholly different direction than the one his logic was telling him.

“Ask your daughter,” Kylo drawled out menacingly.

“Synia,” Colonel Nuress addressed the young woman in a near-whisper, “what is this?”

The cadet was now openly sobbing, unable to answer her father.

“Tell him!” Kylo demanded angrily of the girl, determined to make her confess in front of both of them.

Dropping the datapad to the desk, the colonel came around and hauled his daughter to her feet, slapping her across the face, the fear of death clear in his visage. “Answer him, now, Synia!” the colonel screamed at her in desperation.

“It was a joke!” Synia finally exclaimed. “We made the picture and sent it to Livia’s datapad! She’s sleeping with him and I was just trying to give her a hard time about it!”

All the color drained from the colonel’s face as he let her sink back into the chair where she covered her face and bawled like a toddler while her father sunk to his knee in atonement to Commander Ren.

“Commander,” he began, “I apologize profusely for my daughter’s misconduct, I-”

The colonel gasped as he watched Kylo telekinetically lift his daughter from the chair by her throat, the young woman gasping and tearing at the unseen grip around her neck that was emanating from Ren’s Force-imbued hand.

“Your tutelage of your daughter is a disappointment, Colonel,” Ren sneered menacingly at Nuress as the girl hung kicking in mid-air. “Didn’t you teach her any manners?”

“Yes, Commander!” he cried out, watching his daughter struggle to breathe. “Please, allow me to discipline her on your behalf, I will make sure she suffers for what she has done!”

“That time has passed, Colonel,” Ren informed him. “Had you done your job up to this point, we wouldn't be having this conversation, now would we?”

Colonel Nuress could not argue; his daughter’s bratty behavior had been a point of contention between himself and his wife many times over the years, with the Colonel deferring to her mother’s whims at every turn, resulting in the situation before him today.

“No, Commander,” he admitted as his precious only child’s face turned blue, and he was sickened as he watched her life slip away.

Kylo Ren’s supernatural grasp on her neck slackened and her body crumpled to the floor with a nauseating thud, the sound making Colonel Nuress flinch as he fought valiantly to maintain his composure.

“This is the only punishment I will be meting out for this offense, Colonel. I pray it’s the only one necessary,” Ren warned the officer as he retrieved the datapad from the colonel’s desk and tucked it away in his jacket.

“Yes, Commander,” Nuress assured him. “Again, you have my most sincere apologies.”

And after Ren turned his back and vanished from his office, Nuress broke down sobbing as he lifted the lifeless body of his daughter to his chest and wept.

~~~~~~

Kylo returned to his quarters to relieve the nurse he’d called to watch over Livia in his absence. He was loath to leave her alone for even a moment, wanting her every need met while he was away.

The nurse was reading next to Livia’s bedside when Kylo returned and removed his mask, and she came into the living area to greet him as he entered.

“How is she?” was his first question, his voice low so as to not wake Livia.

“She’s been sleeping since you left, sir. She’s still sedated, it seems,” she whispered.

“No problems? She’s not needed anything?” he asked anxiously.

“No, not at all. She moved around a little bit, but she appears to be resting comfortably,” she assured him, to which he seemed a bit relieved.

“Thank you,” he replied. “Please send me your designation number, I may need you again.”

“Very good, sir,” she answered and transmitted the information to him before gathering her things to go.

Kylo entered the bedroom to see Livia still lying on her side, her face soft and her breathing quiet and even, quite unlike last night when he’d abused her so badly she could hardly draw in enough air to cry out. A lump formed in his throat as he looked down at her, and his gloved hand reached out to push her hair back from her face so he could look upon the damage he had wrought.

Her upturned cheek was now black with bruising, and her lip was still swollen where the sutures were holding the skin together. Seeing what he’d done, feeling the guilt crawl coldly down his spine, Kylo fought the urge to send his fist pummelling through the wall. Unwilling to wake her with an outburst, he withheld his anger, but he needn’t have done anything other to disturb her sleep than stand over her, for she stirred softly under the soft, black blanket, wincing as the pain of her injuries greeted her consciousness.

“Oh,” she moaned softly. “Ow!”

Her eyes were glazed with pain, confusion and narcotics, and Kylo knelt down next to her to be there for reassurance. _Whatever that’s worth_ , he thought.

Livia gingerly felt her face, cringing slightly as she touched her lip and found the sutures there before she tenderly traced the outer edges of the bruise on her cheek, closing her eyes against the ache. Her hands fell back to the mattress as her eyes continued fluttering, and then popped wide open as several realizations hit her all at once.

 _What time is it?  
_ _Why do I feel so bad?  
_ _Did I come down with the flu?  
_ _I’d better get up and take my temperature.  
_ _No, this is groggy, druggy.  
_ _I’m going to be late for class.  
_ _No, wait - class.  
_ _Synia.  
_ _The picture._ _  
_ _Kylo._  
 _KYLO’S HOME._  
 _Oh, no._  
 _My body._  
 _Oh, my god, he hates me._  
 _I want to die._

Livia swallowed, trying to process everything at once when she saw Kylo out of her peripheral vision, kneeling next to the bed, and she startled, gasping in fear and trying to crawl away from him.

“No, no, no, Livia, it’s alright,” he said calmingly. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Livia licked her lips, which brought a fresh wave of pain as the sutures pulled on the tender skin.

“Let me get you some water,” he said and he stepped out to the dining area, returning with a glass into which he slipped a straw to allow her to drink more easily. He reached out to keep her prone with his hand.

“Don’t sit up,” he warned her. “Stay on your side, I’ll hold it for you.” Kylo lifted the straw up to her mouth and let her drink deeply of the water, the first she’d had in many hours.

“Thank you,” she said instinctively, though she was anything but grateful to Kylo at the moment but, feeling she needed to ingratiate herself to him for her very survival now, she apologized. “I’m sorry, Master.”

“Please, Livia,” he said, sounding pained. “You did nothing wrong, I had no excuse for hurting you, you shouldn’t apologize. _I_ should, but there’s nothing I can say to make up for what I did to you last night.”

Livia was surprised and she saw true regret in his face which softened her eyes, for there were tears in his own as his resolve threatened to fracture on him. Indeed, as he took in her reaction, he put his fist to his mouth, biting back the urge to crumble as he rose to walk away, unable to face her any longer. He retreated to the living room, closing the bedroom door behind him so she wouldn’t see him collapse on the sofa and weep like a lost child. He indulged himself for a brief moment before walking to the kitchen sink to rinse his face, trying to hide the fact that he’d been crying before he returned to Livia’s bedside to tend to her.

He tapped softly at the door and awaited her reply before touching the control to slide it aside and he saw her curled up, drinking thirstily from the glass which was nearly empty.

“Can I get you more?” he offered.

“Yes, please,” she croaked out, her voice raspy.

Kylo returned quickly and held the glass out to her again, which she took herself.

“The doctor said you need a liquid diet for a few days, and she left pain meds for you,” he informed her as he dispensed one to her from the vial to take with her water.

Livia’s drugged mind processed the need for a liquid diet, and Kylo regretfully noticed the moment she recognized why that was necessary.

“Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do for you?” Kylo asked, trying to be helpful.

Livia merely shook her head, her countenance stoic as she pulled the blanket around herself, as if it could ward off the bad feelings settling into her heart and mind.

“Livia, I’m so sorry,” Kylo said, his voice cracking as he tried not to break down again.

She couldn’t meet his eyes. All she could say was, “Thank you.”

“The doctor wants to come back and see you today to check on you,” he volunteered. “Should I call her now?”

“Yes, now is fine,” Livia consented.

After calling down to bring Doctor Zimms back, Kylo stood at the foot of Livia’s bed, afraid to leave her, afraid to stay, thereby frozen with indecision. He thought with irony that here he was, a stalwart warrior who had no trouble assessing battlefields and making snap judgments that meant life or death, but in the presence of this slight woman, he was terrified to do one more wrong thing.

He gave in to an impulse and leaned over her, placing a tender kiss against her temple, his breath brushing through her dusty blond strands. “Call me if you need anything,” he whispered as he retreated from the room, leaving the door open to listen for the slightest noise from Livia.

Livia lay back and shut her eyes, unwilling to let the past couple of days continue to replay in her head as the drugs returned her to sweet oblivion.


	13. Go Away

Livia laid on her side, letting the doctor examine her, the door to the bedroom closed as Kylo gave her some privacy.

As Livia sucked air in between her teeth, the doctor apologized. “I’m sorry,” she said in a motherly tone, “this is a very nasty tear.”

Livia closed her eyes against the memory of how she came by it, trying not to go down that path yet again. Every time she replayed it in her mind, she couldn’t reconcile what had occurred at the Academy with what Kylo had done to her. It just didn’t make sense, and she wasn’t ready to come to a decision about how she was going to move forward.

“I’m going to give you some bacta swabs to use several times a day to help speed up the healing process. You’ll probably need help applying them, so I can send you a nurse if you like,” the doctor suggested, certain Kylo had caused Livia’s injuries and unsure if he was the right person to assist with it.

“Livia, are you going to be alright here with the Commander?” the doctor asked in a whisper, regretting it almost as soon as she spoke the words, and Livia recognized the woman’s fear - it was the same fear Kylo instilled in everyone.

“Yes, thank you. I know you’re concerned, and I know why, but don’t worry,” she said softly, grateful for the woman’s concern while trying to reassure her that Livia would keep her confidence.

The woman smiled in gratitude and slipped a datachip into Livia’s pillowcase. “If you need anything, just put that in a comm unit. It will dial us, and I’ll be here immediately.”

Her kindness touched Livia, and the young woman’s resolve collapsed, leading to a wave of sobbing she could no longer hold back.

Kylo was at the door in a split second, bearing down on the doctor.

“What did you do to her?!” he screamed at the medic as she backed into a corner, frightened.

“No, Kylo!” Livia called to him between sobs, reaching for his hand. “It’s just me, I’m upset is all, please let her go!”

Kylo calmed as he took in Livia’s words and took her fingers softly between his palms. “I’m sorry,” he apologized to the doctor uncomfortably, “you’d better go.”

As the doctor gathered her things and fairly ran from the suite, Kylo knelt at Livia’s side, cupping her face in his large hands, trying to brush away her tears without hurting her, shushing her sad whimpers.

“Livia, it’s going to be alright,” he tried to comfort her, but her crying continued, the wall broken down and her sorrow and pain taking her over. Kylo could feel it and reached out through the Force to share in it with her so that he couldn’t hide from what he’d done. He deserved to feel it all, to have to face the ramifications of his actions.

And then Kylo began crying as well, though he stayed silent, his shoulders shaking as her pain washed over him, and when her tears started to subside, she looked over to find his head bowed and tears falling silently from his face. Finally, he sniffed, his hand covering his face as he rose and walked away without looking back at Livia. She heard him dial the comm and speak to someone.

“This is Commander Ren… yes…. I need you to come sit with her… alright.”

There was silence in the quarters for several minutes until Livia reached for a handkerchief and blew her nose. She heard water running in the kitchen and Kylo returned to the bedroom door, his face puffy. As he leaned tiredly against the doorway, he looked down. “I’m bringing the nurse back to sit with you, I have to go out,” he announced. “I won’t be long.”

“Okay,” Livia replied, disappointed he was leaving her but also a bit relieved before she asked weakly, “Can you have Captain Tarvill send my schoolwork?”

Kylo gave a snort as he smiled. “I knew you’d want to get back to work right away. Alright, I will. Do you need anything else? Is there anything I can bring you?”

It had been eons since Livia had eaten any, and she hadn’t even thought to ask.

“Do you have ice cream?”

Kylo shook his head, confused. “What’s eyes cream? For your face?”

“No,” she said, disappointed, “nevermind. It’s a dessert, you make it with milk and flavoring and sweetener, and you freeze it.”

Kylo smiled at another one of her strange Terran customs. “That sounds disgusting,” he laughed.

“It’s delicious,” she smiled back, “I bet you’d love it. I’ll make you some one day.”

The idea of Livia wanting to do anything for him, at any time, especially in the future, sent him into another crying jag and he had to duck behind the doorway to hide his sorrow from her, but he couldn’t contain his ragged sobs as he went to sit on the couch and bury his face in his cloak. 

Livia knew a man’s pride was a delicate thing, and she was loath to make him face her, so she stayed in bed and let his episode pass, pretending she didn’t hear it. When the door toned at the nurse’s arrival, he rose to wash his face in the sink again before he greeted her, escorting her to the bedroom.

The nurse was shocked at his appearance but tried to hide her reaction at his sorrowful face.

“I have to go out, please sit with Livia and give her anything she asks for. If she has any problems, please call me and I’ll return immediately,” he instructed her before bending over Livia to kiss her forehead lightly. “Call if you need anything, I’ll be back with your classwork.”

“Thank you,” Livia whispered, watching him leave.

The nurse was quiet before taking a seat next to Livia and inquiring after her, and the two made small talk for a short while.

“Would you like a shower?” the nurse asked.

“Can I take one?” Livia seemed unsure, afraid the water might sting the open wound.

“Yes, it’s probably best before we apply more bacta,” the nurse replied, aware of the doctor’s treatment plan.

Livia nodded her assent as the nurse helped her up from the bed and use the refresher. Livia was grateful for the warm water that soothed her sore body and she washed carefully over her skin. Feeling clean made her feel much better and she settled back into the bed where the nurse applied the bacta treatment to help speed her healing.

“Will this ever be fully healed?” Livia asked.

“I’m not sure,” the nurse said, not wanting to give Livia the wrong answer. “The doctor would know best, I can ask her to talk to you about it.”

But Livia was pretty sure she knew, even if her body healed, her soul would never be right again.

~~~~~~

Kylo defeated every single scenario in the training room, venting his anguish and guilt with his lightsaber, wrecking every practice sphere and sparring droid until he coughed from the amount of smoke left in the saber’s wake.

“I thought I’d find you in here,” Vicrul said as he found Kylo having a tantrum by himself. “Have you had enough?” Vicrul taunted him.

“Why don’t you come find out?” Kylo retorted.

The duel began, the two men circling each other and then a mighty crash ensuing as they joined in combat, Kylo hacking recklessly at his comrade while Vicrul deftly deflected Kylo’s blows.

“Got something going on in your head, kid,” Vicrul lobbed the accusation at Kylo who ignored it and continued trying to best his foe.

“You’ve let her get to you, I warned you-” and Vicrul found himself at the mercy of a rain of blows coming from Kylo’s fury, the slashing of the lightsaber pressing home the fight until Kylo had Vicrul up against the wall with the saber’s blade at his throat and Kylo panting and sweating as Vicrul had never seen him before.

“You know nothing!” Kylo raged at the older man. “Let it be!” Kylo stepped away and shut down his blade, hoping Vicrul would leave him alone.

“If you pursue this, if you let her into your heart, you’re going to lose everything,” Vicrul warned him. “You cannot have both war and woman as mistress.”

“GET OUT!” Ren exploded at the knight and began destroying what was left of the room while Vicrul made his escape, leaving the young man alone to wear himself out. Finally exhausted, Kylo collapsed on the floor and wept behind the locked door of the room where he would be seen by no one but himself.

~~~~~~

Livia lay healing in quarters and watching Captain Tarvill lecture remotely during her third week of school as Kylo hovered over her worriedly when he wasn’t in meetings, making for awkward days in the quarters they continued to share. Livia stayed in the bedroom, Kylo stayed in the living room, and the tension was palpable.

After he’d been away one day, Kylo returned with a strange request.

“Livia, are you awake?” he called softly from the entranceway.

“Yes,” she called back, sitting up in bed where she was working on a research paper.

“Close your eyes,” he said, his voice sounding strange and in a tone Livia had never heard from him before.

“Okay, they’re closed,” she said. She listened intently, trusting he wouldn’t do anything untoward, but on alert for any sudden movement from him as she listened to his heavy footfalls walking slowly toward her.

Kylo entered the bedroom, his hands shaking with what he was about to do. “You can open your eyes now.”

Kylo Ren looked altogether nervous as he came to her bedside carrying the biggest bouquet of flowers Livia had ever seen, and her mouth dropped open in astonishment.

“Here,” he said, awkwardly extending them to her as if it was the first time he’d brought a woman flowers, because it was. “I thought you might like these. I don’t know if this is something you do on Terra, but I wanted to bring you something to cheer you up…” his voice trailed off as he tried to find the right words to go with his offering and he laid the mass of pink and purple blooms in her waiting arms.

Livia couldn’t speak as she cradled the immense bouquet of delicate blossoms like a baby. “Oh, Kylo,” she finally gushed, and silence fell between them.

Kylo coughed to cover his discomfort. “I hope they’re still fresh, they had to travel in the cockpit with me back from Coruscant,” he explained, chafing self-consciously.

“They’re beautiful, thank you so much,” she whispered, looking up at him in awe. “What are they? I don’t know any of the flowers here.”

“The pink ones are Alderaanian cherry blossoms, they were my mother’s favorite, but the rest I had the florist help me pick out,” a blush spreading across his face before something dawned on him. “Oh, dammit, I don’t have a vase, what was I thinking?”

“It’s okay,” Livia placated him. “I just want to hold them for a minute, anyway,” she said as she admired the pretty purple ribbon and inhaled the fragrance of the lush flowers, tears creeping into the corners of her eyes as she buried her face in the stems and tried to hide her weeping amongst the petals.

“Please don’t cry, Livia,” Kylo pleaded. The two of them had been on tenterhooks for the past week, speaking politely to each other but unable to broach the conspicuous topic they had both been avoiding. Suddenly, the gesture of Kylo’s lovely gift broke the wall down between the two of them.

“I’m so sorry,” Kylo apologized once again, his lip trembling as he sat next to her on the bed where he hadn’t slept in weeks, his hand resting tentatively on her leg while Livia reached for a handkerchief, her cheeks full of tears as she clutched the flowers, Kylo’s peace offering, unwilling to put them down.

“Livia, I confronted Synia and her father,” he said softly. “I had to, after what I saw, what I found out.”

“What?” she asked, confused by his statement.

“When you were sleeping, after… the surgery,” the word sticking in his throat, “I saw the confrontation in your memory, how Synia had treated you the entire time you were in class. I didn’t know,” he said, his statement sounding like a plea. “That’s when I went to your classroom and retrieved your datapad from Captain Tarvill.”

“And you saw it,” she confirmed, her face cast down, remembering the awful picture. “I was being sarcastic, I was mad at her, I didn’t mean for any of it-”

“Shhh, no, please don’t explain, you don’t owe me an explanation, Livia,” he hushed her, not wanting her to spend one more moment in discomfort over the entire situation. “I never, ever should have treated you the way I did. You’re special to me,” he said, brushing his calloused thumb over her good cheek, avoiding her split lip that was still healing. “And I betrayed your trust, I hurt you, I- I raped, oh, gods,” he choked as he admitted to his faults, “I raped you, and I’m so sorry!” he shuddered as his guilt tore him apart.

Kylo’s pain tugged at Livia’s heart, and she couldn’t stand seeing him this way any longer. “I know you regret what happened, Kylo,” she said as she laid her hand on his arm. “You’re not an evil man, I know you’re not.” She paused, not knowing she was prepared to tell him what came next. “And I forgive you.“

Kylo broke down weeping at her mercy, trying to hide his weakness from her but unable to move as she stroked his ebony locks, and with great effort, he pulled himself together to face her once again.

Seeing Kylo had mostly recovered, Livia took a deep breath before she made her next observation, not wanting to prompt his ire. “But your anger is consuming you.”

“I’m coming to see that, Livia,” he agreed. “It’s been at the core of me for so long, I don’t know any other way to live.”

“We’ll find a way,” she comforted him.

Livia was suddenly very tired, and as she lay back, she offered the flowers back to Kylo.

“If you have a pitcher big enough, they’ll probably be okay in there,” she smiled at him and he smiled back before kissing her forehead and heading into the kitchen to set them in water. When he returned, Livia had fallen asleep, her datapad lying on her lap and her head tilted to the side. Kylo set the flowers on her nightstand and shut the light, letting her body get the rest it so desperately needed.

~~~~~~

The following week found Livia back in the classroom, although her appearance at the doorway the first time she returned caused a level of consternation for which she wasn’t prepared. Brin wouldn’t speak to her; in fact no one but Captain Tarvill would address her, but she kept her head down and minded her business, attending to her schoolwork which was the only thing she truly cared about at the moment.

She ate her meals in the mess hall alone, she studied alone, and she worked alone, even when an assignment was intended to be a team effort, for no one wanted to risk the chance that they would say something to Livia that would incur the wrath of Kylo Ren, and finally understanding what was behind Kylo’s response to her and to Synia, she understood why.

In the meantime, Kylo and Livia had reached a détente, eating meals together and sharing details about their day until Livia finally implored Kylo to return to his bedroom where he belonged. He hadn’t spent a full night in his own bed since the day the Supreme Leader had ordered her to be housed with him, and she couldn’t in good conscience watch him sleep on the cold, hard sofa any longer.

As Livia changed for bed, Kylo asked, “Would you put on some, you know, like, a shirt, or something,” he mumbled.

She looked down at her tank shirt and panties, and realized her state of undress would present an uncomfortable situation for him. Sleeping next to her, seeing her so exposed, would likely arouse him, and she could tell he wasn’t ready to feel that way toward her.

“Sure,” she replied, and reached into a drawer for one of his old tunics, pulling it on over her head.

“That’s not much better,” he complained, her long legs enticing him as his cock became erect and he turned away from Livia to pull his shirt down over his groin, his sleep pants hiding nothing.

“Come here,” she asked him gently as she lay down in the bed.

“No, Livia, I can’t do this,” he said as he changed his mind about sleeping with her, and grabbed a pillow as he turned to leave the bedroom, intending to sleep on the sofa again.

“Kylo, please don’t leave me alone anymore,” she asked, her plea stopping him in his tracks.

Kylo reached down to adjust himself, his erection painful as he fought against the desire swelling within him.

“I'll take care of you,” she offered.

“Livia, you don’t know what you’re saying,” he said over his shoulder, looking to where she lay in his bed, her head propped up on her arm, her legs bent in a sultry pose. His breath started coming in jagged bursts.

“I’m a grown woman. Yes, I do,” she argued with conviction.

“I can’t, Livia,” he said before he reached for the controls to close the bedroom door between them, but Livia stopped him.

“Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order, Apprentice to the Supreme Leader, you need to get your ass in this bed,  _ now _ ,” Livia said, channelling her Italian heritage.

Kylo’s jaw dropped.  _ The fuck with this girl? _ he thought in disbelief.

“Are you coming or not?” she asked.

“Livia,” he warned her as he lay down next to her, “I can’t promise if I lay in this bed with you tonight that I won’t try to have sex with you.”

“That’s what I’m counting on,” she said as she put her lips to his, kissing him deeply, favoring the soreness in her lip, though she no longer needed to worry about the stitches which were thankfully gone.

Kylo groaned, disbelieving his cock was able to get any harder but amazed when it did.

“Livia, you have to stop,” he begged her. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” she encouraged him. “Don’t you want me?”

“Oh, gods, yes,” he grunted in desperation as he rolled toward her, “I just can’t, not after what I did.”

“You have to stop thinking about it, or this,” she placed a hand on each of their hearts, “means nothing.”

Kylo took her hands in his, admiring how her hair fell in silky waves over the pillow, her pert nipples poking at the material of his shirt she was wearing as pajamas.

“Why are you taking a chance on me, Livia?” he asked, bewildered.

She ran her fingers through his jet black hair, and traced her finger down his cheek before she laid her small hand along his stubbled jawline.

“Because when you didn’t know who I was, when I couldn't even speak to you, when you had to stand up for me in the face of the Supreme Leader, you took a chance on  _ me _ .”

_ She still loves me, _ he thought with amazement.  _ How can that be? _

Kylo felt a surge of something he hadn’t since he was a boy, and it frightened him, so much so that he was overcome by the urge to escape, to fight, to lash out, and though he fought with everything he had not to give in to it, eventually, his face hardened and he rose from the bed, dressing hurriedly as Livia tried to stop him.

“Kylo, what is it? What did I say?” she begged of him.

“Go away, Livia,” he said darkly.

“But Kylo-” 

“Get away from me!” he yelled in her face. “I’m not who you think I am, I’m a monster! I killed her, Livia! I killed that little bitch who was tormenting you!” .

“Synia?” she asked softly.

“Yes! I choked her to death, right in front of her own father!” he screamed.

Livia stood in shock, watching as Kylo finished fastening his boots, and he palmed his helmet as he left their quarters without a look backward for her.

She realized now, that was why - why her classmates would have nothing to do with her, why everyone was afraid of her. They thought Livia was an extension of Kylo, and by crossing her, they would be in serious jeopardy. And every minute she spent with Kylo was keeping her from being able to connect with anybody else in her entire, small world.


	14. Fine Line

Kylo sat in his dark office, watching the nebula outside his window and fighting the swirl of emotion rising within him. The light inside of his soul was fighting for its place outside the darkness, and he was consciously doing all he could to snuff it out lest it jeopardize everything for which he’d sacrificed since leaving the Jedi temple. What Kylo could not admit to himself was that he was having to consciously battle against the light within himself, to maintain a never-ending vigil to keep it in check, to tamp it down hard before it broke through and forced him to burn away the veneer of evil to which he was clinging by his fingertips every hour of every day.

And what was fueling that light was love.

If he let Livia in, he was shutting everything else out. The light would ascend and cast out the dark, and then where would he be? Like Vicrul said, he’d lose it all, everything he’d worked for, and he’d find himself alone if not tortured and dead.

Desperate for a voice of reason, Kylo dialed the signal key of an old friend.

“Pryde here,” a female voice came over the comm unit.

“Ellie,” Kylo’s voice rasped out.

“Daddy? Wait, Kylo, is that you?”

“Yes, it’s me, Ellie. How are you?” he asked.

“I’m good, but you sound terrible. What’s going on?” she asked, sounding sincerely concerned for him.

“Mind if I come talk to you about it?” he replied.

“No, as a matter of fact, I wanted to talk to you, too. I have something for you to look at,” she answered.

“I bet you do,” he joked.

“Very funny, you should be so lucky!” Ryelle replied, and Kylo could hear her smile in her voice. “But are you sure you want to come all the way out here? I’m on a dig in the Saurbi system.”

“Send me your coordinates, I’ll head out first thing tomorrow morning,” he said, looking forward to seeing her again.

As Kylo sat meditating in lieu of sleep that night, his mind and soul fought for a balance they had never known.

~~~~~~

Livia was sitting in a lecture on hyperdrive mechanics while trying to ignore the empty seat to her right where Synia used to sit. Brin was no longer on her left, having moved to another seat elsewhere in the lecture hall, leaving Livia surrounded by empty desks, she and Captain Tarvill a pair floating in the middle of an audience.

Livia could tell, despite her efforts otherwise, that her presence disturbed and unsettled not only Captain Tarvill but the other students as well. However, she stayed focused on her studies, so fascinated she was by the concepts she felt lucky to be learning. For her to be able to discover advanced concepts of interstellar space flight in her lifetime was extremely gratifying.

Kylo, however, had been gone for some time, never having returned to their quarters since the night she’d tried to convince him to rejoin her in the bed. She wondered now if she’d pushed him too far, too soon. She didn’t know how to handle him, couldn’t figure out how he thought or what he needed. He was stubborn but could be capricious, loyal but aloof. And there was something else she was beginning to believe about Kylo Ren - she was afraid she had fallen in love with him.

Livia castigated herself over her feelings. She should still be holding a candle for her late husband, and how, after the way Kylo had treated her, could she possibly love him? But all the signs were there; the loss of appetite, the way she inhaled every time she thought she saw or heard him, the near-constant presence of him in her mind. In fact, thoughts of Kylo were distracting her in class as Captain Tarvill asked her to reply to his question on propulsion mechanics.

“Livia, did you hear me?” he asked as he tapped his swagger stick on the podium.

“I’m sorry, Captain, no,” she admitted. “Would you please repeat the question.”

A student behind her snorted, and Livia ignored the jab.

“I was asking if you could tell me which types of fuels can be used in hyperspace propulsion?” he repeated.

“Um,” she began, “There’s solar, hypermatter, anthracite, and Rhydonium?”

“And Peragium,” he corrected her.

“Yes, Peragium, thank you sir,” she replied.

“Thank you sir!” a student mocked her from the back as his neighbor nudged him to stop, but Livia stayed silent and Captain Tarvill did as well.

She had figured out that the captain would no longer call students out or keep them after class when they misbehaved toward Livia in order to protect them from Kylo, because he understood Livia would tolerate their behavior. She would rather accept an overall level of discomfort in the classroom than live with the guilt of someone being killed for insulting her. Up until now, she had generally been left alone, but the persistent unrest in the classroom was creating an atmosphere of tension that was aggravating the situation. Nevertheless, she kept her head down for the rest of the class, returning to the still-empty quarters where she ate alone every night.

~~~~~~

Kylo’s shuttle settled on the hard plains of Susevfi after its long flight from the Ileenium system. He could see the digsite where Ryelle had described it, and he became a bit nervous as he thought of seeing her again. The last time they laid eyes on each other was many months ago, before Livia had appeared and turned his world upside down. It would be good to see someone who knew him and didn’t judge him as harshly as he judged himself.

He remained on the ship and dialed Ryelle’s communicator, but saw she was already on her way to him as he looked out the front canopy, and as soon as the ramp hit the ground, Ryelle was bounding up it and launching herself into Kylo’s arms, taking him totally off-guard.

“Kylo!” she cried out excitedly, hanging from his neck as he bent over so he could set her feet back on the floor.

“Hi, Ellie,” he laughed lightly into her dark, well-coiffed hair.

As she let go of him and looked up in his helmet-less face, she was concerned. He looked nearly as bad as he did before he’d gone through withdrawal those many months ago. His eyes were tired and there were dark smudges underneath, and he looked as if there were a great burden on his spirit.

“Kylo, you look…” she tried to form an observation but her voice died out before she could.

“Yeah,” he replied, knowing what she was seeing. “Things have changed a lot since you left.”

“Sounds like it,” she said. “What’s going on?”

Sitting across from each other in the cockpit, Kylo related the tale to Ryelle about how he’d found Livia, how they knew nothing about where she came from, and how she’d been instructed in Basic and was now learning Stellar Engineering. He also confided in her about the episode of the datapad and her classmate, and his mistreatment of Livia, at which point he broke down, Ryelle rubbing his back as he hunched over and hid his tear-stained face from her.

“I think she has feelings for me, Ellie,” he sighed, sounding like it was a curse and not a blessing.

“Do you blame her?” Ellie asked, sympathizing with Livia but also a bit envious of her. “You’re her whole world, she has no one else.”

“I know,” Kylo said, “that’s the problem.”

“Why is that a problem?” Ellie asked.

“Because, I can’t- I just don’t- dammit,” Kylo stammered, fingers raking through his hair as he tried coping with his frustration. “What am I supposed to do with her? I can’t send her home and I can’t abandon her either.”

Ellie sat back and looked at him in disbelief.

“Kylo Ren, you’re in love.”

At that, Kylo shot out of his seat and began stalking the hold of the ship, feeling cornered by the truth and unable to escape it any longer now that it had been so plainly pointed out to him.

“No,” he mouthed the denial but it came without a measure of conviction. “I can’t be, I don’t care that much about her.”

“You just flew half-way across the galaxy to talk to me about somebody you’re known for a few months,” she said. “What do you call it?”

“It’s more than that,” Kylo sighed, sitting back down with her, leaning in toward Ryelle and speaking earnestly. “My life can’t be like this, Ellie. My commitment is to the First Order. I know you understand what that means.” Kylo reminded Ellie of how she also had kept her commitment to the First Order a priority in her own life.

“Where will you be in twenty years?” she asked softly.

“Dead?” he joked.

“Really, Kylo. Think about what you want from life. What have you been working toward all this time?” she asked.

“I’ve been trying to see my grandfather’s plans through to completion. Domination of the galaxy, complete and total rule for peace. There’s no room for a woman in there,” he replied emphatically.

“So, then go execute those plans, take over the galaxy. What’s the problem?” she challenged him.

“Because inside, I’m at war with myself,” he whispered. “Part of me wants to embrace the feelings I have when I’m with her, to walk away from the malevolence and avarice that I’ve found myself surrounded by, to reach out for the peace and innocence that I’ve only seen glimpses of in my life, that I feel when I’m around her, but I don’t know how, I’m-” he choked himself off, unwilling to admit his fear to Ryelle, but she could sense it, even without the Force.

“I may have something for you,” she said, “what I was telling you about. Come with me,” she rose, beckoning him to follow.

The two walked slowly toward Ryelle’s tent where she had been living the past few months as she shared with Kylo what she’d learned, what she was doing, how much she enjoyed her work compared to the FOSB.

“So we’ve been performing this excavation of what we thought was an old Sith site,” she said, “but after what we found, we’re beginning to rethink that. There are some really interesting items here, and I think you’re going to want to see them.”

Pulling aside the flap of her tent, Ryelle showed Kylo to a table covered with old texts, some bound with sinew, some with twine, some were scrolls, and many were crumbling.

“Kylo, all of these were found at the dig site over the past few months. They contain symbols that seem to be related to Jedi _and_ Sith activity, but we can’t translate them. Are you familiar with any of these?” she asked.

He reverently lifted a book from her hand, carefully turning the cover and the inside pages with a single finger as he recognized symbols, terms and other scrawlings he’d seen before.

“Yes,” Kylo said, “these are the works of Gray Jedi.”

“What does that mean, ‘Gray’ Jedi, I thought there were only ‘Jedi’?” she asked.

“Many years ago there were Jedi who were unhappy with the Order and decided that some of the Sith teachings that had been hidden from them held value as much as those of the Jedi. They left the Order to go out on their own, and while they flourished for a time, they eventually lost power and died out. But these are fascinating,” he said with fascination. “May I?” he asked as he indicated a scroll.

“Please,” Ryelle answered, relieved that he was intrigued by everything and was excited to have his help translating some of them.

“How long can you stay?” she asked.

Kylo’s eyes never left the page. “I don’t know,” he replied. “If you need me, I’ll stay as long as you need.”

His answer pricked at Ryelle’s heart. She still had a soft spot for him, and it was difficult not to feel excitement at his words, but she knew he meant it from a professional standpoint, and she told herself to keep her mind on the work and not allow herself to have designs on him. He was in love with another woman, and she would do nothing to stand in the way of it.

~~~~~~

The day had come when Livia could work by herself no more. The course had come to a point where the students were required to perform an overhaul of a hyperdrive engine, and it couldn’t be done alone.

“Sartan, you’re with Salinsky,” Captain Tarvill said, brushing past his announcement to move on to the other teams he’d assigned, hoping his pairing of Livia would get lost in the bustle of other names being announced. Three young ladies, one of whom would have normally been paired with Synia, were grouped all together.

As they moved into the mechanical shop, Livia hung back with Captain Tarvill, allowing the other students to file in ahead before she met Brin at their assigned workstation. He didn’t speak to her at first, and she wasn’t sure what to say. The silence became so awkward, Livia broke the stalemate.

“I’m sorry about your friend Synia,” Livia whispered as they set to work following the schematics.

Whipping around to look at her in disbelief, Brin snapped, “Are you? Are you really?”

“Yes,” Livia said firmly. “I took no joy in her death.”

“Well, your boyfriend did,” he sniped at her.

“Get it out,” she encouraged him.

“What?” he sputtered.

“Say it all, say everything that’s bothering you, get it over with,” she said, “so we can get back to work.”

The young man looked at her in anger. “She didn’t deserve to die,” Brin hissed at her.

“No, she didn’t,” Livia agreed.

“So why did you do it?” he asked.

“Do what?” Livia asked, confused.

“Report her. You could have let it go, it was a joke,” he accused her.

“I didn’t.”

“Then how come he came down here and yanked her out of class and murdered her?” Brin whispered.

“He found out through other channels. In fact, he found out because of _you_ guys and all your chatter,” she said, punctuating her words by pointing her finger at him. “And let me tell you something else, it cost me as well because he thought I was spreading gossip about him. Why do you think I was out for several weeks?”

The news took the harshness out of Brin’s attack. “So why are you with him, Livia?” he challenged her.

Livia thought for a moment. It was because she had nowhere else to go, wasn’t it? Or was there another reason; the reason she’d asked him to come back to the bed, to share the space with her where she was most vulnerable?

“I don’t know,” she finally replied, busying herself with the mechanisms in front of her.

Brin quieted as they followed the diagrams, reassembling the hyperdrive, the two of them speaking only enough to complete the tasks at hand. He had given Livia a lot to think about, and his question preyed on her mind while they worked. She also thought about Kylo, where he was while he was away and when he might be back, and the idea of him returning made her afraid considering how things had gone the last time he’d arrived home from an assignment.

“Are you alright?” Brin finally asked her.

“I am now,” she answered softly.

Brin took in her words as she positioned a part while he soldered it in place.

“Thanks for asking,” she said, giving him a slight smile.

“Just be careful, Livia,” he said, one more person driving home the danger of Kylo’s violent nature.

Livia _was_ trying to be careful, and on two fronts - to guard her physical safety, and to guard her heart, and she came to the realization she was failing on both accounts.

~~~~~~

Kylo was hunched over a desk in Ryelle’s tent, the translations coming slowly, and as each page was turned, concepts were revealed to Kylo, concepts that spoke of strength and weakness, life and death, good and evil, hate and love. The pages revealed ideas that were totally foreign to him, things that had never been taught to him during his formative years, and he felt cheated, much the same way these Gray Jedi must have felt toward the Order.

Slowly, he came to see that there were ways he could perceive his place in the Force without absolutes - without the rigidity of the ways Luke had raised him, without the soul-consuming corruption of the methods through which Snoke had indoctrinated him, and the secrets within were laying out a path to freedom he had never considered to be a possibility. Kylo’s world was expanding in ways he’d never thought imaginable, and it was beginning to change his perceptions of his future.

“How’s it coming?” Ryelle asked when she came back to her tent after filing her reports for the day.

“I’ve been over almost everything you left me, I’ve just got these two left to go through,” he said as he indicated a book and a scroll.

“I can’t tell you how much it’s meant to me to have you here to help us with that,” Ryelle thanked him as she draped her arm across his shoulder. She sensed him tense up at her touch, and she knew the days of intimacy between them had ended. She was sad, but she also knew the day would have come eventually.

Picking his head up from one of the tomes to look at her, Kylo said, “I’m learning so much, things I wish I’d known years ago. The course of my life could have been so different.” His face was bitter with regret.

“It’s not too late,” she said to him, putting her hand softly on the arm with which he was writing. Ryelle had become a voice of conscience for Kylo since she’d helped him through his spice addiction. She’d seen him at his weakest point in his life, and she’d proven herself trustworthy and a confidante. “What can you do with what you’ve learned?”

Kylo looked up at her, the anguish and pain in his heart keeping him from voicing his deepest desires.

“I would love to bring order and peace to the galaxy,” he said. “True peace, not this fake stalemate among the star systems.”

“Then do it,” Ryelle said, squeezing his arm. “If there was any man born of woman who could set the galaxy right, it is you, Kylo.”

Something about the way Ryelle spoke to him and touched him made him want to take her, right then and there, and he swiveled around in his seat to gather her in his arms, pulling her between his legs as he held her close to him.

“Kylo, no,” she said softly, pressing away from him, her hands on his shoulders. “I love you. You’ve known I’ve loved you since we were on Daxam Four, but I know that although you care about me, you don’t love me, and I can’t do this. You love someone else and I can’t lie in your arms knowing you’re thinking of her.”

Kylo’s face fell, for he knew she was right, and he reached down to lift one of her hands to his lips, pressing his pert, red mouth to her soft knuckles.

“You’re a good woman, Ellie, you always have been. You’re going to make someone a good wife one day,” he replied, letting her go.

“Ha! Not if Daddy has anything to say about it!” she laughed.

“Why?” Kylo asked as he returned to translating the large book lying in front of him.

“Because he seems to think General Hux would make an excellent husband,” Ryelle rolled her eyes.

“Hux?! He’s mad,” Kylo commented, “the only thing Hux is good for is a rabid guard dog. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen one way or another.”

Livia laughed and the two of them bantered back and forth about their personal lives late into the evening, and when Kylo had finished the translations by the next day, he packed to leave, thanking Ryelle.

“I’m the one who should be thanking you,” she said, “I only hope the copy of the translations you’re taking will be helpful to you, as well.”

“They’re priceless, Ellie,” he said, leaning forward and placing a tender kiss on her forehead, “just like you.” Kylo winked at her as he strode up the ramp of his shuttle, powering it up for take-off.

Ryelle walked back to the dig site and turned to watch Kylo’s shuttle depart, feeling a bit of her heart going with him but knowing it was in good hands. She only prayed he’d find the answers he needed so that he could give a piece of his heart to someone special as well.


	15. Take What You Want

When Livia returned from class the next day, she could tell Kylo had returned from his mission. There was a certain tremor in the air from the personnel aboard the  _ Finalizer _ , and she caught the gaze of several people on the way back to quarters as they cast surreptitious glances at her when she made her way quickly down the corridors. She felt the ankle bracelet chafe at her as she walked the hallways, and she resented how she was still fettered by it, its threat of pain and immobilization never far from her mind any time she was not in quarters or the classroom.

The door to his rooms swished quietly aside, and Livia saw Kylo’s duffel was dumped unceremoniously by the front door. The refresher door was open and she could hear the water in the shower running.

“Kylo?” she called into the bedroom, wanting him to know he was no longer alone, hesitant to surprise him. “I’m back from class.”

“Livia?” he slid aside the door to the massive shower to lean out and call to her.

“Yes, it’s me,” she answered, blushing to see his slick stature standing in the cascade of steaming hot water. “I didn’t want to startle you.”

“No, I was expecting you,” he said, “in fact, I was hoping you’d join me.” His face was soft and inviting, and she was sorely tempted when she realized he’d asked her, not commanded her.

“Alright,” she replied, and he closed the door while she disrobed.

When she reopened the door, he was rinsing away his hair cleanser, the bubbles sliding down his pectoral muscles, and she gaped at the way his entire torso rippled with strength and glistened under the water. She also looked down at her ankle, the blinking light attracting her attention and taking her out of the moment. It forced her to remember she was still a prisoner, no matter what else was going on around her, no matter how incredibly sexy this man was.

Kylo’s hands reached out and grasped her waist, pulling her close to his hot skin, the water trickling between them now.

“I missed you,” he said softly and seriously as his eyes pierced hers. It was the first time he’d ever said such a thing to her upon his return from a mission.

She had trained herself not to depend upon him, not to hang any of her feelings or hopes on his comings and goings, and she didn’t want to lie and tell him she’d missed him as well.

“I’m glad you’re back safe,” she said with honesty.

“Did you miss me?” he asked, searching her face.

She didn’t answer right away, but then told him, “I’ve learned not to, Kylo.”

His face reflected the genuine hurt he felt as he noted she seemed more somber since he left. “What do you mean?” he asked.

She gauged her words carefully. “You’re gone so often, and you don’t tell me where, or when you’re leaving or coming back, and I can’t let my feelings get caught up in where you are at any given time. I never know if the next time you leave, it will be the time you don’t come back alive.”

Kylo looked surprised, as if he had never given any thought to the effect his frequent absences had on Livia; how she might have waited for him, worried about his well-being, never knowing any of the particulars of his sojourns. The water splattered against the walls and floors of the shower in the silence between them.

But the floodgates were now open for Livia. She was no longer able to endure the stress of losing her homeworld, the tense environment in her classes, the shame of the ankle bracelet, and the disregard Kylo showed her between raping her, beating her and making her feel like a second-class citizen.

“Like, when you come back and you shower right away,” she went on, “are you washing away the blood of your enemies or the smell of another woman? But it doesn’t matter, because I don’t have any rights to you; but you have all the rights to me, simply because I had the bad fortune of you finding me, and I had no way to defend myself. You know what,” she said, suddenly exasperated, exiting the shower and pulling her clothes back on over her damp skin. “I’m sick of this. Beat me, kill me, throw me in the detention center, I don’t care anymore.” And she stamped off to the living room and sat in front of the viewport window, watching the stars fly by before she bent her head in her hands and cried her eyes out like she hadn’t done in quite a while.

She knew she was feeling sorry for herself, but she didn’t care. She was tired of trying to do the best she could with the hand she’d been dealt because she didn’t see an end to her life that was anything happy. If she was fortunate, she could expect a life of servitude to the First Order, maybe finding another person in the ranks who might be willing to accept her for being an outsider, and spending her days in ignominy until she died, if she didn’t get herself killed by crossing Kylo, Hux or Snoke first.

Kylo finished his shower and walked softly up to her, clad in a plain shirt and loose pants.

“Livia, what’s wrong, where is this coming from?” he asked as he knelt down in front of her.

“I’m sick of this!” she hollered, flicking her finger under her anklet. “And I’m sick of you!” she yelled as she pushed against his chest before breaking into a whole new round of tears.

A memory coming unbidden from his childhood prompted him to wrap his arms around her and let her cry into his shoulder. He remembered what it was like to need comforting and how, on the few occasions she was home, his mother had gathered him in her arms and given him solace.

Livia was shocked he wasn’t slapping her around and yelling at her, but for some reason he was actually being tolerant and comforting. Livia sobbed for a bit more before she finally ran out of tears.

“Better now?” he asked her, handing her a handkerchief.

She didn’t respond except to blow her nose and wipe her face.

“I can try talking to Snoke again,” Kylo offered, “see if he’ll change his mind about you moving out since everything’s gone well the past few months, and you have the ankle bracelet. He probably won’t let you get rid of that, though, I’m sorry.”

Livia nodded and looked at her hands where she was folding and refolding the handkerchief.

“I’m sleeping out here,” she stated and laid down on the couch as if claiming it.

“You’re being stubborn,” Kylo responded.

Livia simply snorted at him, his infamous intractability making her think he had no right to accuse her of stubbornness, and she sat up in irritation.

“I’M being stubborn?!” she burst out. “YOU were so stubborn about sleeping in that bed together, you flew off across the galaxy somewhere rather than spend one night under the same blanket as me!”

Kylo rose to his full height. “Is that what this is about? Your pride is hurt because I didn’t do exactly what you demanded of me?”

“I didn’t demand!” she countered, then took on a sarcastic tone. “How dare I demand ANYTHING from the great Kylo Ren!”

“I seem to remember you calling me a bunch of names and demanding I get my ass into that bed, or is that not in your memory?” he argued.

His statement made her pause, because he was correct, but she wasn’t going to let him off that easy.

“Oh, like anything I say has any weight with you!” she screamed. “YOU tell me what to do and where to go and what to eat and when to have sex, and all of it!”

Kylo could tell from the way she was reacting that she was needing control, and she needed it from outside of herself. He went to a side table and pulled out the manacles he’d tucked away the day he’d brought her back from the detention center.

“Hands out,” he said firmly but quietly.

“What?!” she shrieked.

“Now,” he reiterated his request, standing over her and not backing down.

“NO!” she defied him and tried to get up and walk past him, but there was no way she was escaping his massive form.

“Livia, I said  _ now _ ,” he continued to order her, his voice calm and even, surprising her.

His commandeering tone finally got through to Livia and a small ember began to flare in her; an ember of cooperation, of obedience, of submission. Her pride was making it hard for her to lift her hands to him, so he gently but firmly grasped one of her wrists and snapped the first manacle around it, eliciting a small gasp from her. She quickly covered it, lest he hear how he’d made that warmth rise in her, but it was too late. It confirmed what he’d suspected, that she needed a firm hand, and he was just the man to give it to her as he snapped her other hand in before she could object or pull away.

“You’re going back in the shower, and we’re going to finish where we left off.”

Livia slowly but unwillingly followed along with him, pulling her weight against the manacles in a token effort of fighting him, but she followed nonetheless and found herself in front of the shower door where Kylo was tearing her clothes from her, his bare hands ripping the fabric as easily as paper.

“Stop!” she objected as the cool air hit her skin and a sense of shame overcame her at her nakedness in front of him. She felt wholly exposed.

“If you could control yourself, this wouldn’t be necessary,” he replied as he reached in to turn on the flow of water and he stripped himself, his clothing joining hers in a puddle on the floor. He backed into the stall, pulling her with him, and they were both soon surrounded by steaming hot water and deep black tile.

Kylo reached down to grasp her manacles and pulled them over her head where he hooked them over the shower head to leave her dangling, only the balls of her feet still touching the floor. Livia gasped, her mouth dropping open as she understood what he’d done to her, what he was likely to do in the moments to come.

“Let me down!” she whined.

“Let me down,  _ Master _ ,” Kylo reminded her as his hands caressed her slick breasts, the pink peaks marbling under his thick thumbs.

“Fuck you, Kylo!” she spat in defiance.

Kylo sneered as she fought him but turned her aside and smacked her ass, only enough to get her attention. “Such a foul mouth on such a lovely young lady,” he remarked, and he leaned down to suck and bite at her neck as she raged in anger and tried kicking him away.

“Stop it!” he warned her sharply. “We’re having a good time, why are you ruining it?”

“Because you’re an asshole and I don’t want this!” she protested, but Kylo could see her heart wasn’t in it.

“Really?” he asked as she slid his fingers between her thighs to slip between her nether lips. “Because your cunt says otherwise.”

She closed her eyes and whimpered, both against his hand for the intrusion and against herself for the betrayal.

“I don’t want you to touch me anymore,” she sobbed as his fingers continued stroking her to excitement and her cunt clenched desperately around his fingers.  _ I’ve left her alone too long and she’s needy _ , he thought _. Master will have to fulfill her desires _ .

“Yes, you do, and you hate me for it, don’t you,” he taunted her cruelly. “You want my touch like you want to breathe.”

Livia twisted helplessly on her tiptoes, attempting to turn away from him but it was useless.

“Stop!” she pleaded.

“No, I won’t stop,” he stated emphatically as he thrust his thick fingers deeper in her slit, “not until you submit.”

Livia snarled as she tried clamping her thighs down against his hand and kicking away from him, and in response, Kylo grabbed at one of her nipples, twisting it cruelly to achieve her cooperation.

“Ow!” she yowled, pressing her back against the cold tile wall in an effort to escape his discipline. “Stop, stop!” she pleaded.

“Submit,” Kylo whispered in her ear, his voice insistent as he pressed himself against her, his hard phallus pressing like a truncheon against her soft belly, the threat of his manhood making her even wetter.

Livia snarled at his face that was pressed against hers. “Get your pathetic cock away from me, you monster!”

“Submit,” he continued insisting to her, fighting to keep control after her insult. His hand didn’t relent as the pressure in her pussy began mounting against her wishes. Her wetness was mixing with the water and Kylo’s fingers slipped easily around her slick lips, now engorged and hot and pulsing as he brought her closer to the edge.

“NO!!!” she shrieked against his ministrations as she failed to wriggle out from under his reach. “Stop, please,” she finally begged as her body was unable to keep up its opposition against his stimulation, her arms now burning with ache where she hung from the shower head, her legs sore as they were losing the fight to support her weight, and her ego was becoming bruised and battered.

He had her close now, he knew.

“Submit,” he said again, soft and soothing, enticing her to give in to him so she could let go of her struggles and find release.

“No,” she sighed another refusal as she attempted in vain to deny him.

“Beg me to cum,” he whispered hoarsely in her ear, his breath hot and insistent.

“No…” she breathed unconvincingly, the sigh escaping her lips even as Kylo felt the walls of her cunt clamp down in anticipation of climax.

“Submit,” he coaxed her one final time.

Livia was panting as she struggled to hold out, finally giving in as the pressure mounted in spite of her efforts to keep it at bay. “Please,” she choked out, “please let me cum.”

“Master.”

“Please, Master,” she replied.

“Look at me when you say it.”

Her defeated eyes roamed up to his and a knife of anxiety ripped through her gut as his pupils contacted hers and Livia let go all her independence.

“Please allow me to cum, Master, ahhh….” she begged before closing her eyes against the strain of the orgasm that was backed up in her loins like an ocean behind a dam.

“Cum for me, now,” Kylo commanded her, clear and deep as his fingers pressed firmly against her hard little clit.

Livia held her breath and then her screams echoed off the walls as the nerves in her nether region all fired as one, the electric wave of pleasure consuming her throughout her insides. As her legs gave out, Kylo reached around her waist to support her against him as her back arched and her orgasm gushed hotly down her thighs, her cries resounding in his ears and he reveled in the way he was able to coax the orgasm from her. Finally, Livia’s legs squeezed hard around his hand, her pussy greedily seeking every inch of his fingers to sustain and expend her orgasm to its very fullest as the rest of her collapsed exhaustedly in his embrace.

Slowly, her spasms relented and moment by moment she returned to sanity as her breaths grew even and quiet, and she looked at him insensible.

“More,” she whispered, her mouth slack as she licked her lips.

“I’ll give you more,” Kylo promised her, reaching up to disengage her manacles from the shower head. “Kneel.”

Livia’s legs were weak from strain, and she fell to her knees at his strong feet, their foundation at the base of his massive physique sending a thrill down her spine as she clasped her bound hands at his calves, her cheek pressed hungrily against him.

“I kneel, Master,” she replied as she relished her position on the floor at his feet, where the small voice of her submissive nature nudged at her,  _ Here is where we belong. _ She trembled and whimpered at the recognition of the truth, and Kylo drank in her turmoil as it fed his dark side. 

He grasped his erectness and buried his fingers in her damp hair, dragging her to his groin where he nudged the swollen head of his cock between her lips.

“Suck,” he commanded her, and her mouth opened with instinct to take his phallus inside, surrounding him with her eager lips as her tongue stroked up and down his shaft. She knelt on the cold tile floor and her manacled hands gripped his thigh, holding on for dear life as she threw herself into her task, hungrily suckling at his cock as his scrotum swelled. She tried to give it attention as well as the restraints would allow, cupping the heavy sac in her warm hand, stroking the soft skin and rolling the hard testes in her fingers.

As his throbbing prick jabbed into the back of her throat between Kylo’s efforts and her own eager thrusts of her neck, she gagged and coughed, trying desperately to take him into the depths of her throat while she gently slipped her fingers to the skin between his balls and his buttocks. Kylo groaned, pitching forward to support himself against the wall.

“Make your Master cum, little whore,” Kylo demanded as his hips flexed into her face.

The reference to her as his whore triggered a memory in Livia - the night he’d raped her, telling her she was his whore and nothing more. The reminder of how small she was in the universe, how little she meant to him, sent fresh tears down her face to mingle with the ones she had created by impaling her throat on his massive member. But she kept up the pace, continuing the work she’d undertaken, because she would never leave a man wanting. She’d prided herself on always making a man satisfied, and she would continue to do so, even if that man was Kylo Ren.

“Suck it faster, slut,” he degraded her as he neared his climax, and Livia could feel the tell-tale indication he was close as his testicles pulled tight and he grasped her head harder as his groin pressed hard into her mouth, bruising her as he jammed the head of his cock into her throat and ejected his thick, hot climax into her thirsty mouth as he groaned in satisfaction.

Livia collapsed onto the floor of the shower, the water streaming around her as she cried in subjugation and shame. She hated herself, hated her base nature that craved such treatment, for it left her humiliated afterward and her sense of self-worth was gutted knowing she’d not only allowed herself to be treated thusly, but begged for it. She was angry at the part of her that was so pathetic, so weak that it would force her to debase the better parts of herself for the sake of its licentious desires.

Kylo gently reached down and drew her up under her arms, holding her back close against his chest, her manacled hands hanging down in front of her as she bawled pathetically. “Let me go, Kylo, I hate you!”

“Shhh…” he sighed in her ear, “no, you don’t.”

“I do!” she cried. “I don’t want to do this anymore!”

“Do what?” he said, softly as he cradled her against him in the hot water.

“Be your bitch!” she cried out.

Kylo turned her to face him. “You’re not my bitch,” he said softly.

“You said I’m your whore, I mean nothing to you!” she exclaimed.

“That’s not true,” he replied, his face serious. “You mean a lot to me.”

“You don’t mean that,” she said, turning away from him, ducking her head under the stream of water.

Kylo wanted to show her instead of telling her, and he began washing her gently from head to toe, the washcloth full of creamy bubbles as he traced his thick hands over her slender form. This was his first opportunity to take in her entire form at his leisure and he was trying to enjoy her curves and the softness of her skin.

Livia relaxed into the sensation of his hands caring for her, and she wanted to relent, to allow the emotional feelings that were rising along with the physical sensations to float to the surface, to delight in the experience of how he was making her feel in her mind as well as her body.

Kylo leaned over her shoulder as he soaped her breasts.

“Livia, I really did miss you,” he whispered.

“Why?” she asked.

He thought for a moment as he let the water run down her front and rinse away the lather.

“I missed having someone happy to see me when I return,” he replied, “someone who cares how I feel. I like the way I feel when I’m with you.”

Livia looked back over her shoulder at him, and he took it as an invitation, coming around to face her.

“Livia, I think I’m… I have feelings-” he choked, terror entering his eyes.

Her face began to expand in wonder and confusion.

“Yes?” she asked, encouraging him to finish what he had to say.

“I need you again,” he said, his cock growing hard against her belly as he gathered her against him, cupping her cheeks as his mouth possessed her. “Let’s get out of here.”

Kylo shut off the water and led her from the shower, enveloping her in a large towel as he left the room to retrieve the keyfob to her manacles. She held the edges of the towel closed, shivering against the chilly air and trying to make sense of what was happening, but Kylo returned quickly and released her, allowing her to dry herself off while he did the same. He then turned and pulled her towel away, scooping her up in his arms and carrying her to the bed where he deposited her deftly on the covers.

She could see his eyes were hungry again, and he was desperate to possess her as he knelt between her legs, his hand gently stroking between her pussy lips, the new wetness joining what was already there as she moaned and closed her eyes.

“I’m going to make you cum for me again,” he threatened as he palmed his cock and guided it between her legs where her hot quim was expectantly welcoming him. As he pressed the head to her cunt, he could feel a tremor rush through her and she moaned in anticipation, her legs spreading wider to accept him and he thrust deeply into her in one smooth stroke, his weight pressing her wide open and she gasped despite herself.

“Master!” she exclaimed, her arms shooting out to grasp his thick biceps as he pumped himself in and out of her in ecstasy, the thickness of his prick stretching her and the hardness creating pressure against her tender walls.

“Oh, Livia,” he whimpered against her throat, his prominent nose nuzzling gently behind her ear, his mouth sucking her earlobe as his teeth tugged lightly on it and his warm breath on her neck sent a chill down her whole body.

She inhaled noisily, squeezing her eyes shut as her legs came up to clasp his around his hips and her calves locked behind his own to pull him closer to her.

“Fuck me!” she begged him urgently, “fuck me hard, Master! I need it, I need your cock! Oh, god!”

Kylo hadn’t seen her this wanton before, and he felt he was close to breaking her.

“Beg me for it, tell me how much you want me,” he challenged her.

“I- I want you,” she uttered between heavy breaths.

“How badly do you want me,” he demanded. “Tell me.”

“I want… I want you bad! I need you, Master!”

“What do you need, tell me.”

“I need you to enslave me to your cock!” she replied, her hips jerking up to meet his, trying to drive his shaft deeper in her pussy.

“Do you?” he asked as he continued fucking her hard. “Why?”

“Because I love it!” she shouted impulsively, “I never want to be without it, it feels sooo goood...”

“Good, then let me give it all to you,” he said, pulling her legs up over his shoulders so he could drive himself deeper into her quivering cunt. He reached underneath and grasped her buttocks hard in order to gain more control, and he could feel her wetness dripping down her ass cheeks, his thick cock displacing her fluids with every thrust.

Livia reached down to stroke her clit, but Kylo pulled her hand away.

“Mine,” he said possessively, and put his own fingers against her swollen nub, gently rubbing her in circles as he watched his prick plunge into her, her moisture coating him with every stroke.

“Such a delicious pussy,” he said as he withdrew his finger from her nub and slipped it between his lips and sucked her nectar clean. She moaned with the absence of his touch and he smirked at her neediness and reached back to give her what she was wanting, sighs of pleasure rising from her as his attention returned.

“Master, I need to cum,” she began moaning, “please! Please let me cum!” Livia was starting to give in more easily to her desires, was more quickly conforming to his power dynamic with her, and he wanted to reward her.

“Cum for your Master,” he released her, “cum hard.”

Livia’s cunt began to convulse around Kylo’s cock and her hands clamped onto his wrist to keep his hand in place between her thighs, needing the caress of his fingers to continue as the waves of her orgasm broke over her with urgency.

“Master!” she screamed, her back arching as sweat rolled down her forehead, and Kylo allowed himself to release as he withdrew his cock just to the edge of her pussy, watching his cum spill out of the sides of her cunt lips in spurts and drip down between her ass cheeks, staining the covers below.

“I’ve marked you, my sweet little pussy,” he whispered to her as he swirled his fingers around their fluids in her cunt as they both came down from their climaxes, their bodies relaxing around each other. He took his finger, dripping with cum, and placed it in her mouth, her lips sucking at it and her eyes rolling back in her head as she relished the taste of them together.

“So delicious,” she sighed as she unwound herself from him and turned on her belly.

Kylo laid down next to her, gathering her up in his arms and she sighed as she leaned against his chest, his cock still half-hard and damp with cum against her buttocks. Livia felt uncomfortable as the memory of him penetrating her there with such rage crawled up her spine, and she wiggled uneasily although she knew he was too spent to do that to her again. However, Kylo sensed her displeasure and it dawned on him what Livia was feeling, so he turned her toward him and wrapped his arm behind her back, tucking her head under his chin.

Livia was relieved and could feel his heart beating as her hand rested against his chest. This was the first time they had lain together this way, and she wanted to enjoy it. She actively pushed the negative thoughts of the past several weeks away, trying to find a moment of pleasure amidst her troubles.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, Livia,” he entreated her, his voice rich and warm.

Livia didn’t know where to start.

“I’m just tired. How about you?” she challenged him.

“Well, I found some very interesting things on my trip,” he said. “An old friend found some texts about the Force that I’ve never seen before.”

“What’s in them?” Livia asked.

“Secrets,” he said, “concepts and ideas that I’ve never had a chance to learn about until now. I helped her translate them, so she gave me copies which I’m going to study.” Kylo smiled down at her. “Looks like we’ll both be studying now.”

But he sensed a tension coming from Livia.

_ You helped ‘her’? ‘She’ who? _ she wondered but kept the question to herself as she came to recognize that of course, there’s a ‘her’- there’s probably a ton of ‘hers’ out there across the galaxy, and Livia was probably one of hundreds of women he was fucking. She cursed herself for a fool. The sudden certainty of his involvement with other women chilled her and she pulled into herself in defense.

“Livia, what’s wrong? You’ve gone cold on me all of a sudden,” he observed.

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” she lied as she rolled off the bed and headed back to the refresher to clean up. She locked the door behind her, and as she turned the shower back on, she let the sound of the pouring water cover up her sobs of self-pity as the water flushed away her tears.

She was nobody and nothing in this giant galaxy, far from anything she knew as home, and now she was completely and totally lost.


	16. When Did You Change

Livia couldn’t sleep as she lay on her side, listening to Kylo’s soft, deep breaths behind her. He was dozing restfully, having spent himself in her after flying back and forth across the galaxy over the last several weeks. He had become comfortable with Livia, as evidenced by his arm draped over her hip.

She played the evening over in her mind; Kylo’s warm greeting upon her return, his keen attention to her sexual needs, and his willingness to lay together with her in the bed now despite seeking to escape those many weeks ago. She couldn’t reconcile it with him being an intergalactic playboy. What she was certain of was that she was going to have to work hard to soothe her broken heart.

She knew it was her own fault, though; she should never have turned her attention away from David’s memory. She reached over to her nightstand drawer and pulled it open to feel around for his picture which she’d stopped carrying on her person these last few months, for which she admonished herself. She clutched the laminated photo tightly in her hand as tears of recrimination slipped to her pillow.

She told herself that if she’d kept her focus on David and his memory, she’d never have let her heart be played with by Kylo; he couldn’t have toyed with her and made her feel things for him which he had no intention of returning. With shame, she begged David’s soul for forgiveness for abandoning him and denounced herself for a feckless wife. She carried her anger toward herself into her sleep, where she dreamt of all the horrible things that were going to happen to her now, for it was just as General Hux said - Kylo cared nothing for her; she was merely a diversion.

~~~~~~

In the morning, Livia was already awake and in the shower, having slept fitfully off and on all night, and when Kylo saw her emerge from the refresher, he noted the dark bags under her eyes, the sallow complexion and the way her mouth was tight with anger and sorrow.

“Good morning, Livia,” he tried greeting her, a sated smile on his lips as she walked past him into the kitchen.

“‘Morning,” she replied as she poured herself a cup of caf and stood sipping it at the counter, her eyes focused on the steam rising from the liquid. She stood by the fresh-brewed pot but didn’t offer him a cup as she normally would, and when he came to pour himself one, she grabbed her bag and made to leave.

“I have to head to class, I’ll be late,” and she was through the doors before he could stop her.

Kylo could feel the seething anger rolling off of her but didn’t think he’d done anything to her last night out of the ordinary that would have made her so mad. Yes, he’d played into her lust for domination, but he hadn’t misused her, not like he had that night. He hoped she would be over it by this evening and he could sit down to talk to her about the things he needed to share with her.

But when he returned to the bedroom to get ready for his day, he noticed the picture of David lying on the floor near Livia’s side of the bed where she’d dropped it during the night, and he derided himself as blind. Clearly, she still cared for her late husband, and now that Kylo had hurt her, she had indeed abandoned any feelings of love for him that had been growing in her heart. He placed the photograph back on her nightstand, eager to leave behind any evidence that Livia’s fledgling love for him was dead.

~~~~~~

Today was the first day the students were going to be allowed to sit in the cockpit of a ship and navigate it out of the docking bay, and Livia was elated. This was the best day of the course so far as she was concerned. However, she was suddenly afraid - what about her ankle bracelet? It would surely go off if she left the confines of the Star Destroyer, rendering her unconscious. Kylo said only he, Livia and the Supreme Leader knew about it. That meant Captain Tarvill had no idea, and she would have to tell him why she couldn’t participate, shame painting her cheeks red.

“Captain,” she approached him quietly as the students began assembling at the classroom door to head down to the docking bay.

“Salinsky, it’s time to go, fall in, please” he said, flustered as he tried to get a head count to ensure he had everyone present.

“I can’t go, Captain.”

“What?” he asked, irritated.

She leaned in to whisper to him. “I’m on… confinement. I can’t leave the ship.”

“Of course you can go, what are you talking about?” he demanded tersely.

“Captain, I’m wearing a monitor, I’m not permitted to leave,” she tried explaining to him.

“Whatever are you talking about?” he demanded. “Please get in line, Salinsky.”

“No, look,” she said, pulling her boot off in frustration to show the captain. There, on her ankle, flashed the ankle bracelet that was holding her captive.

Captain Tarvill’s face fell in understanding. “Oh,” was all he said, but the students around her began whispering, pointing and laughing.

“Very well, Salinksy,” he said, trying to take their focus off of Livia and back on the day’s lesson. “I’ll discuss it with you further when we return. In the meantime, stay here and begin work on Unit 15.”

“Yes, sir,” she answered, replacing her boot before slinking back to her desk where she slumped in her seat and opened the next day’s lesson. She looked up to see Brin eyeing her with pity, which angered her even more and she put her head down to read, impatient for her classmates to vacate the room.

Once they had, she buried her face in her hands. Again, something she valued was being taken from her and she was beginning to feel she was slowly being stripped down to nothing. Her autonomy, her desires, her relationships were all evaporating before her eyes and she could do nothing to stop it as she felt them all slip through her fingers like sand. She was beginning to feel she had nothing left to live for.

At the lunch break, Livia found herself heading back down the designated corridors she was allowed to use for travel between Kylo’s quarters and her classroom, and she looked over every inch of the long hallways for an escape - an airlock, an escape pod, anything. She had to find a way out, she must. She could go on this way no longer.

By the time she reached Kylo’s rooms, she had run out of options - there was nothing, which now turned her thoughts to… no. She couldn’t. She didn’t have the courage to take her own life, even after David’s death she hadn’t sunk that low. Having nowhere else to go, Livia let herself into the quarters and sank down on the bed, ignoring Kylo sitting at his desk where his attention was absorbed in his datapad.

“Livia?” he called, but she didn’t answer. He walked into the bedroom to see her lying on the bed facing away from him, her bag slung carelessly on the floor instead of hung up neatly as was her norm. Kylo sat on the bed next to her.

“Livia, what’s wrong? Why are you back from class already, I thought you went until fourteen-hundred?”

“Yeah, sorry to interrupt you,” she said, not looking his way.

“Did something happen in class?” he asked, worried she was being bullied on his account again.

“Yeah. Everyone got to fly the Xi-class shuttle today. Except me.”

“Why?” he asked. “You’re doing so well in class, why would Captain Tarvill keep you grounded?”

“He didn’t,” she said resentfully. “ _You_ did. You and this stupid ankle bracelet.”

Kylo sighed in regret, the monitor hidden under her boot where it often escaped his notice. She’d done such a good job trying to ignore it, he had come to forget it was there most days. However, Livia could not overlook the constant reminder of her imprisonment and the freedom it was costing her.

“It’s there for a reason,” he said, his voice strict. “You’ve run once, there’s nothing but that monitor keeping you from running again, and we can’t have that Livia.”

“God forbid I taste freedom again in my lifetime,” she replied with sarcasm.

“ _I_ forbid it!” Kylo stood and railed at her, frustrated not only with her but for her. “Your freedom was forfeit the day you ran from your quarters!”

Livia jumped to her feet as well.

“The whole reason I ran was to find _you_!” she yelled. “You were hurt, and they were hiding you from me, and Captain Halowin wouldn’t let me see you or tell me anything about what happened to you! It wasn’t for me, it was for _you_ , just like everything around here!!”

Kylo was blindsided by the news, but he knew she was telling the truth. He could feel it radiating from her along with the rage and disappointment.

“Livia, I didn’t know, why didn’t you say something!” he pleaded.

“What difference would it have made, nobody listens to me or cares what I think! I’m just some useless barbarian to fuck and forget!”

“That is not true,” Kylo objected as he came around the bed to pull her into an embrace, but she crossed her arms, fending off his efforts to comfort her. “Livia, listen to me. You’re special to me.”

She looked at him with her face full of resentment. “Oh, so special you run off to some other woman rather than sleep with me! Save it!”

“That’s not fair, it wasn’t like that,” he pulled away, defensive of his relationship to Ellie.

“Then what is it like, Kylo? Tell me! Because three weeks is a hell of a long time to go read some books!” and Livia stomped off to the refresher shutting the door behind her.

Kylo considered letting her have her way, but he thought better of it. He heard Snoke’s admonition in the back of his mind that Kylo had best keep her on a tighter leash. If he was going to keep Livia as his woman, he was going to have to bring her to heel. He retrieved the manacles from their place in the drawer and knocked at the refresher door.

“Livia, come out of there right now. You’re not going to be allowed to speak to me that way.”

“Go away! I hate you!” she yelled from within.

He focused to retain his temper but it was a struggle. “Last warning. Open the door _now_.”

“FUCK YOU, KYLO REN!” she hollered.

Kylo entered his override code into the door and it whisked open where he found Livia leaning against the counter, crying into the sink.

He could have no mercy for her now, and he reasoned against his urge to show her compassion. He strode over and snapped the manacles on her before she could object, but Kylo noticed she wasn’t struggling; she didn’t put up a fight, she simply cried, leaning all her weight on the counter. It was good enough for him, and he hauled her up over his shoulder so he could carry her into the bedroom where he deposited her on the bed on her stomach, yanking her pants down and exposing her bare buttocks.

“You need a lesson in respect,” he said curtly as he pulled his belt off. Kylo saw that as he raised the belt up over his head to beat her, she didn’t flinch - she simply laid there. Undaunted, he brought the thick leather down on her backside, leaving a wide, red welt on her skin, and she merely squeezed her eyes shut.

“You will not raise your voice to me,” he beat her again.

“Or talk back.” Again, the belt met her tender flesh.

“Or curse at me.” Once more the leather marred her pretty skin.

“Am I understood?” The sound of leather meeting her buttocks echoed, but Livia remained silent, tears escaping her eyes and falling silently on the bed.

“Livia! Am I understood?!” The belt yet again caused her skin to flush crimson.

The young woman simply curled into a ball and shook, and Kylo could feel waves of depression rolling off her - Livia was losing her will to deal with anything, and she had no more fight left in her. He had finally broken her.

Kylo drew her pants back up over her buttocks and pulled her up into his arms where he cradled her. “Look at me, please,” his voice was soft and pleading as he stroked her cheek to encourage her. Livia finally turned her gaze to his.

“What?” she asked, exasperated. “What more do you want from me, Kylo? I have nothing left to give you. You and the First Order have taken everything from me.”

Livia lay limply in his arms, her spirit dashed from her many setbacks, and Kylo relented, leaving her lying on the bed as he returned to his studies.

~~~~~~

The digital translations of the texts Kylo had brought back with him were revealing more upon a second review. In particular, he was fascinated to see how the Gray Jedi had discovered healing abilities, which he’d previously told Livia was lost knowledge. Reading through the texts, though, he began to see how the Force could be used not only to wound and manipulate, but to heal and create, and a thought occurred to him.

Kylo checked on Livia before he left, seeing her sleeping restlessly and closing the bedroom door to keep from waking her as he stole from his quarters and headed down to the medical bay. Ren’s appearance in the medical unit caused a stir of unrest as he asked to speak with Doctor Zimms, and the woman was startled by his appearance seeking her out.

“Commander, what can I do for you?” she asked as she tried to show him into an examination room, but he declined.

“It’s not for me, I wanted to discuss Livia with you,” he replied softly.

“Please, let’s speak in my office,” she said, leading him into a small space with a desk, gesturing to the chair opposite her own.

“How is she?” Kylo asked with genuine concern.

Doctor Zimms pulled up Livia’s records on her datapad to consult the young woman’s file. “At our last check-up I determined that we have completed all the treatments that were available,” she replied.

“Is she healed, though?” he asked earnestly.

The doctor took in a breath and folded her hands, hesitant to tell him the truth. “So, there’s been significant improvement in the tissue repair and reconstruction, and a majority of the integrity of the structure has been restored, but no, not completely. She’ll never have full healing or function in that area.”

Kylo sat back, rubbing his hand over his mouth as he considered the failure of medicine to give Livia back what he had so unjustly taken from her. “I understand,” he said quietly.

“Commander,” she said, looking at him cautiously, “if I may?”

He looked at her expectantly.

“Livia’s a strong young woman, and she won’t be having children, which would put an undue strain on that part of her body. This injury won’t be a life-changing issue,” she consoled him.

“That’s reassuring, thank you,” he said, appreciating her concern as he rose to leave.

During the walk back to his quarters, Kylo considered whether he could use what he’d learned from the texts to help Livia, and whether he should. If it failed, would it hurt her instead? Would she be angry with him, or would she be glad for him being able to make up to her in part what he’d done to hurt her in the first place?

Before he knew it, he was back in front of the door of his quarters and he needed to face Livia.

He let himself in to find the rooms deathly quiet, all of the lights turned down. Kylo crept into the bedroom where Livia lay on the bed, softly breathing, and he leaned over to place a small kiss on her cheek. She stirred slightly but returned to her slumber as Kylo left her alone and went back to his studies.

Later that evening, their meals were delivered and Kylo tapped softly at the bedroom door.

“Livia?” he called into the darkness. “Are you hungry?”

“No,” she replied without effort.

“You must eat,” he exhorted her. “You had no breakfast and no lunch. Please eat something.”

“Or what, you’ll beat me again?” she egged him on from the bed.

Kylo had seen enough, something had to give. He entered the bedroom and sat on the bed next to her.

“I spoke with Doctor Zimms. She told me about the status of your injury,” he said, prepared for an acidic retort from Livia.

“Disappointed you won’t be able to use me there again?” she asked smartly.

“No,” he responded, “I’m sorry what I did to you caused such lasting damage.”

Livia was quiet and didn’t reply.

“I may have learned how to heal, Livia.”

She lay silent for a moment before she asked, “From your texts?”

“Yes,” he answered her. “I’d like to try to help you, but only if you’re willing to let me.”

Silence passed between them before she rolled over to look at him. “Really?”

“Please let me try?” he asked. She knew it was as much to mollify his own remorse as to help her, but she wanted to have her body back, to remove the constant, daily reminder of what he’d done to her.

Livia nodded without a word and let Kylo position her so that he could reach her where needed. She heard him inhale deeply, his breath becoming regular as he focused his energies through his hands into her body. He concentrated, feeling the Force flow through himself and distilling into restorative energy as he could feel cells knitting and rebuilding.

Livia felt a vibration of sorts as Kylo’s hands hovered over her buttocks, and the longer he held his hands over her, the warmer she felt her entire lower torso becoming until she detected a sensation of loosening, a releasing almost where the tissues had been torn. She was in disbelief but reserved her judgment until she could inspect the area for herself.

Kylo let out a sigh, exhaustion overtaking him as he ended the ritual.

“Is it over?” Livia asked.

Kylo tiredly nodded, lying down next to her.

“Did it work?” she asked.

“You tell me,” he replied.

Livia rose from the bed and went to the refresher, and when she returned, there were tears in her eyes as she lay back down next to Kylo, wrapping her arm across his chest and hugging him with affection and gratitude.

“It’s better,” she choked out in disbelief. “It’s all better.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Yes,” she confirmed for him. “It doesn’t hurt anymore, and everything’s intact again.”

Kylo clenched his eyes closed and thanked the Force for a miracle as he reached his arm around Livia and pulled her closer to him, placing a small kiss on her forehead. He could tell she was crying again, but this time in relief, and he shared in her joy. The small flame of light that had been crying out in his soul to be allowed to flicker and flame higher began to blaze a bit brighter that night.


	17. Maybe Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *NEW TAGS*  
> Unplanned Pregnancy  
> Discussion of Abortion

Livia was vomiting, her stomach having turned sour while she was readying herself for class that day. She wondered if she’d caught a stomach bug, but one of the things she’d noticed about living in space with the First Order was that the medical bays seemed wholly devoted to injuries and diseases, not illnesses or infections. She didn’t think in all the time she’d been on the _Finalizer_ she’d ever seen anyone with a cold or the flu. She smiled to think how Earth must have been the unlucky winner in that particular interstellar lottery.

Brushing her teeth to rid herself of the foul taste, she pushed the incident from her mind and continued getting dressed before joining Kylo for breakfast. The last couple of weeks had been a cold war of sorts, neither of them speaking of her meltdown in the days after he’d returned from his trip to retrieve the texts. Kylo spent his time studying the translations he’d made, and Livia spent her time studying engineering, even obtaining the Supreme Leader’s permission to take off her ankle monitor for one day in order to fly the shuttle, but only under Kylo’s watchful eye which made her a nervous wreck although she delighted in the chance to maneuver the ship around the local planetary system, Kylo complimenting her piloting skills and Captain Tarvill giving her high marks.

Despite this, she knew the other students accused her behind her back of sleeping her way to success, though she tried to ignore them. However, as she thought more on it, she also realized if she pursued a career in the First Order, the same accusations would continue to haunt her. No matter how hard she worked, no matter what she did to invest in herself and her career, colleagues would continue to see her as unfit and unworthy, her achievements coming solely from her ability to suck Kylo’s cock and not excel in a cockpit.

It reminded her of her days at NASA. Her husband’s role as a senator had, indeed, opened doors for her that would not otherwise have been opened to her, much as her role as a woman had given her preferential access to certain schooling and hiring because of government mandates for affirmative action. She had always hated wondering if she was passed through or hired on because of her breasts and not her brains. At least the First Order didn’t look at her sex - in fact, were it not for Kylo, she could guarantee everything she’d done would be wholly attributed to her own efforts. Despite this, she was making progress, and Livia held on to the slight hope that maybe, someday, something good would come to her in the First Order, despite all the challenges she’d faced.

As she and Kylo sat over breakfast one morning, he announced he was leaving on the morrow.

“I’ll be gone a few days, but I’m hoping to be back by Benduday, alright?” he said, knowing how it mattered to her that she was kept more informed about his activities.

She nodded slightly as she played with her breakfast.

“Aren’t you hungry?” he asked, concerned as she hadn’t been eating well the past few days.

“No, I’ve been feeling weird lately,” she said.

Kylo had the passing thought that maybe his attempts to heal her had done damage instead, and the idea gave him pause. “Why don’t you stop down and see Lieutenant Zimms? In fact, no, I’m calling her now,” Kylo said as he got up to grab his communicator.

“Kylo, stop, it’s just a stomach bug,” she pleaded.

“Stomach bug? Why would you have eaten a bug?” he asked incredulously.

“I didn’t eat a bug, I’m just sick with something,” she objected, “it will pass. Don’t you ever get sick?”

“No, why would I get sick?”

“Like, from illnesses, you know,” she replied, consulting the Basic dictionary Captain Halowin had left her with. She paged through, trying to find a word to help her.

“Germs, things that get in your body and make you ill,” she tried explaining.

Kylo looked serious now. “Livia, we don’t get sick. Maybe you do on Terra, but the _Finalizer_ is outfitted with special technology to prevent the spread of sickness. I’m calling Lieutenant Zimms.”

Livia knew it was pointless to argue with him and her face became still as she considered the possibilities. Maybe it was a female issue. Maybe whatever it was that had caused her to become sterile was worsening; endometriosis, something like that. Before she knew it, Lieutenant Zimms was in their suite and Livia found herself lying in the bedroom with her midsection being scanned and Kylo hovering to the side.

“Well?” he asked urgently as Zimms closed up the instrument. Zimms wasn’t sure who to address first - Livia, because it was her body or Commander Ren, because he was her superior. Instead, she looked at the door, telling them both at the same time.

“Somehow, Livia is pregnant,” she said, herself disbelieving the results.

Livia’s blood ran cold - this couldn’t be. If she hadn’t been lying down, she’d have fainted.

“No,” she said harshly as she sat bolt upright, “that’s not right, check that machine again, because I can’t have children, I’m sterile.”

“That’s what I thought, too,” Lieutenant Zimms reassured her. “Your scans showed just that a couple of months ago, but there are clearly signs of life, and your reproductive system is now fully functioning.”

“How did this happen?” Kylo asked incredulously, his face pale.

“I don’t know, but I also noticed all of the old scars from the injury I last saw her for are completely gone,” she replied to the commander. Turning to Livia, she asked, “Did you know that was healed?”

Livia slowly nodded, still trying to take in the news.

“I can’t have it,” Livia told the doctor as she stood and pleaded with her. “I need you to get rid of it.”

The room fell silent and it seemed an eon before Kylo spoke. “What?! What are you talking about?” He was outraged.

“Livia, we don’t do that here,” the doctor responded more calmly than the commander. “It’s immoral. We don’t murder unborn children, anymore than we would murder breathing children. Is that something they did on your world?”

Livia thought about the awful raging debate on Earth about the issue of abortion and how it had torn her country apart for years. Clearly, the First Order had settled the issue.

“You will not murder my baby,” Kylo demanded smoothly, barely holding his anger in check as Livia felt more trapped in that moment than she had since she’d been brought on board the _Finalizer_.

“It’s not up to you,” Livia seethed, “it’s MY body!”

“It’s OUR child!” he raged at her. “How could you even think of killing a harmless baby?!”

“If you please,” Lieutenant Zimms said, “I’d like to return to the medical bay, I can come back another day.”

“Dismissed, Lieutenant,” Kylo said, walking the physician out while Livia sat back down on the bed, her head in her hands. Shutting the door behind Lieutenant Zimms, he paced to the window, staring out at the galaxy as he tried to gather his thoughts. He began to wonder if the healing he’d performed on her injuries was so close to her female organs that he’d healed it all, all at the same time. And then nature had taken its course.

He was going to be a father, again. And the memory of what had happened to Niela came back to haunt him. He had to get Livia out of here, to hide her from the Supreme Leader before he found out and took Livia from him as well, but first he had to stop Lieutenant Zimms before she shared what she knew with anyone, and he bolted from his quarters, racing after the woman to keep her from talking…

~~~~~~

“So, I’m sure, after knowing what happened to Lieutenant Sharva, you share my concerns.”

“I understand, sir,” Zimms nodded from behind her desk, remembering Niela as a colleague who was sorely missed.

“And under no circumstances are you to repeat this to Livia,” he said, “I would do nothing to upset or frighten her, especially in her condition.”

“This shall remain strictly confidential, I assure you,” she replied stiffly, still frightened of the commander despite his seemingly sudden benevolence toward his woman. “However, I am concerned she may try to rid herself of the babe through unorthodox means.”

“You mean, to kill the baby on her own?” he asked, the idea making him sick.

She nodded. “There are abortifacients such as chemicals or mechanical means, and you must endeavor to keep all such items from her, especially as they often cause more damage to the mother than they do to the fetus. Or, she may try to injure herself in an attempt to force the child from her body.”

The things the doctor was saying to him turned his stomach, just as much as the many horrific things Kylo had seen on the battlefield.

“Thank you for warning me,” he said.

“If we are fortunate, we may find as the hormones in her body increase, the maternal instinct will take hold and she may change her mind, even become fiercely attached to the child. You never know,” Lieutenant Zimms smiled at Ren, trying to comfort him.

“Very well,” the commander replied. “Please come by tomorrow to do a full physical for her as you mentioned earlier. I’m hopeful I can convince her to change her point of view.”

As Kylo headed back to his quarters, he began to think the cage Livia had claimed she was being kept in was now expanding to include him as well…

~~~~~~

“I need you to keep this between us and Lieutenant Zimms for the moment, can you at least do that for me, please?” Kylo asked her across the dinner table that evening.

Livia’s eyes were red-rimmed and puffy from crying, but she nodded silently all the same.

“Thank you,” he said with sincerity.

“Besides, who the hell would I tell? I have no friends, nobody I can trust,” she complained.

“Livia, you can trust me,” Kylo tried reassuring her.

“Trust you to knock me up,” she smarted off to him as she picked over her vegetables.

“That’s not fair,” he said. “You and I both knew you were supposed to be incapable of getting pregnant, and we both wanted to have sex. The problem is that only one of us wants our child.”

She remained silent, knowing he was correct and having no argument that would hold water against him, but the way he kept talking about it made her ill.

“Livia, I’ll bargain with you if that’s what it takes. Carry the child to term, let me raise it, and I will set you free,” he offered. “I’ll set up finances for you, give you a ship of your own, you can leave and go anywhere you like.”

“So you’ll set me free for the price of my body, but not for my own sake? Fuck you,” she shot back at him, spurning his arrangement as she continued picking at her dish.

“Please eat,” he pleaded with her, “the baby needs nutrition.”

“I hope it starves!” Livia sneered across the table at him. “I’m not having your evil, rotten spawn!”

Her statement cut him deeply, and Kylo’s mouth curled into a snarl as he started breathing quickly, his anger bubbling just under the surface.

“You are fortunate you are with child, or I would beat you senseless right now, you miserable bitch.”

“Tell me how you really feel, Jedi Killer!” she screamed at him, throwing her plate across the table and hitting him with it, food smeared down his face and clothing. Kylo tried controlling his rage, remembering what the doctor had told him about the effect of hormones on behavior during pregnancy. He harnessed all of his will to place the plate back on the table, wipe his face off with his napkin and retreat to the refresher to clean himself off.

But once he’d gotten behind the closed door, he broke down. Livia was being cruel simply for the sake of hurting him intentionally for something he couldn’t possibly have avoided, unless they had foregone relations altogether. He was coming to see her not as a potential mate but as a veritable foe. Knowing she was pregnant, that he had another chance to father a child, was actually making him happy, giving him a sense of purpose and joy, and she wanted to destroy it. He had to stop her, one way or another. He just had to get her to cooperate with him for nine months, long enough to bring the child into the world, and then he would set her free to do whatever she wanted, anywhere but with him and the baby.

And another obstacle that felt just as large was that if Kylo wanted this child, he could no longer live his life in the shadow and control of the Supreme Leader, and that meant his plans to escape his master’s clutches would need to be implemented sooner than later.

~~~~~~

The next morning found Kylo standing over Livia where she lay on the couch, snuggled under the blanket he’d laid over her when she’d refused to come to bed and he was unwilling to drag her to it physically against her will.

“Livia,” Kylo whispered over her, trying to wake her so he could inform her of his plans before he departed for his mission. She rolled over and gave him a hard look as she accepted the glass of water he handed her.

“I’m leaving,” Kylo informed her, “While I’m gone, there will be a nurse watching over you while in quarters and two guards watching over you everywhere else. Please obey these people.”

She spat out the water she was drinking and threw off the blanket.

“Kylo, you can’t do this to me!” she shouted.

“Calm down,” he gently told her, “I don’t want you upset.”

“Then don’t do this to me, I’m not a child!”

“No, but you are _with_ child, _my_ child, and while I’m gone I won’t have you destroying it or yourself as you’ve threatened,” he said, turning to answer the door where the nurse was waiting to attend Livia.

“Good morning, Miss Livia,” the nurse waved to her, the same nurse who’d stayed with her after Kylo had raped her.

“You’ve had your instructions from Lieutenant Zimms, correct?” Kylo confirmed with the caretaker.

“Yes, Commander,” she replied.

“I should be back in three days, please make sure Livia has everything she needs and that she eats nutritiously. She’s been nauseous and not eating well,” he informed the nurse.

He walked back to Livia before he left. “Please take care of yourself and the baby, I’m begging you.”

Livia was unwilling to make a fuss in front of the nurse, but she leaned over the back of the couch and hissed at him. “I hate you, and I’m going to find a way to rid myself of this child one way or another, I don’t care who you send to watch over me!”

Kylo leaned in close where Livia could see his eyes were red and bloodshot, dark circles forming around them. “If you follow through as you’ve threatened, nothing you’ve heard about my cruelty so far will compare to what I will do to you. I will make you pray for a quick death, and it will be denied you for thousands of days.”

Commander Ren donned his helmet, and he left in a swirl of fabric as his cape rippled in his wake as he left the quarters. Livia threw the glass across the room at the doors behind him where it startled the nurse as it shattered into a thousand pieces. A servodroid came to sweep it up, and its appearance reminded Livia of when she’d first come aboard the _Finalizer_ and how little she knew then of what her life would look like now.

~~~~~~

“My young apprentice,” Snoke’s voice echoed across the crimson chamber as Kylo Ren knelt in deference to his master. “It has been many days since we have spoken, and the Resistance yet plague us. Rise, and tell me what news have you brought of their impending demise?”

Kylo stood in front of Snoke, more determined than ever to break the yoke of enslavement the decrepit ruler held over him.

“I have tracked down the scavenger girl and determined she is on their base on Ajan Kloss,” Kylo reported proudly. He was looking forward to eliminating Rey and his mother in one fell swoop. “We are closing in on them as we speak.”

“This is excellent news indeed,” the Supreme Leader replied. “And what other tidings have you?”

Ren was prepared for Snoke’s inquiry, for he had already felt the ripples of his child’s Force energy and he suspected his master did as well.

“I have felt something in the Force,” Kylo answered truthfully, “but I suspect it is our quarry growing in strength and skill. She has been training with General Organa, and I look forward to eliminating her.”

Snoke nodded thoughtfully.

“And what of the girl you hold?” Snoke inquired, leaning forward.

Kylo now employed the skills he’d gleaned from the Gray Jedi texts he’d been studying, using them to mask his innermost fears and desires while showing the Supreme Leader only what he wanted him to see.

“Her studies are progressing well, she should be ready to join the flight crew within weeks. Beyond that, she has already made herself useful to me,” Kylo responded with a sneer that he didn’t truly feel but it would convey the tone to Snoke he wished his master to hear.

“You are cunning, my dear boy! Would that I had your talent at your age, I would have ruled the galaxy years ago!” the Supreme Leader laughed heartily, unable to see in Kylo’s heart the designs the young man had for his own future. “But I warn you, Ren. Your lust for the girl, if not controlled, will be your undoing. Do not let it get the better of you. You must make her serve your will, as you serve mine.”

Snoke’s greed and self-centeredness lit a flame of resentment in Kylo, but he clouded over it with the Force, tucking it under his consciousness where the Supreme Leader could not see it.

“As you will it, Master,” Ren bowed as Snoke dismissed him, and he returned to the _Night Buzzard_ where the Knights of Ren awaited him.

~~~~~~

Livia lay in the bath, soaking under a coating of soft bubbles and feeling satisfied with the excellent marks she’d achieved on her astromechanical exam. She was just steps away from completing the Interstellar Studies course and receiving her commission, and she was elated until she remembered the tiny obstacle that would now stand in the way of all her plans and happiness: Kylo’s child. She knew there was no way she could pilot a ship with a belly full of baby in front of her, and she resented him putting it in her, unwittingly or not.

She tried to think of anything she knew that she could do to bring on a miscarriage, but between Kylo and all the guard dogs he’d set on her, she could think of nothing to rid herself of her physical burden. 

The nurses had stripped the quarters of any objects, chemicals, or medications that could be used in any way to induce an abortion, and someone was by Livia’s side every minute of every day as they changed shifts three times a day. No door could be closed behind her, let alone locked, and they carefully inspected everything she ate and drank, providing the majority of it to her themselves. But Livia couldn’t be angry with them, for they were as kind to her as they could be under the circumstances and she knew they were as enslaved by Kylo as she was, and none could disobey him.

“Miss Livia,” one of the nurses called to her from the bedroom, “are you ready to come out of the bath yet? You shouldn’t stay in there too long, the heat could be bad for the baby.”

“I should be so fortunate,” Livia sighed, as she admittedly noticed her fingers were wrinkled from the extended time she’d spent in the water. The nurse bustled in with a warm towel, ready to help assist her from the tub, keeping her from ‘falling’ and hurting herself or the baby. The nurses were taking every precaution against accidents that perhaps weren’t accidents at all, so that Livia knew there was no path for her to escape this pregnancy.

Years ago when Livia had first found out she was infertile, she had thrown away all hopes of being a mother, mentally training herself to not only accept her childless state but to actively embrace it, so much so that she began to hate the sight of children. She reveled in her ability to come and go as an adult with no whiny babies demanding her time, no petulant toddlers having tantrums in her presence, no sulking teenagers around to ruin her peace and quiet. It was just her and David in their marriage - he had his career, and she had hers, and they were happy that way.

Now, she was facing the prospect of a squalling infant clinging to her and becoming her responsibility for the next twenty-some years, and it was devastating to her. She was in no way prepared to be a mother, and she wanted nothing to do with a child. Maybe she should take Kylo up on his offer to raise it himself so that she could go off on her own with her freedom and do as she saw fit.

“Let’s get a snack in you and put you to bed,” the nurse fussed at her. “A small something to eat before sleep can help the morning sickness.”

Livia tolerated the woman’s tending to her, and she even enjoyed the milk and crackers the nurse brought her in bed, although she also had to put up with having her temperature taken, and her blood pressure checked, and they even wanted to test her blood twice a week. It was insane.

“Good night, Miss Livia,” the nurse said as she tucked the young woman in and turned down the lights, settling into a chair nearby and watching over her while she slept. Not one moment of Livia’s day was unsupervised, and she began counting the days when her body could rid itself of its unwanted passenger and leave her to herself once more.

~~~~~~

The flight from Commander Ren’s meeting with the Supreme Leader back to the _Finalizer_ gave him the opportunity to sit down with his six comrades and advance his agenda. He was nervous, for should they decide their loyalty was to Snoke and not to him, he would be forced to kill them all before the ship landed.

“I must confide in all of you of my future plans, for which I must ask for your allegiance,” he began.

“Ren, you know we are your devoted compatriots. We have been for years, you have no reason to believe otherwise,” Cardo proclaimed.

Ren was Kylo’s designation, his title, not his surname which he had attained by earning the fealty of these men, and it gave him comfort to hear Cardo confirm it, but as he read the faces of the other men, he saw one who he believed could pose a threat.

“Vicrul, what say you?” Ren asked.

“What are you asking of us, Ren?” the elder man asked.

“I am asking you to reconfirm your loyalty.”

“And why would you suddenly be concerned that you would have to ask for it?” Vicrul queried the young leader, his mien suspicious.

“Days are coming where events will come to pass, power will be changing hands, and I must know who is willing to follow me into fire and fury,” Ren replied.

Vicrul looked down at his weapon where he was thumbing the power switch of his vibro-scythe, and Kylo took it as a threat as he rose to address his men with the courage of his conviction.

“Any who seek to abandon their commitment to me are free to do so, here and now. From this day forward, every move I make will be toward securing my legacy. I am going to be a father, and I will no longer be a slave to Snoke. When my child comes into this world, it will be as a prince, and not a pawn.”

The Night Buzzard was silent save for the sound of the hyperdrive engines smoothly whisking them across the lightspeed lanes, until Vicrul cleared his throat.

“Ren, I warned you, that woman was going to fuck with your head, and this is what it’s brought you to,” he threatened.

“Vicrul, you’ve been like the father my own never was, but I swear to you, I will cut you down where you stand if you think to cross me,” Kylo countered.

Vicrul stood to face Kylo, both men’s expressions visible without their helms, their eyes meeting with determination.

“Brothers,” Kuruk intervened, “we must keep the destruction of the Resistance and the victory of the First Order utmost in our minds. If Ren seeks to set his focus on that, I see no reason why we cannot rally behind him. You, Vicrul, must know that a man who fights for his family fights even harder than a man who has none.”

“Maybe,” Vicrul acceded, “but he may also fight less heartily, more cautiously, if he fears he will not return to that family.”

“I have already sacrificed much, Vicrul,” Kylo reminded his comrade as he dwelt on the death of his father and his unborn twins, as well as what he himself had endured. “Do not think to question my dedication to this cause. Now, all of you must know that it is my intention to usurp the throne of the Supreme Leader, and should any of you find me unworthy, so say now.”

Kylo reached out, feeling in the Force for signs of hesitation or obfuscation, sensing only Vicrul’s unwillingness to fully commit to the goal of putting Ren at the head of the entire Order.

“I will follow you, Ren, but only so long as you hold yourself worthy. The day you make one misstep against our well-being, I will gut you like a Nubian scalefish,” he threatened his leader succinctly.

~~~~~~

“Livia, get up,” Kylo urged her, pulling the blanket from her and patting her cheek gently. “Livia.”

“What?” she groaned as she tried to wake from a sound sleep.

“I need to get you off-ship, we’re going into battle and I can’t have you onboard. You’re going where I can keep you safe for a while.”

“Oh, god, Kylo, no,” she whined, before leaning over the side of the bed to vomit.

“Oh, Livia,” he said. She could tell from his tone that he felt bad for her, and he ran to fetch a cloth to wipe her face. “The nurses are going to transport you to another ship, and I’ll rejoin you in a couple of days.”

She was feeling terrible, and she was confused. It was making her frightened.

“Kylo, don’t leave me,” she pleaded with him.

Her words tugged at his heart, but duty came first. “I have to, Livia. I don’t want to, but this is the only way I can keep you safe. Come,” he said, pulling her to her feet as she felt the ship accelerating. He put her jacket around her shoulders as he gave the nursing staff their instructions.

“They’ll take good care of you until I return,” he said before he leaned down to kiss her quickly, before she could protest. “Please take care of the baby. Please,” he pleaded with her, his growing attachment to the child almost pitiful to her as he reached down to lightly stroke her belly. His face contorted in what looked like regret, and he kissed her once more on the head before turning to enjoin the battle while the nurses escorted her to a small transport ship.

As Livia and the nursing staff set out in their shuttle, one of them fitted her behind the ear with a small device to suppress motion sickness, for which she was grateful for she knew that flying under these conditions alone was likely to make her throw up. She could see through a viewport near her seat that far beyond the _Finalizer_ , there were a growing number of ships appearing out of hyperspace which she knew must be the Resistance. Although she had been cultivating a deep resentment in her heart towards Kylo, she didn’t want to see him die, and a small part of her began to worry about his well-being. Her hand strayed subconsciously to her abdomen where her weeks-old baby was growing, her fears about losing its father rising up in the back of her mind.

The nurses did not miss her gesture, though, and while Livia’s gaze was fixed out the window, their gaze was fixed on her, and they surreptitiously nudged each other knowingly, keeping their smiles tight amongst themselves.


	18. Breakaway

Livia’s shuttle had docked with the _Supremacy_ , a ship she didn’t think could possibly have been any bigger than the _Finalizer_ , yet it was nearly four times the size and was the flagship of the Supreme Leader. Livia was terrified to be in direct proximity to the being who exercised complete control over Kylo, who in turn exercised complete control over her. Much as she resented Kylo at the moment, she was eager for him to return and fetch her back to safety, far from Snoke.

The women were met at the landing pad by a retinue of troopers and escorted to the quarters that had been prepared for them. It was a rather large suite of rooms, styled not unlike Ren’s on the _Finalizer_ , with a similar transparisteel observation window and the same dark interior. It was also outfitted with comparable furniture, a larger kitchen, and four bedrooms with each having refreshers en suite, and Livia was overwhelmed by the lavishness of its surroundings. Once the troopers delivered them into their new lodgings, the nurses took turns watching Livia while settling all of them into their respective bedrooms, reserving the largest for Kylo and ensconcing Livia in the room next to him, while the nurses occupied the two rooms across the suite where they would each be ensured of privacy while one of them was always at the side of Livia.

They bustled around tucking away belongings, setting up housekeeping and generally keeping an eye on Livia. Oh, how she was coming to resent this constant supervision, but she blamed herself, ashamed at her propensity for angry outbursts, her Italian temper getting the better of her at times. Had she only kept her mouth shut, she would have been left to her own devices where she could have aborted the fetus before Kylo knew what happened. Instead, she let her anger overtake her reasoning and she had broadcast her intentions so that he felt it necessary to have her kept under strict monitoring day and night. She couldn’t even use the toilet without being overseen, which was probably the worst part of the entire ordeal, aside from being impregnated in the first place.

Livia sat down to study for her final exams which Captain Tarvill had scheduled for a week after the current incursion, confident the First Order would come to a swift victory over the Resistance and allow them all to return to normal functions quickly. She was determined to score exceptionally on the tests, hopeful that success in the classroom would open more doors for her than those currently available to her, and that one of them would lead her away from Kylo altogether.

~~~~~~

A TIE Silencer screamed past the observation window of the deck of the _Raddus_ , sending a thrumming disturbance through the Force that Leia had not felt in forever. It tugged at her heart and womb, and she knew it had to be the life signature of her son, taken from her by treachery and subterfuge those many years ago.

“Ben,” the name softly tumbled from her lips, just moments before the universe imploded around her, the vacuum of space engulfing her in its bitter nothingness.

But Ren did not hear her as his ship veered past the wreckage, only sensed her in a small tingle of warmth in his heart, its connection impressing upon him his own impending parenthood, that very connection he heartbreakingly seemed unable to impress upon Livia. But he could not let this deter him from his mission. Instead, he refocused his efforts toward the eradication of the Resistance, one ship, one planet, one star system at a time.

While Leia’s rescue was effected between her own Force abilities and the crew of the _Raddus_ , Ren’s TIE steered deftly through the field of battle, demolishing bombers and corvettes, cruisers and transports. Nothing escaped his ire, no target was immune from his vengeance as he raked missiles and warheads and proton torpedoes across the surface of every enemy ship he could engage, and after hours in which he wore himself out and found himself sweating and cramping within the cabin of his fighter, Ren heard the recall code harkening the squadrons back to the _Finalizer_.

When Kylo returned, he nearly fell out of the vessel before he trudged exhaustedly back to the war room to debrief the senior staff on their successes.

~~~~~~

The door to the suite opened to reveal Commander Kylo Ren, worn and weary. Livia was conflicted over seeing him, returning her attention to her datapad where scores of formulae awaited her attention. They spoke not a word to each other, though Kylo inquired about her health and well-being from the nurses, who were only too happy to report on her, including a small aside whispered amongst themselves to which Livia was not privy.

“On the way over, we noticed her hand over the baby,” one of the nurses whispered to Kylo, smiling as she said it.

“Was she not well?” he asked with worry.

“No, no,” another responded, “she just seemed… as if she was thinking about it.”

Kylo was hopeful Livia was beginning to consider changing her mind about ridding herself of the child, but he wasn’t going to allow himself to be so easily swayed, especially after how vociferously she objected to the whole idea to begin with.

“Please stay on alert. I don’t trust her, and neither should you,” he cautioned them, and they nodded in unison at his warning. “Who is on duty tonight?” he asked, to which a pert, young blonde raised her hand.

“I am, Commander. Please let me know if you need anything, and I’ll be sure to wake you should anything untoward happen,” she responded.

Ren nodded, unhooking his cloak himself, something Livia used to do for him as a show of affection, but had neglected ever since she’d turned her attentions away from him. While it wasn’t that he was incapable of doing it himself, it was that the small gesture had come to mean much to him at the end of a hard day.

“Would you like help?” one of the other nurses offered.

“Thank you, no,” he replied, striding toward his quarters and closing the door behind him, leaving Livia in the nurses’ capable hands. Left in his own company, the silence beckoned to him with relief. The last day and a half had been hell, between the preparations, shuttling Livia off the _Finalizer_ , the battle itself and then the after-action meetings, and he was drained. He kicked his boots off, the thought reminding him of how lovely Livia used to look when she would kneel down, smiling submissively at his feet to help him out of them, those moments now just a fleeting memory. Kylo was so weary, he laid down on the bed, fully-clothed, and let sleep take him, his dreams full of terrifying visions of Snoke holding his bloodied child while Hux looked on in amusement…

~~~~~~

Livia had aced her finals, much to her classmates chagrin as she easily outpaced them in her scores. However, they could not readily assign her success to anyone but her; the exam was proctored via computer, the questions identical for every student, and the testing environment extremely controlled to prevent any type of cheating whatsoever. They knew as well as she that her success could only be attributed to her raw talent and dedication, despite their annoyance with her.

She couldn’t help but preen to Kylo when she returned to quarters that evening, her usual complement of two troopers in tow as they turned to stand sentry outside Ren’s rooms.

“I aced them,” she announced boastfully to Ren the moment the doors slid open, and he was taken aback by her addressing him directly after giving him the silent treatment for weeks now.

“Your exams?” he confirmed.

“Yes,” she exclaimed loudly, “now you can make me part of the flight crew, and this stupid ankle bracelet can come off.”

“Congratulations, but that’s not up to me,” Kylo said, returning stoically to the datapad he’d been studying when she’d entered. “However, I’ll discuss it with the Supreme Leader and see what I can do.”

“Why don’t you just stand up to him already for fuck’s sake!” Livia taunted him angrily. “What kind of man are you?”

Ren looked up from his datapad, his grip on the object becoming so tight, she could hear it snapping from where she stood, and she realized she’d gone too far.

“You know not of what you speak, woman,” he said coldly. “I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself in this matter before things get worse for you.” And he stood up and left the room, the nurse whose shift it was to supervise Livia hanging in the background as far as she dared, terrified to come between the two.

For his part, Kylo retreated to his room behind closed doors and slammed the datapad against the wall, the screen shattering as it gave off sparks and died as it fell to the floor. Thankfully, the data was backed up elsewhere, but Ren was angered beyond words, especially at himself for letting her get to him that way. She had a unique ability to push his buttons and he didn’t know if he could continue residing with her until the birth of the baby without throttling her.

Livia herself flopped satisfactorily on the couch, having redirected her classmates’ ire against her towards Kylo instead, though she didn’t consciously recognize the fact. However, her nurse admonished her, concerned for her welfare should she continue to engage in such behavior toward the commander.

“He will not likely tolerate further attacks of this sort against his person, Miss Livia,” the girl warned her.

“Fuck him,” Livia countered, unwilling to take the words of the young nurse seriously. “You may be afraid of him, but I’ve had all the abuse off of him I’m going to take. He doesn’t dare touch me now that I’m pregnant, and he knows it,” she replied, sneering as she said it.

The nurse thought it was not well done of Livia to play with fire in that manner, but she kept her opinion to herself, remembering her main task was to ensure the welfare of the baby and protect it from its mother’s wishes to do harm to it. Staying quiet, she took up a seat near Livia and busied herself knitting a small cap of fine white threads for the baby, the task keeping her mind occupied while leaving her able to divide her attention between her work and her charge.

“What are you doing?” Livia asked suspiciously.

“I’m crafting a cap for the baby,” the nurse smiled sweetly, hoping she’d be kept on for the opportunity to help raise the tiny creature once it made its appearance.

Livia rose from her perch on the couch to snatch the small garment from the nurse, causing a needle to jab the young lady in the hand.

“Ow!” she cried out, shocked at Livia’s attack on her person. “Miss Livia, whatever is the matter?”

“You don’t need this, because there’s not going to be a baby! Now, knock it off, and I don’t want to see you doing this ever again, do you hear me?” Livia roared at her, causing the nurse to tear up at the unwarranted abuse.

“I’m sorry, Miss Livia, I was only trying to be helpful,” she supplied softly as she tried to ameliorate Livia’s anger.

Kylo opened the door of his room to investigate the uproar. He was now clad only in his pants and naught else, and the sight of him took both women unawares.

“What’s going on in here?” he demanded.

“I’m so sorry, Commander, I seem to have upset Miss Livia with my knitting,” she replied.

“What?” he asked, confused. “Livia, what is the matter with you?”

“She has no business making anything for this baby, it’s none of her damn business, and I don’t want to be reminded of it!” she groused.

“She was making something for the baby and you got angry at her?” he asked incredulously.

Livia didn’t answer, she merely returned to her spot on the couch, fuming. Meanwhile, another of the nurses came out to see to the welfare of her colleague, helping to patch up the puncture in the young girl’s hand.

This was further evidence to Kylo that Livia was not softening toward the idea of a child, and he and the nurses would need to continue their constant vigilance of her in order to secure the baby’s well-being. Kylo was afraid that by the time the child arrived, he’d be such a nervous wreck, he wouldn’t have the presence of mind to care for it. He only hoped he could outlast her anger and need for revenge on him and the child both.

Kylo also inspected the nurse’s injuries and encouraged her to take some time to herself to look after her injury.

“I’ll sit with Livia, you go ahead and get some rest,” Ren said, his kindness surprising the young nurse.

“Thank you, sir,” she said, gathering up her things while averting her gaze from Livia, afraid she would once again spark the woman’s anger.

Once the nurses had vacated the living room, Kylo turned on Livia.

“What is wrong with you? There was no need to hurt her that way,” he said.

“Nobody needs to be making anything for a baby that’s not going to come,” she said, her tone full of rancor.

“Why are you being like this?” he asked. “Your anger and resentment is out of hand, and you’re taking it out on people who don’t deserve it.”

“Oh, you mean like you?” she asked sarcastically.

“No,” he replied, defeated. “I deserve everything you’re doing to me, but they don’t. It’s not their fault we’re in this position, and you’re just making it harder on them.”

“I’ll make you a deal, dear Kylo,” she said. “You can knock one of them up and see if they wanna carry your baby, see how they like it.”

“You’re just being unreasonable,” he replied, exasperated. “I’m done talking to you.”

“Good,” she said, fuming, “because I’m sick of listening to your childish whining. ‘Oh, poor me, my mommy and daddy didn’t love me, my boss is mean, I wanna have a baby!’ Oh boo-hoo!”

“You would have made an excellent Sith, Livia. Your capacity for cruelty nearly matches my own,” he said bluntly as he turned his back on her to sit at the dining table and await the next nurse’s shift. While he lounged quietly, sipping a glass of wine and mulling over his situation, he watched her reading, and the two ignored each other until the night charge nurse emerged from tending to her colleague’s injury, ready for duty.

Kylo approached the nurse and quietly warned her about Livia’s outburst, dissuading her from doing anything to remind Livia of the baby before he returned to his room for some much needed rest. The last thing he saw before he closed the door was Livia’s angry visage drilling holes into him from across the room.

~~~~~~

Hours later, Kylo woke in a cold sweat, the dream of Hux and Snoke leering over his injured child haunting his sleep. It was becoming a recurring nightmare, even more vivid than his memories of killing his father, and he was terrified that this wasn’t a memory but a Force vision, a harbinger of the future.

But Kylo also noticed as the thoughts of impending parenthood loomed ahead of him that his feelings towards his own father were changing, evolving. No longer did he hold an unwavering resentment toward Han, but Kylo began to soften his memories towards the old smuggler as he thought of his own behavior and how it would reflect upon his relationship with his own child. Could he be a good father to the baby while still serving the First Order and Snoke the way he had these past ten years? The thought of raising a child in the shadow of the dark side the way he himself was raised in the shadow of the Resistance was making him question everything he thought of himself and his life, and Kylo was beginning to see things from a very different perspective.

~~~~~~

Morning came, and with it a whirlwind of activity. Livia’s nurses were busy gathering up her belongings again, and Kylo was busying himself to transport the women back to the _Finalizer._

“You’ll be going back to our quarters and you’ll stay there until I come for you, understand?” Kylo asked, his visage deadly serious, making Livia realize something of great import was about to happen.

“What’s going on, Kylo? I want to know before you ship me somewhere else, this isn’t right!” Livia demanded.

“Livia, I have to protect you and the baby, and there’s nothing I can tell you that will help you right now. You have to listen to me and do as I say,” he commanded her as he pushed her towards the door where the Knights of Ren were awaiting him.

Seeing their appearance at Kylo’s quarters gave her pause - now she knew things were getting serious.

“Where are you going?” she demanded of Ren as cold chills ran through her. “Tell me now!”

Kylo’s face was determined and set with purpose, and he leaned down to cup her face in his strong hands, pressing his lips to hers in farewell.

As Kylo pulled away, she noticed him glance over at Vicrul, the two men staring each other down, and the tension was palpable.

“Go now,” was all he said to her before turning to direct his men as the nurses bustled her out of the quarters and they headed toward the landing bay, once again escorted by a contingent of troopers. Livia tried to get one last look at Kylo, and she could see his deadly countenance as he stood taller than his comrades, his gaze meeting her briefly before she disappeared around a corner.

The entire ship seemed empty, and Livia was becoming frightened as her intuition was telling her something horrible was about to come to pass. The walk to the ship seemed interminably long, the shuttle flight seeming to take forever as well, and once they returned to Kylo’s quarters, Livia could only watch through the window for any signs of what could possibly be taking place, but the _Finalizer_ seemed to be moving away from the center of whatever was happening. There was no activity around the ship, no starfighters scuttering about, no other transports coming and going. It was too quiet.

One of the nurses came to Livia’s side and put her arm around her shoulders, comforting her. “It will be alright, Miss Livia,” she reassured the young woman. “Commander Ren is strong and intelligent, he’ll be fine.”

Livia stayed silent, her mind torn between the chance that Kylo would not return and it would mean she would be free, or the chance that he would not come back and her life would get even worse. And for the first time, she began to consider how important he was to her, and how much she would be devastated to be left alone to raise a child without its father. And the idea of being alone in the universe with a tiny baby among strangers frightened her more than Ren himself.


	19. Free

“The time has come,” Ren instructed his men. “I am ready to take up my rightful place on the throne and I am committed to seeing this through. Snoke’s days of ruling over us as the Supreme Leader are at an end.”

“We’re with you, Ren,” Cardo replied, his hand shifting his massive blaster in its holster, eager for a fight and looking to his comrades to ascertain their sense of unity. The only discord seemed to be emanating from Vicrul, which came as no surprise to Kylo.

“Vicrul, I need to know you are with me, as I am with you,” Ren stated. “You will be made my captain of the guard, and I will look to all of you for support and guidance in the days to come. You are my brothers, and I rely upon you. You know this,” the young man said earnestly.

“Remember what I said,” Vicrul reminded the young leader. “If you toss us over for that wench and your whelp, so help you gods, Kylo.”

“And I will not. I have pledged my loyalty to you, Vicrul,” Kylo said in reply.

“Then lead on,” the elder soldier responded.

The group marched in lockstep all the way to Snoke’s chamber, Kylo channeling the Force to pull the blast doors open, and with unhindered access, the troupe laid waste to the Praetorian guard before they’d barely had a chance to draw their weapons.

Snoke alone remained, and Kylo alone confronted him.

“My fetters are broken this day,” the young man announced to the monster who would no longer remain his master. “I will make myself free and you will no longer reign over me. I am my own man, master of my own destiny, and that throne will be mine.”

Snoke scoffed at his young apprentice. “You’re too weak and pathetic to replace me, Ren. You’re still a child, playing at power. You have no idea how to wield it, how it works. Let me show you!”

The Supreme Leader rose from his throne, his golden robes shimmering around him as he drew himself up to his full height and gathered the Force within himself to destroy the young man before him.

But Kylo was prepared, having learned secrets that he had not shared with Snoke, secrets that would enable him to overcome the freakish being who had controlled his life for far too long, and as Snoke commanded the power of the Force into a weapon of electricity, Kylo was ready.

Instead of being decimated by the energy Snoke spat at him, Kylo absorbed it within himself and transformed it, multiplying its strength by channeling more Force energy into the existing form before returning the ethereal weaponry back at its maker.

Snoke was stunned, and the shock of watching Kylo’s newfound powers be turned against himself caught him off guard just long enough for the bolts of Force lightning to penetrate Snoke through every pore of his decrepit body, reducing him to ash in mere seconds.

As the smell of ozone and ionized flesh hung heavily in the air, the room was deafeningly silent save for the heavy breathing of the warriors who had just come from battle as they stood behind Kylo Ren, now de facto ruler of the galaxy. Ren mounted the steps to the throne, his hand emitting the lightest shred of Force energy to whisk away every last trace of the dust that formerly comprised the body of Snoke, and he turned to look over his comrades.

“The Supreme Leader… is dead,” Kylo announced with relief and finality.

The room hung silent, until a voice rang out, “Long Live the Supreme Leader,” as every Knight fell to his knee, showing renewed fealty to Kylo as the new Supreme Leader.

And Kylo noted the last to kneel was Vicrul.

~~~~~~

Livia heard the sounds of marching outside their quarters, and the nurses all received incoming messages on their combadges at the same time.

“What is it?” Livia asked nervously. “What’s going on?” 

The nurses' faces were grim as they read over the message, one of them stopping to read it twice, three times, to be sure it was indeed what it appeared. Another of them called to the bridge for confirmation, turning her back and inquiring in a near-whisper.

“You’re sure? This is absolutely true, no question?” she asked. “I see.”

She looked to the other two nurses and nodded to verify the message.

“What’s true?” Livia demanded, walking over to grab one of the combadges and reading the text for herself.

 _LEVEL 1 ALERT_ _  
_ _-S.L. SNOKE DECEASED._ _  
_ _-COMDR. REN SEIZES POWER._ __  
_-ORDERS TO FOLLOW._  
_-LONG LIVE S.L. REN._

Livia inhaled in shock. “What does this mean?” she asked in hushed tones.

“Sit her down,” one of the nurses instructed her colleagues, “she looks faint.”

The two closest to Livia supported her arms, walking her over to the sofa where they let her sit. Livia did indeed feel clammy, and she realized as she sat and felt her face that her skin was cold and sweaty. One of the nurses produced a scanner to check her over while another helped her lie down, elevating Livia’s feet. Her breath was coming short and shallow, and she was terrified.

“I’ll check with the guard,” one of the nurses announced and left the other two to watch over Livia, who tried reassuring her.

“Commander Ren, I mean, Supreme Leader will be back, everything is fine,” she tried convincing Livia as much as herself.

“Kylo’s the Supreme Leader,” Livia said, the truth of the statement ringing hollow in her ears, though she was sure it was true. Everything had been leading up to this, she could see it now. The nights Kylo was studying, practicing in his training room, the Knights, all of it. He had sent her away for her own safety as he went off to do battle, and now he was the ruler of the entire First Order, possibly the galaxy.

The doors of the suite slid aside to reveal a contingent of elite troops now guarding the women, including Captain Phasma in all her chrome glory. “Stay put,” Phasma warned the nurse, “we’re here to protect you, but you must remain inside until all garrisons have been secured and all departments accounted for.”

The blast doors shut hard, the sound of the portal closing giving off an ominous ‘clang’ in the silence. It was then that the women noticed many of the ship’s systems were powering down and the engines had stopped. All First Order activity had come to a halt, and after what seemed like hours, a voice rang out over the ship’s comm systems.

“My comrades, my people,” Kylo’s voice echoed over every speaker in the First Order systems, his masked face glaring down at every individual over every vidscreen in First Order space. “I greet you as the new face of the First Order. No longer are we to be ruled by dark forces bent on subjugating its members for exploitation and greed. I have come to restore peace and order throughout the galaxy and to bring about the successful completion of the plans of my grandfather, Lord Darth Vader.”

Every trooper, pilot, administrator, and officer throughout the Order was hanging upon Kylo’s words as their new young leader laid out his grand plans for conquest.

“No longer will the scattered star systems run roughshod over our rule, for I will not tolerate the rebellious disruption of such undisciplined peoples. The Resistance has been crushed, I have taken the throne as your new Supreme Leader, and we will once again be ruled as a great Empire. Fear not for your future, for by the power of the Force and with the support of the Knights of Ren we shall have centralized, civilized rule in the galaxy for millennia to come. I thank you for your loyal and continued service, and know that while I am now the ultimate power in the galaxy, I will rule with fairness and justice.”

The camera’s angle widened to show Kylo Ren seated on the throne of the Supreme Leader, and from behind rang out the call from his Knights. “The Supreme Leader is dead, long live the Supreme Leader,” the sentiment echoed throughout the First Order ranks all across the galaxy that day.

The nurses could barely turn their heads away from the vidscreen in Kylo’s quarters, but when they did, they found Livia shivering, her arms wrapped around herself as she realized she now carried the child of the most powerful man in the entire galaxy.

“Miss Livia,” one of them approached her, while her colleague gently corrected her.

“I believe it’s ‘my lady,’ now,” she said.

Another chimed in. “Wait, doesn’t this make her Empress?”

“No,” the third advised, “it makes her consort in waiting until the baby is born. Then she’s dowager Empress. I think.”

“Good god, what are you talking about?” Livia cried out, frightened at the implications of what they were saying to her. She was angry that Kylo hadn’t warned her, but she understood why - she wouldn’t have been able to handle the news of an impending power struggle to take over the galaxy, just like she wasn’t handling it now.

“My lady, don’t fret, you mustn’t upset yourself,” one of them advised her, checking Livia’s blood pressure.

Livia was too shocked at the turn of events to object to the girl’s fussing.

“Let’s lay her down in her bedroom,” one of them advised, and Livia was still too stunned to object.

The three women put her to bed amidst a growing sense of restlessness, and they closed the door to her room, leaving her in semi-darkness, one of the nurses sitting quietly with her as the girl continued scanning the news feed for updates.

Livia was overcome by questions, but finally she gave in to the stress and strain of the day and fell asleep, the unknown overwhelming her with its uncertainty.

~~~~~~

“Where is she?” Kylo asked the nurses quietly as he returned to his meager quarters on the _Finalizer_.

“She’s asleep, Supreme Leader,” the nurse curtsied to him, unsure of the protocol she should now follow.

“That’s not necessary,” Ren said kindly to her. “Wake her, we need to vacate the ship, I’m taking you all back to the _Supremacy_ where the security is tighter, let’s go.”

“Yes, my lord,” she replied, scurrying to do Kylo’s bidding. There was a bustle of activity in the bedroom as Kylo directed a cadre of troopers and droids to pack up all of his and Livia’s belongings.

“Kylo!” Livia called to him from the bed, her head a mass of confusion.

He came to her side, his jacket rumpled and smelling of smoke and ozone, and even Livia could sense the waves of Force energy still clinging to his person.

“What happened? Why didn’t you tell me? What’s going on?”

“I’ll explain everything to you later, for now, we need to hurry. The _Supremacy_ is awaiting us,” he said, pulling her to her feet. She was wearing only a nightgown, and one of the nurses brought her into the refresher for privacy to dress for the trip. Before Livia knew it, she and Kylo were in the hallway, surrounded by droids and nurses and heavily armed troopers, all marching toward the docking bay where his command shuttle awaited them. This was the ship Livia was to have joined the flight crew, and she thought with irony how after all she’d worked for, that was never likely to happen now.

Kylo himself buckled her into a seat in the rear, carefully tucking her restraint under the small swell of her belly so as not to injure the baby should it become needed. Kylo’s Force-sense brushed against the child as he touched Livia, and he could sense the life signature of his son. “A boy,” he whispered to himself, smiling…

“Are you comfortable?” he asked Livia gently.

His actions showed her how much he cared about the child and despite her feelings on the matter, she found his concern touching. She nodded silently, still taken aback by all that had transpired, the reality not yet sinking in.

“I have to pilot the ship, but the nurses will stay with you until we land,” he reassured her before kissing her and heading up to the cockpit where she watched him next to Kuruk, the two men steering the ship expertly out of the docking bay and heading back toward the _Supremacy_.

Once there, the ship landed amidst battalions of troopers assembled to greet their newly installed leader, and Kylo re-donned his helmet before he stepped down from the ramp. As he did, every soldier snapped to attention, the collective noise of a hundred thousand troopers saluting at once creating a deafening cacophony in the expanse of the gargantuan hangar.

Livia was overwhelmed at the spectacle and as Kylo looked back to check on her, he whispered through his vocoder to the nurses, “See to your lady.”

“Yes, my lord,” one of them replied, her arm slipping around Livia to support the young woman as her face went pale.

“Don’t faint, my lady,” she advised, pulling a small vial from her pocket and waving it under Livia’s nose, the pungent smell bringing her out of her swoon. “We have far to go before we are back in your quarters, and this is a very important moment for the Supreme Leader.”

“Alright, just get me back, quickly,” Livia pleaded, unaccustomed to such elaborate displays of power. Her late husband had been only a junior senator, and she herself had attended few government functions. Those she had were on a scale much smaller than what she was seeing.

The group formed a procession, marching smartly down the rows and rows of troops, Ren reviewing them with a new appreciation, until het met General Hux and Allegiant General Pryde awaiting him at the entrance to the hangar.

“Supreme Leader,” Pryde saluted them, the junior general following his lead. “Welcome aboard the _Supremacy_ , your flagship. I commission this ship and its staff to your leadership.”

“Thank you, General Pryde,” Ren replied. “Your _loyalty_ ,” and as he stressed the word, he turned slightly towards Hux, “is greatly appreciated. Meet me in my ready room in one hour, both of you, I would have your full reports.”

“Very good, Supreme Leader,” Pryde answered, and the group swept past the two generals and their staff before marching through the bay doors towards Kylo’s new quarters, previously occupied by Snoke. Livia caught Hux’s gaze as she marched past him, and despite her addled frame of mind, she noted the leer of jealousy and resentment the general directed toward her, and it frightened her.

After what felt like miles of hallways, they finally arrived at the rooms that would become their new residence, and Livia was overtaken by its grandiosity. The entire facility was in black, the transparisteel window even larger than that in Kylo’s previous quarters. There were rooms upon rooms, and she was afraid she would become lost, for it felt like this was an entire wing of the ship more so than a suite.

Staff were still cleaning, tidying and unpacking their things when everyone arrived, but all was soon set to rights, and Kylo took care to ensure Livia was well looked-after and allowed to rest. Within his personal bedchamber were two refreshers, two dressing rooms, a sitting room and the bedroom itself with an immense bed in the middle which was so tall, it required steps for Livia to reach the mattress so that she could lie down.

The nurses fussed around her once more, two of them whispering to each other in concern.

“What is it?” Kylo asked worriedly.

“It’s minor,” one of them reassured him, “her blood pressure is elevated, but she’s had a difficult day. We’ll make sure she rests and keep an eye on it.”

“Very well” he replied, coming to Livia’s side. “I want you to stay here and do everything they tell you. I have to meet with my generals, but I’ll return as soon as I can.”

Livia was too scared and confused to argue, instead nodding her assent and letting Kylo kiss her gently on the forehead before he changed into a fresh uniform and slipped back into his mask as he marched from their quarters with a renewed sense of purpose.

~~~~~~

The Supreme Council was once again assembled, but this time, Ren was heading it, not being called before it.

“Well, Ren, you’ve finally gone and done it,” Hux observed from across the table as Kylo stalked around its perimeter and the snarky general applauded him with gloved hands, slowly and exaggeratedly. “You’ve made yourself Supreme Leader, well done.”

“Watch your tone, Hux,” Kylo threatened. “You’re no longer Snoke’s lapdog - you’re mine.”

This shut Hux up for a moment, long enough for Allegiant General Pryde to interject diplomatically, as always.

“Congratulations, Supreme Leader,” Pryde flattered Kylo, sitting back. “We are eager to hear your plans for the future, as I’m sure you are eager for us to provide you full reports on the current status of the fleet and government.”

“That I am,” Ren replied, “but first I want one thing made clear. I am not Snoke. I am not Vader. I am my own man, and I won’t be flattered, manipulated or undermined. I intend to rule justly and fairly, but I will rule ruthlessly. Make no mistake. You should also know, if you have not already heard, I am to be a father, and if anyone seeks to interfere with my family in any way,” and here he turned again to Hux, “they will die a thousand deaths as they beg for my mercy, which will be denied them.”

“Well, more congratulations are in order then,” Hux responded, to which Ren was forced to express his gratitude.

For the next several hours, the group discussed the current state of readiness of the entire First Order’s defenses, its offensive capabilities, its financial and tangible holdings and its strategic outlook. Ren came to the conclusion that he had much to accomplish, but time was on his side, and though he didn’t trust Hux, the man was a keen military mind, a successful progeny of his late father Brindol Hux.

Pryde was also an asset, and Kylo was grateful to have won Enric to his cause after his adventures with Ryelle. In fact, as the meeting broke up, Enric approached him.

“I heard you saw Ellie recently, how is she?” he asked, hopeful for news of his daughter.

“She’s well,” Ren answered, the memory of his friend bringing a smile to both men’s faces. “You’d be very proud of her, she’s doing excellent work, getting lots of fresh air and loving what she does. She’s quite an asset to Planetary Management, and I look forward to arranging another promotion for her. I wouldn’t be here without her. Just do yourself a favor though, General,” Kylo advised him, “and don’t try forcing Hux on her. She can do better, and you and I both know it.”

“Too bad it won’t be with you,” Enric smiled tightly. Kylo could tell Pryde was disappointed he hadn’t managed to arrange a match between Ellie and Kylo. 

Kylo snorted through his vocoder. “She can do better than me, too,” he joked as he clapped Pryde on the shoulder jovially on his way out of the conference room.

Ren was exhausted by the events of the last day, and he held himself together as he was escorted back to his quarters where Kuruk and Cardo stood guard over Livia and the nurses.

“Is all well?” he asked as he arrived.

“Quiet as can be,” Cardo replied.

“Thank you both,” Kylo answered in relief. “Be sure to get some rest, we’ve all had a long couple of days.”

The Knights saluted him as they turned their positions over to the elite guards and retreated to their new quarters as Kylo entered his own new quarters to find all was as he left it. The nurses were changing shifts when he arrived and they gave him a good update on Livia, which calmed his fears for his child.

When he entered the bedchamber, a nurse was sitting nearby reading and retreated to allow Kylo some privacy while Livia lay dozing quietly in the enormous bed, almost lost among the fluffy comforters and pillows. Kylo watched her for some time, unsure how to feel about where she fit into his life after the turn of events, but determined to continue to convince her to let him have the baby, no matter what, though he would have preferred to think of the three of them together, living in the harmony his own family had never achieved. He pictured Livia holding their newborn infant with a smile on her face as the child sucked happily from his mother’s full breast as he watched protectively over them, giving them both everything their hearts desired. He would dote on his son, and on Livia as well if she would only let him...

Kylo’s exhaustion had overtaken him as he sat in a nearby chair, but hours later he startled awake as the same vision of his bloody child lying in Hux’s outstretched hands terrorized his sleep. The noise of his gasps woke Livia and she sat up, scared when she didn’t recognize her surroundings.

“It’s alright,” Kylo said, coming around to sit next to her on the bed and comforting her. “You’re safe, I’m here.”

“What happened, Kylo?” she asked.

“It’s a long story, Livia, but I’m no longer his prisoner,” he stated. “I’m no man’s prisoner.”

As he said it, Kylo realized with shame that in light of the changes in his life, neither could he in good conscience keep Livia his prisoner any longer.

“Give me your ankle,” he asked softly.

Livia blinked at him before understanding what he was asking her, and she lifted the leg wearing the ankle monitor out from under the covers and extended it to Kylo.

His lightsaber sprang to life in his hand, and while Livia cowered in fear from it, he gently and carefully slipped a tip of the crossguard under the ugly black band and removed the device from her leg. He understood what he’d done in setting her free and wondered if he was making a mistake, but knew that if he wanted the harmony of a true family that he desired, he was going to have to let that be hers by choice, not by force.

“You’re free,” he said solemnly, shutting down the deadly weapon. “You’re no longer my prisoner, either. You’re free to stay, or to go anywhere you’d like. I’d prefer you to remain here with me, be a mother to my son and help me rule the galaxy, but I can’t make you stay. That’s not the way I want things between us.”

Livia was silent as she considered his offer, looking at her ankle that hadn’t been bare in months and shocked by this further turn of events.

“You won’t make me have the baby?” she asked.

Kylo thought deeply for a moment before answering.

“No,” he conceded, so quietly she almost didn’t hear him as Kylo accepted that this meant he was going to lose another child, a child who had started to mean so much to him, and he saw himself as cursed, never to feel loved as a child or a parent.

Devastated, he turned his back to her and left her alone, seeking solace in the great room as he looked out the window over the fleet that now was his demesne. He was ruler of the entire galaxy, yet he couldn't convince one lone woman to bring forth his child into the universe, and despite his newfound power, he felt utterly helpless.

~~~~~~

Kylo had retreated to another room to sleep, leaving Livia alone to sort out what just happened. She mulled over all he’d said to her when she came back upon his mention that the baby was a boy - he’d said “my son.” She worked up her courage and went and knocked on his door.

“Kylo,” she tapped softly, hoping he was still awake.

He opened the door clad only in his briefs, the snug black fabric pulled tightly across his manhood and reminding Livia of the days when he’d fucked her so well.

“What,” he said, irritated.

“The baby,” she stammered.

His eyes went hard with worry. “Are you okay? Is he alright?”

“You said, ‘he’?” she asked, hope alighting in her eyes.

Kylo was surprised by the look he saw on her face.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “It’s a boy. I’ve felt him in the Force.”

A small smile crept across Livia’s face as Kylo revealed the secret to her and her imagination took hold on the news.

“Can you show me?” she asked.

“Show you what?” he asked, confused.

She held her hands over her belly. “Show me the baby, how you could feel him. Please.”

Kylo hesitated for a moment before he stepped back from the doorway and led her over to the bed.

“Lie down,” he said softly.

Livia lay on the bed, his room half the size of the one she was occupying and the lights low as Kylo readied for sleep. He knelt on the floor next to the bed and took her hands in his.

“Remain still,” he advised her as he settled into a meditative state, and slowly, Livia could start to feel a strange sensation passing through her. She closed her eyes and tried not to react, letting it wash over her as she waited to see what Kylo would do next when finally, a slight tremor in her mind grew, and she could sense another life between the two of them, a tiny spark in the nothingness that felt warm and good and right, and she gasped as she connected for the first time with what she knew was her baby.

“Do you feel that?” he asked solemnly.

“Yes,” she wept, overcome with joy. “He’s beautiful!”

Kylo let go her hands as the anger he harbored toward her began to boil within him. He didn’t know why she had bothered to put them both through this exercise when she was hellbent on destroying the helpless life within her.

“Go get some sleep,” Kylo said to her as he left her on the bed and closed himself off in his refresher, hoping Livia would leave before he came back out.

She did indeed return to the other room, laying quietly as the aura of her son’s presence slipping away back into the nothingness. She was left with a mixture of emotions as she tried to make sense of what it all meant, but that night she slept well for the first time in many weeks.


	20. Think It Over

“You’re dismissed,” Supreme Leader Ren instructed the nurses as he arose the next morning.

“But Supreme Leader, doesn’t Lady Livia need us?” one asked.

“No, she does not,” he reassured her. “There’s no longer any reason for you to stay.”

They began to whisper amongst themselves, and Kylo sought to end any speculation they may have been sharing.

“She’s decided not to have the baby,” he said softly, his voice cracking as he delivered the news to them.

They were still for a moment until one replied.

“I’m so sorry, Supreme Leader,” she said with sympathy, knowing how protective he had been over the babe. Another’s eyes were tearing up, the young girl who had been knitting the baby a cap.

“Thank you, ladies. You’ve performed admirably and I’ll be recommending each of you for promotion,” he consoled them. “You may go now.”

Kylo wanted to be alone with his grief, and he watched silently as they gathered their belongings and said a last goodbye to Livia before they left the royal quarters behind them. Then, Kylo made the final decision to retrieve Lieutenant Zimms from the _Finalizer_.

“I need you to come attend Livia. I’m allowing her to end the pregnancy,” he breathed into the communicator. He knew the procedure was dangerous and immoral, but as Supreme Leader, the doctor could not deny him.

Silence greeted him from the other end of the line until he finally heard the woman respond. “Very well, Supreme Leader, I’ll be there shortly.”

He went to the bedchamber he was to have shared with Livia and knocked on the door to find her at the vanity, brushing out her long, dark blonde hair, a soft pink dressing robe draped over her shoulders. He noted she’d already been outfitted with the new wardrobe of fine things he’d ordered provided to her, and she looked so lovely, it seemed a stark contrast to what was about to take place.

“Lieutenant Zimms will be here soon,” he announced, assuming she’d know why and he turned away from Livia before she could answer him, unable to cope with the impending death of his baby.

To keep his mind occupied, Kylo began relocating his things to one of the smaller bedrooms as there was no need to hold out the illusion that there was a relationship between the two of them anymore, and Livia watched in silence as Kylo walked back and forth to retrieve his belongings, transferring armfuls of clothing and toiletries from the large bedchamber to the room across the suite where he’d slept the night before.

The main door toned a short time later, and Ren invited in Lieutenant Zimms and an assistant, her face grim as she prepared to do the unthinkable.

“I wish you weren’t asking me to do this,” the doctor admonished him.

“So do I,” he replied, “but I can no longer fight her.”

“Very well,” she answered. “Where is she?”

Kylo indicated the bedchamber across the suite and accompanied the doctor, announcing the medic’s arrival.

Livia looked surprised at their appearance and spoke up.

“Was today supposed to be my check-up?” she asked.

“No, I’m here to terminate your pregnancy, as you requested,” Zimms replied coldly.

“Do you want me to stay with you for the procedure?” Kylo offered to Livia, though he deeply detested the idea of being present for such a barbaric act.

“It’s not necessary,” Lieutenant Zimms tried to dissuade him.

“I know it’s not, but it’s my duty,” he responded. “She is my responsibility, as is the child. I can’t run away and ignore what’s about to happen.”

“No,” Livia said softly, her voice cutting through the conversation going on around her.

“No, what?” asked Lieutenant Zimms while Kylo asked, “You don’t want me here?”

“I mean, no, I can’t do it, I- I’ve decided to keep it after all.” she said softly.

Kylo wasn’t at all sure he believed her, and he snorted as he came upon for a reason for Livia’s sudden about-face.

“I see,” he said, “now you’re to be the mother of a prince, there’s something in it for you. You’re a faithless whore,” he said, his words saturated with resentment and scorn as he left her behind with the doctor.

Lieutenant Zimms and the assistant watched Kylo storm off, aghast at his pronouncement.

“Livia, I hope for your sake that your motives are pure,” the doctor warned her, “because crossing Supreme Leader Ren will not be the same as crossing Commander Ren. He now holds the greatest power in the First Order, and I will not be able to help you.”

The doctor and her assistant whispered to each other as they turned to leave, the door closing quietly behind them as they bid the confused Supreme Leader their leave.

Livia sat quietly awaiting Kylo to return, expecting him to come back and berate her at any moment, but that never came. In fact, when she stepped out of the bedchamber to look for him, the entire quarters were now completely empty. Where before there had been Kylo and the nurses and the guards, now only two Knights of Ren stood ready outside the door of the Supreme Leader’s residence.

“Where did he go?” she asked one of them, which one, she wasn’t sure.

“The Supreme Leader is in conference,” he replied, shouldering his weapon. “Do you require anything?”

She merely shook her head and ducked back into their apartments, feeling very alone for the first time in a long time. She had nothing to study, nowhere to go, no one to speak with. Livia sat by herself trying to pass the time, rearranging the beautiful new things that had been delivered to her yesterday and reviewing old lessons on her datapad until finally, very late into the day cycle, Kylo returned.

He was stone-faced and he carried himself as if the weight of the universe were on his shoulders, and Livia leaned her head out of the bedchamber door to greet him.

“Hello,” she greeted him gently.

His head snapped up as if he were surprised she was still present.

“Hello, Livia,” he said as he turned his back to her and began unhooking his cape.

She moved to help him, but he shrugged away from her.

“This is no longer your task,” he said coldly as he sat to unbuckle his boots himself, also previously Livia’s role.

“Do you no longer care for me?” Livia asked.

“You never cared for me, so why does it matter?” he berated her.

“Yes, I did,” she choked out. “I do.”

“Liar,” he said. His face was beset by cynicism and rage. “You don’t care for me or the baby you carry, you see him merely as a path to enrich yourself and gain my favor, don’t you?”

“Kylo, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, I’m too confused to even think about any of that right now!” she exclaimed.

“Don’t play with my feelings, Livia,” he warned her as he set his cloak and boots aside. “I’m no longer amused by this back and forth, it’s become tedious and I’ve more important things to tend to than your heartless games.”

“How can you be so cruel?” she berated him.

“ _I’m_ cruel?” he asked, incredulous. “You must be joking! You call me monster then pretend to have feelings for me; you threaten to rip my child from your womb, then tell me you intend to keep it! At least do the courtesy of pretending to have respect for my intellect.”

“I do respect you, Kylo!” she shouted.

“Then show me!”

“What do you want from me?!” she pleaded.

“Treat me like the man that I am!” he raged as he pointed at his chest. “The father of your child, the master of my domain, not some weak Terran who comes and goes at your bidding, hanging upon your every whim! I just took over the entire fucking galaxy, so show me that you recognize I have the intelligence to see through your machinations!” he spat angrily.

Livia covered her face with her hands, frustrated and unsure what to say in reply.

“Save your woman’s weeping,” he said coldly, mistakenly assuming she was crying. “Your fake tears no longer sway me.”

He stomped off to his room for privacy, leaving Livia to make sense of his anger. She was confused because she thought he’d be happy she was going to see the pregnancy through, not accuse her of using it to get things out of him.

Trying to make sense of it all, she found herself thinking of the future, of being a mother, of what a life with a child would look like, of what a life with Kylo would look like, but she couldn’t. Her imagination could not conceive of being the mother of the child of the Supreme Leader, maybe even being his consort as one of the nurses had mentioned.

All that Livia knew was that if any of that were to come to pass, things would need to change drastically between now and when the baby arrived, and the change would need to start with her.

~~~~~~

A routine had been established in the quarters of the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Each morning, their breakfast was delivered, and Livia and Kylo sat in silence at the dining table as their food was set in front of each of them, Kylo being served first and him correcting the staff and directing them to serve Livia first. Today he lost his temper.

“Would you please,” he demanded angrily, “the lady is with child and needs her nutrition! Feed her first, _then_ me!”

“I’m sorry, Supreme Leader,” the servant shook as he apologized and rushed to set Livia’s breakfast in front of her.

Livia didn’t want to correct him in front of the staff, so she waited until they were alone.

“Kylo, I appreciate you caring for me, but they’re only trying to do their job. I can wait an extra five seconds for a plate of food I’m not in a hurry to eat anyway,” she smiled at him, her face still tinged green with morning sickness.

“Fine,” he grumbled as he cut into his meal. “How is the baby this morning?”

She rubbed her growing tummy, five months having passed since she’d become pregnant. “He’s well, he’s been fairly quiet so far today.”

“You’re sure he’s alright?” he asked, worried as always.

“Yes, I felt him just now, in fact,” she replied, a tiny flutter passing under her fingers.

Kylo remained silent as he did most days when he was present. He wasn’t gone nearly as much as he used to be and she wasn’t sure if that was a function of his new role, or if he elected to remain nearby to watch over her.

“Kylo, what are your plans for after the baby comes?” she asked tentatively.

He looked up at her as he cut into a rare bantha steak and undercooked eggs, the sight of the bloody meat and oozing yolks turning her stomach. 

“Aren’t you going to eat?” he asked, looking annoyed and changing the subject.

Livia was nauseous again, but she wanted to please Kylo, so she tried picking up a spoonful of porridge with fruit to put it in her mouth, gagging against the illness that was rising in her throat.

“Livia?” he asked, suddenly seeing she was not feeling well.

When she looked up at him to answer, she caught sight of his meat again and lost control of her stomach.

Kylo raced around the table to help her as the morning sickness gripped her again.

“I thought this was supposed to be over by now?” he said as he leaned over her. “I’m calling Lieutenant Zimms,” he said as a servant came to help clean up while Livia returned to the bedchamber to change out of her soiled dressing gown.

The doctor came later to attend Livia and reassured Kylo that all was well.

“Some women experience nausea all nine months, some not at all. It may come and go for her for some time,” she reassured the Supreme Leader before leaving Livia with a small vial of medication to ease her discomfort and an admonition to drink plenty of water.

“I want you to stay in bed today,” Kylo advised her. “I’m leaving and I won’t be back for several days, so I’ll bring the nurses back to tend to you.”

Livia wanted to argue with him, but she bit her tongue as she had for the last few months in an attempt to make peace with him.

“Where are you going today?” she asked.

“I’m flying to Coruscant to meet with the regional governors, there’s been a general strike and I have to bring the labor unrest under control. Why?”

“Would you bring me something?” she asked.

He seemed surprised by her request.

“What is it?”

“Would you bring me those flowers again? The ones you brought me last time with the big purple ribbon? The cherry blossoms? They would look so pretty here,” she asked sweetly.

Her small request caught Kylo off guard, as he hadn’t thought about those flowers for quite some time, such pleasant memories replaced by the near-constant demands on him now that he was responsible to so many people.

“If you like,” he replied and left her to rest, closing the bedchamber door behind him.

The three nurses returned later that day. Parna, Vanya and Lidelle were ecstatic to see Livia still carried the child and that it was growing well within her.

“Oh, Lady Livia!” Lidelle gushed over her as she reached out to pat Livia’s growing belly. Even Livia smiled over the pregnancy for what felt like the first time. “Are you excited?” the young nurse asked.

“I’m getting there,” she said reservedly. “It’s hard when I’m not feeling well, I can’t seem to keep anything down and everything makes me feel sick to my stomach.”

Parna put her arm around Livia’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, Lady Livia, we’ll get you back on your feet. Let me brew you a cup of tea, it will be good for your appetite.”

The nurses settled themselves into the rooms Kylo had assigned to them but they noted with sadness that Livia and Kylo were still not sharing quarters.

Parna once again took the early hours, Lidelle took the late hours, and Vanya took the overnight hours, the three women tending to Livia and keeping watching after her in Kylo’s absence. She was grateful to once again have them for company, which she expressed to them when they were all gathered one evening, Lidelle teaching Livia how to knit, the young mother-to-be making clumsy attempts at a pair of booties.

“Thank you for coming back to be with me,” she said gently to them. “I was not very kind to you all before, but I’m so glad you are here with me now.”

“We understand, Lady Livia,” Lidelle replied. “Your hormones are fluctuating, we know it makes your emotions very scattered. It’s the Supreme Leader you should be worried about.”

“I am, but I think it’s too late” Livia admitted as she set down her needles. “I’ve said too many things that hurt him. I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me.”

“You might be surprised,” Parna chimed in, smiling. “Once you put a man’s child in his arms the first time, he forgets a world of ills.”

Livia hoped and prayed Parna was right, but she didn’t know if she could tolerate for the next four more months the coldness that had risen between her and Kylo as she waited for the arrival of their little boy.

Instead, Livia busied herself with decorating one of the smaller rooms next to the bedchamber as a nursery, exercising as much as possible by taking long, guarded walks along the hallways of the _Supremacy_ with Parna or Lidelle as company, and listening to the nurses advise her on childbirth and caring for the baby once it arrived. There was so much to know, and it was all so frightening. She was terrified she’d never make it through the labor and delivery, never mind the first year of caring for the baby.

“Will you stay with me and help me?” she asked Parna one morning during a particularly vicious round of morning sickness. “While the baby comes? After the baby comes?”

“Of course, Lady Livia,” Parna comforted her as she wiped Livia’s face.

“I’m scared, I don’t think I can’t do it,” Livia admitted out loud for the first time. “I’m terrified it’s going to hurt too much!”

“Yes, you can, women do it all the time, and we have the best healthcare possible. No one will let you suffer,” Parna tried reassuring her. “And then afterwards, you will fall in love with the little one and you’ll forget all about it, and we’ll be there the whole time to help you. Have you thought of a name yet?” the nurse asked her to distract from the discomfort as Livia was put back to bed.

“I should talk to Kylo about it, but it just never seems to be the right time,” Livia said wistfully as she let Parna fuss over her.

“There’s plenty of time, I’m sure you’ll agree on something eventually,” she smiled at Livia. “Get some rest now.”

~~~~~~

When Kylo returned from his trip several days later, he came back to find Livia still in bed, Parna informing him of her bout of sickness that morning, the nurse’s eyes lighting up at the huge bouquet he held in his arms for Livia.

“Can I get a vase for those, Supreme Leader?” she inquired.

“Not just yet, I want to give them to her first,” he said, remembering how foolishly he’d brought them to her the first time, so nervous he’d forgotten he had no vase in which to put them.

Kylo pushed Livia’s door open to find her sitting up in bed reading, and her face broke into a wide smile at his return.

“You’re home!” she gushed, the word sounding awkward in her mouth, but Kylo supposed this was their ‘home’ now and reached the bouquet out to her waiting arms. He was momentarily jealous of the flowers as she embraced them.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, pulling up an armchair to sit by her side.

“I’m okay,” she answered. “The nurses have been so good to me. Thank you for letting them come back.”

Kylo was appeased by her reply, certain she had been ready to rail at him instead for bringing them back to tend to her.

“They said they’d help with the baby, too. Can they stay, please?” she asked. “I’m worried, I need help, and they’ve offered to be with me through the whole thing and to help teach me to care for him.”

“I don’t see why not, of course,” he answered, shocked by her change of heart, though he could sense her apprehensiveness.

“Thank you, and thank you for the flowers,” she said. “I love them as much as the ones you gave me the first time.”

Her words softened Kylo’s attitude toward her, though there was still a dark nagging in the back of his mind that cautioned him not to trust her too far.

“Kylo, we need to talk about something,” she said, still clinging to the blossoms.

 _There it is_ , Kylo thought, _this is where she lets loose something hurtful._

“Not right now,” he said curtly as he rose to leave. “Enjoy your flowers, Livia.”

“Please, Kylo, it’s about the baby,” she said, stopping him in his tracks.

“What is it?” he asked from the doorway.

“Can we talk about a name for him when you have time?”

Her suggestion surprised him.

“Alright,” he said, holding back the sense of relief he felt. “Let me have Parna put the flowers in water for you, and we’ll talk later.”

Livia smiled at him and turned her attention back to the bouquet, reliving the memory of the first time Kylo had made the sweet offering to her, and after settling himself in from his long trip, Kylo himself returned with the vase, helping Livia arrange them and set them on the nightstand before he sat down on the beside to talk to her.

“So, tell me what you want to name the child,” Kylo asked.

“I don’t know,” she said, “I was hoping you would have some ideas. I know so few names from this galaxy. Do you want to name him after a family member?”

Kylo’s face darkened. “No, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he replied, though he considered if she should name him Anakin after his grandfather.

“What about after you?” she offered.

“We could think about that,” he answered. “How were you while I was gone? Parna said you were ill again this morning, I’m worried you’re not getting enough nutrition.”

“Lieutenant Zimms said we’re alright,” she replied, stroking the bump where the baby lay sleeping. “I was mostly fine the last few days, although today was the worst since you left.”

“Maybe I shouldn't have come back,” he said darkly, but Livia reached out for his hand.

“No, I’m glad you’re back, I missed you,” she offered tentatively.

Kylo wanted to believe her words, to trust that she truly meant what she said, and he could feel through the Force that some part of her did. But he also remembered the harsh things she’d had to say to him in the past, and it still hurt as he recalled her labeling him a ‘monster’ and ‘pathetic’, and how she’d threatened to kill the child.

“Did you miss me?” she prompted him, much the way Kylo had asked of her those many months ago, and now it was his turn to say that he’d learned not to think of her, to let her into his heart, but he couldn’t do it.

Livia remembered that moment in the shower as well, and she could tell by the look on his face that what he was remembering were the cruel things she’d said to him.

“I suppose you didn’t,” she said with regret, thinking to herself that it would have been hard for him to miss a woman who insulted him and pushed him away. “Kylo, I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I’ve been scared and angry, and I didn’t know how to deal with how I’ve been feeling. I’ve felt so trapped, I was lashing out and it shouldn’t have been at you.”

“No,” he answered her, looking down to hold her hand in his,“you had every right,” he granted her, Livia’s sincerity towards him opening the door for him to be willing to make peace. “I know what it means to feel trapped, and you had no one but me to take it out upon. I supposed I couldn’t have expected you to react to me any other way. I’m sorry as well.” Kylo surprised even himself when the words came from his mouth.

“Kylo,” Livia whispered, “I have to tell you something, something I should have told you long ago, before all this passed between us.”

He looked into her eyes, eager to know what secret she had been holding from him. He was scared it would be something to ruin all the positive things they’d just shared.

“I love you,” she said breathlessly, her palm turning cold and sweaty as her hand tightened on his.

Kylo sat silently, disbelieving her words until he could form a response. Though he’d sensed her feelings towards him many months ago, he assumed she’d changed her mind completely since then.

“Don’t joke about this Livia, you needn’t lie to me,” he scoffed, trying to pull away as she clung to him. “As my child’s mother, you’ll want for nothing, so you don’t need to play with my feelings this way to get what you want.”

“Kylo, it’s true!” she implored him, trying to convince him she was telling the truth. “I’ve loved you for a long time, but I was always afraid to admit it to you because I didn’t think you loved me!” Livia turned away, ashamed she had opened herself up to him this way. She felt pathetic, as if she’d thrown herself at him, expecting him to accept her confession of love as genuine. Instead, he’d spurned her affections and she was mortally embarrassed. _He must be in love with someone else_ , she thought, _the woman with the books_.

Livia buried her face in her pillow and cried silently, unwilling to let Kylo see her feel defeated, but also angry she let herself lose face in this way. She felt the weight where he’d been sitting on the bed had disappeared and the door whispered closed behind him as he left her alone.

“See to your mistress,” Kylo said to Parna coldly as he left the quarters for his training room, unwilling to let Livia’s words seep into his heart or mind for one more moment.

When Parna entered the bedchamber, Livia was weeping openly, her tears soaking the pillow.

“Lady Livia, what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly.

“He hates me, Parna! I told him I loved him and he called me a liar!” Livia sobbed.

Parna cursed Kylo for a cad, for she knew Livia loved him, any woman could tell. She herself had known Livia had feelings for Kylo from the first day she’d seen them together.

“Now, Lady Livia, he didn’t mean it,” she said, wiping the woman’s tears and putting her arm around her charge’s shoulders. “He’s just proud is all, he’s afraid you don’t mean it and he’s going to make a fool of himself if he accepts your feelings towards him. He just needs time. You keep showing him and telling him, and eventually, he’ll come around.”

“I can’t, Parna! It hurts too much to open my heart to him and have him keep pushing me away!” Livia exclaimed as she broke into a fresh round of tears.

“Hush, now, you’ll upset the baby,” Parna warned her, the stress hormones that were surely flooding the young mother’s system being bad for both of them. “Now, take a deep breath, that’s it.”

Livia tried calming herself as she rubbed her tummy, wanting to reassure her tiny son through the emotional turmoil she was experiencing.

“Why don’t you sleep,” Parna suggested. “You’ve already had a rough day, and when the Supreme Leader returns, you just act like nothing happened and be kind to him, and try again. And you keep trying. His heart is dark, Lady Livia, but if you stay loyal to him, he will let you in eventually.”

Livia snivelled a bit more before cuddling her arm around the baby and falling asleep, mulling over Parna’s advice as the nurse switched shifts with Lidelle.

“Good luck,” she smiled as she advised her colleague after briefing her on Livia. “You’re in for a long night.”


	21. Soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience as we observed the memoriam yesterday of our Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren.
> 
> The Supreme Leader is dead. Long Live the Supreme Leader.  
> Requiescat In Pace  
> 12-18-2019
> 
> Please also continue to stay cognizant of any changing tags. This chapter may contain graphic medical or female issues of a sensitive nature.

As Livia’s baby grew within her and she became more ungainly, her walks became shorter and less frequent, not unlike the time she spent with Kylo. He was gone more and more often and she said not a word to reproach him over it, though as they sat at breakfast one morning with Livia uncomfortably trying to reach for a dish over her very large abdomen, he announced he would be gone for several weeks.

“Several?” she asked in disbelief.

“Yes, why?” he asked, sounding annoyed.

“The baby is due soon,” she replied as if he’d gone mad.

“So? You have the nurses here, they’ll contact me when it’s time, and I’ll come back if necessary,” he replied succinctly. “The galaxy doesn’t stop because you’re pregnant, Livia.”

“Yes, sir,” she replied, chastised. The baby kicked her just then, as if to say, _Don’t let Daddy get away with that!_ , but she stayed quiet and instead rubbed the spot where his little foot was still squirming in her side, grunting in pain.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he chomped down on a thick piece of steak, the sight of it still making her queasy.

“Yes, he’s just - ah! - kicking me hard this morning,” she replied, leaning sideways to try giving him more room but being unsuccessful as there was nowhere in her swollen midsection for the baby to go. She was larger by far than Lieutenant Zimms had expected she’d get, larger than Zimms even felt was healthy.

“I’m worried about the size of the baby,” she replied as she measured Livia’s taut and oversized belly at her checkup later that day, her eyes going wide as she checked the numbers. Livia was already having trouble breathing and walking and sleeping and she still had six weeks to go. Zimms could see the baby was already a couple of pounds over the average birth weight, and would get bigger still in the coming weeks. Zimms could only ascribe the size of the child to his father’s stature because Livia’s and the baby’s health were otherwise perfect as she had done everything Lieutenant Zimms had instructed her.

“What am I going to do?” she asked.

“Well, for now I’m going to keep an eye on you, but if necessary, I’ll deliver you early. If you go too long, there’s no way you’ll give birth to him naturally. In fact, I’m putting you on bed rest from here on out,” she said, her eyebrows knit in concern.

Livia’s face paled at the news. “Oh, please, can I just take one short walk a day?” she gasped, trying to catch her breath. “I promise I’ll do everything you tell me, I just can’t stay cooped up here all day long!”

“Alright, Livia, but your nurse has to go with you and I want you going no further than this hallway,” she indicated behind her, outside the royal apartments, “am I understood? If something goes wrong, I want you to be able to get back in here immediately.”

“Yes, Lieutenant,” Livia conceded.

She shared the news with Kylo that night when he came to her bedchamber, curious to see why she hadn’t been at the dinner table as she sat up in bed, picking at a bowl of fruit since she was unable to eat normal amounts of food at a single sitting anymore.

“Otherwise, he’s fine?” he asked.

“Yes, he’s perfectly healthy,” Livia smiled, hoping the good news would engender some kind of positive attitude towards her from Kylo.

“Very well then, I’ll be departing in the morning,” he turned to leave, but Livia stopped him before he could.

“Kylo, wait!” she called.

“What?” he said, his tone abrupt.

“Would you kiss me goodbye? Please? For luck,” she pleaded, reminding him of the first time he’d kissed her.

Reluctantly, Kylo approached her bedside, resplendent in the new robes he now wore that more accurately reflected his station as Supreme Leader. He leaned down to put a cold, emotionless kiss against her hair, quickly pulling back before she could reach out to touch him.

“What happens after the baby is born?” she asked before he could retreat from her bedchamber, her arms held protectively around the swell of her abdomen, although she was unable to completely reach around herself, so ungainly had she become with their child.

“Let’s worry about that after the time comes,” he said, turning to close the door behind him.

“But what if he comes while you’re gone?” she asked, and Kylo could feel the fear rolling off of her. He wanted to feel sympathy for her, but he couldn’t do that at the same time he tried to hide his heart from her.

Kylo leaned against the door jamb, irritated with her incessant questions.“Your nurses will be here with you and you’ll be in Lieutenant Zimms capable hands,” and Kylo turned his back to her one last time as he left.

Livia broke down in a torrent of tears, feeling lonely and abandoned with a tiny baby to care for, his father leaving them behind to go who-knew-where. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

“My lady?” Vanya came in to check on her patient. “What’s wrong, are you unwell?”

Livia couldn’t answer her, sobbing uncontrollably with her seesawing hormones feeding her anger and sorrow. She reached out and grabbed at Vanya for comfort, burying herself in the nurse’s soft arms.

“There, there, my lady,” she comforted Livia, “let me get you a cup of tea to calm your nerves,” Vanya suggested.

“No!” Livia cried out, “I don’t want any tea! I want Kylo, and I want this baby out of me already!”

Vanya sat on the bed next to Livia and tried offering her a handkerchief.

“He upset you, didn’t he?” she asked Livia softly, but the mother-to-be could only cry harder as Vanya held her hand, unable to make the tears abate.

“He hates me, we’re never going to be a family! Vanya, what am I going to do? ”

“You’ll love this baby and care for it, and you’ll let that be your focus. Everything else is out of your hands,” Vanya told her matter-of-factly. “Don’t worry, my lady, you have everything you could need, and the Supreme Leader won’t let you or the baby want for anything. You’ll always have his protection, and maybe someday you’ll find someone else to share your life with.”

“I can’t,” she sighed, still trying to choke back her weeping. “I want Kylo, I don’t want anyone else!” Livia finally became tired, her wailing softening to ragged whimpers while her face was swollen and torn with grief, and Vanya tucked pillows behind her to help her sleep sitting up now that she was no longer able to lie on her back, her belly so huge she couldn’t breath in that position.

“Go to sleep now, my lady,” Vanya said, turning out the light as Livia’s sobs died away in the dark.

~~~~~~

Some time later, a figure ducked into an alcove deep in the bowels of the Supremacy where a man lay in wait.

“Well?” he asked, his impatience betraying his schooled Imperial accent.

“He’s leaving in the morning and he’ll be gone for several weeks, so you’ll have a head start,” she reassured him.

“Good, see to it that she’s kept quiet, I don’t want any interference.”

“You have my word,” she replied before she slipped away.

~~~~~~

“Are you ready for your walk, Lady Livia?” Vanya asked the next evening.

“I don’t think so,” Livia said, trying to get comfortable, her feet uncomfortably swollen. “I can barely get out of this stupid bed anymore, and this baby is taking up everything I have!” She was frustrated her body was no longer her own and she felt like she was going to burst. “Vanya, this baby can’t get any bigger. He has to stop growing!” she complained.

“Why don’t you come take a walk,” she encouraged Livia, “he’ll move around a bit, maybe give you a bit of relief.”

Livia was desperate to feel different, if not better, so she took the nurse’s advice as both Vanya and Lidelle helped her down from the bed. She had to reach underneath to help hold her belly up now as the weight of the baby pulled relentlessly on her back.

“Oh, no,” Livia complained, “maybe not, I don’t think I can,” she said as she felt a painful compression deep within her pelvis.

“Yes, you can,” Vanya persuaded her, “just a little, the baby needs the circulation, both of you do.”

“Fine,” Livia breathed out, leaning heavily on Vanya’s arm as they departed the suite, passing Vicrul and an elite guard Livia didn’t recognize who stood with Vicrul instead of Kuruk or Trudgen or one of the others. They ambled slowly down the hallway, Livia experiencing immense pressure in her insides, and she almost wept in discomfort, but she knew it was only going to get worse, much worse, and she’d begun to have nightmares about the birth, it frightened her so.

“Vanya,” she whispered, having hardly enough breath to walk and talk at the same time. “I’m terrified of having this baby, can’t they take it surgically? What if I die trying to have him?” she asked.

“You’re not going to die, Lady Livia,” Vanya patted her hand.

“Not today, at least,” a masculine voice said from behind her before a piece of fabric was wrapped around her face from behind, her muffled cries dying in the cloth keeping her from screaming.

“I thought you’d never get here! I couldn’t take one more moment of her incessant prattling,” Vanya said, sneering at Livia who was foolishly grabbing at the nurse for help before her arms were yanked brutally behind her. “She’s all yours, I’m heading back to quarters to report she ‘slipped my supervision.' You take her to the shuttle, they’re waiting for you.”

“Got it,” the gruff voice responded, dragging Livia ruthlessly into a small doorway that led to a service elevator. The man shoved her up against the wall, her belly crushed against the hard surface and sending shockwaves of pain through her midsection as she screamed.

“Quiet, you,” he cuffed her on the back of her head, but she was too preoccupied with the wetness forming between her legs to respond, and she tried pleading with the man.

“I said, quiet! You want another?”

Livia fell silent, hoping wherever she was going next, she could tell someone she thought her water had broken.

~~~~~~

“We were supposed to have more time, you brutish oaf!” Hux admonished Vicrul as Livia was dragged away by a pair of troopers, the moans she was voicing now coming with greater regularity as the hours passed during their flight from the _Supremacy_.

“She wouldn’t comply, and I’m not a fucking nursemaid. Anyway, she’s your problem now,” Vicrul responded, mounting his vibro-scythe in its sheath on his back before he turned away from the general and headed up the ramp of the _Night Buzzard_. He departed the docking bay in a roar of engines while Hux looked on with irritation, the appearance of a laboring Livia throwing his plans into disarray.

Livia was walked roughly down hallway after hallway in the company of General Hux and two troopers, the path seeming like an inexorably long maze as she felt her labor pains coming more consistently and closer together. She wasn’t ready, and she was so scared, she began to shut down mentally as she tried to focus only on her breathing, which was incredibly difficult with the gag in her mouth.

However, she wasn’t at all surprised to find Vicrul and Hux involved in her kidnapping. She only wondered if Kylo was involved as well, or if he had no idea.

“Please, General,” she tried pleading as he removed the gag before one of the troopers threw her roughly onto a simple cot in a very small cell, the men retreating to leave her alone as the door shut behind them while another contraction gripped Livia. She tried breathing through it as she sat uncomfortably on the edge of the hard cot, trying to figure out what was happening and what she was going to do.

The pains came and went, lasting longer and getting more intense as she laid on her side, trying to figure out if she could find a way to escape, but she realized she was trapped and she only prayed they sent someone to help her soon, because she didn’t think she was going to last much longer and the pain was becoming unbearable as she moaned over and over. She had given up trying to focus on the breathing exercises the nurses had taught her, and there was no room in the cramped cell to walk it off, but now that her water had broken, she was afraid to try anyway, the loss of fluid creating an incredibly painful situation of a dry labor.

Did Kylo know where she was? Had he gotten Hux to kidnap her? Or was Hux doing this against Kylo? She just wanted to get through this, just wanted the pains to stop, for the baby to come already. She was scared, and thirsty, and she couldn’t stop the shivering and sweating that had taken her over as waves of nausea plagued her, worse than she’d ever experienced as morning sickness.

“Oh, god!” she moaned, crying out for someone, anyone, as the hours crawled by. “Mama! Mama!” she pleaded as the pains became worse and worse, burning like a knife in her back taking her further within herself as she sought a release that wouldn’t come.

~~~~~~

Unknown to Livia, Hux was just outside the door speaking over a communicator to his accomplice.

“No, she’s having it now!” he whispered angrily.

“Then you’d best make sure the child survives,” the disembodied voice came back over, “because we need a negotiating tool one way or another!”

“Fine, but you’re going to handle this from here on out!” Hux threatened as he closed down the communication.

~~~~~~

Livia felt another pain rip through her and another ear-splitting scream escaped her as she held her contracting belly. Livia could only wail and babble incoherently as her body worked to expel the baby inside of her, and her eyes glazed over in pain as the contraction subsided, leaving her limp and exhausted. “Please,” she begged the emptiness around her, “make it stop.”

She began to hallucinate in her misery and exhaustion, and she thought she could hear Kylo’s voice as she thought about the Force. He could feel her feelings when he was near, maybe he could feel her feelings from far away? Could she send her feelings to him? As the next contraction broke through her, she tried to call out to him in her mind, terrified she was dying, hoping against hope he would hear her as hot knives tore through her once more for what seemed like forever.

Hours more passed this way, with Livia’s consciousness slipping further and further into the recesses of her mind as everything seemed to dissolve except her belly and her pain as the baby’s head tried to descend into the birth canal. Her voice was hoarse now, she was parched and so thirsty she’d have crawled a mile for a glass of water, and she was drenched in sweat.

She was going to die, she knew it. She wondered what they would do with the baby, if he even made it. She couldn’t feel him through the contractions and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt him move as the thought crossed her mind that maybe he was already dead, that the way Vicrul had pushed her in the elevator had killed the baby right then and there. The thought of giving birth to a dead baby sent a fresh wave of terror through her delirious mind as the next contraction clawed up her spine, rending her sanity with its intensity.

“NO!!!” she cried out, praying for death as the pain took her over again, and she noticed her contractions were almost non-stop now, one beginning as soon as another ended, and as she cried out in agony, she thought she saw her long-dead mother at her side.

“Mama, take the baby! Please help me!” she mumbled. Instead of helping Livia, she just sat there, smiling at Livia, doing nothing, just out of Livia’s reach as her hand desperately flailed out for her mother’s comforting arms…

As the contractions turned into one long aching torment, a new pain began building deep inside Livia, a searing pierce of anguish that was building up inside her, hard and insistent, the pressure building against the tide of contractions until she lost consciousness…

Someone was pulling her insides out of her with a fiery fist, and she screamed once more, but nothing was coming out of her throat anymore, her vocal cords having finally given out, and Livia realized through the haze of the torture that her body was putting her through that the baby was coming.

When she reached down between her legs, Livia felt a bulge against her vulva, and the size convinced her it was going to be stuck there and never, ever come out. She would die with the baby in her birth canal, the two of them having been tortured to death, but then a wave of pressure built within her, and the instinct to push overcame the pain momentarily.

But as Livia pushed, pain pushed back, and the scorching misery of her entrance being stretched made her stop, creating a sadistic tug of war between her womb and her birth canal - one part was trying to force the baby out and the other part was doing to do everything it could to stop that from happening, and in between were Livia and the baby, victims of this horrible process.

As she pushed again, the same thing happened, and the pain took her out of consciousness again…

“LIVIA, WAKE UP!”

“Help…” she tried whispering as nothing came out of her throat and fingers pushed her eyes open.

“Livia, push!” Kylo’s voice commanded her. Was he a hallucination, too?

She attempted to shake her head no, knowing she had nothing left and Kylo was too late to help her as her womb clamped down again, again...

Kylo laid his hands on her swollen abdomen in which his child was dying and reached into her body with the Force, trying to sense how his son was positioned so he could use his powers to ease the child’s body from Livia’s before they both perished.

“Help me, Livia, push, just a little!” he implored her as he looked down to see his son’s head creeping slowly from his mother, so slowly it looked as if no progress was being made. Unable to watch her suffer any longer, Kylo took over, his Force-sense helping him guide the baby’s tiny body through Livia’s pelvis. A raspy wail escaping her as the head pressed against her tight entrance, the skin tearing as it was unable to withstand being stretched any wider.

Livia grabbed weakly at Kylo as he joined his psyche with hers, the sudden shock of her pain being transferred to him almost severing his mediation in the Force, but he held on for her, taking her pain into himself and relieving her of the excruciating ordeal as he tried to help her birth the baby. She gasped as the pain lifted suddenly, and Kylo whispered to her, “Push, Livia, just a little more.”

Livia took a deep breath and reached deep inside of her to draw what little strength she had left and bore down, willing her son to live as she gave one last final effort to bring him into the world, and his body finally slipped through hers as she gave out entirely, having nothing left to give...


	22. Touch and Go

“Breathe,” Kylo pleaded with his son, the baby’s body lying limply in his hands as he blew on the newborn’s face and rubbed his damp chest, desperate to ensure he lived. After what seemed like an eternity, his son’s face finally screwed up in a grimace before he drew in a long breath and let out a wail of protest, the sweetest sound Kylo had ever heard.

“Cardo, where is that medical team?!” Kylo demanded, and the fear in his voice was something his comrade had never heard from him before.

“They’re just here, Kylo,” and Cardo stepped aside to reveal a horde of medical personnel.

“Take the baby,” he commanded Cardo as he passed his son into his comrade’s hands while a team of medics swarmed into the filthy cell to attend Livia. Kylo took in his surroundings, realizing she’d lost copious amounts of blood and fluid, and it looked like a murder scene. In fact, when he’d first broken into the room where she’d been held since her capture, he would have thought she was already dead had he not heard her pitiful moans and seen her struggling to bring their son into the world.

He stepped back to allow the medics to tend to Livia’s pale form while others had already rushed the newborn down the hallway toward the landing bay for transport back to the _Supremacy_ , which was speeding to meet them on Bracca, the scrapyard planet the First Order used to decommission enemy ships, where Hux had stowed Livia in an abandoned post. Now, though, Ren was torn between going with his tiny, helpless son who was separated from his parents among strangers, or staying with Livia, who was clearly dying. Who needed him more? Who was in more danger? Which one of them could he help the most?

He decided to remain with Livia, powerless to help as the medical staff tried in vain to treat Livia’s hemorrhaging. Ren turned away from the horrific activity, unable to watch as her life drained away. When the reality of what had transpired for Livia and the baby reached his senses, he was in fear for both their lives, but after what seemed an interminable amount of time, the team was able to stabilize Livia, and Kylo stepped back to watch uselessly as she was whisked away to another transport.

“I’m going to strip his skin from him one piece at a time, one hour at a time,” Kylo threatened, knowing Hux was behind it. “Have they found him yet?” he asked Cardo.

“Yes, they caught him trying to commandeer a shuttle from the depot,” he replied. “The coward tried to off himself before we could capture him, but Ap’lek disarmed him. He must have known what you’d do to him and he’d rather die at his own hand.”

“He won’t be so fortunate,” Kylo said darkly as the two men followed after the doctor and the medical team, departing in their own shuttle to rendezvous at the _Supremacy_. When they arrived at the medbay, the team had already rushed Livia into a surgical suite while nurses surrounded his son, the baby howling indignantly as they poked and prodded him, his father standing by nervously.

“He sounds healthy, Kylo, listen to those lungs! Congratulations!” Cardo tried reassuring him, clasping his comrade on the shoulder as he forgot momentarily the new father was now Supreme Leader.

“Thank you,” Kylo whispered as he watched across the room where the baby was being tended. One of the nurses approached with a smile on her face, giving Kylo hope his son was going to be okay.

“He’s almost done, they just want to make sure everything is in order. In the meantime, if you want to hold him, we should get you cleaned up,” and she showed him into a side room where clean surgical gowns were hanging on hooks next to a sink, closing the door to give him some privacy. Kylo looked into the hologlass in front of him to find his face, hands and clothes were smeared with blood. He looked like he’d come from a battlefield, and he felt like it, too, as he broke down in tears, the tension of the last few months coming to a head as it all came rushing back at him in one horrible tidal wave of fear and anxiety.

Ren had been on Riosa where he’d been overseeing the establishment of new manufacturing facilities for the expansion of his empire when he’d felt the vague nagging in the back of his mind. At first, he’d tried to ignore it, thinking it a mere quaver in the Force, for anyone who could command the Force would simply appear to him, instead. His mother, perhaps, could come to him in a vision or a voice, but this person was only calling, needing him to come, and it was desperate and clawing. This was someone appealing to him, calling out for him, but he didn’t know anyone who would need him who would reach out for him this way. And that was when the signal had come through from Trudgen informing him that Livia was gone, and he knew without a doubt - she hadn’t run away, she had been stolen away, and she needed him to rescue her.

Finding her was easier than he’d hoped as meditation had allowed him to feel around her presence revealing where she’d been smuggled to Bracca. Ren’s shuttle departed the moment they’d been able to determine her current whereabouts and had commanded every nearby ship in the fleet to meet them there. Kylo was livid, and he would spare no resource to effect the rescue of his baby and its mother.

Ren was shocked at the brazenness of the kidnapping, for it required the participation of a handful of people close to him and a level of coordination he was furious with himself he hadn’t noticed. Had Livia not reached out to him, he was certain he’d never have seen her or his son again, and he was grateful Cardo and Ap’lek had been with him at Riosa so that they were able to accompany him in the rescue. He was mostly thankful he’d found Livia at all, but he only hoped it was in time as he waited for word from the medical staff.

His son was finally here, and he was alive, but what would happen to the baby without its mother? Kylo knew nothing about children whatsoever, never having been exposed to them his entire life. How would Kylo care for his son alone? Who would nurse his child, give him the life sustaining food he’d need to survive and grow? As he scrubbed himself as best he could, he began to deeply regret the things he’d said and done to Livia, hoping he’d have a chance to make it up to her though he expected she wouldn’t survive, no matter what Lieutenant Zimms did to help her.

When he rejoined Cardo, the nurse was now swaddling his son and she looked over to beckon Kylo closer.

“Here you go, my lord,” she said, lifting the bundle in the blue blanket into his waiting arms. “Your son is a few weeks early, but he’s still strong and healthy and he’s going to be just fine, just be sure to hold his head very securely,” she smiled. “We’ll keep an eye on him for the next few days just to make sure.”

Kylo looked down into the face of his child, surrounded by silky and copious amounts of rich, dark hair just like his own, and a strong and insistent thought stabbed at him - is this how Han felt the moment his father had held _him_ for the first time? The incredible sense of wonder and responsibility was almost too much, and a tear escaped unbidden from Kylo’s eye. He wanted to wipe it away before anyone saw the great and powerful Supreme Leader weep over a tiny baby, but instead, he turned away where only Cardo could see him, knowing his guard wouldn’t view him as weak.

“Vicrul,” Kylo inhaled sharply, remembering his Captain of the Guard has been involved in the kidnapping as well. “Where is he?”

“We don’t know yet, we think he escaped, Supreme Leader. I’m sorry,” Cardo answered.

“I want him found, but I want him alive. I’m going to…” Kylo’s voice died out as he stopped himself from uttering the words of anger and revenge that were boiling up inside as he looked down at his baby son cooing softly in his arms. He couldn’t think about that now, he had higher priorities.

 _The baby will need to eat_ , he thought to himself as he watched his son begin to fuss, _but if Livia dies, what will I do?_

He approached the nurse who’d handed him the baby.

“How will I feed him? He needs his mother!” he pleaded. The nurse’s face fell in sympathy as she watched the Supreme Leader fear for his child.

“Not to worry,” she replied, trying to give him hope. “He won’t be hungry for a bit, let’s wait and see what Lieutenant Zimms has to say, shall we?”

Kylo carried the baby with him over to where a few of the medical team were assembled outside the surgical suite.

“What of Livia?” he asked, his face anxious.

They looked grim as one of them turned to consult a screen. “Lieutenant Zimms is still working on her, but we’ll do all we can for her, Supreme Leader.”

“Would you like to sit? We have a private room you can use,” asked another, showing him into a small waiting room with a soft sofa and low lighting, and he sat holding his son, rocking the tiny creature in his arms as he awaited word on the child’s mother.

“I should have told her,” Kylo admitted sadly to his son. “I’m sorry, I should have told your mommy I loved her,” he said before breaking down and crying into his son’s swaddled blanket, the baby’s tiny fingers feeling like warm feathers across his face.

Kylo wanted to die, but now he had to live for his baby, his heir.

The child needed a name, and he regretted now that he hadn’t overcome his pride to sit with Livia and decide upon one when she’d asked so sweetly all those months ago. He knew she’d tried hard to get through to him, had accepted all the abuse he’d dished out to her as she’d hoped he’d let her in just a little bit. But he’d been stubborn and resentful, trying to hurt her back the way Livia had hurt him, only he didn’t stop after he’d started, didn’t seem to realize it was bringing more harm to her than satisfaction to him. Maybe if he’d relented, if he’d spent more time with her, if he’d been there with her that night, had stayed behind when she’d voiced her oh-so-fateful fears to him about the baby’s birth, she’d be holding her son now and not dying in the next room.

Kylo looked down to see his infant son sleeping in his arms, the tiny creature’s soft little breaths like whispers, and the Supreme Leader fell in love with the baby he’d tried so hard not to think about until he was in danger of losing him altogether.

“I’ll get your mommy back, son,” he whispered to the sleeping newborn. “I promise. If she lives, we’re going to be a family, and I’m going to win her back.”

~~~~~~

Livia woke in a groggy, painful haze, unsure of her surroundings and hurting everywhere. It felt like every muscle, every organ, every joint had been torn from her, mangled, and then put back inside of her.

Inside of her! The baby! She remembered the awful hours that crawled by and felt like days where her body had tried to bear him, and she looked down through bloodshot eyes to see her belly was a fraction of the size it had been before. Her baby was gone, and the terror of suddenly being separated from him, of not knowing where he was, if he was alive, sent her into a panic.

She tried calling out, but nothing would come from her throat - she had screamed herself hoarse during her long, arduous labor, leaving her voice paralyzed.

A nurse she didn’t recognize came to her side. “Lady Livia?” she asked, "are you alright?”

She tried to raise her head to speak, but she had no strength, and nothing but a raspy whisper issued from her lips. “Where is the baby?!” she pleaded.

“Let me get you some water,” the nurse offered, and as Livia watched her walk away, she noticed there were damp spots over her breasts where her milk had begun to come in.

When the nurse returned, Livia tried miming rocking a baby, a look of desperation on her face.

“Yes, he’s fine, they’re bringing him to you,” she offered, smiling as she helped Livia drink deeply of the water she’d been without for far too long, another nurse soon pulling a repulsorlift bassinet to Livia’s bedside where the biggest newborn she’d ever seen was lying within, a shock of raven black hair like a crown on his head.

She broke into a smile as she took in the sight of her baby that did indeed, as her nurses had predicted, wipe the memory of all her pain from her heart. Livia was desperate to hold him in her arms, but she knew if she tried, she would drop him, so little energy did she possess to support her limbs despite sleeping for many hours since the surgery.

Instead, the nurse kindly arranged pillows around Livia so that the baby could lie supported in the crook of her arm as she intently watched his sleeping form, taking in the infant’s beautiful face.

“The doctor will be in to talk to you, but watch your belly, there are sutures so try not to move around too much,” she advised.

Livia hardly heard the nurse as she beheld her tiny little son for the first time, the sensation of lying next to her child instead of him lying within her a foreign experience after the many months they had been so closely connected.

While he was large for a newborn, he was still a small infant, and she was so scared she would hurt him, he seemed so fragile. He was robust, though, his strength belying his tiny size as he smelled her milk and began rooting his face towards Livia looking for his first meal.

“You’re hungry already!” she whispered to him in wonder, “Just like your daddy!” Livia breathed as she thought of Kylo’s ravenous appetite.

As Livia bared her nipple for her son, he latched on hungrily, the milk letting down immediately. Her body knew what her child needed and it answered the call without reservation. The warm rush in her chest was like liquid happiness, and Livia smiled when she felt the calming effects of lactation as she fed her baby with her body for the first time, satisfied she and her son had both taken to it so easily.

“You look beautiful,” Kylo observed as he crept up to her bedside where Livia’s beautiful long hair was draped across her face as she leaned over watching the baby nurse. She was so relaxed, she didn’t even startle, she merely turned to smile at him.

“Oh, gods, Livia, your eyes,” he said as he looked at her for the first time since they’d brought her back from surgery, cupping her face in his hands. Her eyes were bloodshot on the inside and black and blue on the outside, the pressure of pushing through the long, hard labor having taken a toll on her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice raspy. “They’re sore, I haven’t seen myself.”

“They’re a little dark is all,” he obfuscated. She had plenty of time for that later. “You’re still beautiful.”

She smiled at him, knowing Parna had been right when she said a man given his child would overlook a world of ills. Livia had so many thoughts and so many questions, but for the time being the only thing she wanted to focus on was her son.

“He needs a name,” she prompted him, “had you thought of anything?”

“How about Anakin?” he asked.

“Anakin…” she said, trying it on. “What is Anakin?” she asked.

“It was my grandfather’s name,” he replied proudly.

“Lord Vader?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“What about Kylin?” she whispered. “His hair is so dark. Kylin means dark in the old languages, Parna said.”

“Oh, she did, huh?” Kylo asked. “I like it; Kylin.”

“Kylin Anakin Ren,” she tried.

“Well, Ren is my title, not my surname, but I like Kylin Anakin, yes,” he smiled down at her. 

“That reminds me,” she said, “where is Vanya?” she asked, fear crossing her visage.

“We’ve caught her,” Kylo lied, knowing she’d escaped with Vicrul but not wanting Livia to worry about that now. “You’re safe, the baby’s safe, it’s all over. I’m just sorry I wasn’t here to protect you,” he said with regret.

The baby distracted them both as he squirmed and hiccuped, having emptied her breast and still hungry for more as his mouth rooted around her for more milk. Livia had Kylo help her reposition the baby as she lifted her other breast out of her gown, Kylo watching in wonder as his son sought out his nourishment from his mother.

“I can't get over watching him do that,” he said softly.

Livia looked up at him with pride and gratitude, glad he was so taken with his son and focused on the two of them. It was the way she’d wanted to be with him for months, and she glowed as she had her son in her arms and his father by her side.

A knock sounded at the doorway before Lieutenant Zimms came into the room to join them, finding the family happily enjoying each other’s company, a miracle she never thought she’d see.

“Lady Livia, I don’t know how you and the baby are here now, but thank the Force,” she said in awe as she watched the mother and child bonding. “You both should have died. I can’t be any more succinct than that, but I’m grateful for whatever supernatural intervention stepped in to prevent it.”

Livia smiled at her as Kylo smiled to himself, thankful for his newfound Force skills that had been the supernatural intervention Zimms spoke of. “Thank you,” she mouthed to the doctor, “thank you for everything.”

“Save your voice. You should be fine in a couple days, but just rest it for now. I want you to rest for the next several weeks, anyway,” the doctor recommended, “and I have mixed news to give you.”

She pulled up Livia’s chart from her datapad and consulted the file.

“So you probably noticed you have sutures in your abdomen,” she said as Livia nodded. “We stopped the bleeding, but to do that we had to treat the rupture in your womb. Livia, I’m afraid we couldn’t save it; it had to be removed, I’m sorry.”

Livia’s face fell. “No more children?” she asked.

“No,” Lieutenant Zimms replied, “I’m afraid not.”

“Livia, it’s alright,” Kylo reassured her. “He’s beautiful. He’s our one and only miracle baby and he’s all we need. Besides, I couldn’t bear to watch you go through that again.”

She smiled at his protectiveness and Kylin distracted her as her nipple slipped out of his mouth with a slight ‘pop’ as he fell asleep and Kylo helped Livia lift him up to her shoulder to burp him, her hand gently rubbing Kylin’s back in circles as she smelled his milky breath near her face. She realized how lucky she was to have him and Kylo both, the loss of her childbearing ability quickly melting into the back of her mind.

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone,” Lieutenant Zimms said as she watched the two parents closing in together around their newborn son. “Don’t lift him too much, you’re still very weak,” she advised Livia. “I’ll be back to check on you regularly until you’re discharged, but if you need anything, night or day, have them page me. I mean it.”

“Thank you,” Kylo called after the physician as he leaned over and nuzzled Livia under his chin, kissing the top of her head as a small bubble of air escaped Kylin in his sleep, making Kylo smile.

Livia lay back, her strength having been sapped by the short activity, and she handed her son to his father. “I need to sleep now,” she announced, her eyes shutting as she settled back and exhaustion overtook her.

Kylo laid his precious son in the bassinet next to Livia and left him tucked under the blanket while mother and child slept soundly, and Kylo silently vowed he was going to see to it they did so every night for the rest of their lives, if he had to tear apart half the First Order to hunt down and destroy every person involved in the heinous attempt to hurt his family.

~~~~~~

“You’ll never break me, you filthy son of a whore!” the naked general screamed at the Supreme Leader from the confines of the torture table, Ren circling Hux as he considered the myriad ways he was going to exact his revenge on the slimy traitor.

“Is that so? You see, Hux, I know you’ve built up some defenses to certain Force powers I may use against you, but you have no defense against this,” Ren drawled through his vocoder as he ignited his lightsaber and let it hang loosely from his grip, the blade spitting plasma static and the tip trailing molten designs in the floor as he wandered slowly around Hux, letting the tension instill fear in his victim.

“You made the mother of my child suffer, and she nearly died. My child nearly died,” he accused Hux as he brought the tip of the lightsaber up to gouge a shallow hole in Hux’s chest, the ginger-haired general screaming in pain and protest.

“Do it again, Ren, I dare you!” Hux taunted his adversary, and the Supreme Leader obliged him, singeing another hole on the other side of his chest, eliciting further cries against the torment.

“Who helped you?” Ren asked.

“Your traitorous guard!” Hux provided.

“And who else?” Ren asked further, boring into Hux’s skin and muscle again.

“AGH! Your bitch’s pathetic nurse!” Hux answered.

“Tsk, tsk, Hux,” Ren warned him. “That is the mother of my child you’re talking about. Who else?” he asked, the lightsaber’s tip once again wounding Hux as Kylo sought answers, for he knew there was someone else more powerful than Hux, Vicrul and Vanya involved.

“GRRR! SHIT! There was no one else!” Hux screamed.

“Who else,” Ren asked, patiently scorching Hux yet again.

“DAMMIT, REN, STOP!” Hux tried bossing Ren, in denial that he had lost his power against the person who used to be only his colleague.

“Who else,” Ren persisted, continuing to force the tip of his lightsaber into Hux’s body, spacing the injuries far enough apart to inflict the maximum amount of pain as he traced a line of pockmarks heading toward Hux’s genitals. “Make me ask much longer, and you’ll be a eunuch, Hux. Who else?”

“GAH!!!” Hux cried out as Ren cauterized another spot, this time into Armitage’s groin.

“Who else?”

“PRYDE!” Hux screamed.

“Ryelle Pryde?” Ren asked.

“No, not that stupid cunt you stuck your dick in, you fool!” Hux spat, “Her father, Enric!”

“Why?” Ren asked, wondering if Hux was finally going to cooperate, but his victim fell silent again.

“Why?” he asked once more, the lightsaber leaving a line of scorched flesh trailing down Hux’s midsection this time as wails of anger and anguish escaped Hux’s throat.

“Because he wanted that barbarian out of the way so he could marry his slut daughter to you!” Hux revealed as he realized the next point of injury was about to land in his privates.

Hux’s body was beginning to look like the surface of an asteroid, pocked with holes, and Ren slid the tip of his saber directly into Hux’s testicles and stood waiting impassively for Hux’s wailing to taper off so he could be heard when he asked Hux his next question. He was shocked to discover it could have been his Allegiant General, or that arranging a union between himself and Ryelle could have been Enric’s motivation.

“Where is Pryde now?” Ren asked.

Hux’s whimpering continued and Ren asked again.

“Where… is Pryde… now?”

“He’s on Susevfi! Now get me down from here, you son of a—”

Hux didn’t get a chance to finish his threat as Kylo choked him from across the room.

“Much as I’ve enjoyed our little meeting, Hux, I’m going to leave you in the capable hands of my comrade, Cardo, who will be responsible for continuing your torture to the point of death,” Kylo said to him as he paced closer to Hux’s face. “And when he’s done, you will be begging me to end you, and I will refuse, because you need to be put through the same vicious torment you put my son’s mother through, and it will be long and slow and painful, and there will be no end for you until I am damned good and ready.”

~~~~~~

Livia was grateful to be lying in clean, comfortable surroundings in the _Supremacy’s_ medbay as she recovered and nurtured Kylin; she would wake to feed the baby as Kylo visited the two of them, and sleep restored her the rest of the day. The ordeal had taken so much from her, and she was kept under observation until she was well enough to return to their quarters.

Livia was not at all surprised to find when they returned to the royal apartments that there was now a completely new security detail, but their arrival was marked by a hearty welcome from Parna and Lidelle while a new nurse joined them, Irini, and the three women fussed over Livia and the little one as much as the new mother expected they would.

While the nurses had no idea that Vanya was involved with the kidnapping scheme until after Livia had been taken, they apologized profusely nonetheless.

“Ladies, it’s over now, I don’t want to think about it, anymore,” she said as she sat up in bed, changing Kylin’s diaper. “I want to put it behind me and only think of Kylin.”

“Just him, huh?” Kylo smiled from the doorway as he came in to check on his family. The nurses smiled at each other and scuttled out of the room to give them some privacy.

Livia looked over at him and smiled in return, unsure of where she stood with Kylo now. Clearly, he had nothing to do with the kidnapping, it was only her overwrought state that even made her consider he would do something so dastardly.

“I don’t know what you want me to think of you anymore, Kylo,” she said softly, her voice still not fully returned. She cradled Kylin in her arms as he yawned and curled up warmly in his swaddling.

“I want you to think about me a lot,” he said as he came to sit on the bed next to her where he’d begun sleeping since their return to their quarters. “I want you to think of me as someone very important in your life.”

“You _are_ very important to me, you’re Kylin’s father,” she replied, tiredly handing the baby over to allow Kylo to hold him.

“Is that the only reason?” he inquired.

“What are you asking me Kylo?” she said as she lay back, rubbing the spot on her belly where the sutures had begun healing.

“Do you still love me, Livia?” he asked, the answer seeming very important to him.

“Why would it matter? We love Kylin,” she said, unwilling to open her heart to him again, afraid he would reject her.

“It matters very much to me,” Kylo said softly as he rose to put Kylin in the bassinet at the end of the bed before he came to stand next to her, glad to see that her eyes had almost returned to normal and her color had improved as the blood transfusions she’d received had perked up her system. 

Kylo leaned down to kiss her so very gently, afraid that she had been through so much that he would hurt her if he made a wrong move, before he said, “ _You_ matter very much to me.”

~~~~~~

Over the next couple of days, Kylo tried to stay close by as he managed the hunt for Vicrul and Pryde, but he took some time to attend to a matter he could no longer delay.

“Livia, I need you to stay in here for a little bit,” Kylo announced one morning after breakfast as Livia lay Kylin down for his nap. “I have a meeting I’m taking in my office and I can’t be disturbed.”

Livia wondered why it would matter to him that she stayed in the bedchamber when his office was all the way across the great room and down the hall in their expansively large suite, but she nodded nonetheless.

“Alright,” she replied, tucking Kylin into the bassinet. “I need a nap anyway.”

As Kylo ducked out, he made sure to close the door tightly before allowing his visitor entry, the tall, gaunt man entering their quarters with a large case in hand and the two men retired to Kylo’s office to conduct business as Livia slept.

“Did you bring everything?” Kylo inquired as he showed the guild member to a chair in front of his desk.

“As you asked, Supreme Leader,” the man said pleasantly as Ren closed the door behind them.


	23. Little Black Egg

As the days progressed, Livia busily tended to the baby, so consumed she was in her love for him, and he nursed almost around the clock as he grew like a weed.

“Kylo, he’ll be almost as big as you in a year!” she joked one night while the baby lay on the bed in front her as she changed his diaper and admired his growth.

“That’s a stretch, but I see what you mean,” Kylo said, lifting the freshly swaddled infant into his arms. “You’re daddy’s big boy, aren’t you!” and Kylin gurgled at his father, Kylo smiling back at him.

“When are you leaving next?” she asked with trepidation as Kylo handed the baby to her to nurse. He was home almost every day now, the longest length of time Livia had ever seen him remain on board a vessel, and she thought it would only be a matter of time before he would be gone on another mission.

“I don’t know,” Kylo said distractedly as he sat in the nearby armchair, looking over some correspondence on his datapad. “I don’t have anything planned currently. Why,” he asked suspiciously, “do you want me to go?”

“No!” she protested almost a little too loudly, then said, “I’m just surprised you’ve been here so much. It’s been nice having you around.”

“I have a good reason to stay around now,” he said somberly, not meeting her eyes as he continued reading the lines of text in front of him.

 _Does he mean me_ and _the baby, or just the baby?_ she wondered.

“We’re glad you’re here,” she replied, “both of us.”

Kylo looked over at her and smiled before they were interrupted by the entrance of the guards into the outer chamber.

“I’ll be back in a bit,” Kylo replied, shutting the bedchamber doors behind him, not wanting to have Livia overhear any news of the hunt for Vicrul and Pryde.

Cardo and Ap’lek had arrived disheveled and tired.

“Vicrul’s dead, Kylo,” Cardo announced solemnly.

“Where is the body? I want to see for myself,” Ren demanded.

“On the _Night Buzzard_ , come look,” Cardo invited him.

“Just a moment,” he said, turning to find Livia’s night nurse, Irini, and giving her instructions to watch over Livia before donning his helmet and striding intently toward the Knights’ ship, followed by a small cohort of elite guards, as always. Kylo took no chances anymore with either his or Livia’s safety, and especially Kylin’s.

There, in the hold of the _Night Buzzard_ , lay the decapitated body of Ren’s formerly most-trusted comrade, along with Vanya, whose head was obliterated by a blaster shot that had been sent through her brain just moments before Cardo had cut Vicrul down. While the sight of the man’s corpse brought a certain amount of relief to Ren, he was also saddened to have lost someone so influential in his life because of what Kylo was convinced had become a matter of sheer jealousy and insecurity. He couldn’t let this happen again, he decided.

“Supreme Leader,” Cardo addressed him, “I know you wanted to handle Vicrul yourself, but I had no choice. I would never have gotten him back here alive.”

“We tried to bring him in, we really did,” Ap’lek chimed in, “but he was holding Vanya hostage and he wasn’t coming. It was us or him.”

“I understand, I’m just grateful you found him at all. Still, I want him given a proper burial,” Ren announced. “Take him quietly to where we first met on Elphrona and bury him outside the old Jedi temple. It’s where everything started; it’s where everything can end.”

“But Ren,” Ap’lek objected, stopping when the Supreme Leader held up a hand.

“I know he betrayed me, but he was important to me as well, and I’m learning to balance my feelings against my actions. I will not destroy what’s left of this man merely to satisfy my baser desires,” he replied as he turned to face his comrade. “He can no longer hurt anyone, and it does no harm to show him a certain level of respect for the good things he did for me during his lifetime. Agreed?”

Cardo nodded, seeing a great change in Ren that made him think Kylo was growing into a wise and powerful leader.

“Agreed,” Cardo replied.

“Thank you for bringing this to a successful conclusion,” he said to Cardo and Ap’lek both, not wanting them to think he wasn’t grateful they had tracked down one of the people responsible for nearly killing Livia and the baby. “I appreciate being able to count on you both, especially now.”

The men embraced in brotherhood before parting ways, Kylo watching as the _Night Buzzard_ once again took to the stars on another important mission.

As Kylo left the knights behind and returned to his quarters, he thought how eager he was to see his son again, every moment he was away feeling like an eternity. He also thought about how the small babe seemed to grow by inches every time he turned his back, although Vicrul’s words rang in his ears as he considered what kind of fighter he would be from here on out if he let his family creep into his mind when he should be focused on war.

He shook the thought from his head as he re-entered his quarters, his guards taking up their positions both inside and outside the doors, as always. They were rotated out on a schedule using an algorithm known only to Kylo so that the unpredictability would help deter any plans for another kidnapping attempt, and he randomly brought personnel in for questioning under Force scrutiny to ascertain where their loyalties lie. It was tedious and time consuming, but Ren was committed to never having Livia or the baby put through such a brutal experience ever again.

Kylo crept to the bedchamber door where he found Livia sitting up in bed, her clumsy fingers still unsuccessfully trying to knit a pair of booties for Kylin and placing a finger to her lips to warn him that their infant slept silently nearby. However, Kylo’s mere presence alone must have alerted Kylin to awaken, and the baby squalled for attention as his lower lip pouted adorably.

“What’s the matter, little man?” his father asked as he lifted Kylin from his bed. “Daddy’s home, you’re fine.”

“He’s ready to get up anyway,” she said, “if you hand him to me, I’ll change him.”

“Actually, why don’t you let Lidelle change him, she loves wet diapers, doesn’t she Kylin?” Kylo joked.

“Kylo, don’t do that to the poor girl!” Livia laughed, “I can do it.”

“I know you can,” he answered, “but I have something more important for you to do, I’ll be right back.”

As Kylo disappeared from their bedchamber, Livia was left to wonder at his cryptic remark. Not nearly enough time had passed from the day of Kylin’s birth until she was ready for sex, so she didn’t think Kylo was expecting that.

He returned with a sly smile on his face and no baby.

“Where is Kylin?” she asked worriedly, panic rising in her voice as she began to climb from the bed.

“He’s with Lidelle, he’s fine, there are two guards out there,” he reassured her. “Livia, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.”

Livia sat back under the covers, worried about Kylo’s serious tone.

“Alright,” she said, realizing they’d never had the conversation they’d planned to have before he’d left on that fateful mission and everything fell apart - what would happen after the baby came.

“Are you sending me away?” she asked, almost unable to get the words out.

“What? No! Why would I send you away?” he asked incredulously.

“Because you have the baby now, you don’t need me anymore,” she began crying. “Oh, Kylo, please don’t send me away! I love him so much, I know I was awful about being pregnant with him at the beginning, but I can’t leave him, I just can’t! He’s my baby!!” she was desperate and terrified as she reached out to Kylo for mercy.

“Livia, that’s ridiculous, I’m not sending you anywhere! Stop, calm down,” he sat next to her on the bed, delicately pulling her into his strong embrace as her tears dampened his jacket. “Shhh…” he tried calming her fears. “You and Kylin will be together forever, or at least until he’s grown up. But that’s what I want to talk to you about,” he said, pulling back to look her in the eye.

“Livia, are you happy here with me?” he asked.

“Well, yes, I mean, I’m glad we’re all back together and safe, and things have been so good lately,” she replied, wiping her tears on the handkerchief Kylo always seemed to have handy for her.

“Livia,” Kylo began, looking down as he took her small, soft hands in his large, calloused ones. “I made a very small person a promise while you were in that surgical suite and I thought you were going to die, and I promised him I would do something I should have done a long time ago.” Kylo took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes, the dark brown deepening as his gaze penetrated her.

“I love you, Livia.”

She was awestruck.

“You do?” she asked, the surprise on her face sincere.

“I’ve loved you since the beginning, when you dropped that glass while you looked out the window at the fleet the first time. I don’t know why, but that moment you were mine, and all I’ve wanted to do ever since is protect you. I know I’ve done an awful job,” he said, looking down in shame as he berated himself internally once again for letting her be stolen away and tortured.

“Kylo, no, you have always done your best to care for me,” she said reassuringly.

“Then my best hasn’t been good enough, but I promise you, Livia, it’s going to get better and I will never let you down again.”

Kylo reached into his jacket and pulled out a small, oblong sphere which he placed in her hands.

“I want you to open this,” he said. “I’m not even sure if I’m doing this right, but I hope you’ll forgive me if I’m not.”

Livia was confused as she took the tiny ball from him. It was black like obsidian and warm from being inside his jacket, and it was just larger than an egg but she couldn’t find a catch.

“I don’t know how,” she said, looking for a way to make it reveal its contents until she discovered that it twisted apart in the middle. “Oh,” she said in surprise as the lid slid open, but when she looked inside, she said, “OH!”

“Do you like it?” Kylo asked eagerly.

“Kylo, what is this?” Livia asked as she pulled a jewel encrusted ring from the black box and held it in front of her.

“You don’t like it?” He looked crestfallen.

“No, it’s beautiful, I love it! But what is it?” she asked.

“It’s a ring, as you said,” he said. “You told me, when you get married on Terra, you exchange rings, and I just thought later, you could give me a ring… why are you crying, Livia? You hate it, don’t you?”

Livia leaned into him, cupping the ring close to her heart and bawling as she felt her world fill with a level of joy she couldn't imagine possible.

“You love me, you want to marry me!” she exclaimed.

“Yes, Livia, I do,” he said solemnly, looking down at her, “if you’ll have me.”

She could only nod as her emotions gripped her until she realized she was forgetting something very important.

“Kylo?”

“Yes, my love,” he addressed her for the first time.

“I love you, too. I have loved you since the time you first brought me to your quarters and shared yourself with me, who you really were, when I knew you trusted me, but I was afraid to tell you.”

“And when you finally did, I spurned you. I’m so sorry, Livia. I was scared.”

“You, scared?” she asked, unbelieving.

“No one wants to get close to me, and I couldn’t accept that you would want to be close to me either, especially after all the horrible things I’ve done, all the things I had done to you. I’m sorry things went this far, that you spent the pregnancy alone, that I ignored you the whole time. It was cruel, and I want to make it up to you, you and Kylin both.”

Livia was overwhelmed by his expression of care and devotion and she reached up to kiss him, her lips welcoming him into her heart with no reservations, no pride, no fear, just pure love and acceptance, and for the first time, Kylo was able to accept that love from another human being without feeling he was undeserving.

“So, will you marry me, Livia?” he asked.

“Yes!” Livia exclaimed, sure in her heart that it was right and good, and that he truly wanted and loved her. As she squeezed her hands in excitement, she remembered she was still holding the ring in her palm.

“Oh, the ring!” she said, spreading her hand open to reveal the silvery band dotted with an array of the most beautiful gems she’d ever seen in a variety of sizes, reminding her of a nebula.

“Kylo, it’s lovely,” she said as she gazed at the fine craftsmanship.

“I designed it myself,” he said, “that’s what my meeting was last week. I didn’t want you to see the Master from the Jeweler’s Guild coming to our suite, but I didn’t want to have to go back to Coruscant to meet him and leave you alone, so I snuck him in. I’m sorry if you felt like I was keeping something from you.”

Livia laughed. “No, I knew it had to be something important to you, and my mother taught me never to question a man about his business, because you might not like what you find out! I would have been disappointed if I knew your secret before you were ready to tell me,” she smiled.

“Your mother was a wise woman, just as you are,” he said. “So, do you like it?”

“Yes, but tell me, what are all these gems?” she asked in wonder.

Kylo took her hands in his as they looked at the jeweled band together. 

“The Corusca gem is a purple stone named after Coruscant, and I chose it because it’s an extremely strong stone, just as you are strong, my love, and it reminded me of the purple flowers I’ve brought you from there that you love so,” he said as he reached over to cup her cheek.

“The red one is a fire ruby from Lothal to commemorate the blood you sacrificed and the trial by fire you endured to bring our son into the world,” he explained solemnly, the memory of the trauma still fresh in both their minds.

“The blue stone,” he continued as he turned the ring, “is a small remnant of the Kyber crystal I originally used to create my lightsaber. When I bled it with dark side energy, it cracked and turned red in the process, but one small piece of the original blue stone remained, and I have kept it with me all these years to remind me where I came from, as I hope you will always remember me. And finally, the tiny clear stones are diamonds, reminding me of the stars in that window the first night I held you in my arms.”

Livia was weeping openly at his kind and romantic gesture, unable to fathom he’d held this much love for her under his cold, hard exterior all this time.

“Thank you, Kylo,” she said, admiring the delicately wrought piece of jewelry as he slipped it onto her finger. “I will treasure it always.”

As she looked up at him, he leaned down and set his warm, inviting lips against hers, engulfing her mouth softly with his own, hungrily exploring the wetness within as he poured his passion into her, his tongue stroking her eagerly as he opened himself up to her. She, too, reached through with her desire for his love, expressing her devotion and affection for him in the gentle way she explored his lips, her ardor rising and her milk letting down, soaking the front of her nightgown as she gasped with the flush of hormones.

A loud, petulant cry sounded from outside the bedchamber, and Lidelle tapped at the door. “My lady?” she called. “I think the little prince is hungry.”

Kylo and Livia looked at each other and laughed, sad that their time alone was over but happy knowing that many more like it lay ahead of them, and Kylo rose to let the nurse in with their son, the focus of all their love at the moment.

Lidelle handed the sweet babe to his mother, and his voracious appetite told him just where to find the nourishment he was seeking as he turned his cheek swiftly to his mother’s chest, smelling the sweet liquor of her body that was sustaining him. He became flustered as Livia fumbled with the laces of her gown, and she hushed him as his hand pulled impatiently at the fabric and he wailed in protest.

“Hush sweetie, there you are,” Livia said as she pulled a ripe, full breast of milk from her gown and guided the nipple to his mouth, the white droplets of life-giving liquid already trickling down her firm bosom. As he suckled heartily from her, he made soft, happy noises and Kylo reached over to stroke the baby’s raven black locks.

“Save your old man some,” he whispered to the baby, eliciting a giggle from Livia, and as he turned to leave his betrothed and his baby to their routine, he winked at her before he left.

Livia looked down to see that her hand cradling the baby’s head was adorned with the beautiful ring, and she thought with gratitude how blessed she had become, and how much her life had changed for the better, despite the fear and apprehension she’d once had for her future. She felt as if nothing and no one could take away her joy now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to think Livia's ring looked something like this:  
> 


	24. Slip Away

Ren was holding a briefing with the Supreme Council and the remaining members of the Knights of Ren in the conference room aboard the _Supremacy_. The absence of Allegiant General Pryde was of particular note, and an uncomfortable silence surrounded the table as the Knights lined the walls, their weapons at the ready. The entire senior staff had been made aware of the defection of Pryde and his subterfuge in Livia’s disappearance, and it was the first time they had all met to broach the topic.

“Must your men come armed to these meetings, Ren?” inquired General Engell, sitting next to the empty seat formerly occupied by Pryde.

“Until trust has been restored, General, my men and their weapons remain,” Kylo voiced the vague threat through his vocoder.

“I don’t see that your trust was well-founded up to this point,” General Domaric Quinn observed snidely, referring to Vicrul’s defection.

“Interesting you should mention that, Quinn,” Ren said as he strode around the table staring down at the bald, dour-looking officer, “since you spent so much time with Pryde. Would you like to tell me anything?”

“What would I possibly have to tell you?” Quinn swallowed nervously.

“You saw no sign Pryde was hatching a plot with Hux, then?” Ren grilled the general.

The general was nervously tracing his finger around the control panel in front of him, sensing the inquiry was a verbal trap. Screwing up his courage, Quinn answered Ren with his chin jutting forward.

“I saw nothing, Supreme Leader,” Quinn said defiantly.

Ren stood silently before drawing himself up to his full height. “Then you won’t be needing these since they don’t appear to be working for you anymore.”

Quinn began to feel unbearable pressure in his head, and his colleagues were aghast as they watched blood and tissue erupting from Quinn’s face, his screams of horror filling the chamber as his eyes were gouged out by Ren’s incorporeal fingers. The general collapsed on the floor moaning.

“Get this traitor out of my sight,” Ren commanded, and Admiral Griss called for a team to retrieve Ren’s latest victim.

“I will not rest until every last person involved in the kidnapping has been purged from our ranks,” Ren announced, his voice even and masterful. “We have reason to believe Pryde is hiding out on Susevfi, most likely with his daughter Lieutenant Ryelle Pryde, and I will be taking a team to track him down myself.”

“Supreme Leader, do you think it wise?” General Engell asked. “Your place is here with us, we can send a strike team to extricate Pryde.”

“With all due respect, Supreme Leader, I agree,” chimed in Griss, “there’s no need for you to dirty your hands doing such work. It’s beneath you, my lord.”

Ren sneered within his helmet at Griss’ flattery.

“While I appreciate your concerns, this quest is mine. It is my family that was threatened, it is I that must mete out justice,” Ren said, stepping over the bloody mess he’d made of Quinn.

~~~~~~

Later that night, in the dark of his bedchamber, Ren sat in the armchair where he watched over his sleeping family. As he rose to leave, he pulled the covers over Livia and then Kylin. His son began to fuss, though, and Kylo passed his hand over his child, quieting him with the Force so that he wouldn’t wake Livia.

“Let your mother sleep,” he said softly as he gently kissed his son goodbye. “Daddy will be back soon. I have to kill the bad man who tried to hurt you and mommy.”

~~~~~~

As Ren’s shuttle came within sight of the surface of Susevfi, one of Suarbi VII’s thirteen moons, he remembered the last time he’d landed here and his bittersweet reunion with Ryelle. He could never have known then what would have become of his life, and he was sorry that things had taken the turns they had, for he was loath to tell Ellie her father had turned traitor and what Ren must now do. He had sent no word ahead, had kept all of the details about the mission to Susevfi a secret, even from Livia. He’d left her in the capable hands of Trudgen, Ap’lek and the elite guard, but no one else outside of the Knights and the Supreme Council were aware of the mission to retrieve Enric Pryde.

It was Kylo’s final act to settle the score in the kidnapping plot that nearly cost the lives of his new family, and he was looking forward to settling all debts so that he could begin the preparations for his marriage to Livia, making her his empress. He knew that as the former wife of a senator, she had the capacity to maneuver the political arena that would accompany her new station, and he was proud to have her on his arm, so proud to have her as his mate, and he was looking forward to completing this last task and moving on with his life.

On the dark side of Susevfi, the shuttle approached the moon’s surface, Ren guiding the ship in himself as he sought out a sequestered location to use as a base of operations in his search for Pryde. Kylo was saddened that when he encountered Ryelle, he would be forced to reveal the truth to her about her father, but it couldn’t be helped - Enric’s betrayal may end his friendship with Ryelle, but Livia and Kylin now came first among all others, and he would let nothing from his past interfere with that.

“Landing gear engaged,” Cardo advised as the ship settled firmly on the compact plains of the moon. “Here we go.”

Ren left Ushar and Kuruk to guard the ship and serve as backup, Cardo following behind the Supreme Leader as the two men stepped confidently from the landing ramp, Ren’s cape billowing out from behind him in the gusty winds of the night. He took in his surroundings, orienting himself toward the archaeological dig where he knew he would find Ryelle and her father.

They marched on through the night, the ship having arrived from the west side of the dig site and landing several klicks away in order to allow them to approach covertly and take the former Allegiant General by surprise. After nearly an hour hiking across the desert plains, Ren could see the outline of the construction equipment rising from the horizon, the dawn beginning to create a silhouette behind the last place Ren saw Ryelle. It was there that Kylo discovered Ryelle’s tent off to the side, just as he remembered.

They approached stealthily, Kylo’s Force senses picking up the life signs of a man and a woman in the surrounding environs; it had to be Ellie and Enric. He signalled Cardo to take point at the back of the tent while he circled around to the front. Confident he had the drop on Pryde, Kylo slipped the flap open, where he saw Ellie and Enric lying within.

Ren reached out a foot and kicked Enric’s cot with tremendous force, startling the traitorous general from his sleep.

“Get up, Enric, it’s over,” Kylo announced as the man startled awake.

“What’s going on?” a feminine voice called from the other cot.

Kylo saw Ellie sit up in her own bed, disoriented and confused.

“Kylo? Whatever is going on… wait, this is a dream,” she said, rubbing her face.

“This is no dream, Ellie my dear,” her father said, backing away from Kylo as he grabbed Ryelle’s wrist and dragged her from her bed to use her as a shield.

“Daddy!” Ellie screamed, in shock that her father was now holding a gun to her head.

“Don’t move, Ren, or our lovely Ellie will be no more,” he threatened.

Kylo was shocked and disgusted Pryde would use his own daughter as a hostage.

“Kylo, what’s happening?” she shrieked, trying to escape her father’s clutches.

“Your father was behind a kidnapping plot against my child and future wife,” Kylo revealed. “I’m here to take him back with me to the _Supremacy_ to pay for his crimes.”

“Daddy, you didn’t, you couldn’t!” she protested.

“Oh, yes, darling,” Enric dissuaded her. “You see, if I only could have gotten that foolish foreigner out of the way, I could have joined our house to Ren’s and made you the most powerful empress in the galaxy. All I needed was the time to get rid of her, then you could come in and console Ren on his loss, and soon his attention would be back on you where it belonged.”

“Daddy, you’re mad,” she whispered, glancing at the pistol being held to her temple. “Kylo and I don’t care for each other that way, we never did!”

“I realize that now,” he said, “which is why it didn’t bother me to use you as bait to lure him here for the Resistance, instead.”

“What?!” Ryelle shrieked, and the tent was soon surrounded by blaster fire while Kylo stayed perfectly still, afraid the slightest move would mean Enric would shoot Ryelle through the head. He sensed Cardo had fallen as he and the general remained in a stand-off, with Ellie the pawn in the middle.

“Ellie,” Kylo called to her amidst the tumult. “Teahouse!”

Ryelle knew he was referencing the feats they’d accomplished between them on Daxam IV. She just needed to see Kylo’s next move to know when to act on it.

With split-second precision, Kylo reached out through the Force to grip Enric’s pistol arm and aim it toward the ceiling while telekinetically ripping the tent from its stakes. As the fabric of the tent created a diversion by enveloping everyone outside of it in a fabric barrier, it gave Ellie an escape route, which she took just as she had the day they’d escaped from the meeting in the teahouse with the informant that had gone so horribly wrong.

While Kylo held Enric in a Force-imbued grip, the general hanging from his wrist as Kylo dangled him supernaturally above the floor, Resistance fighters swarmed in, their blasters trained on Ren as he was pitifully outnumbered and they screamed for him to surrender as they arrested him, the trap Enric had so carefully laid now sprung on the Supreme Leader.

~~~~~~

Ryelle ran for all she was worth, following Kylo’s tracks back across the Susevfi desert to find his shuttle parked many klicks away. The experience was nearly as terrifying as their escape from Dolom Outpost, but there was much more on the line now - Kylo was captured, and the Resistance had him once again, only this time, he was a much bigger prize. Seeing the familiar shuttle rise in front of her once more gave her a sense of relief, and she stumbled up the ramp to find Kuruk and Ushar drawing their weapons on her as she held her hands up.

“Lieutenant Pryde,” she announced herself, “the Resistance has Kylo!”

As she said it, they saw a bright flash on the horizon through the front canopy as a small corvette rose from the surface of Susevfi and escaped the atmosphere of the moon.

“We have to go after them, they’re getting away!” she cried out.

“No,” Ushar said. “We return to the _Supremacy_ , we’ll regroup as he instructed us.”

“But you can’t let them take him!” she pleaded.

“This was the plan, we follow Ren’s orders,” Kuruk agreed with his comrade. “Strap in.”

Ryelle found herself back in her same jumpseat of the shuttle, albeit in a new model, but the sense of familiar danger was the same, and she held on tight as the Upsilon-class vessel veered sharply from the surface as it sped back towards its mother ship.

~~~~~~

Livia sat in the great room of the royal apartments, rocking Kylin as he cried, a colicky wail that he’d been suffering through for hours. Parna offered to take him but Livia wanted to be the one to comfort her baby. _If only Kylo was here_ , Livia thought, _he always quietens for his father._

But Livia didn’t know where he was, and if Trudgen or Ap’lek knew, they weren’t telling her. Kylo had been gone when Livia woke this morning, but he had not left a note, nor word with the servants, nor had any messages come since he’d departed. Parna had been able to find out his shuttle was gone, so he was definitely off-ship. Maybe this was simply one of those times she was going to have to bide her time and wait, and when he was home it would have been a short trip with a simple explanation.

But the day wore away and so did her patience, and she eventually found herself distraught over Kylin’s wailing.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, Parna, he won’t even nurse!” Livia worried as her breasts were becoming uncomfortably full.

“Let me take him,” Parna said, reaching for the babe. “You go express the milk and we’ll save it for him, he’ll be hungry eventually, won’t you?” the nursemaid asked the screaming infant.

Livia regretfully left her baby in the hands of his nurse, feeling she was failing him but knowing she had to relieve the pressure in her bosom or she would find herself with milk fever. Instead, she pumped her breasts to express the missed feeding Kylin wouldn’t take, his angry cries still echoing in their quarters, and while she was heartbroken to hear her son so upset, she felt a bit better that at least she wasn’t the only one unable to calm him.

When she returned to take Kylin back, she tried once again to see if he would nurse, but he still flatly refused.

“Parna, it’s strange, it’s like he knows his father is gone,” she said to the nurse before turning to her son, cradled in her arms. “Do you miss daddy?”

Kylin gave up a renewed cry, and Livia wondered if the baby possessed the same sense of the Force that Kylo had explained about himself. He’d mentioned that it ran in his family, and it occurred to her that she’d never given any consideration up until now whether Kylin would be so gifted as well. Maybe he could sense his father, could tell where he was and what was happening to him, and that’s why he was so upset.

A knock at the door brought an elite guard with a stranger.

“Lady Livia?” he addressed her, the title still making Livia uncomfortable. “You have a visitor.”

“Yes?” she asked, nervous at the appearance of a beautiful, petite brunette in a disheveled uniform behind him as he stepped aside.

“Let me take the baby,” Parna prompted her mistress, but Livia pulled back, wanting to keep her son close.

The visitor spoke.

“I’m Lieutenant Pryde, I need to speak with you about Kylo,” she announced.

 _But Pryde was the General, wasn’t he?_ Livia thought as she tried to make sense of what was going on. _Who is this Lieutenant woman?_

“You mean the Supreme Leader,” Livia said stiffly over Kylin’s fretting, reminding this woman just who Kylo now was and offended the Lieutenant would refer to him by his first name in front of her, forgetting her place. “How do you know him?” she asked.

“I’ve been on missions with him in the past, I recently provided him some texts,” she explained breathlessly.

“I see,” Livia replied coldly, pulling her crying baby close to her bosom. As she made the connection, she realized - this was the woman with the books, the woman she wasn’t at all sure Kylo hadn’t been sleeping with and for whom he may have feelings.

“Where is he?” she asked, somehow knowing this woman was involved in wherever Kylo had gone.

Ryelle had so much to tell and didn’t know where to start. “The Resistance have captured him. We have to get him back.”

Parna stepped up to support Livia, who had pulled the crying baby even tighter to her bosom as her legs began to give out on her, the potential loss of her child’s father sending ice through her veins.

“Please, sit down, my lady,” the nurse encouraged her, Livia allowing Parna to guide her to a soft chair and finally take Kylin to the nursery.

Livia looked over at the young woman and indicated a seat across from her.

“Please, sit,” she invited Lieutenant Pryde. 

“Thank you,” she replied, launching into her tale. “My father was Allegiant General Pryde. He’s betrayed Ren and turned him over to the Resistance,” she said angrily. “I had no idea what he was up to. He’d recently come to stay with me at Susevfi and I thought it was out of the ordinary, but he acted like it was merely a visit, until early this morning, Kylo - I mean, the Supreme Leader - he appeared in my tent, and when he confronted my father, it all went sideways - Daddy had set a trap, and now the Resistance have him!”

Livia took in Lieutenant Pryde’s words, then rose to approach the doors where Trudgen and Ap’lek stood guard.

“Where are the rest of the Knights?” she demanded. They looked at each other before answering.

“Kuruk and Ushar came back with Pryde,” Ap’lek pointed at the lieutenant, who rose to chime in.

“Cardo didn’t make it,” Ryelle volunteered, having seen Cardo’s body lying at the back of the tent as she made her escape.

Livia spun to face her rival as Cardo’s loss made Kylo’s disappearance seem all the more pressing, all the more dangerous.

“Where are Kuruk and Ushar now?” Livia asked Trudgen.

“They’re debriefing the Supreme Council,” he replied

“Did you have anything to do with this?” she demanded angrily from Lieutenant Pryde.

“No!” she protested as Livia stalked her down, “I didn’t even know the Supreme Leader would be on Susevfi! I haven’t seen or spoken with him in months!”

Livia was furious, and she was tired of feeling frightened and threatened by enemies all around her, and the protective mother was having none of it. She reached out and smacked Ryelle across the face, leaving a red mark on her cheek and stunning everyone in the room.

“Kylo Ren is to be my husband and not one more person is going to attempt to come between us and our family!” she raged. “I will have my child’s father back, I don’t care who I have to destroy to bring him home!”

That’s when Ryelle realized - this was the woman Kylo had fallen in love with, the woman he’d been so torn up inside over, and she could see why. The lady was fierce and courageous, and she was now a mother defending her young, her place with her partner, and Ryelle posed a threat she wasn’t going to allow go unanswered.

“Take her to the detention level and interrogate her,” she commanded Trudgen. “She’s to remain there until the Supreme Leader can be rescued, then he can deal with her.”

“My lady, please, you don’t know what you’re doing!” the pretty lieutenant begged Livia as Trudgen and Ap’lek grudgingly approached her. “I’m only here to help. I know he loves you, he cares very deeply for you, and I may be the only person who can tell you what you need to get him back!”

“Then you had best tell us everything you know,” Livia threatened her, “or so help me, I will have you torn apart limb by limb until I get the answers I’m seeking and Kylo is back home.”

When Ryelle sat down to speak with Livia and the Knights, she shared the experiences she and Kylo had after they’d been captured by the Resistance at Manax Outpost and how they’d been held and questioned by General Organa.

“You mean to tell me the General of the opposition is his very own mother?” Livia asked, stunned by the news.

“He never told you,” Ryelle observed, saddened that she was the one sharing Kylo’s family history with Livia for the first time, as this should have been Kylo’s privilege by right. “Her twin brother is Luke Skywalker, the famed Jedi Knight.”

“The one who tried to kill him,” Livia nodded. “Of him, I was aware, but Kylo didn’t discuss his parents in much detail.”

Ryelle tried to console her that Kylo had not shared that information with her directly. “Most of what I know has come from my experience in the FOSB.”

“What is that?” Livia asked.

“The First Order Security Bureau is the intelligence arm of our government,” Ryelle answered.

“You mean, spies?” Livia inquired, her suspicion of Lieutenant Pryde rising once again.

“You could say that, but it also serves as an internal policing bureau,” she explained as Livia was reminded of the Russian Cheka.

“In any case, it was my job at the time to know certain things,” Pryde continued. “Without that knowledge, I couldn’t have known who our enemies were in particular, and what they were doing to infiltrate our organization, but I know now. I have met some of them, I have been on their ship, and I can lead you to them.”

Livia sat back, the pressure and confusion putting her under stress, not to mention the continual crying still coming from her son. She now believed without a doubt that Kylin knew his father was in danger, and the thought of her son losing Kylo was intolerable to Livia. She had to get Kylo back, and fast, before her son or her fiancée suffered one more moment.

~~~~~~

Kylo was bound neck, hand and foot in special manacles that emanated a strange blue glow, suppressing his Force abilities. They had been locked on him the moment Ellie had managed to escape the tent, and Kylo wondered for the millionth time if he hadn’t made a mistake helping her get away and thereby putting himself in jeopardy, leading to his capture.

But Kylo knew in his heart he couldn’t have allowed Ellie to die so that he could flee. His conscience would have haunted him and he would never have gotten another decent night’s sleep if he had to add her face to the growing litany of people who came to him in his nightmares. Instead, Kylo hung suspended in the manacles, awaiting what he was sure to be a visit from his mother.

As if on cue, Leia appeared at the door of his cell, her lapdog Poe Dameron not far behind.

“Oh, good, it’s the rebel and her pet rabble,” Kylo taunted the two of them.

“That’s no way to talk to you mother, now is it?” Poe asked.

“It is when she’s not much of a mother,” Kylo sneered at Poe, then directed his attention to the general. “Were you? Never around, never made sure I had the love and attention of my father or protection against my uncle. You never cared what the hell happened to me, did you, _Mother_? I’ve seen lothcats who cared better for their young than you,” Kylo spat at her. “Let me tell you something, _I’m_ a parent now, and I’m doing a hell of a sight better job than you already.”

“I heard,” Leia said sadly.

“You heard,” Kylo mocked her, “you mean you learned some intel that would help you become a hero for this foolish outfit once more. You’re willing to destroy your own flesh and blood to become queen of the universe, aren’t you?”

“That’s not true,” Leia argued with her son.

“All that’s ever mattered to you is being seen as the great peacemaker, the great diplomat, and the hell with everybody around you. No wonder father left, you chased him away with your antics,” he said acidly.

“At least she didn’t murder him,” Poe poked at Kylo, the accusation of fratricide hanging heavily in the room.

“Enough!” Leia broke in, the reminder of losing Han stabbing at her heart once more. “Ben, we’re here to negotiate,” Leia said coldly, starting up at where he was suspended over the field generator holding him captive. “We’re prepared to discuss terms for your return with your council, but we need to know they’ll bargain in good faith.”

“Never again are you to address me as Ben!” Kylo snarled at her. “I’m now the Supreme Leader, and not only do I not need to negotiate with you, our superior firepower makes capitulating to your amateur machinations unnecessary. Not one member of the First Order will ever be willing to sacrifice all we’ve built for one man, even me!”

“We’ll see about that,” Poe threatened as he guided a frustrated and tired Leia from Kylo’s cell.

~~~~~~

Livia sat silently by in the large conference room watching the Knights of Ren, the Supreme Council, and Lieutenant Pryde discuss a rescue effort to retrieve their Supreme Leader.

“What about the ships on Bracca?” Ap’lek asked.

“What ships?” Trudgen replied.

“When we rescued Lady Livia,” he indicated the planet where Hux had dragged Livia away, “it’s a huge scrapyard, it’s littered with captured Resistance ships. Why can’t we take one of those, we can approach undetected.”

“Better than that,” Livia chimed in. “What if we not only brought one of their own ships against them, but a large one, full of our own ships.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Admiral Griss dismissively.

“On my world, there is a legend about how the soldiers of Greece had been at war against the city of Troy for ten years until finally, they devised a plot to trick their way into the enemy city by bringing a large wooden horse to the gates as a gift as they pretended to sail away from the battlefield. Instead, the bulk of the army of soldiers were hidden inside the horse, and when the Trojans brought the horse inside the city gates, believing the Greeks were gone, the soldiers inside the horse waited until night fell, snuck out of the horse and took over the entire city, completely subduing its citizens.”

Snickers sounded from around the table, and Livia’s cheeks turned hot.

“Such fairy tales may make for interesting bedtime reading on your world, my lady, but this is real war,” General Engell scoffed.

“Wait,” Ryelle stayed the general. “Hear her out, this may work.”

“You of all people should not be relied upon for good judgment,” Admiral Griss pointed at Pryde. “How you could have had your father executing this treason under your very nose and you not be aware is outrageous.”

Trudgen stood, leaning against the table. “General Pryde was under _your_ nose for the past several months, how is it that you didn’t see it either?!”

“Just as you did not see your comrade and her nurse conspiring against the Supreme Leader?” Griss defended himself, pointing at Livia and rising to come face to face with the knight.

“Enough!” Livia demanded. “Supreme Leader Ren is in danger while we sit here bickering!”

“My lady,” General Engell interjected, “with all due respect you are not a military tactician and I think it best you leave this to the professionals.”

Livia was furious, but at the same time, her breasts had once again become uncomfortably full, and she was eager to return to the nursery to see if Kylin’s condition had improved.

“Then do it, and do it quickly,” Livia demanded of Engell, “my son needs his father, and the First Order needs its leader.” And she turned to leave angrily, her long black day dress swirling around her feet. ********


	25. Since You're Gone

Admiral Holdo stood outside the door of Kylo’s cell, staring down General Solo.

“Leia, I know it’s got to be killing you to treat your own son this way,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Leia replied, her face angry but resigned, “he knew he signed his own death warrant when he joined with Snoke.”

“I’ll do all I can to help facilitate the peace treaty, but Ren is the key, and he holds more value to us as the Supreme Leader than to you as your son,” Holdo admonished her, the woman’s cold and calculating visage serving as a preemptive rebuke should Leia think to change her mind and save him.

“I know, Amilyn,” Leia sighed, “I know.”

~~~~~~

“My lady, wait,” Ryelle ran after Livia, catching up to her at the lift in which the nervous mother was heading back to the royal quarters.

Livia looked her in the eye, a bit of jealousy and a good measure of mistrust creating a wall between the two women as Ryelle held the doors open.

“Your idea could work, we must try,” Ryelle encouraged her. “I don’t necessarily trust the other generals. I know them too well and I’m not convinced they truly want the Supreme Leader to return.”

Livia stepped aside in the lift, beckoning Pryde to join her.

“You understand, I don’t know if I can trust you, either,” Livia said. “Things have gone so wrong recently, I don’t know who I _can_ trust anymore!”

Ryelle wanted to convince Livia of her intentions, but she didn’t know what she could possibly say to Livia that would persuade her. “My lady, I have an idea,” Ryelle replied. “Rejoin your baby, I will return soon.”

Livia was confused as Ryelle stopped the lift early to depart several levels before her, but was more concerned about Kylin, and as she returned to the apartments, she could hear his desperate wails even from outside the doors of the quarters.

“Parna!” Livia called out as she entered, seeing instead Lidelle jouncing the baby in her arms, Parna sitting on a sofa looking tired.

Livia rushed to Lidelle to take Kylin, but he remained unmoved, his crying unabated.

“He wants his father,” Livia said, now convinced his connection to Kylo and the man’s absence was the cause of her son’s weeping.

Lidelle shook her head in dismay. “I don’t know what to do to help him,” she replied.

Livia felt the same as the baby’s cries brought down her milk once more, and despite Livia’s attempt to bring Kylin’s mouth to her breast, the rich milk trickling over his lips, he refused the nourishment and comfort she was trying so desperately to provide him.

“Call Lieutenant Zimms,” Livia ordered the young nurse, but she needn’t have bothered, for as Lidelle dialed the signal key to the medbay, Lieutenant Zimms appeared at the door with Ryelle following, the two women coming to Livia’s side.

“What’s wrong with the baby?” the doctor asked Livia.

“Kylin knows his father is missing, I know it,” she replied. “I think he senses Kylo through the Force and he knows Kylo is in danger.”

Zimms’ face grew grim. “How long has he been like this?” she asked as she swept the baby’s vitals with her scanner.

“Since early this morning. He won’t sleep or nurse, he’s inconsolable, please help me!” Livia pleaded for her son’s well-being.

“When’s the last time he had a wet diaper?” the doctor asked.

“Not since midmorning,” Parna replied, the group realizing it was now late in the day cycle, nearly eight hours having passed.

“Have you been expressing your milk?” she asked Livia, suddenly very business-like as she prepared a hypospray.

“Yes,” the baby’s mother answered, “but what is that? What are you giving him?”

“It’s a very mild sedative, pediatric-grade,” Zimms informed her. “We need to calm him, and then I’ll give him fluids intravenously. He’s severely dehydrated, and it can’t be allowed to continue.”

Livia held Kylin while the tiny hypospray was applied to his skin, and she watched in both worry and gratitude as his face began to relax, the sedative giving him a reprieve from his torment before Zimms supplied the infant with fluids to revive his system.

“He seems better already,” Livia observed, weeping to Lieutenant Zimms with gratitude. “Thank you!”

“Livia, there’s something else I need to do for you, another reason we’re here,” Zimms said. “Why don’t you give the baby to Lidelle for a moment. Lieutenant Pryde feels you and I need to talk.”

Livia unwillingly handed the infant over to the nurse and led the two Lieutenants into Kylo’s office where they could speak privately.

As the three women sat facing each other, Ryelle spoke first.

“My lady, I know you are hesitant to trust me, and I understand why, but there is something I know about the Supreme Leader that could help you understand my relationship to him and why he trusts me, and why you can trust me also,” she said as she turned to Lieutenant Zimms.

“Lieutenant, you are the Supreme Leader’s physician, are you not?” she asked Zimms.

The physician looked confused. “Yes,” she replied.

Ryelle went on. “Have you ever discussed his health with me prior to this?”

“No,” Zimms said. “Lieutenant, where are you going with this? You know there are things about the Supreme Leader I’m not privy to discuss with others.”

“I’m aware of that,” Ryelle replied, “that’s the crux of my argument. Can confirm for Lady Livia that the Supreme Leader has previously been addicted to spice?”

Zimms was stone-faced for a moment, giving away nothing until she looked from Ryelle to Livia and back again, finally understanding what Ryelle was after.

“What?” Livia asked, feeling left out of the conversation. “What are you talking about, what is ‘spice’?”

“Lady Livia,” Zimms began, “some time ago, after he’d gone through a particularly painful series of injuries, our Supreme Leader had fallen victim to a narcotic that was particularly addictive. Lieutenant Pryde had been on a mission with him and was witness to it when he’d gone through withdrawal.”

It took Livia a moment to take in the story, realizing that this meant Kylo had once been a drug addict, which shocked her to learn. What other secrets was he hiding from her?

“You may have noticed small, circular scars on his neck,” Lieutenant Zimms continued as she leaned forward to press home the significance. “He told me he nearly died and that Lieutenant Pryde probably saved his life, and the secret has never gone beyond she and I and the Supreme Leader, apparently.”

Livia looked at Ryelle, stunned, but knowing the words were true. Of all the gossip whispered and accusations hurled among First Order ranks, she’d never once discerned a hint of Kylo being addicted to drugs or that he’d nearly died as a result. She realized that without Ryelle, she may not have ever met Kylo, whom she’d come to love so much.

“Thank you,” Livia said, reaching her hand out to Ryelle’s. “I see now his well-being is important to both of us.”

“My lady, of that, have no doubt,” Ryelle replied.

“Very well,” Livia said, pushing back from Kylo’s desk and standing to face the two women. “What is our plan?”

~~~~~~

Livia wasn’t sure she liked what she was hearing, and yet, she didn’t see things heading any other direction considering they were unable to obtain much cooperation from the Supreme Council. The group was considering commandeering a ship from the Bracca scrapyard and sneaking into Resistance-controlled space as a derelict vessel needing help; Livia and Ryelle would disembark under the pretense of negotiating Ren’s release, and then the remaining Knights of Ren, whose life signs would be masked during the approach, would then sneak on board the _Raddus_ after the ship docked and effect Ren’s rescue.

“I’m not confident in this plan, not with such a small contingent of personnel,” Livia stated. “I don’t think this is going to work.”

“And what about the baby while you’re gone?” Ryelle asked.

Livia had been wavering about whether to bring him with her where she could keep him in her sight and continue trying to feed him, but she felt bringing a child into such a dangerous situation was insane and would mark her as an irresponsible parent.

She suddenly had an idea.

“What kind of woman is General Organa?” Livia asked.

“What do you mean?” Ryelle asked.

“How is her relationship with Kylo, is she a sensitive woman? Is she sentimental?” replied Livia.

Ryelle thought back to her experience on the _Raddus_ where she’d been held captive and met Leia the first and only time.

“In some ways, yes,” Ryelle confirmed. “She still loves the Supreme Leader very much, he matters a great deal to her and she seemed willing to do much to help him; she’d even asked me to help her to help him.”

Livia strolled up and down Kylo’s office, Kylin lying quietly sedated in the bassinet nearby as synthetic nutrition flowed into his veins.

“Is she a military mind?” Livia asked further.

“No, although she’s referred to as ‘General’, her role is mainly diplomatic these days, in fact, diplomacy has always been the expertise of the Organa family.”

“We need a backchannel,” Livia pondered. “And I think I found our target.”

“A what?” Ryelle asked. 

“An unofficial route to communicate with the opposition,” Livia said, recalling a hostage negotiation her late husband had been involved with when he’d sat on the U.S. Senate Intelligence Committee. “We clearly can’t go through the Supreme Council and we’re outgunned by firepower. The only thing we have left is diplomacy, and Leia is our pathway to freeing Kylo,” Livia announced.

Ryelle shook her head doubtfully. “I don’t know,” she replied.

“Have you any connections at the FOSB still?” Livia asked.

“Yes, of course, I’ve got a couple people I can count on,” Ryelle confirmed.

“How about someone who has an ‘in’ with the Resistance? An informant, a confidential source?”

“I know someone in the FOSB who can find me one,” she said. “I think I can trust him, but I’ll be taking a chance.”

“It’s a chance we have to take, Lieutenant,” Livia warned her. “We just have to get to Leia and let her see what a short-sighted ploy this was, because there’s no chance either the Supreme Leader or the First Order will cave to their demands.”

“I hope we can convince her,” Ryelle conjectured. “Organa’s loyalties are strongly tied to the Resistance. One of the Supreme Leader’s biggest issues in his relationship with his mother is that she valued her work over her family at every turn. I don’t know that she’ll be willing to make that decision now, either.”

“Have you ever seen a grandparent with their grandchild?” Livia asked Ryelle slyly. “Seen the sparkle in their eye, the sense of connection, the outpouring of love?”

Trying to remember her own grandparents, Ryelle could recall no details.

“No, I don’t think I have,” she answered.

“You’re about to,” Livia said, her visage determined.

~~~~~~

Kylo hung silently in the manacles, discovering that although he could not express Force energy outside the confines of the restraints, he was still able to maintain his connection internally, allowing him to meditate in the Force. He focused upon the wisdom of the Gray Jedi texts, seeking answers to help him from his predicament and preserving his strength. His thoughts also wandered to Livia and Kylin, concerned for their safety and hoping the Knights were keeping his family protected, but certain he and not they were the focus of the Resistance’s efforts.

~~~~~~

“What is it, my lady?” Parna asked as she, Lidelle and Irini followed Livia into the nursery to talk.

“I’m leaving to rescue Kylo, and I’m taking Kylin with me,” she announced, her hands clasped in front of her.

“No, my lady, you can’t!” Parna objected.

“I must, Parna. I know the risk I’m taking, and it’s a calculated one,” she said. “What I next need to decide is who is going with us. Parna, you’re older, and I wouldn’t ask you to endure such a journey at your age. Irini, you haven’t been with the family long, and you are not as emotionally invested as Parna and Lidelle.” Livia paused now, taking Lidelle’s hands in her own. “Lidelle, this leaves you. I can’t make you go, and I won’t hold it against you if you don’t want to come, but I need your help, as well as Lieutenant Zimms', who will be joining us.”

“Oh, my lady, I'm happy to go, thank you for trusting me with the little prince!” she gushed, Lidelle’s youth and exuberance a fitting addition to the team.

“It’s settled then. Please get Kylin’s things together, we’re expecting to be gone up to a week,” Livia instructed her, the young woman bustling to fulfill her mistress’ request, her colleagues assisting her as Livia went next door to the bedchamber to pack her own bags.

Livia had sent the quartermaster to Ryelle to provide her anything she may need, and Livia grimaced in distaste as she realized she still couldn’t fit into her pre-pregnancy clothes, electing instead to continue wearing her long gowns, despite the impracticality of it. Nevertheless, she knew a regal appearance would help communicate the weight of power toward Leia she was seeking to convey, and she chose those dresses that most resembled Ren’s own wardrobe, wanting it to represent a united front.

Once all was in order, Livia retired to her office, Kylin’s bassinet next to her where he dozed helplessly under the haze of the narcotic that was keeping him from working himself into a frenzy. Lifting him into her arms, she tried once more to nurse her son, her breasts heavy and swollen with the milk he couldn’t drink, and once more she was forced to express away the precious liquid, saving it for when he would be reunited with his father and obey his hunger once again.

~~~~~~

General Leia Organa Solo stood outside the doors of Kylo’s prison, wanting to see him but despising the circumstances in which he was held. She had news, and she was unsure if she should share with him the transmission she’d received from Daxam IV inviting her to the unofficial meeting.

Leia passed her keyfob over the security panel, then again at the next entrance, having to pass facial recognition and verbal challenges by guards at each turn, so tight was the security.

Kylo’s eyes were closed as he remained in meditation, aware of his surroundings yet deeply focused.

“Mother,” he droned impassionately.

“Kylo,” she called to him. “I’ve received communication from Lieutenant Pryde.”

Kylo’s eyes parted slowly, suspicious of his mother’s motives. “Why tell me?” he asked.

“I need you to help me to convince her to get the Supreme Council to cooperate,” she said. “This meeting is going to be off the record, and I’m going to have more freedom to negotiate, but I must have something to use.”

“You will find Ryelle a worthy foe,” he advised her.

“Kylo, please,” Leia pleaded with her son. “Tell me something, anything to help me convince the First Order to come to terms with the Resistance for your life.”

“My life is forfeit for my Empire,” Kylo advised her, “just as our Anakin gave himself completely for the cause.”

“Your grandfather died a changed man-” she advised.

“As will I,” Kylo interjected. “I now know secrets, information withheld from me, from many Force users, the wisdom of the Gray Jedi, and I will bring balance to the Force, just as he did.”

Leia gasped, having only heard tales of the Gray Jedi and how her brother Luke had warned her about the power behind these legendary devotees.

“Kylo, you can’t possibly hold that much power,” she said, disbelieving him.

“You will see,” he threatened her, “You may have me trapped for now, but I will find a way to escape here, with or without the assistance of my people.”

~~~~~~

Livia had brought Kylo’s texts with her on the _Night Buzzard,_ the datapads full of information he’d gleaned in his translations of the Gray Jedi archives, and Ryelle looked over her shoulder at them during the long flight to Daxam IV, pointing out stories and lessons of interest.

“What is this one here?” Livia asked, one passage catching her attention.

“Ah, that’s Adme and Ev from the High Galactic Period, the Great Mother and Great Father, the first peoples to sail the stars,” Ryelle said, a slight smile crossing her face. “It’s a pretty story, one of our first legends, you could say, like your soldiers and their horse.”

Livia’s eyes scanned the lines of text, reading the story Kylo had so carefully translated:

_And in the days when the Force was forming within the ether, and the Ones were at the eve of creation, the Great Mother Adme and the Great Father Ev came together in dependence upon each other, and shared their Force power with each other where they joined together and multiplied their strength. And they travelled to a far away galaxy where they established a home upon the grounds of a world lush and plentiful._

_And Ev got on Adme two sons from one womb, and they were blessed, and they were cursed, for one child held the power of the light, and one child held the power of the darkness, and the children were opposed to each other from the time their waters flowed into each other, and their names were Aybell and Kan._

_Now Kan was the second-born and had been cursed with the power of the darkness, so that he was jealous of his elder brother Aybell who was blessed with the power of the light. And in his envy, Kan took up the Sabre of his forefather and cut down his brother, but it did not grant him the power which he was seeking, and he wandered alone until he died many eons later._

_And Ev and Adme had more children, and these children procreated with the children of the lush world, and in many generations there was born the great Jedi seer Mos-Es._

_And there were in that time many Force users, but they were under the sway of an evil emperor, and Mos-es came unto his Force brethren and took them as his apprentices, and led them out of the evil empire, whereby he used the Force to part a great sea of water and lead the fugitives to a new land where they established a new colony of Jedi._

_And many generations from Mos-Es was his descendant, a powerful Force user named Jes-Sus, first among the Jedi, a powerful healer and sage. Jes-Sus was beloved by those of great faith and small means, and they flocked unto him for every wonder of the Force. However, the emperor of that city was jealous of Jes-Sus’ power for he possessed not the Force, and called upon the armies to bring Jes-Sus to heel, whereupon the Jedi was put to death by the emperor’s counselors._

Livia sat in shock, the color drained from her face. This could only be the stories of her very own galaxy, her own Terra, her own faith. Was it possible the people of Earth were descended directly from the Jedi of this galaxy? If so, this meant it was, after all, possible for her to return to her place and time from here, because clearly, it had been done before. The people of this galaxy had ventured to Alpha Centauri and returned with these tales.

“Are you alright, my lady?” Ryelle asked, seeing Livia’s contorted expression.

“Yes,” she reassured her new friend, “some of these stories are just a bit disturbing.”

“I guess it’s a good thing they’re only stories, isn’t it?” Ryelle laughed, needing a reason to lighten the mood, Livia feeling the same stress, but she laughed along with Ryelle, feeling like a foolish child who’d had the truth in front of her the entire time.

“I’m glad the Supreme Leader took these,” Ryelle commented on the translations, “the originals are probably gone, in the possession of the Resistance now.”

At the mention of Kylo and the time he'd spent with Ryelle, probably in her bed, Livia became upset and excused herself, going to the cabin in the back where Lidelle was tending to Kylin. Livia shivered as she observed his cheeks were becoming sunken and his color, previously so rich and vibrant, was fading. Lieutenant Zimms came alongside Livia, checking on Kylin’s vital signs.

“He’s getting nutrients, but he’s still wasting away, why?” Livia pleaded, her heart breaking as she watched her child suffering. “I know you’re doing your best, but isn’t there anything else you can do for him?” she begged the physician.

“I’m sorry, Lady Livia, there’s nothing,” she said with regret. “It’s beyond my ability to help him now, I can only try to keep him alive.”

Livia sat on the bunk next to the bassinet, her hand stroking her son’s wan cheek as the lieutenant and nurse left her alone with her baby. She picked him up, noticing he felt slightly lighter, and snuggled him against her bare breast which was still insistently working to make the food for the baby he so desperately needed, but his pale face merely leaned against her lush nipple, completely ignoring the life-giving sustenance beneath which he previously relished with such enthusiasm.

Livia rocked him in her arms, singing to him a sweet lullaby and praying these would not be her last hours with the only child she would ever bear.


	26. It's All I Can Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seasons Greetings!  
> May your nights be naughty and dark,  
> And may all your Christmases be with the First Order. :)

As the team’s shuttle settled on the plains of Daxam IV, Ryelle was struck by a strange sense of nostalgia. This was where she and Kylo had become lovers, and yet now she was here with his future wife, his child’s mother, seeking to bargain for his safety from the Resistance that had hunted them down so mercilessly on the surface of this hostile, frozen planet those many months ago.

Livia carefully bundled Kylin up in insulated clothing, reminding her of her own winter coats and hats and mittens she’d worn during her childhood on Earth. Thankfully, the bassinet’s hood closed completely and contained an environmental control unit that would keep him warm no matter the weather, and she kissed his pale forehead before enclosing him in the protective shell and guiding the floating crib to the landing ramp where the team descended to the planet’s surface.

Livia realized in shock when her feet touched the soil of the alien world that this was the first planet she’d visited outside of Earth, and it was a momentous occasion. Unfortunately, it was bittersweet, tinged with such fear and sadness that she couldn’t appreciate the milestone in her life in her new home. Instead, she followed Lieutenants Pryde and Zimms, with Trudgen, Kuruk and Ushar guarding them while Ap’lek remained behind with Lidelle.

The party made their way the brief distance of three klicks to Dolom Outpost where they were to meet Leia in the small hostel where Ryelle and Kylo had stayed that fateful mission. No one spoke a word, everyone burying their faces in their scarves and goggles as protection against the fierce wind that Ryelle didn’t think could possibly be any colder than the last time they were here, yet her gauges showed it was ten degrees lower than her previous visit. They had carefully scheduled their landing to ensure they would be able to make the hike safely to the outpost no matter what time of day they arrived, and when the outpost came into view, the group were relieved to be able to take shelter in the adobe walls of the small compound.

“When is she coming?” Livia asked Ryelle, who appeared to have received an incoming transmission on her commlink.

“It doesn’t say yet,” Ryelle replied, “just that she’s arrived on the planet.”

“I don’t like this,” Livia said anxiously as she lifted Kylin from his bassinet so that the doctor could check him over.

“I know you’re worried, Lady Livia, but sometimes these meetings are bumpy, they don’t always take place when they’re supposed to,” she tried reassuring the nervous mother as she remembered her own trepidation she’d ignored at the ill-fated meeting at the teahouse. They would be meeting at the hostel this time in order to keep Kylin from having to travel more than absolutely necessary and to keep better control of their environment.

The group settled into the warm suite, resting on the various beds and sofas as they awaited word of Leia’s arrival. Livia tried in vain to feed Kylin, once more ready to pump the unneeded milk away to allow her to keep her milk supply at the ready, and she wanted to believe he would snap out of this horrible state, gobble up every drop of rich, sweet milk and be back to his normal, adorable self. But Livia knew she must prepare herself, that if this radical team were unable to secure Kylo’s release soon, his son could soon perish.

Ryelle’s comm toned again, and her face lit up in expectation.

“She’s here,” the lieutenant announced.

Livia quickly gathered her son to her bosom, her long black dress skimming the floor, the high-collared cloak hanging heavily from her shoulders mimicking the weight of the situation she was feeling. They waited with bated breath for the signal that would come at the door, the quiet so tense that when the knock came, it sounded like an explosion, startling the women as the Knights stood at the ready, weapons drawn and prepared for any aggressive actions.

Ryelle opened the door to the general, the diminutive woman hidden among the layers of warm clothing she’d donned to traverse the distance from her ship to the hostel.

“General Organa,” Lieutenant Pryde announced, nodding her head to greet their visitor.

“Sergeant Pryde,” Leia greeted the young woman as she pulled back her furred hood. “I’d like to say it’s good to see you again, but I’m sorry we’re having to reunite this way.” 

“It’s Lieutenant now, but yes, it’s unfortunate,” Ryelle expressed her agreement with Leia, who looked with trepidation at Kylo’s knights but stood undaunted as Ryelle introduced her to Livia.

“General, may I introduce you to Lady Livia,” Ryelle paused, trying not to overwhelm the elderly officer with too much at once. “Lady Livia is your son’s fiancee… and your grandchild’s mother.”

Livia tried to hold herself bravely with dignity and courage, though it took everything she had not to fall at Leia’s feet and beg for the life of her man and her child. She was aware that Leia was not only a general, but formerly a princess, and leaning on her earthly culture, she dipped a small curtsey to the woman.

“General Organa,” Livia choked out. She had rehearsed everything she was going to say to this woman, but she felt like she’d retained nothing as she stood staring at Kylo’s mother for the first time.

Leia’s face was a mixture of wonder and anticipation, and her eyes soon fixed on the bundle of gray swaddling Livia held possessively in her arms. While she desperately wanted to lay her eyes on her first grandchild, she was cautious not to frighten the child’s mother, for she knew just how harrowing it was to be the mother of a prince.

“Lady Livia,” Leia addressed her. “I’m so glad to meet you, though I wish the circumstances were more fortuitous.”

“Yes,” Livia agreed. “Would you like to meet your grandson?” she offered.

“Please,” Leia sighed, letting go the breath she hadn’t been aware she’d been holding tightly in her chest. She approached slowly, keeping her eyes focused on the blanket, but when the child’s face came into view, her mouth dropped in horror.

The baby’s eyes were dark and sunken, his cheeks sallow and thin. He was resting, though not in a natural state of sleep but rather in a suppressed state of inactivity.

“What’s wrong with him?” she asked. “Why don’t you have him in a medbay?” she demanded.

“Because what my son is suffering from can’t be treated by medicine. He needs his father, and without his connection to Kylo through the Force, Kylin is wasting away. He won’t eat, he won’t sleep, and his bodily functions are shutting down,” Livia explained as her throat grew tight with rage and sorrow. “General, you must give Kylo back to us, or Kylin is going to die!”

Leia noted with dread the intravenous line inserted into the baby’s arm, the bag of nutritive liquid strapped to his mother’s shoulder where it was carried it for him, and she briefly wondered if this was a ruse by the First Order; if they had taken a baby who looked enough like Kylo, starved him, and set up this meeting to lure her in and kidnap her in an attempt at a prisoner exchange.

But Leia could feel the baby’s feeble Force signature flickering weakly between them. This was without a doubt Kylo’s child, and she didn’t discern that there was any subterfuge on the part of the woman before her. What confused her was why Livia was the mother and not Ryelle, because she was sure the last time she’d seen them together, Pryde was in love with Kylo and Kylo loved her as well. Nevertheless, the woman in front of her was clearly the child’s mother, for she could see that the dark spots on the woman’s gown revealed the milk the baby was not taking in leaking from her breasts, the baby impervious to its presence as it went to waste.

Ben had often been ravenous at the mere presence of Leia’s breasts, and the appearance of milk would have driven him into a voracious fit as he sought out his meal. This baby, however, was listless and completely disinterested, and Leia’s heart was torn in two at the sight of him.

“Can I hold him, please?” she pleaded with Livia.

The overprotective mother hesitated, looking over at her colleagues, and both Ryelle and Lieutenant Zimms nodded the encouragement silently.

Livia took in a ragged breath as she screwed up her courage to hand her precious infant over to the enemy, the idea appalling to her, having been indoctrinated with the message that the Resistance were a dangerous group of rabid radicals, intent on tearing apart the fabric of galactic society. Despite this, she extended her arms towards Leia as the older woman scooped her own underneath the tiny baby, careful not to dislodge the child’s intravenous liquid. His shock of ebony hair reminded her of her own son’s, and she gasped in awe at the sensation of holding him.

Livia was biting her lip in an attempt not to burst out in tears as she relinquished her baby to its grandmother. She began to have confidence that, yes, Leia was a sentimental woman who could be manipulated by her love for her grandson, and though it turned Livia’s stomach to do so, she would cross whatever barriers were necessary to save father and son. She remained quiet to allow Leia the opportunity to bond with the baby, standing by while the woman stroked his anemic cheeks and kissed his tepid skin.

The baby squirmed a tiny bit, seeming to pick up on the connection to his grandmother through the Force, and he let out a brief whimper, turning his head toward her. “Let’s sit,” Leia said, letting Livia lead her over to a sofa where they sat side by side. Kylin was becoming more active, and Leia tendered a suggestion.

“Lady Livia, do you want to try to feed him again?” she asked.

Livia nodded, freeing her breasts from her garment to give her son access to what he so desperately needed, Lieutenants Zimms and Ryelle looking on as Leia handed the baby back to Livia to nurse while stroking her grandson’s head to comfort him that she was still there. Livia held her breath as the baby continued to twitch as if he were waking, impatiently eager to see if he would come around.

“Come on, Kylin, please, for mommy!” she begged him and she began to break down in tears, Leia’s arm going around her shoulders, comforting the grieving mother. Leia sought out that space in her, deep down inside that she’d ignored for so many years, and tapped into it, stoking the energies of the Force in herself and sharing that energy with her grandson. At the moment she truly connected with him, the electrical prickle of Force energy that passed between them took her back to when Ben was a baby and he would reach out for her the same way.

Kylin began squalling, the Force bond his grandmother provided him enough to rouse him from his drugged torpor. Lieutenant Zimms stepped forward to observe the child’s vital activity, and Livia gently brought his open mouth to her nipple, her body rushing to respond to his cries. Her milk let down forcefully, and as Kylin closed his hungry lips around her areola, he was rewarded with a flood of warm milk which he choked on before he began to suckle it down in earnest.

The pain and fear Livia had been carrying for the past several days broke loose, and she began bawling in relief knowing that her son had been given a reprieve, even if only for a moment.

“Thank you,” she whispered to Leia, holding the grandmother’s hand as Kylin drank deeply from her. The women sat together, entwined around the small child and connected by the man they both loved dearly.

“General, you see what’s happening to him, you have to send Kylo back, I can’t let Kylin die!” Livia begged.

Leia’s face fell, for she knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. “I don’t know if I can,” she said softly, the apology evident in her voice. “It’s not up to me, I don’t have that much power.”

“The First Order will not negotiate,” she advised the general. “They’ll let Kylo die in your possession because one or more of them may have designs on the throne. There’s no vested interest for them to rescue him, and with a Force user out of the way, they’ll be more bold knowing they’re no longer ruled by a man with powers they don’t have, especially now that Snoke is gone.”

Leia watched Kylin nursing, stroking his silky black strands and watching as a minuscule amount of color began to creep back into the baby’s face, trying to think of a way to reunite father and son.

“I would have to break him out of the detention center, and the security is incredibly tight,” Leia said. “I don’t know how I could sneak him out without being caught.”

“The only other way will be to take him by force,” Livia said as she offered Kylin her other breast, “but it could put him in danger.”

Ryelle stepped up and offered their earlier plan, describing for the general the plot to bring a captured Resistance ship. “If you can help us get inside, we’ll handle the rest.”

“It would be treason,” Leia said, burying her face in her hands, knowing she was facing a greater dilemma than ever before.

“Speaking of treason, where is my father, Enric?” Ryelle asked.

Leia sighed. “Because he has been cooperative with us and has been supplying us information, we’re keeping him on as a consultant.”

The women of the First Order grimaced in distaste at the idea of Enric Pryde, traitor, being allowed the freedom to betray them with impunity while Kylo was imprisoned and his tiny baby suffered.

“Leia,” Livia addressed her future mother-in-law with familiarity and using it to intimidate the woman and leverage her power, “your people are being unreasonable. If you can’t sway them, we’ll be forced to take action, or you will lose your grandson.”

Kylin took the most opportune time to stop feeding as he began crying, and Livia rose to her feet to put him to her shoulder, patting his back to burp him as she looked down at Leia. As she loomed over Leia, Livia recalled the vicious language of political aggression used by her own government on Earth as she let her deepest fears and rage show on her face, her voice dark and threatening.

“If you let Kylo and Kylin perish, I will not hesitate to rally the First Order populace to encourage the entire Supreme Council to crush every ship, decimate every culture and scorch every planet that has stood against us or failed to act on our behalf. It will be total war, without mercy, because if I lose this baby and his father, there is nothing left for me, and I will leave nothing for anyone else.”

Leia cringed back at Livia’s words and bearing, understanding that this woman had fallen under Kylo’s spell and taken on his war-like mindset. Leia was beset on all sides and no one in Ren’s sphere was willing to take anything less than an attitude of hostility and greed for power, which was going to get them all killed.

“I think we’re done here,” Ryelle suggested, the Knights closing in around Livia for protection and the medic coming to evaluate the baby’s changing condition.

“I think you’re right,” Leia conceded, backing away from Livia slowly and sending waves of love through the Force to her grandson before exiting through the doors of the lodgings, the loss of being parted from him already filling her with sadness.

Within the lodgings, Livia collapsed over her son, his body once more limp in her arms as his connection to the Force was lost, and she cursed herself that she’d utterly failed her child in the one attempt she had to bring his father back home.

~~~~~~

Livia’s dress caressed her legs as her tired strides took her around the perimeter of her quarters once more, Kylin in her arms, crying out for his father as Livia walked and rocked him, trying unsuccessfully to comfort him. She and Lieutenant Zimms had decided to space the medication out further so as not to keep him sedated around the clock, and Livia was unable to sleep while he fussed, but she didn’t want the full burden of his discomfort foisted off on Irini. Now that her plan to convince Leia help rescue Kylo from the Resistance had failed, she couldn’t sleep anyway, and she noticed as she passed a mirror in her bedchamber that she was beginning to look as pale and drawn as Kylin.

“Come on, honey,” she said tiredly, sitting on a couch and attempting to nurse him, hoping the sensation of his cheek against her breast would at least succor him, if not feed him. It comforted her a small amount, feeling him against her, but at the same time she wondered if he would die, and this moment would be a memory she would look back on with sorrow. Her other thoughts still focused on a plan, for she had not given up on rescuing Kylo, but she was so tired and distraught, she was having trouble thinking of a solution.

Livia had been so sure that when Leia held her grandchild and saw his suffering, the general would vow at that very moment to move heaven and earth to reunite her son with his child. But Livia saw the indecision on Leia’s face, heard in her voice the unwillingness to betray her cause. Livia knew now that she was dealing with zealots, fanatically devoted to destroying the First Order no matter the cost and that Kylo had indeed been raised by a mother whose commitment to such an organization had led her to abandon her son emotionally if not physically, and this woman was not going to cross that organization, even for her own flesh and blood.

~~~~~~

“Amilyn, I need to see you in my office,” Leia said over the comm. “As soon as you can.”

The admiral confirmed she would attend General Organa presently as Leia drew off the cold-weather gear she’d worn to Daxam IV. She held the coat to her face for a moment and inhaled the soft scent of her grandbaby one last time as Kylin’s smell began to fade from the fabric. The infant’s sickly face still haunted her, and the entire trip back to the  _ Raddus  _ had filled her with a restlessness she couldn’t shake.

When Admiral Holdo arrived, Leia was behind her desk, examining the most recent communiques on their attempts to negotiate with the First Order.

“What’s the latest on Ren?” she asked.

“They’re not budging,” Holdo said, settling into the chair across from Leia, crossing her long legs and resting her hands on her knee.

“That’s it?” she asked, her voice tense.

Holdo seemed piqued by her inquiry. “Well, what did you expect, Leia, they’re militant extremists, and they’re not going to just cave in and sign a peace treaty overnight.”

“But we haven’t even gotten them to come to the table,” she said. “Doesn’t that tell you something?”

“Leia, what are you trying to say?” Holdo asked.

“I’m saying, they’re going to move on without him, they’re going to consider my son a loss, they don’t care anymore about getting him back, do you understand that? His presence here is doing nothing to move our cause forward and may actually put us in danger.”

Leia’s words hung in the air between them.

“General,” Holdo said quietly, noticing Leia’s coat on the credenza behind her, “your loyalties have always been unquestioned. I hope that remains the case, because our fleet is decimated, our morale is disintegrating, and he’s the only leverage we have right now.”

Leia fumed as she rose to lean on her desk and stared hard up at Admiral Holdo.

“My son is not leverage. He’s my child.”

“He’s not your child anymore, Leia,” Holdo accused her. “He's a man, a man who’s made decisions as an adult that have consequences!”

“There are more consequences at stake than you realize, Amilyn,” Leia whispered before the Admiral swept from her office in frustration.

~~~~~~

“I think I have an idea,” Kuruk announced to the rescue team composed of the knights, Livia and the two female Lieutenants. “In order to get Kylo out of that room, we have to make them want to move him, and in order to do that, he has to be in danger from them, from the ship; we need to sabotage that vessel so that they move their asset to protect him. Once he’s on the move, we intercept and effect the rescue.”

“How are we going to do that?” Ryelle challenged him.

“I don’t know, but it’s got to be something big; a meltdown, a fire, something that will force them out of that sector, if not the ship, but they have to believe it’s an accident and not an attack.”

“That could be dangerous,” Ushar observed. “We could be putting Kylo in more jeopardy, especially if he can’t defend himself and the accident goes out of control.”

“I know, I’ve thought of that, but we’re running out of time and options,” Kuruk reasoned with him.

“Are you sure which ship he’s on?” Trudgen inquired.

“Yes, we’ve had two sources of intel verify he’s on General Solo’s ship, the  _ Raddus _ ,” Ryelle confirmed. “In fact, I have an idea myself,” she said as she turned away, dialing her commbadge to a former colleague. “Can you get me schematics… the  _ Raddus…  _ yes, thank you.”

Once the plans Ryelle requested were transmitted to Kylo’s office, the group circled around the layout of the starship that served as the Resistance’s mobile command center.

“We need to see where a weak spot may lie,” Trudgen announced, tracing out the layers of decks in search of where Kylo was being kept.

“It looks like the detention area is fore of the ventral crew decks,” Ap’lek noted. “It’s between the atmospheric processing plant and the fuel storage. We could try to set off an explosion in one of these, but I don’t know if the processing plant would cause enough of an issue, and the fuel storage could blow up the whole ship.”

As Livia had stood back and held Kylin, realizing he was inching ever closer to death, she observed the interaction between the team members and was beginning to come to the conclusion that this plan was not tenable, and she needed to do something now. Frustrated, she tugged on Ryelle’s sleeve and pulled her aside.

“I need to reach back out through your channel, I want to meet with Leia again,” she announced quietly.

“But Lady Livia,” she protested, “we tried that, she’s not willing to do what we need her to do.”

“I have a different plan, and I will have to go alone this time,” Livia replied.

Ryelle considered the request and acquiesced, drawing Livia with her into the guest quarters where she dialed the signal key for her informant, and the two women spoke with the contact who would be able to reach out to General Solo. Once the appointment was made, Livia asked Lieutenant Zimms to meet her in her quarters and she slipped back to the nursery, gathering up as much of Kylin’s things as she could, Ryelle helping to pack their bags as Livia sent the nurses away, not wanting to have to burden them with what she was about to do.

When the physician appeared, Livia sat her down in her bedchambers for privacy, Ryelle joining them.

“Lieutenant, I’ve made a decision,” she announced. “I’m turning Kylin over to his grandmother. It’s my only option if I want to save my son.”

Zimms’ eyes went wide as she took in the implication of Livia’s plan, and Ryelle gasped.

“You know you may never get him back if you turn him over to the Resistance?” Zimms asked. “Are you sure?”

“I would sacrifice anything for him to live, and that means I have to do whatever it takes to make sure he has what he needs. Right now, that requires I put Kylin in the hands of someone who can reestablish his link to his father through the Force, even if that means I’ll lose him forever. I’d rather live without him than have him die in my arms,” Livia replied, openly sobbing now as she held her dozing son in a drug-induced slumber, ashen and lethargic.

“I’m afraid you may be right,” Zimms replied as she observed her tiny patient whom she was unable to revive despite her best efforts.

“I need you to come with me to help make sure we do all we can until I can turn him over to Leia. I know I’ve asked much of you, but are you willing to come with me again?” she pleaded with the doctor.

“Of course,” Zimms smiled. “It’s my honor to attend you, Lady Livia.”

With her free arm, Livia reached out and hugged Lieutenant Zimms fiercely in gratitude. “Thank you. Lieutenant Pryde is trying to arrange a transport.”

“No, let me handle that,” Zimms countered, turning to Ryelle, “I have certain privileges as a medic, I can procure transport more easily than you, and with less questions asked.”

Ryelle conceded the task to Zimms, grateful to have one less thing to worry about.

Once the shuttle Lieutenant Zimms acquired was ready for them, the three women carried Kylin and his belongings down to the shuttle bay where Ryelle bid the two women goodbye. “Please come back safely,” Pryde pleaded. “I’ll keep working with the extraction team and keep you posted.”

Before she disappeared up the ramp, Livia handed the baby to Lieutenant Zimms and reached over to clasp Ryelle’s hands in her own.

“Thank you, so very much, for helping me and my child. You didn’t have to do this, and I know you’re sacrificing much. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.”

Moved by the connection between them and their love for Kylo, the two women joined in a fierce embrace before Livia turned back up the ramp and the ship readied for take-off, Ryelle saluting briefly before rushing back to Kylo’s office.

~~~~~~

“I’m sorry, General Organa, I can’t let you in,” one of the guards at the entrance to the detention center apologized as Leia lifted her badge to the access panel and the keycard no longer responded.

“What?” Leia demanded.

“Admiral Holdo has asked that I no longer allow you access to the detention area,” he said, looking uncomfortable as he gave her the news.

“I don’t care what Holdo told you, my son is in there, and you’re going to let me in!” she demanded.

“General, if I do, she’ll have my commission, please,” he pleaded while his comrade sent for backup. The vestibule at the entrance to the prison was soon awash in armed personnel, ready to remove Leia forcibly from the area. Outnumbered, Leia turned and walked back to her office, feeling defeated.

She’d been rattled ever since she had left her grandson Kylin, and she couldn’t get his pathetic, sickly face out of her mind. She wanted to do something for him, but she was at a loss as to what, and she’d hoped talking to Kylo would provide her some guidance she could give to Livia. Now, even that pathway was closed to her.

She had to reason with Admiral Holdo.

“Amilyn, can I see you please,” Leia said over the comm.

“Now is not a good time, Leia,” the Admiral responded tightly, addressing Leia by her first name. 

_ Two can play that game _ , the general thought.

“Look, Amilyn, you promised I would be able to visit with my son, and now I find out I’m barred from even entering the facility,” she yelled at the comm unit.

“Well, since your trip to Daxam Four, we felt it was in your best interests to keep you from doing anything foolish,” Holdo’s haughty voice came back over the speaker.

Leia felt a knife had been stuck in her gut by having her son imprisoned the way he was, and it was twisted by Amilyn revealing she knew Leia had been communicating with Livia.

“Amilyn, I hope you know what you’re doing, because you’re about to find yourself in a world of hurt,” Leia threatened her before cutting off the communication.

On her end, Admiral Holdo turned to her aide. “Keep an eye on her.”


	27. Keep On Knocking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing all of you Kylettes a stocking full of dark side treats!  
> Merry Christmas,  
> 'Star

Once more, Livia found herself entering the atmosphere of Daxam IV with Kylin, only this time she knew she would be returning alone. She had held Kylin in her arms every possible moment of the trip, Lieutenant Zimms piloting the small ship solo.

They were able to put down in a small port on the east side of Dolom outpost as their intended meeting place, and as the time approached, Livia found herself questioning her plan. However, every time she replayed the scene in her mind of her son rousing from his stupor in the presence of his grandmother, she knew this was the only way to save her son’s life, until and unless his father could be rescued. Otherwise, the clock was ticking, and precious hours were passing until Kylin’s condition would deteriorate past the point of saving him. In the meantime, she kissed and hugged him, and told him how much she loved him, though she doubted he could hear her. She was overwhelmed by grief and guilt, but the feeling of helplessness was what stabbed at her most.

When it was time to meet the General, Lieutenant Zimms lowered the landing ramp and waited patiently for her signal until finally, a shadow crossed the ground nearby and Leia’s bundled figure came into view.

When the General ascended the ramp into the small cockpit, she seemed genuinely surprised to see only the two women, and the baby was with them as well.

“Lady Livia,” she approached, looking for her grandchild’s face among his blankets. “How is Kylin?”

“He’s worse, General,” Livia replied. “That’s why I’ve asked you here. I need you to take him, to save his life.”

Leia’s mouth dropped at the boy’s mother’s announcement. “Livia, no, I can’t do that, I can’t take him away from you.”

“You must, Leia, or he’s going to die,” Livia sobbed, her stress and fatigue overtaking her. “Your insurrection will not return his father to us, and without a connection to the Force, which no one else can give him, his body will give out, and he has very little time. We can’t wait for negotiations to take place, you must help me now!”

Livia was trembling as she held the baby, her strength flagging as she experienced the hardest thing she’d ever faced, even more difficult than giving birth to him. “I almost lost him once, I’m not going to let it happen again. If we’re meant to be together, I think the Force will find a way for us to be reunited, but today, he must go with you.”

Leia considered the young mother’s plea, her desperate tears reminding her of what her own mother, Padme, must have experienced with her and Luke, and once again an Organa was taking in a descendent of a Skywalker amidst war and strife.

“Very well, Livia,” Leia relented, “I’ll take him, although it pains me to separate you from him. I wish we could do anything but this.”

“I know,” Livia sobbed, barely able to speak. “But I also know you will care for him and make sure he gets the love and nourishment he needs. Can you help while I try to feed him one last time?”

“Absolutely,” Leia said, coming to sit across from Livia in the cockpit and stroking Kylin’s thinning hair. He looked worse than the last time Leia had seen him, which she didn’t think possible, and she understood Livia’s desperation to find a way to deliver her son from his ordeal at any cost. As Leia placed her hands on Kylin’s head and sent him soothing streams of Force energy, his consciousness began to return enough that he scented his mother’s milk and made half-hearted attempts to feed from her, his suckle growing stronger as he took in more nourishment.

Livia’s face was streaked with tears as she nursed her son for what she felt could be the last time, and it took every ounce of strength she had not to run screaming from her predicament and stand strong long enough to turn her son over to his grandmother.

“Please, promise me you won’t change his name?” she pleaded.

“No,” Leia replied.

“And please sing to him before you put him down for a nap, he loves little songs and to be rocked back and forth,” she asked.

“Alright,” Leia said.

“And make sure he knows how very much his mother and father love him,” she pleaded.

“Always,” Leia said as she began tearing up herself. “I will tell him every day. But it won’t be many days, I will make sure of that.”

Lieutenant Zimms had been standing aside, waiting should she be needed, but she heard a transmission on the ship’s comms that disturbed her.

“Lady Livia, we have incoming Resistance fighters,” she announced, “we must go, now, before they find us!”

Panicked, Livia stood, wondering whether to even kiss her son goodbye as the screams of starships passed overhead. As the women grabbed for everything Kylin would need to go with Leia, they rushed from the ship as they saw several X-Wing fighters pinwheeling overhead, bearing down on their position.

“They’re coming for _me_!” Leia said, looking down at her own commbadge, seeing the message transmitted to her, demanding her surrender. “It’s Holdo!”

Lieutenant Zimms called out to the General.

“Which ship is yours?” she hollered.

“What?!” Leia replied.

“Switch! You must go with Livia, I’ll take your ship and distract them while you escape! Go, now!”

Leia pointed out the small Y-Wing at the edge of the port, and Livia felt bereft at the idea of losing the doctor’s comforting presence. However, all she knew now was survival, and she had to get out of here before the Resistance had captured all three of her family - she, Kylo and the baby.

Livia ducked back inside the compact Xi-class shuttle she’d learned to pilot at the Academy, handing Kylin to Leia as she strapped herself into the captain’s chair and relied on her training to make their escape. She waited for Zimms to draw the Resistance ships away from the port, then engaged the sublight engines, heading in the opposite direction before breaking atmosphere and going to lightspeed.

Once the ship was safely engaged in hyperspace, Livia turned to check on Leia and Kylin, and found him fussing in his grandmother’s arms, more alert than he’d been in days and beginning to rouse.

“Here, let me take him,” Livia pleaded, the reprieve she’d been granted in not having to abandon her child to his grandmother making her feel like she was reuniting with him. “Would you pilot the ship while I finish feeding him?”

Leia gracefully changed places with Livia, stroking the baby’s head and sharing her Force energy with him while he nursed from his mother. Livia was full of gratitude as she watched Kylin latch onto her nipple, hungrily suckling from her, the rich, warm milk swelling within her breasts and filling his hungry mouth as he gulped down ounce after ounce of liquid nourishment.

“Slow down, honey,” Livia tried calming him, though she herself wanted to supply him with as much nutrition as she could as quickly as possible but not wanting him to have a tummy full of air, afraid he would get colic. “You’re going to be able to eat all you want now, Kylin.”

Looking at Leia, she assessed their situation. “Lieutenant Zimms,” she asked, “What will happen to her?”

“If she gives herself up? Once they find out it’s her and not me, they’ll put her in the same detention area as Kylo,” she replied. “If she doesn’t give herself up…” her voice trailed off, unable to admit to Livia that the Y-Wing would be destroyed, and Lieutenant Zimms with it. “Well, let’s hope she’s taken in, I think that’s the most likely scenario.”

“Will they torture her?” Livia asked worriedly.

“No!” Leia protested. “We don’t torture prisoners.”

Livia wasn’t sure she trusted Leia’s answer, but now was not the time to argue. She had bigger problems, namely, she was returning to the _Supremacy_ with the leader of the opposition in her shuttle, and she didn’t know if she could get Leia off the ship and into her quarters without arousing suspicion.

“I’m going to have to sneak you off the ship disguised as one of Kylin’s nurses,” she pondered aloud, “probably Parna. She’s closest in age and appearance to you.”

“Old and beat up, huh?” Leia joked.

Livia truly took in Leia’s face for the first time. She had kind eyes, the deep brown orbs the origin of Kylo’s. He had her noble nose as well, and the set of her mouth sometimes echoed Kylo’s when he was agitated.

“I think you’re beautiful,” Livia responded before burping Kylin between breasts, making sure to get as much air out of his tummy as possible, since he’d gulped so much she was sure half of what was in him was bubbles. As she set him back to the rest of his feeding, he opened his eyes and looked up at her, his thin little fist patting the roundness of her breast as if to say, _I’m okay, mommy_.

The relief of not having to leave her child behind, the sadness for the sacrifice Lieutenant Zimms had made in misdirecting the Resistance pilots, and the alleviation of her fear of him starving to death all combined to overwhelm her, and as she cried in relief, Leia patted her shoulder to console her.

“You have been so incredibly brave,” Leia observed, “I see why my son loves you.”

“Will I ever see him again?” Livia asked.

Leia thought for a moment, glancing down to see Kylin falling asleep at Livia’s breast.

“You will if I have anything to say about it.”

~~~~~~

“Who the hell is this?” Holdo demanded as Lieutenant Zimms was hauled before her, the doctor keeping mum. “This isn’t Leia, you idiot!” the admiral screamed at Commander Dameron.

“You know what, Admiral, I tracked down the general’s ship and brought it back, don’t blame me that she wasn’t in it, I did the best I could,” he defended himself.

“Did you, flyboy? Because it looks to me like you were in on this little scheme to try to help Leia spring her son,” she said accusingly. “Get him out of my sight,” she directed her bridge crew, “and throw this bitch into the detention area. I’ll have questions for her later.”

“Get your hands off me!” Dameron protested as two soldiers tried to remove him from the bridge. “You can’t make this treaty happen, Admiral! Leia’s not gonna let you use her son as a pawn.”

“Watch me,” Holdo threatened as Poe’s face disappeared behind the closing doors.

“Open a channel to the First Order,” she directed her signal tech. “Admiral Griss, this is Admiral Holdo of the Resistance ship _Raddus_. The time for negotiations to begin is now, or we execute Supreme Leader Ren. You have twenty hours to reply to his message.” Nodding to the tech, she said, “Transmission out.”

“You realize they have General Solo now, don’t you?” Captain Namit stepped forward and asked, sounding indignant.

“Don’t tell me what I know or don’t know, Geno,” she sneered at him. “I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever know about what goes on in the First Order, so don’t act like I’m some kind of fool.”

“Of course, Admiral,” the captain replied obediently, though her arrogance was off-putting, and he didn’t particularly like the way she’d spoken to Poe, either. He decided to go visit the pilot to talk to him about what had just occurred on the bridge.

“Poe, what the hell is going on with Holdo?” Namit asked.

“I dunno, Geno,” Dameron said, throwing his helmet disgustedly into his locker, “but I don’t like the way this is going. Leia said something’s wrong with this, something’s off. It’s like Holdo’s on a power trip, and she’s stopped thinking logically. She’s going to get us all killed.”

“And it’s like she doesn’t care if we get the general back,” Geno observed.

“Because she doesn’t,” Poe replied. “I think she’s prepared to sacrifice Ren, Leia, everybody to show she’s capable, and to be able to say she was the one who sued for peace and won. But at what cost?”

~~~~~~

When Livia returned to the docking bay of the _Supremacy_ , she contacted Parna to bring an extra set of her own clothing as well as Lidelle and one of the knights to meet her in the shuttle where she and Leia sat nervously with the baby. Leia cuddled Kylin while they waited, glad to have a moment to look into his eyes for the first time as the small infant gazed up at his grandmother in awe as if he knew who she was.

“I’m amazed at his sensitivity to the Force,” she noted. “Ben wasn’t like this as a baby.”

“Ben? You mean, ‘Ren’,” Livia corrected her.

Leia gave a tight smile. “His name wasn’t always Kylo Ren. We’d named him Ben after a family friend, a Jedi Knight who’d helped us escape from the first Death Star, who trained Luke in the Force. Ben’s surname was Solo, after his father Han.”

“He changed it after he met Snoke, didn’t he?” Livia asked.

Leia nodded sadly. “He lost more than his name when Snoke took him under his influence.”

“I think he’s gaining himself back since he executed his old Master,” Livia said. “He seems more sure of himself, becoming more confident in his abilities.”

The women were interrupted by the appearance of the nurses and Ap’lek who were suspicious of the presence of the elderly general holding Kylin.

“Parna, Lidelle, Ap’lek, this is General Solo of the Resistance.” Livia greeted them, letting the news sink in.

“What happened to Lieutenant Zimms?” Lidelle asked softly.

“It’s a long story for another time, but Kylin needs to stay with General Solo, and we need to disguise her in order to get her back to our quarters.” Turning to Parna, she asked, “You’ve brought the change of clothing I asked for?”

“Yes, my lady,” Parna volunteered, extending the outfit in her arms to Leia, the jacket and pants draped over her arm.

“Thank you, Parna. We’re going to make it appear as if it is still you returning to the quarters, but it will be General Solo. In the meantime, you stay here with Ap’lek to guard you, and then we’ll bring you both back in a little while. I’m sorry to do this to you,” Livia said with regret.

“Don’t apologize, my lady,”Parna said as she helped the general don the borrowed clothing. “I felt badly I wasn’t able to come with you before, I’m happy to be able to do something for the baby now.”

Parna was soon standing next to Leia, wrapped in the identical labcoat and pants of the elderly nurse who helped the general restyle her hair from Leia’s elegant chignon to match the practical bun Parna normally wore.

“Good enough for government work,” Livia mimicked the earthly judgment of anything done just well-enough to get by as she assessed Leia’s appearance

The team separated once more to undertake their subterfuge, and once they arrived back at the royal apartments, everyone collapsed in exhaustion, save for Lidia who gratefully took her child from his grandmother, observing the vast improvement in his condition just since Leia had accompanied them, for which she was eternally grateful.

Livia was astounded by the turn of events. Whereas just hours ago, she’d believed she was going to be forced to say goodbye to her precious infant, she now had him in her arms and he seemed to be recovering by leaps and bounds. His color was improving, he was alert, and he was feeding almost normally, and Livia’s gratitude had her cuddling and caressing him as soon as they returned from their journey, unwilling to let him out of her sight.

“My lady, why don’t you get some rest, and I’ll take Kylin?” Irini offered. It was late into the night cycle, past the midnight hour. Livia hesitated, but she was still recovering from the birth, and exhaustion was about to overtake her.

“Alright, but please help General Solo get settled in first? We can put her in the guest quarters at the end of the hallway.”

As Irini showed Leia to her room, Ap’lek returned with Parna, and Livia felt a sense of relief that everyone was stowed safely in the privacy of the royal apartments. She bathed Kylin, grateful to see his physical appearance was stabilizing if not improving, and she was grateful to see he was beginning to return to a sense of normalcy as she turned him over to Irini to be put to bed.

“Please, keep the bassinet in the bedchamber tonight,” she asked the nurse. “I’d still like to keep him by my side for now.”

As Livia’s eyes drifted shut, the last thing she saw was her beloved baby dozing normally under his tiny blanket next to her bedside, just as he belonged.

~~~~~~

Livia was aroused from her sleep after what felt like only minutes, Irini leaning over her and holding one of Livia’s robes. 

“My lady, you’re needed urgently!” she whispered, helping Livia get dressed while trying not to wake the baby.

“Kylin?” she asked, trying to shake the sleep from her mind.

“No,” Irini replied, “the Supreme Council is calling a meeting.”

As Livia rushed into the great room, she saw the knights and Leia already standing there, the general’s face bleary but her eyebrows knit with concern.

“I overheard Ren’s men talking. They’ve heard from Admiral Holdo?” Leia asked.

Trudgen stepped forward. “The Supreme Council have received a transmission from the _Raddus_ and our presence is requested in the Council’s chambers,” he announced.

Livia assembled behind the five knights and Ryelle, who was hastily buttoning her jacket.

“I hope they have good news,” Livia whispered to her new friend. “I can barely take this anymore.”

“Something has to give,” Ryelle assured her, “maybe they’re finally willing to return the Supreme Leader now that we have Leia.”

“Oh, my god! The Supreme Command don’t know we have her! If the Resistance reveal that information, we could be in jeopardy! Leia could be in danger, they’ll put her in a detention cell!”

Ryelle tried to discourage Livia’s fears. “The Resistance can’t prove she’s here, and we can claim Holdo is lying if she says we do.”

“What about Lieutenant Zimms? If they have her, won’t that be an indication that Leia’s here?” Livia asked.

“If it comes down to it, you must use me as a bargaining chip,” Leia said, her voice full of regret. “You’ll have to tell them I’m here and offer me in exchange for Kylo, and if you make the Resistance believe you’re getting information out of me, they’ll move faster in order to stop the flow of intel.”

Livia looked to Ryelle and Trudgen, the most senior of Kylo’s crew, for their opinion. “What should we do?”

“I’ve never known the First Order to bargain for a hostage in the past,” Ryelle said, her voice apologetic. “I didn’t want to say this before, but they typically consider them a loss and move on.”

“We have to make them want to give Kylo back,” Livia said. “What can we do?”

“The question is, will the Supreme Council want Kylo back more than they’ll want to keep General Organa?” Ryelle posited. “Who is worth more to them?”

“I don’t know,” Trudgen said, “but we’d better figure this out fast, we’re expected at that meeting immediately.”

Resigned to using the only leverage they had, Livia followed the troupe out the massive doors of their quarters to meet with the Supreme Council.

~~~~~~

“Kylo Ren,” Admiral Holdo addressed him, her voice dripping with disdain.

Kylo’s eyes opened as he arose from his continued meditation, and he gazed down at the elegant and haughty officer before him.

“If you’re ready to release me, I’m ready to leave,” he taunted her, expecting full well she wasn’t here for that.

“Well, I don’t know that you’d have anything to go back to, you evil little gargoyle,” she insulted him. “It seems your officers don’t give a good goddamn about you, and they’re already working to replace you. Because of that, your woman and your entourage went behind their backs and it got them all killed. You see, it appears there was an attempt by your little band of misfits to lure your mother to Daxam Four to kidnap her in order to trade her for you, but they weren’t quite as agile as they thought they were.”

Ren processed what she was saying, trying to discern her truthfulness but unable to without the ability to traverse the restraining field with the Force.

“Your mother, your son, and his mother are dead,” she uttered slowly before throwing in, “and a handful of your guards.”

The news hung in the air as Kylo repeated her words in his mind. Leia, dead. Kylin, dead. Livia, dead.

“And furthermore, your Supreme Council doesn’t seem willing to sit down and work out a peace treaty, so I’ve given them twenty hours before I off you,” she announced with relish. She seemed so self-satisfied that she was filling him with such horrible information that Kylo was beginning to feel truly powerless.

“It’s over, Ren. Unless you can prove yourself of value to us, your execution is set for…” she paused to check her comm’s clock. “oh, only eighteen hours from now. Plenty of time for you to think about what you’re going to do with the limited time you have left in your life.”

Holdo turned her back on him and strode from the detention cell, leaving Kylo to think on what she’d told him.

He focused on all of the things Holdo had said to him; he believed that his men and Livia would try to rescue him one way or another; that the Supreme Council were willing to turn their backs on him. What he had a hard time believing was that they’d all been killed, and he couldn’t decide if that was his instincts or his denial talking. What he did know was that he was still held captive, unable to escape, and his life was now being measured in minutes.

~~~~~~

“You lied to him,” Captain Namit confronted Admiral Holdo as he followed her from the detention center where he’d watched her browbeat Ren after he’d been interrogating Lieutenant Zimms, to no avail. All he’d gotten from the medic was her name, rank and identification number, over and over.

“What of it?” Holdo challenged him. “If the First Order won’t cooperate, we need to make as much use of Ren as possible, even if that means breaking him down, whether it’s physically or mentally.”

“That’s cruel beyond words, though, Admiral,” Namit admonished her, “we’re not the First Order, that’s not how we operate.”

“It is if I say it is!” she said, poking him in the chest and backing him into the wall, berating him. “I’m done playing by the rules with these monsters, aren’t you?”

“Not to the point I’m going to turn into something no better than them,” he replied. His face was determined and he leaned back against her assault.

“Sometimes, the rules are made to be broken,” Holdo responded, “and this is one of those times.”

She whirled away from him and stalked back toward the bridge while Namit returned to his quarters, drawing the small contraband comm unit from behind his vacc tube and sending a transmission to his contact, Ryelle Pryde…

~~~~~~

“The Resistance have issued a demand to meet for a peace treaty within the next eighteen hours, or they will execute Ren,” Admiral Griss announced to the assembled team.

The knights shifted uncomfortably within their armor while Ryelle caught Livia who began to crumple at the news.

“Sit, my lady,” she said, guiding Livia to one of the empty chairs at the conference table.

“What did you say to them?” Livia demanded, her voice shaking.

Griss and Engell looked at each other before Engell answered. “We have yet to reply. We’re unsure if he’s even still alive, if they’re negotiating in good faith.”

“He was alive as of twelve hours ago,” Livia informed them, defiance in her voice.

“And how would you know that?” General Parnadee inquired, looking suspicious.

When Livia hesitated, Ryelle piped up. “I have an informant I’ve been working with on the bridge of the _Raddus_ ,” she stated, then looked down at her commbadge. “He’s now informed me that Admiral Holdo lied to Ren and told him Livia and the baby are dead. She’s offered his freedom to him if he provides them intel on the First Order.”

“This must come to an end,” General Engell stated unequivocally. “Ren belongs here with us. Without him, the entire structure of the High Command will disintegrate, we can see that from how ineffective operations have been since his absence.”

“We also need to get Pryde back before he blathers any more intel than he already has,” Parnadee added, echoing Leia’s earlier observation about herself and Holdo.

“What else did they have to say?” Kuruk asked.

“That was all,” Admiral Griss grimaced, “she was short and not so sweet.”

“Well, what are your plans?” Ushar demanded.

“We cannot turn the entire First Order over to this rabble for one man, even if it is our Supreme Leader,” Griss replied. “However, it may be time to reconsider your earlier plan to infiltrate their ship and perform an extraction.”

The knights exchanged glances with each other and Livia, unsure if now was the time to reveal their plan. Ryelle chose to speak up.

“We may have another opportunity,” she proposed. “We currently hold General Organa in our possession.”

Griss shot to his feet, his hand slamming the conference table as a sly smile spread across Engell’s face and Parnadee rolled her eyes.

“What in Hellios are you saying?” he demanded. “How did you obtain Organa without going through proper channels or keeping us informed of your activities?!”

“We operate outside the traditional channels, if you haven’t noticed,” Trudgen said as he approached the Admiral, looming over him. “At the Supreme Leader’s command. We serve him, not you,” the knight stated, reiterating his point by poking Griss in the chest, shoving the dignified officer back a few inches.

“It was an unintended situation," Livia interjected. "You have to understand, the baby has become very ill since he’s been separated from his father, and his connection to the Force through his grandmother Leia is the only thing keeping him alive right now. However, she’s amenable to being traded as a hostage for Ren, but we have to act fast,” Livia said, leaning forward on the conference table. “You must allow us to make this prisoner exchange!”

“ _You_ have to understand,” Parnadee responded. “Holdo doesn’t appear to care about anything but getting a treaty out of us.”

“Then we can insist the only person we’re willing to negotiate with is General Organa,” Ryelle volunteered. “If we demand Ren returns to us while she returns to the _Raddus_ for negotiation, we will have achieved our side of the objective.”

“I know that sounds simple,” Engell observed, “but they won’t be so easily swayed. They’re going to hold onto Ren with all their might until they have exactly what they want.”

“Then maybe we combine this strategy with our earlier plan to extract the Supreme Leader by force,” Ushar suggested. “We lull them into believing we’re coming to the table and effect the rescue during the trade off.”

“Exactly,” Kuruk agreed. “That is the movement we wanted to see in order to get Ren out of the detention center where we can intercept him.”

As all heads in the room nodded their agreement, the assembled group set to work laying out the details of their mission, the unity of purpose giving Livia more hope than she’d had for days.


	28. Let's Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, I'll be out of town until Tuesday, 12/29 and will probably not post until 12/30.  
> Hang in there, cuz I've got a lot of adventure queued up for all you Kylettes!  
> Also, stay tuned for the following stories to be published in the near future:  
> \- CATHEDRALS OF THE EVIL, OR, THE ADVENTURES OF KYLO SOLO AND REN ZEPPELIN  
> (A STAR WARS/LED ZEPPELIN CROSSOVER)  
> It's New York City, 1972, and the oh-so-popular acid rock band Ren Zeppelin are in town to promote their new album "Cathedrals of the Evil." Sexy and talented front man Kylo Solo is trying to keep the band together as they struggle with crooked music executives, out of control sex, self-destructive drugs and alcohol, and all the other assorted dangers that are part and parcel of the rock and roll lifestyle. However, Kylo finds one oasis among the chaos that comes with stardom - a young, uptight, preppy journalist by the name of Alexis Engell, and as the two of them get to know each other, they find they have a lot more in common than The City That Never Sleeps. Kylo finds himself repeatedly drawn to her any time he's in town, but he can't seem to shake the feeling that getting too close to Lexy will bring down the walls of the secrets he's been keeping since he was a little boy, and he's not ready to give up everything he's worked so hard to build - or is he?  
> \- THE EDUCATION OF BEN SOLO: A SHORT & SMUT STORY (tm)  
> (My first stab at a one-shot, probably to turn into a series of Short & Smut Stories (tm))  
> A tender, adolescent Ben Solo accompanies his Uncle Luke in a search for artifacts at a royal palace. While Luke is occupied with the object of his desire, the lady of the house may have something Ben will desire as well!  
> \- THE LOTHARIO  
> They say it's lonely at the top, and nowhere is more lonely than on the throne of the Supreme Leader of the entire galaxy. But Kylo Ren trusts no one anymore, especially since he's become the target of several assassination attempts. He isn't one for attachments, nor is he satisfied by the empty charms of ladies of the night, their fake passion feeling cheap and hollow, but what's a strong young man with a healthy sexual appetite to do? Kylo needs something less, and something more, and a young, inexperienced officer named Ammila Androssian may be just the one to satisfy Ren's needs.  
> And don't forget to check out my profile for "The Saber" and "Encounter at Lothal" as well!  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kuruk and Ushar returned from Bracca with a corvette, a CR-90 model that was the successor of the CR-70 that had served as Bail Organa’s ship, and as Leia watched the bulky white and blue vessel coast into view through the transparisteel window of the royal apartments, she remembered the kind face of her father, wondering how he would have handled these negotiations.

“A blockade runner is perfect for our needs,” Ryelle said to Livia and Leia as the ship disappeared into the docking bay below. “Now the _Raddus_ is another matter. Let’s go meet up with the rest of the crew.”

Trudgen and Ap’lek were already in the Supreme Council’s conference room when Ryelle, Livia and Leia arrived, Kylin lying quietly and well-fed in his mother’s arms. Livia and Kylin both seemed much improved over the last eight hours, though the mother was still nervously awaiting the return of her child’s father. However, the negotiation team were prepared to board the _Night Buzzard_ which would take them to rendezvous with the _Raddus_.

“General Engell,” Ryelle addressed her superior as she introduced Leia, “this is General Organa.”

“Amret, it’s been a long time,” Leia said, nodding to General Engell. The last time Leia had seen the woman was over twenty years ago when the New Republic leadership had attempted to negotiate a treaty with the dying Galactic Empire on Velusia.

“Leia,” the general acknowledged her, a slight smile ghosting her face. “Let’s hope this time goes more smoothly than the last?”

“Agreed,” Leia said tightly. “I think it’s in both our best interests.”

While there was a coldness between the two women, it was a quiet tension, the others in the room oblivious to the interchange, for there was more on their collective minds than the sins of the past.

“The _Raddus_ holds multiple areas of interest for us,” Ryelle began as the ship’s schematic was displayed on the holovid screen on the far wall of the conference room. “We have submitted a request for the room where the negotiations are to take place to have a window, no less than twenty seats, and two entrances. That is because we want the Resistance to place us in this specific room,” she said as she zeroed in on the Administrative Level Conference Room. “It’s also located just down the hall from the detention center, making it easier to transport Ren from there to the meeting, so they’re likely to find this convenient for them, as well. This is where we want to be situated for an optimal escape route once we’ve liberated the Supreme Leader, and it’s the only room fitting these requirements, so if they honor the request, we’ll be exactly where we plan to be.”

Trudgen now stepped forward, taking over the presentation.

“The corvette _Thunderstrike_ is the ship we’ve put back in service as our Trojan Horse,” he said, looking over at Livia and nodding. “It will arrive not long after the diplomatic envoy and will be manned by Ushar, Kuruk and Ap’lek. When the corvette comes out of hyperspace here,” he indicated the port side of the _Raddus_ , “the crew will feign damage and communicate only via binary, claiming the comms, visuals and sublight engines are compromised, forcing them to bring the ship in via tractor beam to this specific docking bay,” he said, zooming in on the port side hangar. “From here, we will have to make our way to the atmospheric processing plant, probably through deception, and from there we will access the atmospheric ducts which will allow us to travel undetected all the way to the ventral crew decks, just fore of the conference room. The vents appear to be large enough for us to traverse until we reach the area outside the conference room hallways,” he moved the schematic to the new location and showed the junction of the ductwork and an elevator shaft. “At that point, the ductwork becomes too narrow, and we will have to come in by force via the lifts; this will be the end of our subterfuge, and it will be guns blazing from there on out.”

“That sounds incredibly dangerous,” General Parnadee surmised.

“That’s why we get paid the big bucks,” Ap’lek replied smugly from behind his skeletal-looking mask, making Parnadee shrink back in her chair.

“What of Lieutenant Zimms?” Livia asked. “She’s sacrificed so much, we must rescue her as well.”

“We would have to get into the detention area, and for that, we don’t have the manpower,” Ushar replied. “It’s Ren or her.”

Livia looked downcast as she cradled Kylin, sad to be forsaking the woman who was so instrumental in keeping her son alive to this point.

“So, we’ll blow the doors of both the lift and the conference room,” Ushar said, patting his thermal detonators, “and Trudgen will free Ren.”

Ryelle spoke up. “It may not be that easy,” she replied. “My informant states that the Supreme Leader is being held in some kind of Force-supressing field generator.”

“If we destroy the generator, the field should go down, no?” Kuruk asked.

“Maybe, but it may blow the whole room, and Ren with it,” Leia replied. “I know that machine. It was used on Ben Kenobi many years ago, and we appropriated it during the transition,” she said, referring to the time when the New Republic took over many of the assets of the former Galactic Empire.

“Lieutenant Pryde,” Leia looked down the table to the former FOSB agent, “can your informant help us disable the generator?”

“Maybe,” Ryelle said, “I’ll see what he can do.”

“So we get Ren, head down this hallway, and back out to the the _Night Buzzard,_ where Lady Livia and the baby await,” Ushar finished his explanation.

“Wait, why am I staying behind?” Livia asked as she provided Kylin her pinky to suck on to keep him quiet.

General Engell leaned forward. “Admiral Holdo has asked that we leave one member of our team on the ship as a show of good faith.”

“I don’t like this,” Leia said, her face a mask of worry. “Amilyn’s up to something, and I don’t know that I like the way this is playing out.”

“Well, we’re up to something, too,” Kuruk responded, “and our something is a helluva lot better than anything she’s got.”

“Regardless,” Trudgen continued, “we’ll have the _Thunderstrike_ wired to blow in the port side hangar, giving us a distraction to cover our escape as we make our way back to the _Night Buzzard._ We then blast our way out of the hangar and head aft where there are less armaments. The _Raddus_ is outfitted with turbolasers, ion cannons, laser turrets and proton torpedoes, seventy percent of which are mounted on the fore half of the ship. Because that ship is slow and it takes time to turn it around, we’ll have jumped to light speed with Ren in our possession before they can mount any serious attempt to attack or retake us.”

General Engell stood and addressed the team. “Is everyone agreed?”

The dark room was quiet for a moment, only the sound of the knights’ armor creaking in the silence.

“Aye,” Trudgen volunteered, and a round of ‘ayes’ from all assembled followed, their voices grim and determined.

~~~~~~

Amilyn Holdo was reviewing the request by General Engell to arrange the meeting in a room with very specific requirements.

 _I think I see what she’s doing here,_ Holdo thought, her lip curled at the plan she thought she was seeing. _It doesn’t matter, because they’ll never get Ren out of the detention center._

Despite agreeing to the terms to have Ren in attendance at the negotiating table, albeit under restraint, Holdo planned to leave him behind the intense layers of security until the treaty was actually signed.

Poe sat at the desk in front of her, also looking over the list of requests.

“What’s this about the baby and its mother?” he asked.

“A bit of insurance,” Holdo replied, her face confident. “If they screw us over, we blow the ship - mother, baby and all. But they won’t, not with that much at stake.”

“Admiral, you can’t do that,” Captain Namit broke in, “that’s more cold-blooded than anything we’ve done before!”

“Don’t you think it was cold-blooded when the First Order destroyed the entire Hosnian system? How many mothers and babies do you think were on those planets?” she demanded hotly.

“This is different - this is a peace treaty, and you’re literally holding a gun to their heads. They won’t work out a deal under those circumstances!” Poe cried.

“Then they don’t get Ren!” she threatened.

“And we don’t get Leia!” he responded.

“My days of giving a shit about Leia Organa are over,” she declared, her face contorted with disgust. “If we don’t get Leia back, that’s just too bad, because she’s forfeited her right to be part of the Resistance. As far as I’m concerned, the moment she ran away with that whore hanging onto Ren, she became a traitor."

“Do you know why the general is there now?” Namit demanded of Holdo. “Because without his father, that baby was dying. He essentially went on a hunger strike when Ren was taken hostage, and only his connection to the Force through Leia is what’s keeping him alive.”

“Then maybe it’s best that the little demon dies already,” she snarled, “because he's the fruit of that poisonous family tree, and it’s time we ripped it out by the roots! That baby is helpless now, but what about when he’s twenty? Forty? We’ll have Darth Ren on our hands, or whatever the hell that spawn decides to name himself!” she spat. “No! It ends and it ends now, and I’m going to be the one that ends it!”

“Admiral, you’re making a big mistake,” Poe advised her softly. “Either negotiate in good faith, or don’t negotiate at all, because if this goes out of control, you’re going to get a lot of people killed.”

“No, I won’t,” she boasted, “because Ren won’t be released until the treaty is signed, and they won’t dare do anything to jeopardize their precious Supreme Leader. Besides,” she said, rising from her desk and walking over to the viewport to gaze out over the other ships travelling in their convoy, “I’ll have Enric Pryde at the table, and he’s quite capable of ferreting out the information I’ll need to put them on the defensive.”

“I guess you’ve made your decision,” Namit observed solemnly. “We’ll meet you there at oh-three-hundred.”

Admiral Holdo didn’t reply, she simply looked at them dismissively before she set her jaw and turned away from the two officers to look back out the window.

Poe and Geno walked silently from Holdo’s office, shocked at her behavior.

“I can’t believe her,” Namit said as they were out of earshot of her day room. “I don’t know what’s happened to her lately, but she’s not the Amilyn I used to know.”

“I think, without General Organa’s influence, she’s letting whatever ideology she’s been cooking up in her head have free reign. She’s a strong personality, but Leia’s always been stronger, and without her here, Holdo’s taking the power and running with it.”

“What are we going to do, Poe?” Namit asked.

“I dunno, but let’s meet back up in an hour and see where we stand. I want to see what this room looks like, what the detention area looks like, just in case we need to get involved, you know?” Poe asked.

Namit nodded as he tapped his combadge. “I got you, Commander. Let’s reconnect in an hour.”

The two men saluted each other casually as they reached the end of a hallway, each one going his own way to find a way to make the negotiations successful, no matter what Holdo had in mind.

~~~~~~

Once she was alone in her office, Amilyn Holdo let her memories creep in, the scenes and images of her youth, the men she’d been involved with, the romances gone wrong, and the pregnancies she’d discovered, only to have to terminate them in order to prioritize her career, a career that left her childless.

 _What does Leia know of sacrifice?_ she thought. _She has her son, and look what she let him become. Now even he has a child, one he doesn’t deserve, either._

The jealousy that seeped into her heart was coloring her outlook, and she was oblivious to how it was influencing her, feeding her need for revenge against the women whose children she didn’t even realize she was coveting.

~~~~~~

The two parties met in the docking bay of the _Supremacy_ one last time, prepared to come back with the Supreme Leader alive or die trying, for they had no other alternative.

The team of the _Night Buzzard_ was assembled with its diplomatic contingent consisting of General Amret Engell, Lieutenant Ryelle Pryde, General Leia Organa, Knight of Ren Trudgen, and Livia with her son Kylin. Opposite them were the Trojan Horse contingent of Ushar, Kuruk and Ap’lek on the _Thunderstrike_ , Vicrul and Cardo notably absent to their comrades.

Everyone was calibrating their combadges and double-checking their weapons statuses while Livia checked she had brought everything for Kylin she could possibly need, including his climate-controlled bassinet.

“Leia,” she called, tugging the General’s sleeve, “what if Kylo doesn’t come back? What if he doesn’t make it? Will you stay with me? With Kylin?”

She turned to Livia, taking in the fear and trepidation on the young mother’s face.

“Livia, you must have faith in the Force,” she said, cupping her future daughter-in-law’s pale face. “Oftentimes, the future seems uncertain, clouded with fear and danger. But you must believe in the ability of the Force to bring balance and set the universe to rights.”

“Kylo had spoken in the past of bringing balance, of the Gray Jedi texts that had revealed new knowledge to him,” she said as she looked down at Kylo’s progeny squirming in her arms. “Maybe he will finally have the chance to bring that into play.”

Everyone waved goodbye to each other amidst exhortations for luck and best efforts, and Livia followed Leia up the ramp of the _Night Buzzard_ where Trudgen directed her to a small cabin in the back.

“This room can be magnetically sealed, giving you a brief amount of time to defend against intruders,” he said as he drew open a drawer under the bunk. “In here are rifles and grenades, should you need them. Do you know how to use these?”

Livia shook her head, for Kylo had never taken the opportunity to put any weapons in her hands, and her Interstellar Studies schooling had dealt only with mechanical and astronavigation concepts.

Trudgen showed her how to disengage the safety, aim, and pull the trigger on the rifle, and where the switches were and how long she had before implosion on the grenades.

“These are concussion grenades; they won’t kill, they’ll only give you a window of opportunity for escape, alright?”

Livia nodded her understanding, praying she wouldn’t need to use them, and Trudgen closed the drawer before taking his place in the cabin and guiding the ship out of the hold of the _Supremacy,_ the _Thunderstrike_ positioning itself to follow soon after.

And as the ship carrying Kylo’s rescue team entered hyperspace, Livia indeed sent up her prayers to the Force, whatever mysterious power that was that had engendered the origin of her people, gave Kylo his incredible powers to mold and shape his own destiny, and would either deliver her and her family from the awful burden ahead of them, or leave them at the mercy of the enemy where they would be utterly and totally decimated.

~~~~~~

Admiral Holdo stood over the dying figure of Captain Namit, the light fading from his eyes as the hole in the side of his head still smoked from the laser bolt she’d fired into him as he’d held his contraband comm unit, the small box lying on the floor nearby.

“You thought you were so slick, Geno,” she taunted him as his last breath escaped his mouth, formed into a shocked expression, “but you knew too much to not have been the mole we were looking for, and I was so right.” She picked the comm unit up and slipped it into a pocket in her flowing gown. “Thanks for the back door. Now I have complete control over this situation.”

Geno Namit never felt her leave the pistol in his hand to disguise his murder as a suicide, and she stepped over his cold corpse in the corner of his refresher, expecting his body not to be found until long after the negotiations took place.

~~~~~~

Ryelle looked concerned as she checked her combadge, expecting to see incoming contact from her informant about the field generator holding Ren captive.

“What’s wrong?” General Engell asked, seeing the look of concern on Lieutenant Pryde’s face.

“My informant’s gone cold, I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” she replied.

“It’s too late now,” Engell stated.

“That it is,” Pryde replied, turning her attention away from the gadget and gazing at the hyperspace trails outside the front canopy and thinking of Kylo, always of Kylo...

~~~~~~

Poe Dameron dialed the signal key for Captain Namit, anxious to see if he’d reached out to his contact in the First Order.

“Come on, Geno!” Dameron whispered to himself, but the unit toned relentlessly without result. Poe was starting to think things were already going sideways, and he was making his way toward Namit’s quarters when he saw Admiral Holdo walking the other direction toward the lift that would ascend to the command bridge.

But Holdo had no reason to be down here - as a senior officer, her quarters were on the command level, and there was no one she associated with outside of Namit whose quarters were here, who should have been moved to the senior officer level months ago after his promotion to captain, but he’d simply remained behind, quietly continuing his existence among his many friends and comrades, so well-liked he was among the crew.

After Holdo vacated the hallway, Poe strode down to Namit’s quarters as unobtrusively as possible, trying to look like he belonged here. He signaled the door several times, receiving no answer before he gave up and slipped a small vibroknife out of his pocket, sliding it between the lock and the latch, hoping the tool would do the trick.

The residential sector was never meant to serve as a secure facility, and the simple lock on Namit’s door gave way with nothing more than a *snick* as the latch retracted and the door slid aside, the room in darkness except for a small light coming from the refresher. Poe waited for the door to slide closed behind him before calling out for Geno, but there was no reply.

When Poe pulled the refresher door the rest of the way open, he was saddened to discover Namit’s body lying between the vacc tube and the sonic shower, a black scorch mark at his temple, his hand folded around the pistol lying in his lap.

“Oh, Geno,” Poe sighed, coming to the conclusion that it could only have been Admiral Holdo who had tried to make it look like Namit offed himself.

Dameron took a look around Namit’s room for anything out of the ordinary before realizing he’d better leave, and quickly, before someone found him here and blamed the murder on him. He ducked his head out of Namit’s door to check the hallway before slipping out unnoticed and retreating to his own quarters, careful to ensure he wasn’t followed.

~~~~~~

“I still haven’t heard from my informant,” Pryde informed General Engell as the _Night Buzzard_ dropped out of hyperspace less than a parsec from the _Raddus_.

Engell appeared disturbed by the news until a soft signal issued from Ryelle’s combadge, a message flashing across the screen.

_Ren not free. Abort me_

“What the hell does this mean?” Pryde asked Engell.

“Message him back,” Engell urged her, “and stay on top of that combadge.”

Engell then addressed General Organa. “General can you remember anything about that restraining unit they’re holding Ren in? Any power specifications, anything?”

Leia shook her head. “I’m sorry, technical specs were never my expertise,” she said, but she tried to think, and that’s when she approached Ryelle.

“Is this combadge tied into only a specific signal key, or can you reach any Resistance key if you know the code?”

“You’d have to know the specific key and the code that goes with it, but yes,” Ryelle confirmed.

“Can I please have it? I think I might be able to get someone to help,” she said, intending to dial Poe Dameron and hoping he’d be open to what she had planned. She had memorized Poe’s numbers, she’d had to use them so many times, and she soon found the combadge toning as it connected with Poe’s.

“Poe here,” she heard his rough voice come through the speaker, one of the sweetest sounds she’d ever heard.

“Dameron, it’s me, are you free to talk?”

The comm went quiet for a second, the silence hanging heavy among the team members surrounding the speaker.

“Now I am, General. Where the hell are you?”

A collective exhale was expelled from the group as Leia made contact with the commander.

“Where is Namit?” Ryelle asked, revealing the name of her informant.

“He’s dead. What’s going on?” Poe asked.

“Dammit,” Pryde cursed, “what happened?”

“Shot in the head. I think Holdo wanted to make it look like it was his idea, if you get what I mean,” he replied.

Leia broke in. “We need to disable that field generator so we can retrieve Ren out of the detention area. Can you do anything to help us?”

“Not if Holdo finds me first. General, I want this treaty as much as anybody, but she’s gone rogue. I don’t know what she’s up to, but I don’t like the way things are shaking out,” he replied.

“Alright, well, we’re almost to the rendezvous point. Keep this signal key dialed in, I may need to keep in touch with you,” Leia instructed him, “and see what you can find out about getting that generator down, everything depends on that!”

“You got it, General, Poe out.”

The women gathered around each other, terrified at the turn of events and wondering if they really should abort the meeting as it appeared Namit was trying to tell them, or if they should move forward, counting on Dameron to step into the gap.

“We’ve come this far,” Ryelle stated, “Kylo always taught me to keep pushing forward, even when things looked bleak and the odds were against us.”

Leia recalled her son’s courage as a youngster. Even when he was afraid, he’d press forward, ignoring his fear as he sought to overcome his challenges.

“We have no other choice,” Livia chimed in. “Either we rescue Kylo now, or everything is lost.”

“Ren always taught us, stay the course, don’t deviate from the plan,” Trudgen called back from the cockpit.

“Then it’s settled,” Engell decided for the troupe. “It’s do or die. Let's go.”


	29. The Big Race

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this turned into way more adventure and a lot less smut than I'd intended, so I want to thank everybody who continued reading despite not receiving a steady stream of sex! I can promise at least one more encounter before I wrap things up.

The team aboard the _Night Buzzard_ found themselves sitting in the main hangar of the _Raddus_ , waiting to be met by their Resistance hosts and time dragged by slowly as they sat patiently marking time in the docking bay of the _Raddus_.

Kylin was fussing and Livia tried to soothe him, softly brushing what was left of his hair with her hand and shushing him patiently as Leia placed what she knew might be her last kiss on her grandson’s face.

“Where are they?” Lieutenant Pryde wondered aloud.

“They’re making us wait, trying to put us off our game,” Leia supplied. “It’s a typical negotiating tactic, I’ve done it myself. All we can do is bide our time and stay confident.”

“If they keep us too long, we’ll blow the timing we had set up with the _Thunderstrike_ ,” Trudgen said, “and we can’t get a message through to them while they’re in hyperspace to let them know about any delays.”

“You won’t get a message through, anyway,” Leia observed. “They’re suppressing signals going into or out of this docking bay, you can be sure.”

Engell nodded. “And if they can manage it, they’re eavesdropping as well.”

“Then best to stay quiet, huh?” Trudgen replied, propping his massive boots up on the dashboard of the cockpit.

After what seemed like hours, a greeting party appeared at the bottom of the _Night Buzzard’s_ boarding ramp and ascended into the hold where the First Order diplomatic envoy awaited them.

Generals Engell and Organa stood at the ready, Lieutenant Pryde behind them and Trudgen rising to his feet as Living hung back with Kylin, the noise inside the ship disturbing the nap he was taking in his mother’s arms and causing him to cry.

Larma D’Acy led the crew, flanked by Kaydel Ko Connix and Poe Dameron, with several assorted military police bringing up the rear.

“General,” Colonel D’Acy greeted Leia with disappointment in her voice. “You’ve put us in a very difficult position.”

“I was in a difficult position myself, but it’s time we sat down and worked this out. Where is Amilyn?” she asked. For Admiral Holdo not to come to the ship and greet them was a grave breach of etiquette.

“She’s waiting in the conference room, we’ll be joining her there,” she replied.

“Any reason she’s not here now?” Leia pressed.

“We’re here to escort you to the negotiating table, I don’t see what difference it makes if you see her here or there, as long as you get a treaty signed,” D’Acy remarked, repressing her displeasure with the whole process.

“Lead on then, Colonel,” Leia said before the M.P.’s patted down their guests, taking anything and everything off their persons that looked like a weapon. Trudgen reluctantly allowed them to remove his helmet and armor which created an additional delay, and when they did, they found a small explosive device in his boot.

“Whoops,” Trudgen offered, a smile on his face, trying to be charming. “Thought I got ‘em all.”

The officer rolled his eyes at Trudgen and left the device in a storage locker off to the side of the hold.

As they approached Livia, Kylin sent up a loud bawl.

“That one stays here - she’s the insurance,” Poe directed the M.P.’s as Livia shrank back toward the room Trudgen had provided to her earlier.

As the group departed the _Night Buzzard_ , Livia waved to her comrades, sending each one a message with her eyes that said, “thank you, and good luck,” while two of the soldiers remained behind to guard Livia. Perhaps sensing the gravity of the situation, Kylin refused to be calmed until Livia retreated into the room to nurse him, his appetite still thankfully keen.

“Leave the door open,” one of the officers ordered her as she turned to shut it.

“I can’t,” she said, looking shocked he’d demand she nurse her son in front of him, but also wanting the opportunity to open the drawer Trudgen had shown her. “I need privacy.”

“No, you don’t,” he responded.

“Please,” she pleaded, “I’m shy, I can’t expose myself in front of strangers, and if I’m nervous, my milk won’t come in for the baby.”

“Let her go,” his comrade, a bearded man, chided him. “She’s right, my wife used to have trouble, too.”

“Fine,” the first soldier said, “but you’re getting patted down when you come out of there.”

Livia closed the door behind her, grateful for an excuse to put a barrier between her and these Resistance fighters. If she flipped a small switch, the magnetic lock on the door would engage, but they would also hear it, so she wasn’t going to do that unless absolutely necessary.

In the meantime, she bared her full breast for Kylin which he latched onto with eagerness, carrying him with one arm while she deftly and quietly slid open the drawer below the bunk and withdrew the rifles and grenades, disguising them under the floor of the bassinet, the plastic bag holding Kylin’s wet diapers on top of them. She hoped the camouflage would be enough to discourage the guards from looking closer should they inspect the small bed. Livia didn’t trust these men, and she wasn’t going to let them do to her and Kylin what they were doing to Kylo.

~~~~~~

As they turned down the same hallway for the second time, Ryelle leaned over to Leia.

“Circles,” she whispered, and Leia blinked her acknowledgement, understanding that although she herself knew exactly where she was, the backtracking and rerouting of the party was intended to throw off the First Order members who did not. Pryde, however, had caught on to the ruse as the diplomatic team were led down hallway upon hallway, multiple times, sometimes from opposite directions, in order to confuse them.

However, once Dameron and his comrades finally delivered them to the meeting room they’d requested, the team were even more angered to discover Holdo had gone back on her word.

The meeting room was not anywhere close to where they had arranged to be, although Holdo had managed to meet the requisite conditions - the room, which appeared to formerly have been two separate officers’ quarters until a construction crew came in and tore out the dividing wall, had a window, two doors, and twenty seats, although they were crammed together so close as to almost be useless, and there was clearly no room for Ren if he was to have been brought to the room still held captive in the field generator. 

“Isn’t this cozy,” General Engell muttered to Pryde as they all tried to stand together at the foot of the negotiating table to greet Admiral Holdo, standing triumphantly at the front of the room and looking smug.

“Leia, how nice of you to rejoin us,” Holdo smiled. “Please, come sit here,” she said, indicating the seat on her left, furthest from the doors. “And General Engell, if you’d be so kind to sit on my right.”

After the senior staff took their assigned seats, the remaining personnel gathered with their colleagues, the Resistance on the opposite side from the First Order. Trudgen found himself facing Poe Dameron, but Ryelle Pryde found herself facing an empty chair as Konnix and D’Acy sat at the foot, near the doors, which promptly opened to reveal Enric Pryde, former Allegiant General of the First Order, still in his uniform thought his pips and insignia were noticeably absent.

“Enric!” General Engell blurted out.

“Amrett, so good to see you again,” he replied smoothly. “Ellie, darling, I wasn’t expecting to see you here, though. Still chasing after our handsome Kylo?” he taunted her as he moved to stand behind the unoccupied seat opposite her, Ryelle’s face turning into a snarl.

“Where _is_ Ren?” she demanded of her father who was seating himself at the table.

“It was a stipulation that the Supreme Leader be present for the negotiations,” General Engell added.

“And so he will be,” Holdo assured them, a vidscreen coming to life behind her. “Can you hear us, Mr. Ren?” she asked.

The assembled First Order team gasped as they saw Kylo hanging suspended in the manacles that kept him restrained, hand, foot and neck, and Leia was secretly glad Livia was still back on the ship so she wouldn’t have to witness the way he was being treated.

“I trust you’ll be cooperative,” Holdo addressed the vidscreen. “Your child and his mother are being taken to a secure facility where she will be safe while we discuss matters of importance,” Holdo replied.

“She was to have been kept at the _Night Buzzard_!” Leia exclaimed. “Amilyn, you’re going too far.”

“Just a bit of insurance to guarantee the First Order negotiates in good faith,” the Admiral answered her smugly before threatening, “I’d hate to have to make a claim.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“No, Leia, _you_ wouldn’t!” Holdo shot back. “You wouldn’t do a lot of things you’ve needed to do over the last thirty years, like destroy this evil offspring of yours,” she said, pointing at the vidscreen behind her. “But don’t worry - I’m going to take care of what you should have a long time ago. I’m going to yank this evil family out of the good soil of the galaxy by the roots, once and for all, so I can stop you and your descendants from destroying everything we’ve worked so hard for!”

“Amilyn, what’s happened to you?” Leia asked sadly. “Just what are you expecting to accomplish, what are you willing to do for peace?”

“I’m willing to do what is necessary to restore this galaxy to its rightful state under the rule of leaders like me who understand what’s needed for the good of the people, by any means necessary. You’ve underestimated the Resistance for the last time,” Holdo stated, looking down the side of the table with the assembled members of the First Order.

When she knew she had their full attention, Holdo drew Namit’s comm unit out of her pocket and flicked it with her wrist so that it slid down to the middle of the table, Engell looking hard at Leia while Enric smirked at Ryelle who closed her eyes in defeat. 

~~~~~~

“Ap’lek, the enemy ship’s not where it’s supposed to be,” Kuruk observed their navigational scopes as the _Thunderstrike_ came out of hyperspace at the appointed destination.

“Bastards,” Ap’lek responded. “See if you can get a trace on the _Night Buzzard’s_ signal, any ion trails they may have left indicating their last known direction.”

Many harrowing minutes passed while Kuruk cross-referenced the nearby signals with the navigational charts. “If my instincts are right, I’m betting they’re on the far side of Pamarthe,” he said. “They were supposed to be here, near Daxam Four; it’s the only place they could have travelled in the amount of time between then and now that could give them cover.”

“Then, lay in a course, we’re not giving up,” Ap’lek said as he primed the engines for another take-off.

~~~~~~

“Are you done in there?” Livia heard as a sharp pounding came at the door.

The noise startled her and Kylin both, the baby breaking into a fresh round of crying.

She gathered her son in her arms to comfort him as she pressed the door control to the open position.

“You need to come with us now,” the officer with the thick beard informed her.

“I was supposed to stay here!” she argued.

“You’ll do as you’re told,” the taller officer barked at her and tried to direct her out of the small room with his rifle. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” Livia balked, hesitant to leave the confines of the secure cabin.

“You don’t need that information,” he answered abruptly, but his partner responded with a clarification.

“We’re just putting you in a room where we can keep a better eye on you.”

Livia relented, knowing she was overpowered, and began to gather Kylin’s things.

“Leave it,” the tall one ordered her.

“I can’t, he needs diapers and his bassinet,” she pleaded.

“Aw, for frag’s sake, Rendill, just let the lady have her baby stuff, alright?” the bearded man reasoned with his comrade, the same man who’d defended her privacy with Kylin earlier.

“Look, Tharp, we can’t trust these people, not one bit,” Rendill replied.

“Rendill, babies need a lot of stuff. You know, I hope you’re never a parent.” Turning to Livia he said, “Go ahead and bring his things. Hey, you’re alright, little guy,” Tharp said kindly and gave Kylin his pinky to grasp onto when the baby began screaming louder. Tharp’s kindness almost made Livia her sorry they were on opposite sides, but it didn’t stop her from what she did next.

“Let me change him real quick, he’s just soiled himself,” she asked.

“No, do it later,” the tall one said.

“Rendill, have you ever ridden in a lift with a baby in a dirty diaper? You don’t want to, I’m just sayin,’” Tharp advised his partner.

“Fine,” Rendill relented, “but don’t think about trying anything stupid,” he said, shoving his finger in her face. “I’d hate to see you lose that scrawny little brat over some foolish stunt.”

Livia returned to him a look of pure disgust, his behavior toward Kylin making her decide that if she had to pull a weapon, it was being directed at him first, and she might not leave it on ‘stun’. However, she kept her mouth shut and laid Kylin back down on the bunk, closing the door and hitting the magnetic seal at the same time, hoping the noises following one on another would not tip the two guards off to the fact that she’d just locked them out.

~~~~~~

Admiral Holdo pulled up a vidscreen from the center of the table that faced its guests.

“As you can see from the stipulations in this treaty, the First Order will immediately cease all operations from the Core to the Outer Rim in the next twenty hours, turn over all assets to the Resistance, and all First Order personnel will report to Resistance-held planets for processing,” she said matter-of-factly.

The room was deathly quiet as the attendees saw the verbiage in front of them that supported her statements, and Colonel D’Acy and Commander Connix turned to each other in confusion, as if the details were news to them.

“You’re insane,” Poe finally broke the silence from his end of the table.

“I’m sorry, which side are you on again?” Holdo asked sarcastically.

“This isn’t a negotiation,” Engell observed, “so much as a set of dictates. There’s no way we can meet these demands in this amount of time, even if we wanted to.”

“Tell me, General,” Holdo said, rising from her chair to come around behind Engell, “how long did it take you to decide to destroy the Hosnian system?”

“We tried to negotiate in good faith with them,” Engell defended herself. “When talks broke down, we took matters into our own hands. You’re not even giving us that courtesy.”

“Courtesy?!” Holdo exclaimed angrily as Engell turned to face her. “There’s no such thing as courtesy with the First Order! You’re all a bunch of fanatical dictators intent on destroying anyone who stands in your way.”

“Clearly, we’ve wasted our time,” Engell replied. “We came here as you demanded, we were prepared to discuss terms with you, and you’ve decided not to honor the details of the negotiations and to make all the decisions before we even arrived. These talks are over,” Engell stated flatly, rising from her seat. “We’ve returned General Organa as we agreed, therefore, we want Supreme Leader Ren now, and we’re leaving.”

“Like hell you are,” Holdo said, pushing Engell back down in her seat when the comm unit in the room went off.

“Admiral Holdo,” a man’s voice came over the speaker, “the mother has sealed herself off in one of the cabins, we can’t get her off the ship.”

Trudgen smiled as he realized Livia had taken advantage of the secure room on the _Night Buzzard_.

“Yeah, you ain’t never, ever, gonna get her outta there,” he snickered at Holdo. “That’s a safe room. That’s exactly what we built that for, and I suggest you get your men out of that ship if you know what’s good for’em.”

From his cell in the detention center, Kylo was proud of Livia that she’d listened to Trudgen and been so cunning. He only hoped she’d managed to survive the standoff.

“Get a team down there and tear that ship apart, panel by panel!” the Admiral screeched into the speaker. “I don’t care what you have to do to get that baby out of there, do you hear me?”

“Admiral,” Colonel D’Acy, now becoming concerned about the Admiral’s behavior, rose at the end of the table to address her superior. “Is that necessary? It’s an infant and a civilian, what harm can they do us? We already have Ren as collateral.”

“Sit down, D’Acy!” Holdo pointed at the colonel. “Question me one more time and you’ll be relieved of duty.”

The Resistance personnel seated at the table were now casting searching glances at each other as they all began to doubt Holdo’s hold on sanity.

“I’m getting this treaty now, here, today, or you people will die and I will hang your corpses from the highest building on Coruscant to send the message to the rest of the galaxy that the Resistance is done playing by the rules!” she raged, her fist banging against the conference room table and making the attendees jump. “I will have your surrender and I will have it immediately! Now, sign the goddamn treaty!”

General Engell rose from her chair, followed by Lieutenant Pryde and Trudgen.

“With all due respect, Admiral, we will not,” Engell said, her voice calm, her dignified accent communicating her clear refusal.

Holdo walked around the table behind Ryelle and grabbed the young woman by the scruff of her neck, shoving her face down to the table as the Admiral pulled a small pistol from her robes.

“Sign it!” the Admiral threatened, staring down General Engell.

The general looked down at where Ryelle was laying with her palms spread against the table, her cheek pressed against the slick surface and her face turned toward the vidscreen where she could see Kylo held prisoner in the detention center. As the young woman squeezed her eyes shut, a single tear slid down her temple.

“Go ahead and shoot,” Ryelle growled at her. “We’ll all die before we give up the First Order!”

Kylo struggled in the shackles, helpless to rescue Ryelle and knowing she was as good as her word. She was calling Holdo’s bluff, a bluff she knew she may not survive.

“Amilyn!” Enric hissed at the Admiral. “This wasn’t part of the plan!”

“Neither was losing the child as our hostage, but here we are,” she snarled at him. “Sign it, Engell or so help me, I will put a bolt through her brain!”

“Amilyn, put the gun down!” Enric demanded.

The next thing Holdo did was lift the gun across the table at Enric and fire point blank at the traitorous Allegiant General’s chest, Enric’s jacket smoking while his eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open a split second before he crumpled to the floor next to Poe, who had scrambled away from him as he’d been shot.

“DADDY!” Ryelle screamed instinctively, trying to squirm out from underneath the grip Holdo was exercising on her neck as she choked for air.

“SIGN IT, ENGELL!” Holdo screamed, her patience at an end and her eyes wild with fanaticism.

The rabid Admiral didn’t get to make her demand again as klaxons began blaring throughout the _Raddus_ , and the comm unit came alive once more.

“Admiral, we’ve been boarded!” the voice came from the bridge. “The _Thunderstrike_ came in the portside hangar, but it brought intruders!”

Engell and Trudgen exchanged glances, knowing this was their rescue as Ryelle took the opportunity of the distraction to twist under Admiral Holdo and push away her firing arm as Ryelle kicked her in the gut and sent the deranged woman into the wall.

When Holdo raised her arm to fire at Ryelle, Leia elbowed Holdo in the face, the admiral’s skull cracking against the wall, causing her to slump to the floor, where Leia kicked the firearm away from her.

“Poe, we need your help!” Leia pleaded. “We need to get Ren out of the detention area!”

“That’s easier said than done, General!” Dameron cried.

“I can do it,” D’Acy volunteered as the klaxons continued resounding overhead. “Follow me.”

“Stay here,” Leia ordered the First Order team, “we’ll return for you after we have Ren.”

Engell nodded as Trudgen flipped the conference table over to create a makeshift barricade while the Resistance team headed toward the detention center.

~~~~~~

“Dammit, now what?” Rindell demanded angrily, still annoyed Livia had locked him out of the cabin.

“Come on,” Tharp urged his comrade, “we need to report to the barracks, we’ve got intruders.”

“What about the woman?” Rindell asked.

“What about her?” Tharp replied. “It’s a woman and a baby! She’s too scared to do anything, leave her be and let’s go!”

Livia could vaguely hear the klaxons and then noted the pounding of the soldiers’ feet as they withdrew from the hold of the _Night Buzzard_. As she listened to confirm they had actually left her alone, she began to form a plan, knowing their original scheme had gone horribly awry.

Looking down at Kylin, she had a decision to make; should she leave him in the safe room where she could lock him in while she brought the munitions to help the team, should she bring Kylin with her while she tried to assist her comrades, or should she stay put, cowering in the ship and waiting to see what happened?

Livia knew how much everyone had been willing to sacrifice to help her and Kylin, and she felt it was time she started being an active part of the team, since they were all in danger now. Livia tucked Kylin carefully on top of the hidden munitions and closed the bassinet over him as she made her way down the ramp, intent on aiding her colleagues.

Standing at the bottom, she observed the hangar was empty, everyone apparently heading to the area where the conflict was taking place. Livia, however, was intent on one location - the detention center. Remembering the schematics they’d studied in advance of the incursion, Livia headed toward a lift on the far side of the hangar, pressing the number of the floor which housed Kylo’s prison cell and the conference room where they were supposed to have been meeting.

As the cab came to a sudden stop, she leaned her head out of the doors to witness the sense of urgency that had gripped the ship. Personnel were streaming down the hall toward the direction of the hangar where the _Thunderstrike_ was to have docked, and no one paid her any mind as she walked in the opposite direction with Kylin’s bassinet hovering in front of her until she reached the intended meeting room. When she ducked into the doorway, she was gravely disappointed to find it empty, not even a table or chairs present, and it dawned on her that the Resistance must have moved the meeting to another room.

She was now alone, regretting her decision to leave the _Night Buzzard_ as she realized she had no one to meet up with - Trudgen, Ryelle, Engell - they were all elsewhere on the ship, she had no idea where and no way to contact them. Now she was faced with the decision to either return to their ship or head to the next point of interest - the detention center.

Suddenly, like a clap of thunder, a detonation rocked the hallway outside and smoke began billowing into the room. She was thankful for the protection Kylin’s crib provided him, and when she looked outside, she saw Kuruk swinging into the hallway on a cable after Ap’lek, the doors of the lift blown, just as they’d intended.

However, the Resistance staff saw, too, and the dark trio began to come under fire. While Kuruk and Ap’lek managed to swing to safety, Ushar was the target of a well-aimed shot, and although his armor was able to withstand the blast, his balance was not, and the impact sent his body hurtling down the vacant shaft, his screams of anger and fear echoing up the elevator shaft as his comrades fielded fire from both ends of the hallway.

Livia had no battlefield training, no military expertise, it was true. But she wanted to survive, she wanted her child to survive, and she was going to do anything she could to make that happen.

She pushed Kylin’s bassinet into a corner of the room before reaching in to lift up the floor underneath the screaming infant and grabbing four of the concussion grenades before shushing the baby and closing him back in his protective shell.

Livia snuck over to the doorway to see Ap’lek and Kuruk were standing back-to-back, defending themselves from their adversaries, and Livia ducked her head out to determine where the opposition was located before she armed the grenades and began lobbing them down the hallways towards their attackers.

“Livia!” Kuruk cried out, shocked by her appearance at the conference room door. “MOVE!” he demanded of her as he and Ap’lek dove into the conference room doorway, just as the grenades detonated and loud blasts issued from the corridors outside, temporarily deafening her.

Kuruk was stooped down next to her, recharging his rifle.

“You! You have got to be kidding me!” he began yelling at her, then thought better of it. “We’re going to talk later, lady!”

“I have more!” she yelled back at him, pointing toward Kylin’s bassinet. “I have all the munitions from the safe room!”

“You’re crazy!” he yelled at her before he shouted his gratitude. “Good job!”

Kuruk called Ap’lek over to the bassinet and handed the baby out to his mother before tearing the floor out. The soldiers began jamming their bandoliers full of grenades and hoisting the rifles over their shoulders, Kuruk shoving the smallest gun into her hand before admonishing her, “Stay here.”

The two men ran from the room while Livia put Kylin back in his bassinet, his wails unheeded over the tumult outside as Livia heard more concussion grenades going off further down the hallway. When the smoke began to clear out, she poked her head out to see them turn a corner where the detention center should have been.

Livia felt her luck had probably run its course and she’d done all she could do to help. She thought of returning to the lift and going back to the _Night Buzzard_ , but the team had blown the elevator shaft wide open when they’d infiltrated this floor, and Kuruk had told her to stay put anyway. Instead, she looked for a closet or another small room within the conference room where she could hide with Kylin. Thankfully, the bassinet provided not only temperature control but noise control so that the baby’s cries would not give away their position. All she needed to do now was lay low and hope they came back for her.

She found a small supply closet off to the side of the room and concealed herself and Kylin in the small space while they waited to be rescued.

~~~~~~

“Hey, look who came to the party!” Trudgen announced as Kuruk and Ap’lek burst into the detention center. They’d passed four soldiers lying prone outside the now-open doors, General Organa, Ryelle Pryde and General Engell, as well as a small handful of Resistance personnel arrayed around the room, everyone considering the figure of the Supreme Leader who hung suspended over them in his glowing shackles.

“Where is Livia?” he asked, his child and his woman foremost in his mind.

“She’s down the hall, hiding out,” Ap’lek answered.

“What?” the women demanded in a chorus.

“Wasn’t my idea,” he offered, “so what are we waiting for?”

“We still haven’t figured out how to get him out of here,” Leia replied.

“Poe,” D’Acy addressed her comrade, “I’m going back to Holdo, we need to put her under arrest.”

“Good idea, take Connix with you, give you guys plausible deniability. The less you see, the less you have to answer for,” he reassured her.

“Trudgen,” Ren called, “get everyone out of here. I know what needs to be done.”

“But, Kylo!” Ryelle objected, “how are you going to break out of here?”

“Just get Livia and get back to the _Night Buzzard_ ,” he commanded her, his face tight and set with grim determination. “Secure the ship before the Resistance takes it out.”

As Kuruk addressed the rest of the group to enforce his leader’s commands, he urged them on with his rifle. “You heard ‘im, move!”

The group assembled in the anteroom of the detention center, the hallway just beyond full of personnel now racing in all directions.

“The _Supremacy_ has found us!” Leia exclaimed, looking down at her combadge and then up at Dameron. “I’m going back to the bridge, they’ll need me without Holdo at the helm. You round up the fighters and run interference until we can get them back on the _Night Buzzard_!” she said, jabbing her thumb towards the rest of the First Order personnel.

“Leia,” Ryelle called to her adversary, “thank you.”

The two women’s eyes met, Ryelle once more trying to escape the confines of the _Raddus_ , and they embraced tightly before Leia turned to head for the bridge.

“I don’t ever want to see you on my ship again,” Poe threatened the First Order crew as he turned toward the X-Wing hangar. “Now get outta here.”

~~~~~~

“Trudgen, I want you to set a detonator on the field generator, give me the countdown and shut the blast doors behind you,” Ren directed his now second-in-command.

Trudgen wanted to argue, but he had a feeling Ren had carefully thought this out in the many hours he’d been left to languish in his confinement. The Supreme Leader was gaunt and pale, but his eyes were yet fevered with anger and resolve.

“You got it, boss,” Trudgen said, but still throwing in his opinion. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

The knight’s gloved hand set a detonation grenade at the base of the power unit, and he looked up at Kylo for what he hoped wasn’t the last time before giving him the countdown as he turned to leave. “Ten, nine, eight-”

The blast doors slid closed behind Trudgen, who moved the crew into the hallway beyond the anteroom as they waited to see what became of the Supreme Leader.

And Kylo’s experience of time was slowed to a near-halt as the Force senses within himself were expanded to the edges of his consciousness. He saw the grenade detonate, closed his eyes to focus, and between the time the energy of the explosion disabled the power generator to release him from its grip and when the fiery gasses approached his form, he created a wall with the Force between himself and the combustion before he gathered that wall around the detonation, compacting the dangerous thermogenesis down into a ball of kinetic power that he absorbed into his body as he collapsed onto the floor.

The team outside heard the initial burst of ignition from the grenade, but not the customary completion of the concussion afterwards, and they all looked to each other, only the sound of the continued echoing of the klaxons sounding in the distance.

No one wanted to be the one to go to the doorway and discover exactly what had become of their Supreme Leader, and they didn’t need to, for he opened the portal himself, his grim form filling the doorway as he exited his prison.

“Where is my son?”


	30. Magic

The _Raddus_ was bedlam, personnel running everywhere, and the First Order contingent was forced to split up, the knights heading to the _Night Buzzard_ while Kylo, Amrett and Ryelle headed back to the original conference room to round up Livia.

However, as the Knights of Ren rounded the corner to the main hangar, they saw the _Night Buzzard_ explode as an X-Wing sent a proton torpedo directly into the power plant at the rear of the ship.

“The _Thunderstrike_!” Trudgen called, sending the troupe back the other direction across the breadth of the ship to the portside hangar.

“Let’s just hope they don’t go after that one!” Ap’lek replied, remembering how they'd wired the transport to explode as he barreled his way down a hallway after Trudgen, as Kuruk agreed, “BOOM!”

~~~~~~

The air was stifling in the closet where Livia crouched with Kylin, holding him to her as she wondered if all was lost, feeling the ship maneuvering as the noises of the battles surrounding the conference room were waxing and waning. She thought of making a run for it back to the _Night Buzzard_ and the safety of the magnetically sealed cabin, but she was sure she wouldn’t make it back safely amongst all the skirmishes.

When she heard footsteps walking toward her hiding place, she gripped the pistol Kuruk had left her with tightly in her free hand while clutching Kylin to her nipple where he was feeding quietly, and she was ready to fire at whomever might open the door.

The crack of light that broke through the doorway nearly blinded Livia, and she shrank back, trying to focus on the intruder as she pointed the pistol forward while a thick, strong hand grasped her wrist, pushing the gun out of the way.

“Livia!” Kylo cried.

“Kylo!! You’re free!” she cried out.

“Come now, we have to leave,” he said, pulling her from the closet, grateful to his son suckling at his mother’s breast. Even in the midst of battle, he was in awe of Livia’s devotion to their child’s well-being.

“Here, hand him to me, we have to run,” he advised her as Livia drew her robes closed and hiked up her voluminous hems, following on Ryelle’s heels as they raced after General Engell toward the main hangar, Kylo carrying his infant son protectively in his arms and deflecting stray laser fire that strafed them as they made their escape.

However, they encountered the same disappointment as the knights when they entered the hangar and found the _Night Buzzard_ a smoking pile of plastisteel and mangled components.

“No,” Ryelle whispered, distraught that they’d run into a dead end.

All around them, the _Raddus_ was rocked by fire from the _Supremacy_ , and the group feared for their safety, knowing the superiority of the First Order dreadnought against the much-smaller Resistance cruiser.

Ren looked around for a ship in the hangar that he could commandeer to accommodate the team, however, he saw nothing but X-Wings and Y-Wings and chances were, they’d be destroyed by incoming TIEs before they could even get halfway to the _Supremacy_. It was in that moment that the _Thunderstrike_ broke the rayshield of the hangar, settling on the deck and the ramp descending to reveal Kuruk and Ap’lek rushing to meet them, giving them protective fire as the team bolted for the security of the corvette.

As Ren entered the hold behind the women and the other knights brought up the rear, Trudgen backed the corvette out of the hangar, the _Supremacy’s_ ion cannon sent a blast of energy into the hangar around them that plunged the spacious area into a state of blackness when every electrical component in the surrounding area fell victim to the ion cannon’s fire.

Kylo handed the baby back to Livia and raced to join Trudgen in the cockpit, helping maneuver the bulky blockade runner out of the path of the battle while sending communications to the _Supremacy_ , providing the security codes to verify his identification and commanding Admiral Griss to stand down and disengage from the battle while the _Raddus_ escaped.

Ren never felt so much relief as he did the moment that the _Thunderstrike_ set down on the deck of the _Supremacy_ and he turned to face Livia, who held his son in her trembling arms.

The other occupants of the ship disembarked around them, leaving Kylo to sweep Livia into his arms before he descended from the belly of the ship, bringing his family back to the safety of his own domain where they belonged.

~~~~~~

The following days found Kylo attending debriefings with the Supreme Council over the debacle that had started with Livia’s kidnapping, the details of what had occured being recorded as intel for future encounters and as an object lesson in hubris for Ren as he regretted taking off after Allegiant General Pryde in his vengeful rage, heedless of the danger he was walking into.

His family were tucked safely away in the royal apartments once again, Ren desiring to increase the security even tighter but realizing there was only so much he could do to keep his family from danger. Meanwhile, Livia and the baby rested, she still just weeks from the birth and Kylin yet recuperating from the separation from his father. Kylo was heartbroken at the physical toll his absence had taken on his son and shocked at the connection the small babe had to him already.

“Kylo, almost from the moment you were taken prisoner, Kylin _knew_ ,” Livia declared to him as the three of them rested together in bed the morning following their return. “He stopped feeding and was inconsolable,” Livia related to him as she explained the attempt to obtain Leia’s help in effecting Kylo’s return and her decision to hand him over to his grandmother lest he starve to death.

Kylo lifted his baby up to look into the infant’s eyes, letting the child’s presence in the Force come to him, and what he felt there was incredible. Kylin reached out to him without words, the baby’s eyes boring into him and what Ren felt was so intense, he nearly broke down in tears. At only five weeks old, his babe knew Kylo was his father, that in Kylo was the root of his existence and the power of his psyche. His son understood that the man in front of him was his protector and the origin of everything he was, and that they shared a bond deeper than flesh and blood and bone, and he frightfully pulled at Kylo to let him know he’d been needed, he’d been missed, and he never, ever wanted to be separated from his father again.

Kylo didn’t know this same loyalty, this same attachment to his own father. Han had been a wisp in the wind, always coming and going with little notice or care, and Kylo had never formed the dependence on Han that Kylin had formed on himself, and it was almost frightening in its intensity.

“Daddy’s home, son,” he reassured the baby. Kylo wondered what he would do when future missions required him to be absent from his progeny, but that was a problem for another day, and as he handed Kylin back to his mother for his next feeding, the new doctor arrived to give everyone complete physicals after their long ordeal.

“Kylo, what happened to Lieutenant Zimms?” Livia asked, knowing it was probably fruitless and receiving only a shake of the Supreme Leader’s head in answer. Livia mourned for the doctor who had done so much to help their family, and she was saddened at the loss of one so loyal to her and her child.

“I want you both to rest,” Kylo commanded her gently, “you’ve been through a lot and I don’t want your health compromised any more than it already has been. We’ve got big plans to take care of,” he said as he leaned over and kissed her forehead, alluding to their upcoming wedding.

~~~~~~

Some weeks later on the night before their wedding, after she’d put Kylin down for the night in the nursery next door, Livia sat in front of her vanity, preparing herself for bed. Her heart was full of gratitude and joy as she contemplated her marriage to Kylo the following morning, and she smiled as he entered their bedchamber, a small, black velvet box in his hands.

“Hello, my love,” he said as he approached from behind her, gathering her long hair in his hand and drawing it aside to reveal her neck and placing a deep, lustful kiss against the soft skin there. Livia had barely felt his touch these many months, and she was ready to receive his attention again now that the doctor had declared she had recovered from the baby’s birth.

“Livia, I have something for you,” he said, looking over her shoulder at her countenance in the mirror. The box had piqued her curiosity, and he leaned over to place it in front of her as he lifted the lid.

Inside was a delicate platinum necklace of a design that mimicked the ring Kylo had given her - an array of fire rubies, Corusca gems and blue kyber crystals nestled among a pavé of tiny diamonds. Livia gasped as Kylo lifted the jeweled collar from its bed in the case and laid it against the base of her neck.

“I give you this with the understanding that you are not only to be my wife, but my possession, my property. If you accept this, you will belong to me body and soul, never to touch another man again. You will obey my commands, serve my desires and warm my bed, and I will never take another woman so long as you wear this,” he stated.

He looked into her eyes in the reflection of the mirror, letting his words sink into Livia’s consciousness as he waited to fasten it around her. He watched her carefully consider his offer, what he was asking of her.

“Do you understand what this means?” he questioned her.

Livia nodded minutely.

“Do you agree to all I am asking of you as a wife?” he asked.

Livia's eyes drifted away from his gaze as she contemplated what he’d proposed to her, what it would mean to her existence here with him in this galaxy. Despite her newfound knowledge from the Gray Jedi texts that she could feasibly, theoretically return to her own planet, by making this commitment to Kylo, she was forever turning her back on that possibility, because a promise such as this to Livia was sacred, more so than the civil contract of marriage. Kylo was collaring her, and to break this promise would be worse than divorce - in her own mind, it would mark her as a liar and a faithless companion for the rest of her life, permanently inscribing in her heart a scar of brokenness. Once she accepted his dominance over her in such a formal fashion, she would be forever subjugated to his hands, his desires, his dictates.

She carefully weighed his request of her until finally, she stared back at him in the mirror to answer him.

“Yes, Kylo. I will give myself to you, forever,” she replied. “I ask you only one last thing before I surrender my will over to you completely.”

He looked perplexed, wondering what she could possibly want of him.

“It’s been so long since we’ve been intimate, I’d like our next time together to be as husband and wife.”

“Of course, my love,” he smiled gently at her before his attention turned to the clasp at the back of the choker, his warm hands joining the two sides of it together, a deep *clack* sounding as the clasp snapped into place. “I will never make you regret your decision,” he promised her.

Kylo moved his hands to her shoulders as he admired the jewelry on her, allowing his fingers to trace their way from the back of her neck, over her shoulders and down her cleavage, her ripe breasts feeling hot in his hands.

“They’re so full now,” he husked in her ear, his war-calloused thumbs flicking over her extra-sensitive nipples as she gasped at his touch. Pulling aside the fabric of her gown, he observed a tiny trickle of milk over his thumb and lifted it to his lips, its sweetness lighting a fire of desire for her.

Kylo grasped the chair Livia was sitting on and swiveled it on its axis before kneeling down to bury his face in her bosom. He rubbed his rough, stubbled cheeks against the delicate skin there, his lips seeking out her nipples and capturing them between his lush lips one at a time, coaxing the rich liquid from them as he drank from her as greedily as his son.

“These are mine,” he said possessively, “I share you only with him,” he smiled between suckles, indicating their son.

It was the first time since they’d declared an emotional war against each other those many months past that Kylo had reached for her sexually, and he was worried he’d be unable to contain himself any longer if he continued to explore her body.

“I’m going to sleep in the guest room tonight,” he declared as he rose back to his full, imposing height. “Til tomorrow,” he said, slipping from their bedchamber, leaving Livia to comprehend that the elaborate ceremony planned for the following day that would join her to Kylo in marriage was merely a formality, that she was already coupled to Kylo in a way that no priest or civil servant could ever pass judgment. Turning to her image in the mirror, her fingers played over the elegant collar that acknowledged between the two of them that she was now his cherished slave.

~~~~~~

Standing in the antechamber of the temple, Livia’s dress hung heavily on her shoulders as Lidelle and Irini assisted her in donning the cloth-of-silver garment while Parna cradled a cooing Kylin. The women who had served as her nurses were now serving as her ladies-in-waiting, so highly did she esteem them and hold them in her trust, and their talented fingers helped unfurl the robe that was layered over the rich folds of skirting as the ceremony rapidly approached.

Livia embraced her ladies and thanked them before they followed her down the walkway of the temple, carrying her train to the altar past a vast array of guests, most of whom Livia didn’t know but were loyal and powerful supporters of the Supreme Leader and the First Order, while standing at the altar was General Engell who would be performing the ceremony, at Livia’s request. The woman had been so loyal to Kylo and had shown herself to be so reliable to him, she’d been brought into their personal circle of trust as well.

Most importantly, Kylo awaited her and she was in awe of his stance, his bearing, his visage. He was resplendent in a high-collared jacket of silky black material and silvery buttons, the hem coming just below his hips, a pair of matching jodhpurs conservatively cut, and his calves encased in a new pair of sleek leather boots so shiny, the lighting of the room was reflecting in them.

The Supreme Leader’s hands were clasped customarily in front of him, but as Livia approached the stone stairway to the altar, he reached down to offer her his hand, helping her ascend the steps and his eyes full of expectation as their eyes met and his gaze drifted to the collar she wore, his collar that he’d placed on her in private as a sign of ownership, the wedding a public recognition of their coupling.

Livia’s hand rested in Kylo’s as General Engell spoke of commitment and love, fidelity and patience, and she asked them each in turn to pledge their fealty to each other and their marriage to the First Order, Kylo avowing his assent first, and then Livia.

Before Livia knew it, the ceremony came to a conclusion and Kylo took her in his arms and possessed her mouth without reservation despite the eyes of thousands of attendees looking on, leaving no doubt for the onlookers of their passion and love for each other.

A large celebration took place afterwards, Livia’s head overwhelmed by the whirlwind of greeting stranger upon stranger passing by the elevated table at the head of the hall where she and Kylo held court. After a while, Lidelle informed her that Kylin was needing to be fed, and for the first time as his subject, Livia sought Kylo’s leave to depart his presence, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Kylo and he smiled as he nodded his permission.

Livia cradled Kylin lovingly in her arms in a private room, feeding him from her breast, an act she never took for granted after their frightening experience when he’d been separated from his father. She prayed they’d never be faced with such a difficult situation again, and she pushed the thought from her mind as she watched him suckling happily as he gurgled and patted her round flesh. He’d grown by leaps and bounds since being reunited with his father, recovering faster and more fully than the medical staff thought possible, much to his parents’ delight.

Handing a fed and burped Kylin back to Lidelle for a diaper change, Livia stepped into the hallway to return to the celebration, but as she turned a corner, she became aware of voices ahead of her, one of which she was sure was Kylo. She stopped, listening to the conversation and trying to pick out the words, certain that the other voice was a woman, but not sure whom. As Livia leaned against the wall near the corner, she overhead Kylo baring his heart to someone.

“I’m going to miss you, Ellie,” Kylo said to his companion.

“I’ll miss you, too, Kylo. I never thought our paths would cross this way again,” Ryelle replied.

“I know. I can never thank you enough for helping to save my wife and child. But this is goodbye this time, for good. I asked Livia for a very deep commitment, and I intend to provide her that same sense of commitment I asked of her,” he explained, sounding sad.

“I understand,” she answered, her voice soft. “You’ve made a wonderful partnership, and Livia loves you with all her heart. You are truly blessed.”

Livia could then hear the rustling of fabric and the soft sounds of a kiss, and though Livia felt a brief surge of jealousy at hearing her new husband kissing another woman, she would not begrudge he and his former lover the opportunity to bid their farewells, for she knew what it was to love Kylo, how painful it was to be without him, and she wouldn’t have traded places with Ryelle for anything in the galaxy.

~~~~~~

With the guests sent away drunk and sated, Kylin abed with a tummy full of milk and a clean diaper, and their elegant outfits taken away to be cleaned, Livia and Kylo found themselves alone in their bedchamber as husband and wife for the first time. 

Livia looked at Kylo with new eyes, a greater appreciation for him as he stood naked before her, his muscular arms and shoulders set back, his thick legs standing strong and proclaiming his dominance over the room in which they would sleep as a married couple. His strength and masculinity stirred the long-ignored passion in Livia, and she found herself falling into the role she had found the most natural state in which she could relate sexually to Kylo as she knelt before him, naked, her forehead pressed gently against his instep as her hands gently stroked his leg.

“My husband, my master,” she whispered just loud enough for him to hear her, and Kylo left her in that position for several minutes, drinking in her submission, bathing in the worship she offered him, overwhelmed by her show of devotion.

Kylo knew he had found a woman who outshone every other, that nowhere in this galaxy was there a woman who would understand and accept him as Livia did, and her commitment to him was a balm to his soul of which he didn’t feel worthy but couldn’t live without.

“Come, my love,” he said, reaching his hand down to lift her from her adoration to pick her up in his arms and carry her to the bed where he laid her out before him, separating her robes to reveal her newly-maternal body which now belonged wholly to him for his pleasure.

Her hips were more rounded, her curves more pronounced and he found the softness of her enticing in ways he didn’t expect. Kylo’s eyes hungrily drank her in, and he struggled to decide where he would touch her first, for he wanted to take all of her in with all of his senses and faculties at once. His mouth wanted to suckle her tits and cunt, his hands wanted to stroke her nipples and buttocks, and his cock wanted to conquer all of her holes simultaneously.

A trickle of milk from her breast helped him decide as his lips hungrily descended over the large, engorged nipple, sucking greedily at her and unleashing a torrent of milk from her bosom as she sighed with a rush of hormones, her hands tangling gratefully in his hair. The sweet, warm liquid filled his mouth, and the primal desire to consume such nourishment from a woman tugged at his spirit and he became lost in the sensation of her succor.

Tearing his mouth away from her, he came up for breath, gasping at the strength of his desire for her, and the stormy look in his eyes that seemed to turn his irises black frightened Livia with its intensity, which only served to stoke her own ardor even further. Though she knew she was now subject to Kylo’s will, she felt powerful as she discovered that he needed her as much as he commanded her, and the truth became clear for her that her submission to him was the only way he could satisfy his desire and need for her - he had to maintain a sense of being sovereign in order to embrace and express his attachment to Livia, and the collar she wore was her visible affirmation to him that she would not use his vulnerability against him.

Kylo’s hands sought out her pussy, his fingers trembling with anticipation as they parted her lips, so wet with her lust for him, and he invaded her gently as he possessed her for the first time in almost a year.

Livia’s back arched, and she nearly orgasmed as his digits sought out the nerve endings deep inside her where a burning ache had smoldered for him all this time. Her fingers dug into his arms while she moaned for him, begging for his touch to go deeper, her hips pressing upwards as she sought to possess him back.

“Kylo!” she whined, her head tossing around her pillow and her hips grinding against his hand as she hungered for his touch.

“Shhh, slow down, my love,” Kylo sought to soothe her, slowing his strokes as he instead placed his greedy mouth over her labia and clitoris, suckling them much more gently than he had her nipples, for he wished to draw out her pleasure for hours, teasing her slowly toward her peak and giving her a release such as she’d never before experienced. He was her master now, and his ownership of her made him desire to care for her and bring her every good thing she could ever desire, for he was as responsible to her for her well-being as she was to him.

Livia sighed in rapture while Kylo’s attentive touch brought her in higher and higher circles toward ecstasy. His hands were stroking her breasts as his face was nuzzled hungrily between her legs, and she felt she was enveloped in the orbit of his existence, not just his touch. She was becoming lost in the boundary between herself and him, but she wasn’t afraid, and it made her heart fill with joy.

Kylo soon rose to his knees, looming over her, his erection rigid and arresting, and Livia’s eyes were drawn to it as an outward manifestation of Kylo’s inner strength which she thirsted for more than anything else at that moment. Knowing he was going to enter her with it, to sheath it within her soft feminine core, sent a thrill up her spine and made her thighs and belly flush with anticipation. Lying on her back, the snug but sleek collar lying across her throat, she reached her arms out to him, her legs spreading wide to welcome her husband inside of her where she knew he belonged. “I love you, master,” she whispered as he lowered himself over her, Livia’s shaking hands ghosting over his sweaty chest.

The hot, slick head of his raging hard cock pressed softly against her womanhood, and Kylo hesitated as he lowered his face next to hers, his deep, intense voice massaged her ear as he whispered, “I will love you forever, Livia,” and his penis drove slowly but surely within the depths of her until he was buried between her thighs and she cried out at his possession of her, both physically and spiritually.

They lay still together as time passed them by, and they could feel the pulse of each other’s heart in their loins as they floated in the euphoria that their intimacy fueled in their bodies. Kylo was the first to move, his groin lifting delicately away from her as he withdrew his throbbing erection haltingly from her luscious chasm, only to gently press himself home inside of her once again, his languid thrusts taking them both down a path of love and longing. Soon, he was driving into her with all his might, taking her without mercy, unleashing his sexual fury as he sought the pinnacle of satisfaction, and as they both began to sweat and tremble without being conscious of anything around them, their bodies erupted as one, his raging cries of release and her unbridled screams of consummation blending into a chorus of deliverance as they crested the apex of their bodies’ desires.

Kylo collapsed on his wife, both of them lost to their surroundings and gasping for air as their sweat mingled between their flesh and the tingling of their orgasms began to ebb, ever so slowly. As they came back to themselves, Livia’s limbs entwined around Kylo where he lay in her embrace, both of them knowing they were now in the presence of the person they would end their lives with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final installment, and I want to thank those of you who stayed the course for this adventure.  
> This story was extremely cathartic for me on several levels, and I hope you gleaned at least some entertainment from it if not some inspiration.  
> My PSA for this story is only to encourage you that if you find yourself drawn to the BDSM lifestyle, to find safe, sane and consensual partners who respect your boundaries and understand the rules - safewords are a must, and a Master who won't provide you one is no Master at all - he's an abuser. I highly recommend, especially if you are new to the "scene", joining a Meetup or other group where they provide informational lectures, classes and supervised parties for safe play. BDSM is a viable lifestyle choice, but there is a great opportunity for things to go very wrong, and it's not worth a lifetime of heartache for a moment of pleasure. You deserve better.  
> Love and light  
> May the Force Be With You,  
> 'Star


End file.
